She Never Knew

by CJ Simpson

  After Tyler went upstairs, Kat led Sarah into her living room. “Would you like some lemonade?” she offered.

  “I’d love some! Have you been outside today? It’s beastly out there!”

  “Only to get the mail. I thought I was going to melt.” Kat went to her kitchen to fix their drinks while Sarah admired the photos on the mantel.

  When Kat returned to the living room, Sarah pointed to the picture of Kat’s parents. “Are those your folks?”

  “Yes. That picture was taken after my graduation ceremony six years ago.”

  “Who’s the guy standing behind them?”

  “My fiancé.” Kat said softly. “Michael.”

  Sarah looked at Kat and could see she touched upon a sensitive subject. “I’m sorry if I brought up painful memories.”

  “You didn’t.” Kat reassured her. “I just miss them terribly, that’s all.” She explained the accident that claimed all of their lives.

  “How awful! I’m so sorry!” Sarah said, with an expression of empathy. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you.”

  “It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. I think about them every day.”

  Sarah bowed her head, as if in prayer. When she looked at Kat again, she said, “What do you say we get started?”

  An hour later, Kat and Sarah ended their practice session. They went to the kitchen for refills and sat down at the kitchen table.

  “I thought we did pretty well, don’t you?” asked Kat.

  Sarah nodded in agreement. “I’m glad we decided to do this. How did you find out about the class?”

  “Tyler attends the Tiny Tigers class.” Kat explained. “One night during practice, Dottie mentioned that she was going to set up a class for women only, so I signed up.”

  Sarah smiled. “I’m glad you did. It’s always nice to make a new friend.”

  “It sure is.” Kat took a sip of her lemonade. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “When it happened to you—your attack, that is—what did you do afterwards?”

  “You mean, how did I deal with it?” Sarah asked. “Well, first I was in shock that something like that happened to me. I mean, it’s only been four months, but my husband has been incredibly supportive. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be today.”

  Kat let this sink in. “How did he react to that?”

  “He was in disbelief, like it was all surreal somehow.” Sarah sipped her drink. “I think underneath it all, he was enraged at some point. I really don’t remember much of his reaction since I was in the hospital for treatment.”

  Kat nodded in understanding. “I was in the hospital for three days. My doctor gave me a referral to see a counselor, but I never went.”

  “You might want to reconsider, even after all this time.”

  “Funny you mentioned that. My pastor suggested the same thing.”

  “The reason I went—and I went alone at first—is because I had a hard time opening up to my husband about it. Tom blamed himself for not being there when I needed him the most and I didn’t want to remind him of that by talking about it. It became stressful to the point where we realized our marriage was in trouble if we didn’t seek counseling as a couple.”

  Kat stared at her friend with admiration. “Do you think your husband somehow felt he failed you?”

  “Oh yeah, but now he understands what happened was out of his control. He tries not to show it for my sake, but I know it still bothers him.”

  Kat excused herself to check on Tyler. When she returned, she confided in Sarah that Michael was not Tyler’s father.

  Sarah looked at Kat and shook her head. “Wow. He doesn’t know, does he?”

  “No, he doesn’t and I’d like to keep it that way, at least for now.”

  “Was he ever caught?”

  “No.”

  The women sat in silence for a few minutes, each one thinking about the other.

  “Kat, how on earth did you recover from this?”

  “I’m not sure I fully have.” Kat replied. “It was a month after my parents and Michael died when I was raped. As odd as it sounds, I think being pregnant gave me a reason to go on.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. At first, I wanted nothing to do with the baby, and I didn’t know I was pregnant until I moved here.” Kat explained to Sarah how she and Michael discovered their house together. “I felt safe here and because Michael grew up as an orphan, I felt somehow this baby was a way for me to heal, to love a child the way Michael had never been loved by his parents. Sounds weird, huh?”

  “Not at all. I think it makes perfect sense. You must have had some deep soul searching going on then.”

  “Believe me, I prayed long and hard about it.” Kat finished her lemonade and motioned upstairs. “I know I made the right decision. I don’t know where I would be without Tyler.”

  “I know what you mean.” Sarah agreed. “I have two little girls and without them, I think I would’ve had a tough time. Tom is great, don’t get me wrong, but knowing your children need you is a whole different story. They are the reason we continue on.”

  “That, and our faith.”

  After a moment of silence, Sarah spoke quietly. “Kat, when was the last time you went out on a date?”

  Kat looked sadly at her friend. “Uh, actually, I haven’t been out on a date since Michael—I never wanted to.” Kat felt a lump form in her throat.

  “I’m sorry.” Sarah comforted. “I know how you feel.”

  “Honestly, I’ve never really thought about it. My life has always been about Tyler. I put all of my focus on him.”

  “But don’t you think that might be doing more harm than good?”

  “How do you mean?” Kat looked at Sarah quizzically.

  “What I mean is that you need time for you, too. Tyler needs to see his mother socialize. He needs to understand that going out with people is part of everyday life.”

  “Well, I’m not afraid to go out; I just don’t do it. I’m happy with things just the way they are.”

  Sarah refilled her glass before continuing. “And that’s okay too. But Tyler’s growing up. Eventually, he’s going to notice something is off. There’s going to be a point where you’re asked to hang out with other moms and do things other moms do because they have kids the same age as your son. You know how kids mimic their parents. If you don’t go out, he may not, either.”

  “I see your point, but he’s only five, so I think I’ve got time.” Kat smiled.

  “Yes, you do have time. Just make time for you, too. And it doesn’t have to be a date. It can be something like joining a book club or taking a class.”

  “What are you, psychic? I thought about getting involved in Tyler’s school since he’ll be starting Kindergarten in the fall.”

  “That’s it. There you go. And it may be easier said than done, but it’s really not that hard; you just need to give yourself a chance. Take that leap of faith. It worked for you before; it’ll work for you again.”

  Kat laughed. “I think you’re right. It really does get easier with time.”

  Sarah stood up. “Thanks for having me, Kat. I really enjoyed our conversation, but I do need to get going.”

  “Thanks for coming.” Kat walked her friend to the door and hugged her. “I hope we can do this again sometime soon.”

  “Oh, that reminds me! I knew there was something I wanted to ask you. Tom and I are having our annual July 4th party at our house. We’d love it if you and Tyler could come. My girls are twins and they would absolutely adore Tyler!”

  “Twins? Oh my goodness!” Kat laughed. “I don’t think Tyler and I have plans but let me get back to you on that.”

  After Sarah left, Kat thought about her conversation with Sarah. She felt inspired and decided that Sarah was right. She needed to get out more and meet new people. Daniel was one of them. She couldn’t keep living like a hermit for the rest of her
life. It wasn’t fair to her or Tyler. She decided that attending Sarah’s party just might be the best way to make new friends.

  Kat went into her bedroom where she found her purse. She unzipped it and searched for the business card Pastor Cullen had given to her. It was time to make an appointment with Dr. Sullivan.

  Chapter 15

  When Kat left the doctor’s office, she drove straight to the church. She had leftover bible school crafts that she wanted to store in the fellowship hall closet. Throughout the year, the church held various children’s activities so the extra crafts would come in handy.

  Upon entering the building, Kat smelled a foul odor. Wrinkling her nose, she walked down the hallway where she heard voices. As she turned the corner, she saw Daniel. Standing next to him was Pastor Cullen, who wore a look of despair on his tanned face.

  “Is everything okay?” Kat said to Pastor Cullen, glancing at Daniel with concern. Before Pastor Cullen could say anything, his cell phone rang. He excused himself and left Daniel and Kat alone in the hallway.

  “Hey, Kat.” Daniel forced a smile.

  “What happened?”

  “See for yourself.” Daniel said, motioning to the closet.

  Kat stepped closer to Daniel and opened the closet door. She observed the light had been left on as she leaned her head forward. It was a rather large closet, about the size of a parking spot. When she saw the sight before her, her eyes became wide and her jaw fell. Her nostrils reacted negatively to the awful smell.

  “Oh my goodness!” Kat jerked her head back and slapped a hand across her mouth.

  “Nice, huh?” Daniel sighed.

  An overhead sewage water pipe had burst, its contents spewed all over the items stored on the shelving units.

  “We were able to salvage some of this stuff.” Daniel said, referring to the sealed containers that sat on a nearby table.

  “Obviously, this is why Pastor Cullen is disturbed.”

  Daniel nodded somberly. “Those items over there are irreplaceable.” He pointed to a set of scrapbooks that lay on the top shelf against the back wall. Raw sewage continued to drip from the books onto the floor.

  Kat gasped as she looked at the saturated contents with dismay. She knew the scrapbooks contained treasured pictures of several generations of parishioners. No wonder Pastor Cullen was so upset.

  The stench was unbearable. Kat backed away from the closet and looked at Daniel. She was about to ask him what she could do to help when Pastor Cullen returned.

  “That was the plumber.” Pastor Cullen explained. “He’s on a job right now, but when he’s finished, he’ll come here.”

  “What can I do to help?” Kat offered, trying not to breathe in the foul odor.

  Daniel looked at Pastor Cullen. “I don’t think this type of clean-up is fit for a lady, wouldn’t you agree?”

  “But I—“

  “Kat, I have to say I’m in agreement with Daniel here.” Pastor Cullen held up a hand.

  Kat knew better than argue with her pastor. Instead she countered, “How about I wash out those containers? I can put the contents in the meeting room for now.”

  Before Pastor Cullen could say anything, she added, “Tyler’s at a friend’s house and I don’t have anything else going on today. Please let me help.”

  Pastor Cullen caught the look in Kat’s eye and understood the meaning behind her statement. It was her way of thanking him for listening to her that day in his office when she spilled her past to him.

  “Well now, how can you turn down an offer like that?” Daniel chimed in, winking at Kat.

  “All right, all right!” Pastor Cullen conceded, throwing both hands in the air. “But please be careful. Wear gloves, okay? I think there’s some in the kitchen.”

  “Aye aye, sir!” Kat mocked.

  Shaking his head, he smiled gratefully at Daniel and Kat. “Thank you both. What would I do without you?”

  “Hopefully, you’ll never find out.” Kat and Daniel said simultaneously. After they laughed, Pastor Cullen said he would return shortly as he wanted to go home and change into something more appropriate for cleaning. Kat called Rhonda to brief her on the situation and that she would remain at the church for a while. Rhonda informed Kat that Tyler and Eli were watching movies and that everything was fine.

  For the next three hours, Kat washed and dried containers and repacked them with items that were not affected by the water leak. Pastor Cullen and Daniel had completely emptied the closet, tossing damaged objects in the trash and transporting salvageable items outside for pressure washing.

  By this time, the plumber had arrived. He whistled when he saw the damage in the closet and nearly gagged at the foul odor.

  Kat noticed the pastor was frowning as he studied the stacks of containers Kat set on the table. “Whatcha thinking?” she asked him.

  Pastor Cullen turned to Kat and smiled. “Thank you for doing this, Kat. I truly appreciate you.”

  “You’re very welcome.”

  When Daniel joined them, he was sweating. As he set his hands on his hips, Pastor Cullen thanked him for his efforts in the clean up.

  “It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.” Daniel quipped.

  The trio laughed and chatted for a few minutes before the plumber needed Pastor Cullen’s attention.

  “Thank God this didn’t happen during vacation bible school, eh?” Daniel commented.

  “Oh gosh, can you imagine?” Kat shook her head in wonder. “It’ll take at least a week to air that closet out.”

  “Probably longer than that.” Daniel surmised. “The walls are wet. First thing we’ve got to do is wash them down, then repaint them. I don’t think we’ll need to replace the drywall.”

  When Pastor Cullen returned, Daniel asked him where he wanted to store the items Kat had cleaned.

  “Well, that’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Pastor Cullen scratched his head. “These things need to be locked up and I can’t give up one of the Sunday school classrooms.”

  Kat had an idea. “How about if I take them home and store them in my shed?”

  Pastor Cullen and Daniel stared at Kat as if she lost her mind.

  “Why not?” she persisted. “I’ve got the room.”

  “Are you sure, Kat?” Pastor Cullen asked. “That would be a big help.”

  “Positive.” Kat replied. “Under one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “That you help me load this stuff in my car.”

  After Kat’s car was packed and the trunk closed, she turned to Daniel and smiled. “Thanks for the help.”

  “It was my pleasure.” Daniel replied. “Thank you for all you did in there. I know Pastor Cullen is grateful to you.”

  Kat dismissed this with a wave of her hand. “I was happy to help. Like I said, I didn’t have anything going on this afternoon, and it was nice to do something for someone else.”

  “It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?” Daniel said, raising his face toward the sky. It was late afternoon and the clouds were rolling in.

  “It looks like we’re going to get that storm after all.” Kat commented.

  Daniel’s eyes met Kat and he smiled warmly at her. “If I’m not overstepping here, I’d like to help you put all that stuff in your shed.”

  Kat was about to object but remembered what Sarah had told her. She truly liked Daniel and felt very comfortable around him. It was time for her to stop shutting people out of her life. It was time for her to start trusting people again. Besides, she promised Pastor Cullen she would help secure the items in her car and she didn’t want to let him down.

  “I would love the help.” Kat grinned. “Some of these are very heavy.”

  “I know, which is why I’ll be glad to hold the door for you.”

  “Hey!” Kat attempted to swat Daniel but he ducked out of the way, pretending to cower.

  After their laughter subsided, Daniel fished the keys to his truck out of his jeans pocket. “I’ll foll
ow you home, okay?” You don’t want me stinking up your car.”

  Kat quipped, “You could sit on the roof while I drive. You’ll air out in no time!”

  When Kat and Daniel reached her house, Kat told him that she was going to get Tyler from across the street but that she would be right back.

  “I’ll start unloading.”

  Kat returned a few minutes later with Tyler. When Tyler saw Daniel, he squealed and ran up to him.

  “Hi, Mr. Daniel!”

  “Hey, tiny man!” Daniel squatted and held up a hand and Tyler high-fived it, the same way they did at vacation bible school.

  “How come you came over?” Tyler inquired, a big grin spread across his face.

  “I came over to help your mother and to see you.” He lightly poked Tyler’s nose.

  Laughing, Tyler looked at the stack of containers Daniel had set on the driveway. “What are those?”

  “Those are some things from the Church that we’re going to keep for a while, honey.” Kat explained. “Pastor Cullen needed a place to put all of this stuff and I told him I would put them in our shed.”

  “Oh.” Tyler frowned, as if trying to understand. “That’s a good idea, Mommy.”

  Kat tousled her son’s hair. “Did you have a good time today?”

  “Yes! We watched The Three Musketeers and Curious George!”

  “Oh boy!” Kat exclaimed. “Were you on your best behavior for Miss Rhonda?”

  “Yes, I was.”

  Kat explained to Daniel that Rhonda lived across the street and that she often watched Tyler when she needed her to. She told him how the boys were inseparable and that sometimes she felt like she was a mother of two.

  Daniel laughed. “I can only imagine.”

  “Okay, kiddo.” Kat said. “Mr. Daniel and I need to put this stuff in the shed before the rain comes, so I need you to stand out of the way, okay?”

  “But I want to help!”

  “Tell you what, tiny man.” Daniel countered. “How about if you hold the door for us while we carry this stuff in?”

  “Okay!” Tyler clapped his hands.

  Kat looked at Daniel and mouthed, “Thank you.” He winked at her.