Forgiving Patience

by Jennifer Simpkins

  Not now—get up, Anna. Do something. You have to do something…anything.

  She could see it all over again. Her mother was sitting in the same spot she was after her stepdad slammed her against the wall. Her mother’s face was pale and blank. As a child Anna was terrified for her mother, but was unable to do anything to help her. Anna endured her own hell at night and wasn’t strong enough to face the same hell during the day.

  “Anna? Anna, you okay, baby? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Can you stand?” Jake was pulling her toward him.

  “Don’t touch me!” She didn’t want to be touched. It crossed her mind to just give up, crawl into a ball, and block it all out. But she knew she couldn’t do that. Not this time. She needed to get up and face the demons that scared her.

  “Don’t touch me, you bastard,” she repeated, her voice coming out weak, but holding the same intensity as if she had spat it in his face.

  He stared at her for a long, quiet moment before speaking, “I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t mean to scare you. When I get mad, I lose my temper sometimes. I’m just so sorry.” He rubbed both hands over his stubbled face, looking repentant for his actions.

  She was thankful when he backed away from her and the wall she was leaning against. He moved to one of the kitchen chairs, planted himself in it, and stared at the floor. She could tell he was mad at himself, and she would have felt sorry for him if she wasn’t so pissed at him.

  Anna continued sitting on the kitchen floor, not yet trusting her legs. She didn’t need Jake rushing to her side if she just happened to do a face plant on the linoleum. Instead, she sat in place until her breathing slowed and her eyesight cleared again.

  “Jake, I’m going to get up now. If I lose my balance and start falling to the floor, let me fall.” She sternly looked him in the eye to emphasize her request. She knew he wouldn’t just let her fall, but she wanted to make it clear to him that she didn’t want him near her. His head gave a slight nod, so she inched her way up the wall until she was standing up straight. She could see him watching her carefully, but he didn’t flitch.

  She left him sitting and went to the bathroom. It was the only place where she could be alone at the moment. She splashed cool water on her cheeks, staring at the face that looked back at her. She could see the sadness in her own eyes. It resembled the same look in her mother’s eyes all those years ago. “What am I doing here, mom?” she asked, looking up at the ceiling as if her mother could see and give her the answer she needed.

  She stripped out of Jake’s clothes and slipped back into her pants and tank top that smelled of Jesse’s homemade punch. The smell brought back a night she just wanted to forget. She took out her cell, seeing five missed calls—all from Liza. Being reminded that Jake was trouble and that she needed to stay a county away from him was not what Anna wanted to hear. Instead, she punched in Em’s number.

  “Hey, Em, can you come pick me up at my old house? Yes, everything is fine…Tommy’s truck is okay…see you in a few minutes.” She closed the phone and pulled herself up on the counter, giving Em enough time to get there. When she heard the SUV pulling down the driveway, she headed out of the bathroom, past the kitchen. Jake was still sitting in the chair. He gave her one last look, a look that told her he was desperately sorry, but didn’t know what to do except let her walk out the door. She was glad he didn’t try to stop her. Not even giving the house a last look, she walked out the door.

  Chapter Twelve

  “So, what happened? Why couldn’t Jake drive you back to my house? He has to bring Tommy’s truck back anyway.”

  “Oh, he was still asleep. I didn’t want to wake him.” Anna didn’t even dare look at her friend. Instead, she stared out the passenger window. She never could lie and knew Em would see straight through her story.

  “Anna, Jake hasn’t slept past seven since the day he started playing professional baseball. What’s really going on?”

  “It’s nothing, really. We stayed up late watching television so he must have been tired.” She was partly telling the truth, so that couldn’t exactly be telling a lie.

  “Don’t tell me you two stayed up watching old Roseanne episodes and not getting it on.”

  “I didn’t come here to get it on with anyone, so please drop it, all right?” She needed to change the subject quick. “What do we need to do for your wedding this week?”

  Em left the subject of her and Jake alone to talk about her wedding that was coming up in less than a week.

  For the next short minutes back to Em’s house, they talked about flowers, the cake, getting with the photographer, and tons of other last minute details that Anna couldn’t really focus on at the moment. She loved her friend and was happy for the happiness she’d found with Tommy, but she just wasn’t up for wedding talk.

  When they arrived at Em’s, she took her purse and shoes that Em had remembered to bring with her. She gave her friend a hug and promised to call that afternoon to discuss their plans for the week.

  Alone at last.

  The apartment was only a few blocks away. Garrett wasn’t in the office so she didn’t have to worry about him pestering her for information about where she’d been last night and why she was just now getting home. He was a nice enough guy, but she didn’t want him to start being nosy.

  Anna walked into the studio apartment and flopped on the bed. What a night…what a day. And it wasn’t even nine yet. All she was wanting was a bath, but she was settling on a shower. She couldn’t wait to go back home and take an hour-long bath. The thought made her want to pack up and leave right then, and she might have if it wasn’t for the wedding and her responsibility to her friend. She had to stay for the wedding, and then she was out of Patience for good. She jumped in the shower long enough to wash up. After putting on panties and a tank top, she crawled under the covers. Sleep, that’s what she needed. And it just so happened that she had no problems sleeping during the day.

  * * * *

  “Why did I let you talk me into this? This is ridiculous. You’re about to get married, Em. Why do you want to be here, again?” Anna didn’t like the idea of being at her old high school—at a bachelor auction at that.

  She wasn’t interested in having a bachelor. If it wasn’t for Anna feeling bad because she’d missed out on some girl-time over the past couple days, she wouldn’t have come out tonight.

  She and Jake hadn’t talked since their fight about something she couldn’t understand. It had to be about more than just Bradley. Sitting on the kitchen floor, he’d sent her mind back to a series of events where cigarette smoke filled the air, people were screaming, and deodorant cans, dishes, or vases were hurled across the room, shattering against the wall. She needed to concentrate on getting Jake out of her house, mind, and dreams, so her healing process could begin. He was making things impossible by dragging the damn dates out, and not letting her get the intense, hot, tempting…dates out of the way.

  “I told you, you need to get out and have some fun. Plus, if you win us a bachelor, you might get out of helping finish the bridesmaids’ bouquets.”

  “Wait—you never said I have to bid.”

  “Well, you can’t expect me to, can ya? I’m getting married in a little over a week, hell, Anna, that will just give the old woman at the hair shop something juicy to talk about.”

  They were making their way through the crowded room of single women, all ready with wads of cash and check books, wanting to get the hottest male they could afford. Apparently, Em wanted to get in the front row. They pushed and shoved through the fragrances of White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor and Baby Phat Fabulosity until Em was satisfied with the perfect spot. The women ranged from their early twenties to her sixty-year-old next door neighbor Ms. Edna. She wasn’t even going to bring it up. It was mind boggling to think of Ms. Edna bidding along with others half her age.

  That didn’t stop Em, though. “Is that Edna? We need to watch out for her. I’ve seen the tips she’s been getting
. We can’t let the old woman outbid us.”

  “What? Let’s get back to the part where I have to bid so you can get help for your wedding. Do you actually trust a man—a single man at that—to make your bouquets?”

  “I trust a single man more than a married one. A single man has more experience at using his hands. I bet they are better than Mrs. Lena at the Flower and Gift Shop…cheaper too.”

  “Yuck, does Tommy know who he’s marrying? All you talk about is sex, sex, and more sex.”

  Em was scanning the crowd, pointing out the competition, ignoring the little comment. She was serious about this? Gesturing to her left, she said, “You see that slut Carly? Don’t let her get any of the good ones. I refuse to lose to her, anybody else okay, but not her. She’s always hitting on Tommy, along with any other available male, and I will take that bitch down.”

  Anna laughed. “Whoa, killer.”

  She remembered seeing the five-foot seven inches tall busty blonde at Ollie’s the other night. Every woman and man for the matter could tell that Carly had her sights on Jake, and she looked like a woman who was used to getting what she wanted. She agreed with Em—Carly was not outbidding them.

  Talking to her best friend was not going to get her out of this stupid idea—one that would result in embarrassment…or something worse. Not that she had anything better to do. She just wished to be anywhere but there. If she wanted to think of hot, single men, she would just pick up her current read—which provided as much excitement as she needed at the moment. But…she had been a lousy friend lately with the whole party incident and being MIA the past couple days. What the hell.

  “Fine. I’ll do the bidding, but you will do the buying. Deal?”

  The two friends shook hands and continued on with their game plan. They decided Jesse would be bidding on Bradley, for what Em said was obvious reasons, and a few women who Em worked with would be going for sexy firemen or cops. They had to worry about Carly, Ms. Edna for some crazy reason, and Georgia. Anna actually was curious at who the bubbly woman would bid on.

  Em gave her three hundred dollars and an extra two hundred in case they needed to outdo Carly.

  “How much was Mrs. Lena charging, anyway?”

  “Eight hundred big ones. Crazy, huh? I’ve known the batty woman all my life, and she can’t cut me a break. We went with her for the bride and groom party so you would think I would get a discount. Oh, no… Well, she lost my business. I will do it myself or get a hot guy to do it before I pay her that much. It’s the principle of the thing, you know?”

  Anna had known some woman back in Linden who paid over a thousand, but decided against bringing that up. Em had a heated opinion, and Anna wasn’t going to worsen the situation. She would just be the good friend who bid on a hot guy for her. Tommy was a good man to deal with Em on a daily basis. It was interesting, but had to be exhausting at the same time.

  “Okay, it’s starting. Get ready to find me a guy.”

  The lights dimmed, woman squealed, and the song, I’m too Sexy for my Shirt started to blast through the speakers on both sides of the stage. Just then a dark-haired fireman came out ripping his thin shirt off, leaving him in only jeans and flip-flops. Was it just her, or were fireman supposed to come out only in uniform pants held up by red suspenders? Maybe that was just a stereotype or something you only saw in calendars. He was extremely attractive, but he just didn’t do it for her.

  Baseball players were more her thing, and eleven years ago she had been burned by one, so now she was left with nothing that made her hot inside.

  The casually dressed firefighter went for two hundred dollars, while a few more men came out only going for one hundred a piece. Two of them were a little pot-bellied, but would have made good helpers. The other guy looked terrified. Anna was thankful Em passed, because if the guy was scared of all these screaming women, he definitely would have wanted to run from Em.

  Oh, wait—not all women were coming for just help around the house. They expected a night of full blown pleasure. The thought made her mind jump to Jake, but before it could linger the next guy was strutting his way out on the stage.

  “…and this one runs a successful business here in town. Garrett’s a catch, ladies. So get those checkbooks ready. Let’s start the bidding at fifty dollars.” The principal was really trying to sell the men. It was apparent the woman wanted money for the athletics department, and she was willing to say anything good about each guy to get the most money for them. She continued, “…do I hear a hundred?”

  “Bid two hundred. Garrett is perfect.”

  Em was yanking Anna’s hand up, eager to win the businessman who had caused Anna so much trouble.

  “We, I mean, I bid two hundred,” she yelled out.

  Garrett was grinning like a possum at seeing her bid for him. Great. Garrett was clearly going to take this the wrong way. God, why did she let Em get her into the worst situations? It was as if she were back in high school again, and Em was dragging her on a double date with a pimple-faced boy, just so she could go out with the hot older brother. This is where her strong backbone would come in handy.

  “Two fifty,” some woman in the back yelled, but Anna couldn’t make out her face through the crowd of people. Garrett was going for some serious dough. “…sold to the woman in the back. Come claim your man.” The principal, who was having too much fun, hit the podium with her bare hand, excited over the amount of money they were making.

  “Oh. My. God. Is that Georgia?” Anna hadn’t expected that. “Why would Georgia want Garrett? She sees him every day.”

  “Maybe there’s a little office romance going on there.” Em elbowed her in the ribs, making her double over.

  “Calm down. Jeez, you’ve probably just bruised my ribs.”

  “Quit being a baby and concentrate. We’ve lost our first guy. We need to stay focused.”

  “There have already been six or more men who have strutted their stuff. Why haven’t you let me bid more?”

  “I’ve got one other man in mind. I’ll let you know when I see him. I’ve heard he is extra good with his hands…if you know what I mean.”

  “Now shush, here comes Bradley. Let’s see how much Jesse is willing to throw down.”

  “How can you be so sure Jesse will spend her hard-earned money on a guy who’s never had a relationship longer than a week?” To Anna, Jesse seemed like a stern woman who wouldn’t allow any man to run over her. Bradley just didn’t seem to fit. Not that he wasn’t handsome and even more charming than his brother. It just didn’t seem likely that Jesse would waste her time on a guy who was so dead set on never settling down. At least that was the way Jake made him sound.

  “Just watch. Believe me, I know these things. She doesn’t think I notice, but she’s had a longing for him for years.”

  Em was right. Jesse was up to six hundred dollars on the man looking comfortable in tight pants, work boots, and button-down shirt revealing half his chest. Damn Lawrence boys. He tipped his straw hat when he saw her and Em, flirting in his own way. He probably didn’t even know it was flirting. It was just what he did to all women, young and old.

  “…eight hundred…nine hundred.” A girl up front yelling out above the crowd was causing Jesse to up her bidding price. Jesse wasn’t the only one who couldn’t resist the Lawrence charm. This girl looked not even twenty, probably didn’t even have the money. Mouth open wide, it looked like the girl was in a trance or something. “Nine hundred and fifty dollars.” The principal hit her podium with the palm of her hand. “…sold to the woman up front. Have fun.”

  Anna and Em simultaneously turned back to the spot Jesse had been standing in at the beginning of the auction. She was gone. The hardheaded woman was probably spitting mad at the thought of losing to some young girl who had spent her life savings on a one-night stand that would result in Bradley forgetting the girl’s name by sunrise. Her heart went out to Jesse. It took a lot for her to open up and bid on her crush, only be shut down. Even th
ough Bradley didn’t do the stomping himself, it still had to hurt the same. But Anna doubted Bradley was innocent when it came to Jesse.

  “Shit. Jesse is going to be pissed. She doesn’t like to lose, particularly not to another woman—and especially when it comes to Bradley, whether she wants to admit it or not.”

  “Jesse knows Bradley takes a new woman home every other night. Why would this be any different?”

  “There’s a big difference. Usually Jesse is flirting and rubbing a little too close to other guys in front of Bradley, showing him what he will never get. Tonight she put herself out there—alone, and she just got her pride stomped on. We might not wanna get in her way for a while. It could be ugly.”

  “You’re planning a wedding to her brother. We can’t exactly ignore her.”

  “Right. Well, that sucks for us.”

  “Now, ladies, we saved the most beloved and heart-breaking bachelor in Patience for last. Let’s start the bidding at two hundred.”

  A man wearing a faded gray T-shirt, jeans that were neither tight nor loose—just fitting in the area that mattered to most of the women in the room, and the usual ball cap shading his dangerous eyes waltzed on the stage. Jake just got better and better looking each time she saw him.

  Her mouth went completely dry.

  The women in the crowd started yelling. You would think he was some rock star, but duh, he used to be a major leaguer, and women liked that thought. He also was very easy to look at.

  “Anna, get it together here.” Em was snapping her fingers, bringing her back from the same trance she’d seen the young girl have with Bradley.