“So could I,” Mr. Gray said.
“I will not say yes or no, but I will say if Emma says yes, then I will one-hundred-percent support you both, the marriage, and your family. And I will give you my blessing.”
I took a deep breath in relief.
“I won’t let you down, sir. Or Emma.”
“Although I maybe shouldn’t believe you, I do.”
“Do you mind if I ask why?” I said it without thinking, and wished I could take it back after it was in the air.
“Have you never had anyone tell you that they believe in you before?”
“No.”
“That’s a damn shame, Cash. Emma is a forgiver, and a person who loves with all her heart. Don’t make her forgive you again…and let me just be clear, I don't forgive when someone hurts my daughter, but now you will be hurting my grandbaby too.”
“You won’t have to forgive me for anything.”
“That is just what I needed to hear.”
29
EMMA
“I love this idea. I wanted Cash to be a part of getting ready for the baby,” I said excitedly.
Instead of the normal baby shower party with women only, we did a family event. My one request was fried chicken, and lots of it. It was my biggest craving right now, other than pickles and ice cream but I promised only to eat that in private. Apparently it disgusts people. Who knew?
Cash sat beside me handing me gifts to open, with Breigh on my other side noting what was gifted and by whom.
I had planned on buying whatever we needed but Breigh and my mother insisted that we have a baby shower. It was part of the fun, getting different things that parents swore by.
The main things we needed were already purchased by my mother and Cash’s: the baby swing, the crib, the carrier, and stroller. I didn’t know if they were more excited about us becoming parents or them becoming grandparents.
Cash and I had been spending more nights together than not. We talked a lot before going to bed at night talking about our baby, the things we were excited to see, and then the things we are scared about. Me being that I’d screw it all up, that our baby would need something and I wouldn’t know what. Failure. Failure scared me.
For him, being like his father. He didn't want to do anything to ever make our child feel like his father made him feel, or Wyatt, for that matter. He taught us what we didn't want to carry on to our own children.
The next present was passed to us and I opened it and laughed. Cash looked at it like he didn't have a clue what it was supposed to be for.
Breigh laughed, “Wyatt had that exact expression on his face when he saw a breast pump.”
“It’s true,” he chimed in.
“As long as I don't have to do it, I’m good,” Cash said with uncertainty.
“No, honey, you won’t have to use it.”
I continued rubbing my belly and loving the movement today. It was as if the baby knew we were all here for it.
Actually a boy. Cash didn't know yet, but I did. I found out at my five-month appointment and have kept it to myself, well other than my mother and Breigh. They were sworn to secrecy. Everything we requested was gender neutral. I felt like we should know first.
I planned to tell him tonight. I was excited and nervous at the same time.
Cash had put the crib together in my spare room where I had begun sitting. My father had brought over the rocking chair my mother used when she had me and my sister, and my grandmother had with her children. It was beautiful wood that I wished had a voice. If it did, I would love to hear how many children it rocked and calmed. How many children it soothed, as well as with the parents who rocked their babies. It warmed my heart thinking of it.
We saved Grammy’s present for the last, a crocheted blanket in beautiful pastel colors. Tears flowed from all of us, so blessed to have a piece of her work. A part of her that would be with us forever.
CASH
“Cash, can you bring me the chocolate tonight, with a side of pickles, instead of vanilla?”
“Yes, baby.”
I would be so glad when this part of her pregnancy was over. I had to hold my breath half the time when she was eating the different things she was eating. I only hoped the baby didn't crave this crap.
“Your face was speechless today with that breast pump.” She laughed at me, then took a big spoonful of her ice cream.
“Ha. Ha.” Everyone was amused at the party today.
I got onto my side of the bed and propped myself up next to her.
“Tomorrow I want to finish the rest of the nursery. I figured I could hang the picture of the highland cow in the middle, above the rocker of your mom’s.”
“Love that idea. I also want to get a couple pictures that we took today printed and frame them for the wall.”
“Okay.”
“Cash… do you want to know what we are having? Then maybe we can start thinking about names…”
“Wait… you know?”
“Yes, I know. I wasn't going to find out but the ultrasound lady told me by accident. Then of course I told Breigh and my mother.”
I continued looking at her and felt guilt. “I should have been there for all of that. I wish I would have…”
“That is my fault, I should have just talked to you and…”
“Everything happened the way it was supposed to. God has a plan. Always.”
I moved to put my ear to Emma’s belly and felt a kick. “Oh my, baby.” I loved knowing I had created a living creature in my future wife’s belly.
“Okay, tell me… I wanna know.”
Emma finished chewing on her pickle and then smiled. “You sure?”
“Other than you, I have never been more sure about anything.”
“Cash… we are having a little boy.”
I smiled ear to ear and wanted to jump up and yell on the bed like a man who had just won the lottery.
I actually had.
I brought my hands to her face and held her before as I kissed Emma. “I love you, baby. I love you so much.”
“I love you.”
“And I love our little baby boy.” I leaned down to her belly and kissed it. “I love you, baby boy. I hope I can be the best daddy ever.”
30
CASH
Today was the final day I was going to see my dad before he was being moved to another jail. Wyatt was accompanying me to say goodbye as well. We weren’t being told which facility yet, not that it mattered.
It was more symbolic that anything. He was locked up and we were free.
My visits to him had been few and far between anyway. No reason to visit when you had nothing to say, right?
Plus, Mom had decided she would no longer be making visits either. Apparently more things had come to surface and she was moving on. Finally.
She had begun dating, ironically the man I worked for at the bank, the very same one who gave me the job.
I would be graduating from the academy tomorrow and I was proud to tell him about it. Frankly, I wanted to see the look in his face. Although, he had tried to train me, duplicate himself with me, he had failed.
Somehow, some way I had risen above it.
After the usual pat downs, the security walk-throughs, etc. we took our seat at the window waiting for our dad. Wyatt seemed at ease, the complete opposite of what I was feeling.
When Dad saw Wyatt and me, the look on his face wasn't a pleasant one. I was shocked he didn't turn right around and walk back behind the big metal door. Instead, he took his seat and reached for the phone with hesitation.
Wyatt took the phone first and said hi. He wanted to relay the message that Mom had decided it was the right thing to do to, not come any longer. She came because she felt she owed him after the long marriage and her two boys, but that ceased. She was washing her hands of it all.
He didn't look the least bothered and even let out an evil laugh. He didn't care. Not a shock.
“Will I have money on my com
missary still?” That was all he asked.
Wyatt handed me the phone and smirked, he wasn't going to dignify that with an answer.
My brother turned to me with all seriousness just as he handed me the phone. “Do you see this? This is exactly what you were turning into. He is worried about whether he would have money.”
Wyatt stood up and took his place a little distance from Dad and me, but not too far that he wasn't within reach.
“More good news?” Dad said with a shit-eating grin. He looked like hell and I stayed tight-lipped to keep myself from laughing. He was used to being pampered but instead was miserable.
“Actually, yes… I’m graduating tomorrow from the police academy.”
Dad started coughing like he was choking.
“That’s a joke, right?”
“Nope. I just finished.”
“I’m shocked you were man enough to hack it. Figured you wouldn’t, since you would have to actually work for something. Never been your strength.”
I started laughing. Give me a break. What a piece of crap. Why did I never see it before?
“Yes, I made it through, I actually did really good.” I paused, debating if I wanted to share more information but decided to. I was happy, and he had nothing to do with it.
“To top off your day, Dad, I wanted to tell you that Mom, your ex-wife, was able to help get people jobs and paid those you screwed who had been working for Galloway Investments. Thanks to you, many of them were out a job and couldn’t support their families.”
“How was that my problem?”
It is official, my father did not have a soul.
I didn't respond to him. “I am having a baby, and am hoping to get married.”
‘Why would you want that prison? I didn't peg you for a family man.”
My voice was getting louder than I had realized. “You are the most selfish asshole I have ever met. I pray to God I will never be as miserable as you.”
He didn't respond or show any emotions. My father was stone cold.
“I will be a great family man.”
“Highly doubt it. You are just as selfish as I am, Son.”
At that comment I threw the phone down and stood up.
“Don’t ever call me Son again. You were never a father, you were a manipulating prick who did what he needed to get where he wanted to be in life, never caring who you had to destroy. I hope you rot in here.”
I turned to Wyatt and we walked away together. Not one time did I turn around to look at him, or wonder if he was still sitting there. I wasn't going to spend anymore time worrying about him.
He may have been my father by blood but that is where it ended.
I guessed I was better knowing what the devil looked like rather than being unsure, so he couldn't sneak up on me.
It felt good to feel that maybe today I won.
31
CASH
Emma’s due date was anytime now, and I was a nervous wreck.
Today, I would be standing with a group of fellow new graduates from the Williamson County Police Academy, knowing that my life was about to start a new journey. I should be nervous about my career, but I wasn’t.
What I was nervous about was making sure I didn't screw up the relationship with Emma or screwing up being a father. I felt like one wrong move could take it all from me, and I had worked so hard to get where we were now.
After the ceremony, I had planned to propose to my future wife. I was one-hundred-percent sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
My mother, Breigh, Wyatt, Olivia, and of course Emma were supposed to be here today. I hoped I could make them proud. Hell, I hoped I could make myself proud.
I had always looked up to my little brother, and yes I see the irony in that. Making my new career choice was easy, as there was a part of me that wanted to follow in his footsteps. Now, I wanted to follow in his footsteps not only as a career, but as a man, husband, and father. I hoped I could be half as good as he was.
I shook my head to get myself back into focus, straightening my tie in the mirror, in the room with all the fellow cadets. We were all happy we had made it through the academy, although it did break us down in some ways. It was all welcome for me. All the breaking down of myself was what made me what I was today.
The sergeant called us to attention and we all stood in a perfect line, still as a statue listening to his last words of advice.
“For many of you men and women, this was a small step to where you are going to go in your career, but I want you to remember you have been through the hardest. You have proved your willingness to serve your county, to protect, and defend. When you face tough days ahead, remember you worked for this; you earned this. God’s speed.”
“Yes, Sergeant,” we all said in unison.
“File out.”
I stood in line just like I had throughout the six months and knew I was ready to put my training to work.
EMMA
I was so proud of Cash standing there in a sea of black. I picked him out instantly, his striking good looks and his posture. He was gorgeous. I knew it was an emotional day for him, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
All the family and friends were sitting in dark chairs that were perfectly spaced for their cadets. Everyone has happy, dressed in their finest, ready to see the accomplishment of their loved ones.
The ceremony began with the speech from the captain of the police force, speaking of the oath these officers would be taking. The risks and the duty. He also spoke of the responsibly of the families accepting of their spouses’ duties, the stress it entails but the honor in the same way.
The captain closed with a prayer, asking for protection over all the men in service and to be with them, blanket them in safety and wisdom.
After raising my head from prayer, I smiled looking at Cash, thinking about how excited I was for this journey for him and for us, our family.
Watching him in the uniform and his hand held at a salute, I was sure he was going to be an amazing officer.
Breigh must have noticed my excitement. “Doesn't he look great out there?”
I swallowed heard. “He sure does.”
“I don’t know if you realize how hard the academy is. Wyatt said Cash was better than he was at a lot of the different things.”
“Cash was taking it really seriously. I wish I could have been there for him more.”
She reached for my hand to hold it, knowing what I meant. The up and downs, the challenges that we have had. The misunderstandings that could have been prevented.
I felt hot, and fanned myself for a few minutes. I had worn a new maternity dress I had bought for the special occasion, and it was smothering me in the heat. I was determined to look good for the day Cash had worked so hard for.
The screams erupted and all the hats were thrown in the air. Whistles and applause filled the air almost vibrating the ground.
I tried to stand to give them an ovation, but my legs buckled under me and I fell, unable to catch myself.
“Emma!” I heard Breigh’s voice and she immediately came to my aid, on her knees trying to assess the situation.
“I’m okay.” I felt rattled, trying to figure out what had happened, if I was too hot, or what could be wrong.
I tried to sit up, but wasn’t able to.
Wyatt’s mother took Olivia’s hand and walked her away from what was happening.
“Can you get up?” Breigh asked. Wyatt had seen what was going on now, and was trying to see what he could do too.
“I can’t,” I responded. This can’t be happening, not today. Not on his graduation day. My baby, what if my baby is not okay?
Breigh was looking me up and down and I rested my hand on my belly, hoping the baby would feel my presence, my comfort.
“Wyatt…” He followed her eyes and I knew then, something was wrong.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
“What? What, Breigh?” I started to cry, kno
wing she was seeing something I couldn’t.
She leaned into me. “Everything is going to be okay. “ She pushed my hair out of my face. She had always been a mother hen, and right now was no exception.
“The baby isn't moving, Breigh. He has been moving all day but he isn't right now…”
“You are okay…” she said. But she didn't sound confident, not in the least. I knew she was trying to comfort me but not too convincingly.
I slowly tried to move to my elbows and lift myself up, and was able to. My head was spinning but I was able to hold myself up. Breigh tried to help prop me up.
The paramedics showed, just as Cash did with fear on his face.
“Emma, what happened?”
He leaned down to me and saw the same thing Breigh had. I followed his eyes and saw the blood that spotted my dress.
“How far along are you?” the paramedic said, getting to work.
“Thirty-nine weeks,” I said.
The paramedic began taking my vital signs and assessing me.
Cash wouldn't let go of my hand. “I tried to stand up to clap when you threw your hat and collapsed.”
He was listening to me, and also the paramedics, taking it all in.
“Is she going to be okay?” he asked them.
“Is my baby okay?” I asked. I wasn't concerned about me. I was worried about my baby.
“It’s heartbeat seems a little slow, so we are going to transport y’all to the hospital.”
I started to cry and Cash pulled me in.
“Don’t let anything happen to my baby… please…” I muttered.
The stretcher was brought over and I was lifted up on it. I felt the warmth between my legs, and tried to reach down when the paramedic placed my hand on my side.
The fear in Cash’s eyes scared me, and I saw them filling with tears.
Our Season (Lifetime Love Series) Page 16