She Never Knew

by CJ Simpson

  Daniel was reminded of a time when he was a camp counselor and a child close to Tyler’s age had run away. He was amazed at how his superiors remained calm throughout the entire ordeal, delegating search responsibilities to various team leaders. In the end, the child was found safe and unharmed. She had gone on a treasure hunt with her group the day before and enjoyed it so much that she wanted to go again. Only this time, she went by herself and had gotten lost. Looking back now, Daniel remembered how crucial it was to remain calm and to have a plan of action.

  “Okay, here’s what needs to happen.” Daniel held Kat’s hands and locked eyes with her. “First thing is that we both stay calm, no matter what.” When Kat bobbed her head, he continued. “Second thing is we split up. “You go back inside and see if you find anything missing, like his favorite toy or food from the fridge. I’ll do a quick search around the block, okay?”

  Kat turned and ran back into her house. She bounded up both flights of stairs and when she reached Tyler’s room, she immediately recognized that Froggy was missing. He would never leave him, she thought. Quickly scanning her son’s bedroom, she searched for anything that would provide her with a clue as to his whereabouts.

  Kat noticed Tyler’s backpack was missing. He liked to hang it on the back of his chair but she checked the closet anyway. She glanced at Tyler’s desk again and realized something else was missing. The toy car from William!

  As she stood there, it finally dawned on Kat why Tyler ran away. The more she thought about their conversation from the night before, the more his actions began to make sense to her.

  She guessed that her son may have misunderstood the friendly hug Daniel had given her. It was possible that Tyler believed Daniel took William away from her, and as a result, went to find him.

  Oh God, she hoped Tyler didn’t try to ride his bike all the way to Harbour Sound! Berating herself, she doubled back to the garage to look for Daniel. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed a man in her front yard carrying a little boy.

  It was Daniel. He had found her baby!

  Kat ran as fast as her legs would allow. When she reached them, Tyler was asleep, his head resting against Daniel’s shoulder. He smiled when he saw the look of relief wash over Kat’s face.

  “I found him at the pavilion.” Daniel continued to hold Tyler as Kat gently stroked her little boy’s face. When he opened his eyes and saw his mother, he reached for her.

  Kat took him in her arms and held him tightly, patting his hair and rubbing his back. She gave Daniel a tender look and whispered, “Thank you.”

  “Mommy, are you angry with me?”

  “Oh, honey, no!” She gave him a light squeeze. “But I was really, really worried about you.” She set him down and squatted next to him. “I thought you ran away.”

  “I wasn’t trying to run away. I was trying to find William.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Kat pulled him close to her. “But you didn’t find him, did you?” she said softly. Tyler shook his head.

  Daniel said, “I found him on the bench sound asleep.”

  Tyler looked at Daniel warily, unsure of what his intentions toward his mother were. Then he said, “How did you know where I was?”

  Daniel squatted down next to him. “Do you remember vacation bible school?” When Tyler nodded, Daniel went on. “Well, your mom had told me all about you and how much you love to ride bikes together. So, I thought I would go down there to see if you were there. And sure enough, there you were.”

  Satisfied with Daniel’s explanation, Tyler yawned. “Mommy, I’m tired.”

  Kat and Daniel laughed. “Okay, let’s get you inside.” She said, picking up Tyler and cradling him in her arms. She would talk to him later about the dangers of leaving the house on his own. She would also clarify any misunderstandings he may have toward Daniel. Kat didn’t want Tyler blaming Daniel for something that was out of his control. Cocking her head, she motioned for Daniel to join her in the house.

  After Tyler was settled in his bed, Kat closed the door to his room and joined Daniel in the kitchen. “I can’t thank you enough,” she said, smiling at him. She extended an arm toward the kitchen table and offered him a seat. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, I’m okay. But thank you, anyway.” Daniel walked behind the kitchen table and admired the waterfront view of Kat’s backyard through the window. A small bird had landed on a feeder and began to peck away at the seeds that had spilled out.

  “It’s a pretty place you got here, Kat.” Daniel commented. There was a look of contentment on his face as he watched the little chickadee eat its meal.

  “Thanks.” As they watched the little bird feast, Kat suddenly felt overwhelmed. When Daniel saw tears pop from Kat’s eyes, he took her in his arms. He held her close, rubbing her back the way she had with Tyler a few moments ago.

  “It’s okay.” Daniel soothed, playing with Kat’s hair. “Your boy is where he belongs, home and safe.”

  Kat sniffled, trying to keep it together. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to him.” She clutched Daniel’s shirt as her voice quavered. “He’s all I’ve got!”

  They stood there holding each other for a long time. When the chickadee finally flew away, Kat and Daniel stood apart. They joined hands as if it were the most natural thing to do. “It’s my fault he ran away. I’m to blame for this.”

  “Kat, you have nothing to be sorry about.” Daniel countered, cupping her chin. “You’re a wonderful mother to that little boy and he is very lucky to have you.” He looked intently at her and she sensed how much he cared about her.

  “I think we’re the lucky ones, Daniel.” Kat whispered softly, returning his gaze. She thought he had the nicest eyes she had ever seen. They were full of kindness and warmth.

  “Would you like to be left alone?” He wasn’t sure what else he could do for her, but he didn’t want to impose, either. She probably wanted her privacy now that her son was safely home.

  “Actually, I would like for you to stay.” She searched his face, hopeful that he wouldn’t leave.

  “Okay.” Daniel said, pleasantly surprised. “I’m going to get Tyler’s bike. It’s in the back of the pickup—where would you like me to put it?”

  “In the garage—I’ll go with you.”

  After the bike was returned to the garage and Kat and Daniel were back inside her living room, she once again offered Daniel something to drink. When he declined, they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

  Kat felt so relaxed around Daniel. She didn’t know what it was about him that made her feel this way, but she was grateful for it. Daniel spoke first, explaining what happened when he found Tyler on the bench. He had woken him and after checking to make sure he wasn’t hurt, he told him that he would take him home. At first, the child seemed reluctant, but when Daniel told him that his mother was very sad, he agreed to return home.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, do you have any idea what prompted this little excursion?”

  Kat looked at her friend sheepishly. “Yes, I do.” She shared with Daniel her earlier thoughts about why Tyler took off. Kat described the conversation she had had with her son the night before. She explained how this morning she came to understand Tyler’s confusion toward Daniel, that Tyler thought he was the reason why she would never see William again. She told Daniel that she believed Tyler misunderstood the hug he gave her the night before as a sign of something other than friendship.

  Daniel listened carefully to every word Kat said, nodding slowly. He then looked at her with regret. “I’m sorry for my role in this. I didn’t think about how Tyler would react to that hug I gave you.”

  Kat shook her head. “I’m not blaming you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She reached for his hand and held it in hers.

  “Daniel, you have been so incredibly kind to Tyler, and to me.” She paused, looking down at their joined hands. It was such a natural feeling and it was obvious to her that Daniel felt t
he same way.

  “I’ll always be here for you, Kat.” Daniel gazed at her. “I hope you know that.”

  She felt the tears resurfacing. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Daniel and saw that he was staring at her intently. Inching closer to him, she took his hands in her own and told him her story.

  For the next two hours, Kat poured out her heart and soul to Daniel. She told him about Michael, her parents, the pain of losing them, her estrangement with Mary, her renewed interest in meeting new people, including William, and finally, the rape. She revealed how her conversation with Pastor Cullen allowed her to consider someday telling Tyler the truth about his biological father. She talked about the wonderful time she had at Sarah’s party and how good it felt to make new friends. She told him about how she met William and the afternoon they’d shared with Tyler. She concluded by describing her visit to the hospital but that she had arrived too late. She had unashamedly spilled all of her hopes and fears to him and by the time she was finished, she had fallen asleep in Daniel’s arms.

  As he held the extraordinary woman close to his heart, Daniel wondered in amazement how Kat did it. How much pain can a person endure? How did she survive one trauma after another?

  That afternoon, an inexplicable bond had formed between Kat and Daniel, one that was unbreakable and would forever join them in the many years to come.

  Chapter 26

  Her cell phone rang. Thinking it was probably another annoying sales call, Kat was about to press the ignore button when the caller ID revealed a familiar phone number. She took a deep breath before she answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Kat. It’s Mary.”

  Kat gasped, astonished at how easily she recognized her sister’s voice on the other end. Mary must’ve gotten her letter and wanted to talk to her!

  “Kat? Are you there?”

  “Yes, I—I’m here. Is it really you?” Kat began to cry. Mary’s voice sounded so wonderful. Kat had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

  “It’s really me.” Mary replied. “Are you all right?”

  “Oh, gosh! Yes, I’m all right.” Kat attempted to laugh, but her throat caught. “It’s so good to hear your voice!”

  “Am I calling at a bad time?”

  “Uh, no—not at all. I just had a little scare with Tyler this morning.”

  “Is he all right?”

  “He’s fine. At first I thought he ran away but it turned out he went to look for someone.” Kat proceeded to tell her what had transpired with Tyler, and how Daniel found him. She didn’t go into detail that Daniel was more than a friend, just that she knew him from church.

  “I’m so sorry, Kat.” Mary said quietly. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”

  Kat tried to maintain her composure but Mary could hear her sister wheezing in the background.

  “Would you like me to call you back?”

  “No! I’ll be fine.” Kat protested, her voice shaky. “I just need a second to get my bearings.”

  “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere this time.”

  Kat laughed. “Now that is good news!”

  “Kat, I’ve been a fool all these years. I never should’ve blamed you for Mom and Dad’s deaths. It wasn’t your fault. I’ve always known that, but at the time I was looking for somebody to blame.”

  “I pretty much figured that out.”

  “I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong. I didn’t want to face the reality that I would never see them again. When the funeral was over, I almost didn’t go to the luncheon because I really didn’t want to be around anybody, not just you. I ended up driving around for a while first.”

  “That’s understandable,” Kat replied. “I went to Mom and Dad’s house because I figured my presence at the luncheon would upset everybody, especially you.”

  “Aunt Barbara mentioned something about that.” Mary paused before continuing. “She was pretty upset about the whole thing and I think she didn’t know how to deal with it, either.”

  “I keep thinking if I hadn’t made the suggestion to extend our vacation in Arizona—”

  “—No, don’t go there, Kat.” Mary interrupted. “It was not your fault, no matter what. We all know it wasn’t your fault. The accident could’ve happened anywhere. Please don’t blame yourself anymore.”

  “We may have to disagree on that one,” Kat countered. “But I have come to terms with it.”

  Mary sighed. “I can’t begin to imagine how much of a toll this has taken on you. You lost your fiancé as well, and none of us took that into consideration. We were so focused on Mom and Dad that nothing else mattered.”

  “It was—it was a very hard time, that’s for sure.”

  Mary had a feeling that Kat was referring to the rape, but she didn’t mention it. Now wasn’t the time. When Kat was ready to talk about it, she would be there to listen.

  “Michael sounded like a wonderful man. I wish I could’ve met him.”

  “He was a wonderful man. I think you were at a medical conference when we came up to see Mom and Dad that year.”

  “You’re right, I had forgotten about that.” Mary agreed. “I do remember Mom and Dad raving about him. He was like the son they never had.”

  Kat laughed. “Michael felt the same way about them. He was an orphan since birth, so I think Mom and Dad had a very special place in his heart.”

  “He didn’t have any family members that you knew of?”

  “Unfortunately, none. But he never complained to me about his childhood. I do remember him telling me that he never lived in a foster home.”

  “Really? I didn’t that was possible these days. Of course, back then, things were different.”

  “Perhaps the orphanage loved him so much; they didn’t want him to leave.” Kat joked. “Despite his background, he always had a sense of stability about him.”

  “That could very well be why. He wasn’t shuffled around from foster home to foster home.”

  “Not to change the subject, but how are Aunt Barbara and Uncle Chucky?” Kat asked. “The last time I heard from Aunt Barbara was when she sent me Mom’s old china set.”

  “Aunt Barbara died about four years ago.” Mary said, softly.

  “She did? Why? What happened?”

  “She had ovarian cancer. It was a few months after the funeral that Aunt Barbara wasn’t feeling well. She was complaining of abdominal pain and when she went to the doctor, they found out she had numerous cysts.”

  Kat couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Aunt Barbara was pretty young, in her 50s, and was always a vibrant woman. It didn’t seem possible that she was gone, too.

  Mary went on. “Apparently, she knew she had cysts. From what she told me, the doctors took samples and had them tested.”

  “And that’s when they found out?”

  “Actually, no. The tissue samples came back benign. But a year later when she went for her annual checkup, the doctors told her they found additional cysts and wanted to take more samples.”

  “So she had the procedure done again?” Kat assumed.

  “She didn’t. She firmly believed those results would be benign as well. Unfortunately, she started having more pains and by then, the cysts had metastasized. It was a bit more complicated than that, but by then, it was too late for her. She also refused to undergo chemotherapy or radiation.”

  “Wow.” Kat was taken aback by what Mary relayed to her. “It doesn’t seem like her, but then again, I haven’t seen her in a long time.”

  “I know, I was pretty shocked too.” Mary agreed. “But she didn’t want to fight the cancer or be a burden to her family.”

  “What about her husband and kids? Where are they now?”

  “Uncle Gerry remarried but still lives in the area. Their kids were already grown when we were still living in Mom and Dad’s house. I think the younger one graduated from college when you began high school. Anyway, he’s been living in Maine for quite some time now.
The other one lives in Seattle.”

  “What about Uncle Chucky?”

  “He retired a little over a year ago and moved to Florida. He’s doing well, but as you know, he was never one to socialize much.” Uncle Chucky never married and had no children. He was considered the black sheep of the family and kept to himself.

  “It’s got to be hard on him since he’s the only sibling left.”

  “He seemed to handle it well.” Mary explained. “He acted pretty much the same way he did at Mom and Dad’s funeral. He was sad, but okay.”

  “And since Dad was an only child, all that was left was a bunch of cousins.” Kat surmised. “Do you ever keep in touch with any of them? I know that growing up, we didn’t have a chance to see much of them because they live in other states.”

  “True. To be honest, I haven’t made an effort to keep in touch other than through Christmas cards. My practice has been doing very well and I’m in the process of expanding.”

  “Oh Mary, that’s wonderful!” Kat exclaimed. “Are you moving into your own office now?” Kat recalled that Mary was contracted by hospitals and schools to administer counseling to children who were affected by various types of trauma.

  “Actually, I’ve had my own office. It’s one of those rental spaces you see in a strip mall. There’s been an increase in demand for services over the last few years and our location no longer meets the needs of our clients, so I decided to take the plunge and start construction on a new building in an industrial area not far from my house.”

  “Wow, that’s terrific!”

  “Thank you. I’ll have a partner as well, so we’ll be sharing the new space. Hopefully, together we’ll make a difference for these kids who really need help.”

  “I assume this is someone you work with?”

  “Yes, Norman Jenkins from the hospital. He specializes in the older children, mainly troubled youth. We’ve been talking about going into practice for quite some time now, and now we’re actually doing it. We’re meeting with the architect next week.”