“What if we are wrong though? What if…”
“What if you aren’t?” She smiled and I saw Grammy in her eyes.
“You look just like your grandmother right now.”
She smiled again, accepting the compliment.
“I would never in a million years have thought I would be pulling for Cash, or telling you to take the risk… but I see the change and I don't think he is going back. Sometimes God has this grand plan and knows exactly what is in the cards, and with Cash and you, I believe that is the case.”
“I know love is a risk, no doubt. Am I just supposed to forget everything he did to me? Our past?”
“Actually, yep, that is exactly what you are supposed to do. Take the risk or don’t, but you do need to decide. I personally would love for you two to be happy ever after. But I also know that isn't always the case.”
“From the minute I met Cash I fell for him, but he also has put me through the biggest heartaches. And I can’t have my baby go through that.”
Wyatt had walked into the door at that exact time. “Y’all’s baby.”
I froze, shocked, looking at him, then Olivia, then Breigh.
“You’re right. Our baby. It is time I act that way.”
All the changes that Cash had made took effort, took time, and took commitment. I couldn’t honestly say I would have done the same for him if I were put into his shoes.
I should at the very least see what he said about Maddy instead of running from him like a child. This woman had assisted Cash in stabbing me in the heart and I deserved to know why.
After all, I was taking her word, as if she was trustworthy. I was letting her steal my happiness…
It was time I took the leap of faith.
Take a deep breath, Emma. You got this. The man is in love with you, chill out. My heart was beating so hard, along with my baby doing flips in my stomach; I thought I was going to vomit.
I turned off my Mercedes, rubbing on a little Chapstick before rounding the front of my car. I pulled on my maternity dress just a smidge to loosen it. I hated these damn clothes. Everything was miserably uncomfortable right now, and I wished it were acceptable to walk around in a muumuu. If it was, I would. I hadn’t been able to fit my feet in a pair of heels in weeks and that in itself was depressing as all get out.
I walked to the staircase to make my way up when I ran straight into another person.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention,” I immediately said, frustrated that my head was all over the place. I lifted my head to see the last person on earth I would have ever thought.
Maddy.
“It’s okay.” She looked down at my belly and her eyes got as big as saucers. “I was just leaving.”
She gave me a wicked smile and acted like she was fixing her jeans before walking off. She was wearing heels and had her perfect shaped body that made me wanna slap her.
“Were you at Cash’s?” I asked with a louder voice, so she could hear me as she was dismissing me.
Maddy turned around and winked at me. She didn’t confirm nor deny but she smiled with a wink then dipped into her car.
I stood there feeling faint, trying to get my bearings and not pass out. I was pretty sure a pregnant woman hitting the ground would be detrimental to a baby.
I grabbed my stomach, holding right under the hump, where all the pressure seemed to weigh in.
“I’m sorry, baby. You will always have your mama. I promise.”
I refused to let myself cry until I was in my car, but as soon as I got in, a let the tropical storm commence.
Today my day was booked solid and I had little time to use the bathroom much less deal with my personal life or lack thereof.
Why did I have to run into that woman again?
I had stopped trying to figure things out, and let God take control. It was time for me to attempt to let him take the wheel and let myself stop trying to change things I had no control over.
After relenting and deciding I was going to let Cash in, so we could be a family, then getting my heart pulled out of my chest, I was defeated. I had to ask myself if this was a joke, a complete array of mess-ups.
The worse part of it was I had no more tears to cry. Not for Cash.
My body ached from the pregnancy, my breasts were killing me, and had now developed into a size that made me miserable, and my feet, we aren’t even going there.
“Ms. Gray, you have someone waiting to see you.”
“Donna, not today. I’m not expecting anyone and don’t have the time. Who is it?” I ask irritated, still typing away on my keyboard not even looking up.
“Cash Galloway.”
I laid my forehead on my desk with irritation. I had no intention of dealing with this right now. He had no idea I had been confronted by the woman who crushed my soul.
Done.
I tried to do the right thing, and got slapped in the face.
I was a coward today, and although I knew I was being childish, I couldn't just rush out to him and act like everything was okay. He wasn't aware of what had happened but yet he was to blame. His actions had consequences.
I cleared my throat, “Donna, please tell Mr. Galloway I have no time today.” And I didn’t want to hear whatever his excuse might be. Nope. I wasn’t confronting him because at this point it didn't matter.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Then a beep followed. “Ms. Gray, he said he has to see you right now.”
“If he wants to wait until I finish this proposal I will see him, but that could be a while.”
Two seconds after I sent my message over, Donna replied, “He said he will wait.”
“Very well.” I rolled my eyes. “Please inform him it could be a while.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I got back to work, struggling to concentrate, struggling to keep my mind off of Cash, and struggling to stick to what I said when really my heart was telling me to run to him.
I placed my hand on my belly and rubbed as our baby moved around my tight stomach. I couldn't worry about me right now, my feelings or hurt. I was doing the right thing for my baby.
CASH
My blood pressure had to be through the roof, my leg shaking at a rapid rate with frustration. What in the hell is going on?
The last conversation Emma and I had was great, and I felt we had made it to a spot that showed we were figuring it all out. Wyatt had called me, asking how it went with Emma coming over, but when she hadn’t showed I got worried. He assumed she had just changed her mind and Breigh said to let it be for now.
I kept looking at her office door and then back to Donna, her admin. I had checked my phone more times than I cared to admit, seeing if she had messaged me explaining her resistance to see me.
The old Cash wouldn't have stayed waiting, or cared. He wouldn't have worried what the cause of the upset was, and wondered if he would be able to solve it. But the new Cash was eaten up with fear.
I wanted to barge through the door and demand her attention, for her to listen to me, to reason.
I had called into work, but knew I was going to miss my classes at the academy this evening. Hell, I wasn't even sure how I was going to focus tonight, and it was a big night. In four weeks, I would be graduating and I had planned on inviting Emma to see it. I had hoped that night would be the start of our new beginning and joining as one, preparing for the baby. I wanted to ask her to be my wife.
I had been waiting two hours, when finally I heard Emma’s voice on the intercom telling Donna to let me her office.
I stood up immediately and waved to her saying she didn't need to escort me.
“Thank God.”
I barged into her office, ready to grab her and kiss whatever doubt was arising out of her mind.
The look on her face when I walked in I was not the least bit prepared for. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and her hair pulled into a ponytail. She had clearly been crying, and I hated that I could have caused this. I might hav
e been able to make her cry before and not cared, but now it felt like a part of me.
She was a part of me.
She was leaning slightly in her chair, holding her belly. She didn't seem amused at the very least.
“Hi, Cash.” She smiled painfully.
“Baby, what is going on? Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m shocked you honestly can stand here in my office and ask me that.”
“I honestly have no idea what you are talking about. I thought things were great between us?”
“Were.”
“What changed?”
“You have this whole playing stupid down good, don't you? Not sure why I am shocked as you've had plenty of time practicing now, haven't you?”
I had enough. I moved toward her, behind the desk she was using as armor to keep us separated.
As I moved close, her tears started to fall from her eyes, and she almost seemed panicky. “Don’t come back here.”
I ignored her and went to her, taking her in my arms. I leaned down to her, and she hung her head so I couldn't see her in pain.
I kissed her head, letting her break down before saying anything. She needed to know I was there attempting to solved what was hurting her so badly.
When her crying slowed, I lightly tilted her chin up.
“Did I do something?” I leaned back to see what she was going to say but not far enough to give her space.
“I had decided after the last time we talked that the time and space wasn’t needed anymore. I was at Breigh and Wyatt’s and decided to come to your place. That I wanted us to be mom and dad, and be together. Not only because of the baby, but because you are the better man I knew you could be.”
I felt the tears fill my eyes. I had waited to hear those words, more than anything.
“So I didn't want to spend another night away from you. I came to your apartment. Outside of your apartment though I ran into Maddy. She was just leaving your place.”
“Bullshit!” I spit out, with my body confused on the sudden switch in emotions. Emma jumped at the voice change.
“Why would you believe her? Without even asking me?”
“She was pretty convincing. Look, Cash, you’ve said all that before.”
“This isn't before.”
“All the things I have done to prove to you that I have changed, and showed how I have changed. I am not the same man I was when we first met.”
She studied me but didn't respond.
“What have I got to do to prove that to you?”
I pulled out my phone and immediately dialed her number. It was no longer saved in my phone but I had called her enough to know what it was.
She picked up immediately and I tried to contain myself, rather than blurting out that she was a lying bitch trying to ruin what I wanted so badly, all because she wanted me.
“Maddy, I need you to tell Emma, right now, that you are a lying bitch,” I demanded with a growl mad.
“The hell I will,” Maddy said.
Emma heard her say it and looked at me confused but not shocked.
“Maddy, we have only met that one night at Blue’s when I said we were over. I have not seen you since and you know it.”
The line goes quiet for a minute. “Maddy, are you there?”
I looked over at Emma who was losing her patience. I fought the urge to lean in and kiss her, wipe her tears, and throw my phone against the wall. But I knew this had to be done and Emma had to hear it.
“Why not me?” Maddy said. “We have had a great thing going for how long? I have done everything you wanted to, was fine with no commitment, treated you damn good, and then Emma comes along and you drop me.”
I leaned up against Emma’s desk with my ass and rubbed my forehead with one hand, while holding the phone with the other.
I realized she was doing this to get back at me, she was jealous. I had never felt that feeling until I saw Emma with the other guys.
“It is nothing against you, Maddy. We were on the same page, just having a good time when I was in Houston, and then when I moved here at first, but I’m going to just come out and be honest here…I have loved Emma for a long time, but I didn't let myself believe it.”
“So you used me?” She said, and I heard the hurt in her voice.
“Yes, sadly I did. Just like you used me. We were a good time for each other, but I had never given you any thoughts or hopes for a future, nor did you with me, which is why we worked so well together. Now, I am asking you, one more time, please tell Emma that we are not involved still. I am begging you, because if you don't, this lie you have spoken is going to hurt a lot more than just me and Emma.”
I put the phone on speakerphone and asked if she was still there. Maddy responded and cleared her throat.
“Emma, I am sorry I lied. I had hoped that Cash would come around after he called it off, he would miss me, and come back to me. He is telling the truth, we haven't seen each other since that night at Blue’s.”
Emma sat up to lean toward my phone and I moved over so she could, “Why were you at his apartment then?”
“Pathetically, I’ve gone there a few times. I was hoping to run into him.”
I wanted to scream I was innocent. The verdict was in.
Emma spoke up, “I’m sorry that Cash hurt you, but he has hurt me too.”
Maddy began to talk and I grabbed the phone up from the desk, pushing off speakerphone. I cut her off, telling her I needed to go, and thanking her for clearing that up for me. She apologized one more time and then I hung up, not needing to hear anything else she was going to try to say.
Emma stood up and reached for a hug. I held her and I took a breath, breathing in her hair scent. I kissed her lightly and stroked her hair.
“I wish you would have believed me without me having to call her.”
“I wish I could have too.”
“You know I can’t pay for all my mistakes for the rest of our lives, don't you? There is going to have to be a point that you trust me.”
“I know.”
The baby began to move and I got to feel it for the first time. I stepped back to touch her belly and smiled.
“The baby has been moving a lot today.”
“Maybe it knows we are about to finally figure everything out.”
“All I want to do is make you and our baby happy.”
I sealed that with a kiss.
28
CASH
I had walked into Maxwell’s hoping that her father, Mr. Gray, wouldn’t be there yet, and I would still have some time to get my nerves calmed. I was a nervous wreck standing face-to-face with the man who loved Emma more than anything. I was dressed like I was going for a job interview, hoping he would answer yes, without hesitation.
But Mr. Gray was already there, with a cup of coffee, reading a paper, and seemingly calm.
I walked up with a nervous grin on my face. “Mr. Gray.”
“Yes.” He looked up and put down his newspaper. “I got here a little early.”
“I’m going to go and order me a coffee, can I get you anything else?”
“Another coffee black would be great.”
After a quick few minutes, I was at the table again, feeling I needed to say what I came to say before I burst. I had never really respected another man, and Mr. Gray was certainly someone I respected. He had raised Emma, and raised her well.
“Although I do love to get out of the house for coffee, I am curious as to our little meeting.”
“Yes, sir…I bet you are.”
Our coffee was set in front of us by a waitress and I took a sip then cleared my throat.
“I invited you here because I want to ask Emma…”
“My little girl…” he said in an intimidating manner.
“To marry me.”
He sat back in his chair and starred at me, thinking over the words I had muttered.
I watched him to see what his mannerisms were, and to see if I could predict
what he was going to say. I failed at that though.
“Does Emma know you are here?
“No…”
“Why?”
“I wanted to get your permission first.”
“I see, so if I was to say no, you won’t ask her?
Was this a trick? I wasn't sure how I was going to answer that.
“I honestly haven't thought about it yet. I would hope your answer wouldn’t be no.”
Mr. Gray fixed his circular glasses and rearranged himself in his chair, then propped one leg up on his knee, with his hand on the temple. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a golf shirt the color of University of Texas with a longhorn in the right corner. Aunt Rhonda also was a fan of Longhorn football.
“My family has always been close. I have always been a papa bear, which annoyed the girls but they understood it as they got older…” He seemed to get lost in thought for a minute and then smiled. “We are very open, and I’m not naïve enough to think my daughters are innocent. I know they aren't. But I do know you have hurt my Emma quite a few times.”
“That is without a doubt the truth. I have. I was dishonest, and ran away like a coward, a man who couldn't commit but that is not who I am now.”
“What changed then, if you don't mind me asking?”
“My entire life. I know you probably know about what happened with my father and his company, how that affected all of us in the company, and my family. It was a huge wake-up call for me, and I saw myself in the mirror and didn't like my reflection.”
“I see.”
I looked down at my coffee cup, unsure that I was saying the right things to persuade him to give me his blessing.
“Sir, I have decided to be the man I know I can be. And I’m getting there. I don't want to live the life I had in my past. I want to be a married man, and I want to be married to Emma. I want to take care of her and our baby.”
“Don't take offense in my comment here, but Emma doesn't need you to take care of her. She knows how to do that herself.”
“And that is one of the things I love about her. Just one of a million. Her independence, her intelligence, I could go on and on.”
Our Season (Lifetime Love Series) Page 15