Forgiving Patience

by Jennifer Simpkins

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “This…”

  His words were lost against her lips. She was pinned between her car and Jake, left to either fight him or allow him to invade her mouth. This was not a tease. This was him being greedy. She brought her hands up to protest, but her defenses went unnoticed. He braced himself up by placing his hands on the car, on either side of her, pressing his body even closer. Her body had found a welcome home nudged between his thighs. She could feel all of him behind his running shorts. If she wasn’t careful, she could get lost in his smell, his touch, and the strongest of the three—his taste. The taste of beer mixed with warmth was intoxicating.

  She had to stop her hands before they fumbled their way over his tempting head of hair. She opened her mouth enough so he could slip in and take over like a man who meant business. A man who wasn’t afraid of what he wanted. Their tongues tangled together as he let out a groan she could feel rumble in his chest.

  To her surprise, she felt strong and sexual. Something she’d never had a man, or allowed a man, to make her feel. He ran a finger down her cheek, leaving a path of heat. There was no escaping him and the feeling of need.

  The light pole above gave off a soft yellow glow, and with the help of the moon, she could see his eyes go a shade deeper. He stopped his hand on her chest, broke away from her trembling lips, and spoke softly with his lips still touching her mouth. “I can feel you.”

  There was nothing she could say in return that would’ve sounded close to what she was feeling. She was inexperienced, so instead of words, she took a ragged breath and stared into those dangerously sexy eyes, searching for more emotion…more connection.

  “The way your heart is pounding right now, mine is doing the same. With every thud, I want you even more.” His eyes brightened as if recalling something special. “Do you remember that party we were at…the one where we spent half the night talking by the fire?”

  She smiled. “Em was so excited because it was the first party she’d thrown and a lot of her boyfriend’s college friends were going to be there.” Anna remembered being so nervous that night. Even back then, she didn’t do well in large crowds where she was forced to mingle. Her solution was to drink. Looking at the man in front of her—she was still trying to decide if that was a good idea, or a bad one. “That next Monday at school, everyone was saying how it was the party of the year.”

  “It was pretty memorable,” he agreed. “It will always be one of my favorite nights—but not because I got to hang out with some college freshman, but because I got to spend it with you.” He moved beside her and leaned against the car. “Within five minutes, I knew you were something special.”

  “Was that five minutes before or after the bet you made?”

  Jake burst out laughing. “You’ve never really gotten past that part, have you?”

  In all honesty, it was never that big of a deal that Jake only waltzed up and talked to her that night because one of his friends bet him he couldn’t talk the sweet girl in school into bed. And she’d probably easily gotten past that part because not once while they were talking did he try to get her into his bed. They spent the entire night getting to know each other. He asked how long she and Em had been best friends, and she asked him endless questions about the following year’s baseball team.

  Trying to cover her smile, she said, “I just like reminding you how it really happened.”

  “Well, then,” he lightly nudged her, “let’s not forget about the two wine coolers that ended up down the front of my shirt and jeans because someone couldn’t handle their alcohol.”

  “Fair enough. We both made some mistakes.”

  “What I did wasn’t a mistake.” His deep tone had Anna turning to look up at him. “I would gladly take on another bet if it got me you. The only thing I would like to do over is the way the night ended. If I’d known it was going to take you two months to understand that I really was into you and wanted to go out on a date, I wouldn’t have let Em drag you away so easily without getting a goodnight kiss.”

  And if she hadn’t been semi-drunk at the time, she might not have been so easily pulled away. She recalled laying in her bed after Em drove her home, wondering if maybe she had lost her chance to be kissed by one of the most popular boys in school. But then the following Monday he seemed to be everywhere she was. After every class her stomach would flutter, just thinking that he might be waiting for her outside the classroom door. At the end of the day he asked if she wanted to come over and have dinner at his house. He claimed his mother made the best fried chicken—which later Anna learned was true—but because she started overthinking what dating a guy like Jake would mean, she ignored his advances. She was sure Jake was used to having occasional sex when he dated someone, and it was a hang-up for her.

  After two months of him never giving up and her desperately wanting to say yes, she agreed to a date. One double date with Em and her boyfriend led to another solo date…until it was known all over town they were indeed a couple. It was the best year-and-a-half of her life.

  His body shifted next to hers. “Why did you leave me, Anna?”

  The words cut through her. They were sharp, heavy, and full of hurt. She could not only see the pain in his expression, she could feel it. She knew that same pain all too well. He’d broken her heart and caused her to try to cover up that same hurt.

  “You left me, Jake. That night in May, you left me.” She could feel the tears starting to cloud her vision. God, why did she have to cry in front of him? The first tear fell down the cheek he’d just touched.

  She turned from him, like she had so many other times during her short two-day stay, and this time he didn’t stop her. She had to get away from him and the memories he represented. Why did he do this to her? Why did he kiss her—why did he make her feel things she’d never felt before…and why did he have to bring up the past?

  “Anna?”

  She kept her back to him. She couldn’t let him see the tears he’d caused.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She could hear him walk away, leaving behind a broken heart and a storm of emotions.

  Chapter Six

  Anna slammed the door of the small studio apartment and threw her keys and purse down on the small table closest to the front door. “Home sweet home.”

  Her newfound temper was bubbling over, bordering on hysteria. She wasn’t familiar with this new emotion. How was she supposed to handle it? Was it okay to scream and let valuable breakables fly across the room—she didn’t know the correct protocol. She’d seen many tempers flare as a child, but they seemed to stem more from hate and evil.

  Taking a much needed, calming breath, she flopped onto the small sofa centered in the middle of an area that could be considered the living room.

  Men. Who did they think they were? Egotistical, arrogant, sons of bitches. She was twenty-nine years old and a woman very capable of making her own decisions when it came to her life. Jake had no right making it sound like it was her fault she’d left Patience. If things could have been different, she would have wanted to stay. She’d dreamed of staying here and building a typical white picket-fenced family. She’d wanted to be one of those girls who lived and died in the same zip code.

  She fisted her hands before relaxing and raking them through her messy ponytail. Why couldn’t things have been uncomplicated? She’d been back for less than two whole days, and already her time had been spent either being run over by a man or arguing with a man. The whole weekend would have been a bust if it wasn’t for seeing Em and making a couple of new—at least she hoped—friends. She liked both Jesse and Georgia.

  Anna slumped back on the sofa, instantly wanting to throw her feet up on the coffee table, before noticing it didn’t look like something feet were supposed to rest on. She took a long look around the sparsely decorated beige room. A flat screen television sat in front of her, flanked by two bookcases. The kitchen was small but offered a stainless steel
stove and refrigerator, so there wasn’t much to complain about there. Frozen dinners were all she had on the menu for the coming weeks. The bed was very hotel chic with its leather headboard and heavy taupe quilt. Overall, she knew it was a step up from the childhood home she’d expected to be sleeping in. It looked very similar to the office Garrett occupied. The only negative was the overwhelming lack of color. The only splashes in sight were two pink throw pillows oddly out of place. She’d thrown them off the bed the night before, refusing to accept Garrett’s apology. Garrett seriously owed her more than a few frilly pillows to make up for his error in judgment concerning Jake and her house.

  She wished she could pinpoint exactly when everything went wrong. This was not what she had planned in her head. She was a planner; that’s what she did with everything in her life, and this was definitely not the way it was supposed to play out.

  For starters, she wasn’t supposed to see Jake this early in her trip back to town. When she first saw those charming good looks, her first response should have been to run back to her car, forsaking the apology. He was dangerous to her system.

  Why hadn’t she put up more of a fight when he grabbed her? Why did she let him touch her and bring on these sudden lapses in judgment? At least now, maybe her nightmares of the past would be replaced with a new set of dreams—dreams that were a nightmare all in themselves.

  Right now, she was supposed to be in her house, going from room to room, facing down the demons that resided there. Demons that still haunted the six-year-old girl who remained buried deep inside of her. Girl and woman both deserved freedom. She was finally ready to take control of her life, free that scared girl, and Jake was standing in her way. Whether he knew it or not, he was preventing her from being able to move on.

  Reliving the pain that was permanently attached to the house wasn’t something she was looking forward to, but it had to be done if she wanted to move on with her life back in Linden. Instead, she was sitting in a beige room, emotionally exhausted from her close encounters with Jake, and from finding out he was sleeping in her house—probably her old room.

  Nothing good could come from her seeing Jake—dancing with Jake—kissing Jake. Oh God, had she really just kissed him? She had to answer herself honestly, because what else could she do? Yes, she did kiss him. It was he who instigated it, but she had definitely kissed him back. What a moron. She no longer was safe around him.

  The thought of him inside the same walls she’d once lived in for most of her life made her feel embarrassed and surprisingly turned on at the same time. Boys had never, under any circumstances, been allowed in her room—not that she had really wanted them to be, but imagining Jake stretched out on a bed in the purple room warmed her body. What was wrong with her? She didn’t want him in that sinful room, that evil house.

  Men had never made her wet her panties. Yeah, she could appreciate them from afar, but not to the point that she was picturing them in bed…maybe sleeping butt-naked.

  Really, Anna? God—stop, no more thoughts. He was just unexpected, and it was weird to see him again.

  You are mad at him, Anna, don’t forget that. It would be smart if you’d forget all about him and stay clear of Jake Lawrence.

  Forget it, there was nothing she could do tonight about Jake stealing her house or his kissing her. What she really needed was a bath and sleep. She started stripping off her skimpy clothes, folding each piece and placing them on top of her suitcase. She walked into the bathroom that was nestled between the bedroom and kitchen and welcomed the warm breeze that filtered through the open window, bringing the scent of flowers, rain, and nature. It was comforting and very familiar.

  A clap of thunder boomed, startling her, but then caused her to laugh at how foolish she was being.

  After taking out her contacts, she jumped into the stand-up shower since there was no bathtub. She was still fuming about not being able to take an actual bath. The sunburn she’d known was coming had arrived yesterday, making it hard to stay in the shower for long. After pat-drying her sensitive skin, she slipped on a camisole and matching panties.

  She flopped down on the bed.

  The short cold shower hadn’t helped. Closing the open window and lowering the air conditioner’s thermostat hadn’t helped. Face it—she was hot, and from what she quite wasn’t sure yet. Hopefully, it had everything to do with her sunburn and the short walk at the track and nothing to do with her ex-boyfriend. She just needed to take her meds and forget all about Jake…at least for the night anyway.

  She stared at the little blue pill before she placed it on her tongue. She hated taking medication, especially the kind that takes over your body, giving you no control over your actions. But, if she wanted to sleep, the blue pill was her only hope. Tomorrow she was going to figure out a way to get him out of her house, and if she wanted to be completely honest with herself…out of her mind, too.

  To pass the hour or so it would take for her meds to cloud her mind and ease her eyes shut, she picked up a new romance novel she’d gotten at a bookstore between Linden and Patience. Her friend Liza had recommended it, saying it was hot and heavy, and to be prepared to need the touch of a man.

  Speaking of—crap. She still hadn’t emailed Liza to tell her that she was okay and not falling apart at the seams…which was a complete load of crap.

  Liza was one of the very few people who knew her past and knew why coming back to Patience was going to be difficult. She was also a therapist and as a counselor, understanding. But let’s face it—if someone hadn’t actually lived it, there was no way in hell they could completely understand the loss.

  She got out of bed to retrieve her laptop. She fired it up and started typing.

  Liza,

  Sorry I haven’t been in touch. It’s been a crazy weekend. My plans have changed a little. Instead of staying in my childhood home, I’m staying at my realtor’s apt. Sit down! Are you sitting? Brace yourself—Jake is staying at my house. Yes—Jake the rat bastard. He’s been fixing it up for some lame reason. Don’t worry. I’m already thinking of ways to get him out.

  Hope everything is good back home. Please check on Aunt Lidia and make sure she’s taking all of her meds…you know how she can be. I’ll be in touch.

  Luv ya,

  Anna

  After she was satisfied with the email, she hit send, put her laptop away, and picked up her book. It might not have been what she needed at the moment since her love life was non-existent. She needed some hot and heavy in her life, and getting it from a book was s-o-o-o much safer. Plus, the man in the book could care less that she was wearing ten-year-old glasses, no make-up, and had her wet hair piled up on her head. It was perfect.

  An hour later, before even getting to the good parts, she drifted to sleep, still in an upright position with her book resting on her chest.

  * * * *

  She heard the door creak open, and through her squinted eyes, she could see a dim light spill into her room. Her tiny heart started thumping at the trepidation of what was to come. She tried to remain still and hope for once that her pretending to be asleep would stop the devil from touching her. But just like every other time—it didn’t. The door closed behind him, shutting out all light and hope. It was only a matter of seconds now. The smell of Old Spice mixed with beer filled her small room. She should scream. Why can’t I scream?

  Anna jerked up on the bed with her heart racing. She gripped her chest, trying to force her beating heart to calm. She dropped her head on her drawn-up knees until she got her breath back. Over and over again she told herself, “It was just a dream…it was just a dream…it was just a dream.”

  * * * *

  “Ouch! Good grief, Em, be easy,” Jesse whined, her head tilted back in the groove of the styling chair.

  “Well, you’re getting your eyebrows waxed. It’s going to hurt a little. Quit being a baby and let me do my job,” Em demanded.

  “So,” Em continued while standing over Jesse, “we need to get all t
hree groomsmen and Tommy to pick up their tuxes. My cousin Melanie will get Sam, my little ring bearer’s, outfit. I’ll get Tommy to go down to Mrs. Lena’s and get his final fitting. Anna, can you deal with the groomsmen?”

  “Sure. Just let me know how to get in touch with them,” Anna answered.

  “Michael is my cousin’s husband, so I assume she’ll get him, but if you can, get in touch with Bradley and Jake.”

  She had gone most of the day without thinking about him—of course most of that day had been spent asleep in bed—but still he had been off her mind. Was her contact with him ever going to end? It didn’t look like it. As long as she was in Patience, Jake was bound to be in her life. With fewer than three weeks left on her visit, she needed to get him out of her house. And after Em’s wedding, he would be out of her life. She just needed to get through the next two weeks.

  “Okay, I can do that,” Anna said softly, hoping the other two women didn’t notice her uneasiness with the simple request.

  “Mama is having the last meeting with the caterer. We’re also going to get the band that played at the party Saturday to play at the wedding. They were surprisingly good. Everyone seemed to like them. I know Anna sure did.” Em smiled and gave a knowing look in Anna’s direction, abandoning Jesse’s eyebrows for a second.

  Jesse chimed in, “Yeah, the guitar player had a thing for Anna. It actually was sweet, that is, until good ole’ Jake ruined her dance.”

  Anna didn’t know Jesse had been watching her and Jake so closely, but then again, the whole room was looking at her when she stormed out of the Banquet Hall. If the same band was going to be at the wedding, at least she could apologize to Cam for Jake’s uncalled-for behavior.