To Mend a Broken Heart

by K. A. Hobbs

  “Poppy loved it in here,” he moves over to the lowest shelf and picks up a story book, “She would have me read this to her every single day, often more than once.”

  The memory makes him smile. This is Daniel’s thing and it was Poppy’s thing too.

  “Cinderella.” he holds the book up.

  “Good choice, one of the best stories and my personal favourite as a little girl.”

  “Do you want to see the rest?” he places the book carefully back on the shelf and stands up.

  “I’d love to.”

  I follow Daniel out of the room and into the room opposite, which is the lounge. It’s warm and welcoming. The wall behind the sofa has twelve black and white photos of Poppy. Her first year brought to life right in front of me. You can see her growing, month by month, see her become more of a little tiny person and less of a baby. They are beautiful, the most stunning photos I’ve ever seen.

  “Daniel, they are incredible.”

  “I took them.” I turn to look at him.

  “You took those?”

  “Yes. Photography, also my thing,” he says shyly, “It’s just for me now though, but I used to travel and it was my job.”

  “You are incredibly talented. Wow.” I step a little closer and look at each photo separately.

  “Thank you.”

  He stands beside me and looks at the photos with me. A small smile on his lips. Like each photo is a memory he cherishes, and of course they are. I turn around and face the fireplace and there they are. Poppy and Daniel’s handprints. I thought the photos were beautiful, but their beauty pales in comparison to the beauty of these handprints.

  “Oh.” It’s a whisper and I know there are tears, but I don’t brush them away, it seems wrong to try to hide them.

  “The most precious thing I have,” he steps forward and brushes his fingers over the paint work, “I have them on paper too. And I have them here.” he reaches for the hem of his vest and pulls it up.

  There on his perfect skin is Poppy’s handprint. In black, resting right over his heart. My hand rises on it’s own and moves closer, I stop myself before I make contact with his skin.

  “She is always with me now. Always. No one has seen this, I don’t know why I wanted you to know… I can’t explain it, Katie. I just do.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I whisper.

  It’s strange, it’s like a magnetic pull between us. We both reach out for each other, both needing to be held, because sometimes, the warmth, safety and solace of someone’s arms is all that is needed, all that will help. We hold each other, like friends and we comfort each other. When Daniel pulls back and looks down at me, I smile up at him, letting him know, everything was okay.

  “Let me show you the rest of the house.”

  He holds out his hand for me and I take it. It seems natural to me. He shows me his kitchen next and it’s a beautiful cream colour with a wooden breakfast island in the centre. There is a big stainless steel coffee machine on one counter that seems to be the focal point of the whole room and here are lots of bottles with different oils and the windowsill is lined with pots of herbs, this is the kitchen of a man who likes to cook.

  He leads me upstairs next. I have to admit to feeling a little uncomfortable when he leads me straight down the hall and into his bedroom. It has a dark wooden sleigh bed in the very centre of the room. It’s big and beautiful and I can’t help but smile at the likeness of it’s owner. Where downstairs is light, Daniel’s room is darker with chocolate brown walls that make the room feel cosy and warm. Above the bed are four photos, all black and white again, but this time they are landscapes. Daniel really is a talented photographer. I can’t help but notice how beautifully decorated everything is.

  “Did you decorate yourself?” I ask as we walk down the hall and into the bathroom.

  “No. I inherited a lot when my father passed. This house included. The whole place needed gutting when I moved in. A friend of mine is an interior designer, so I asked her to help, I have to say, she did a really good job.”

  The bathroom boasts a shower big enough for two and sat right in front of the big window stands a wonderful freestanding bath tub that is wood panelled and faces out into the garden. I could imagine taking a bath in it would be heavenly.

  “She did an amazing job.”

  “Do you want to see the room you can stay in? If you want to?”

  “I’d love to see it.”

  We walk into the second to last room upstairs, much like the other rooms, it’s beautifully decorated. An iron bed with lots of pillows and a nautical theme, including the photos on the walls.

  “Yours?” I ask, pointing to the photos of a sail boat on the water.

  “Yes.” he nods.

  “That bed looks so comfortable.” I run my hands over the covers.

  “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never slept in it.”

  “I will tell you in the morning.” I smile.

  “There is one more room… If you want to see it.”

  I know what the room it is. There is only one room it can be. Poppy’s room.

  “If you’d like me to see it, I’d be honoured.”

  We walk next door and Daniel pushes open the door. The walls are painted sky blue and huge painted poppies grace the wall. They stand tall and perfect. All the furniture is white and small. There is a little brown bear sitting on the bed and there is a child’s rocking chair sat in the corner with a pile of books on the floor next to it.

  “It’s the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen, Daniel.”

  “Poppy loved it. She loved spending time in here.”

  “Any little girl would, actually, I think anyone would.”

  “So now you’ve seen everything, can I try this Pimm’s you talk so fondly of do you think?” he takes a shuddery breath like being in this room causes him physical pain.

  “Yes we can, and I have some nibbles too.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  We make our way down the stairs and into the kitchen. I turn to look at Daniel and he is holding the shopping bags I brought with me in his hands.

  “Do you need these?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.

  “Yes, yes I do. Now the big question…”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “Do you have ice?”

  “Ha! Do I have ice? Look behind you.”

  I turn and smile. He definitely has ice. He has one of those big American fridges with the ice maker in the front, I turn back to Daniel and smile.

  “You have everything don’t you?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

  “I have most things, yes.”

  “A jug?”

  “Yes.”

  “A chopping board and a knife?”

  “Colour coded.”

  “Lemonade?” his face falls.

  “No. I don’t have lemonade.”

  “Good job it’s in that bag you’re holding then, isn’t it?” I tease.

  “Very good.” he smiles, placing the bags on the counter.

  He fetches me a chopping board and knife, then takes the jug over to the fridge and presses for ice before stopping himself.

  “Cubed or crushed?”

  “Oh, so fancy! Cubed I think.”

  “It’s just ice.” he laughs.

  “It’s fancy ice.”

  “Still just ice.” He places the jug on the counter and waits expectantly.

  “There are some olives, crisps, and bread sticks in that bag. Do you want to get those out?”

  “Sure.”

  I busy myself chopping the lemon, limes, cucumber and strawberries, placing them into the jug then pouring over a generous portion of the scrummy alcohol. Daniel passes me two glasses and I set them down.

  “We need to wait a little while, it’s best when the Pimm’s has soaked into the fruit.”

  “Did you want to put some music on or something? It plays out in the garden.”

  “Daniel, I’m in love with your house.”

  He smiles s
hyly at me and heads over to the sound system in the dining room. He presses a few buttons and the sound of a piano comes over the speakers. Daniel likes classical music? He switches it off and turns back to face me.

  “Do you want to choose?”

  “No, no. You choose.”

  He scrolls through and presses play. Sting. I adore Sting.

  “Do you mind if I go change? Freshen up a little? You’re welcome to go outside, get comfortable, enjoy the sun. I won’t be long.”

  “I’ll be outside when you’re ready.”

  I head out into the garden and can’t help smiling. Everything about Daniel’s house is perfect, even the garden, complete with the cutest little playhouse. I take a seat on the bench that sits just outside the kitchen and smile when I hear Daniel’s voice carrying down over the sound of the shower. He was singing along to Englishman in New York. This is the most carefree I have ever heard him. Ten minutes later he is standing in front on me, he’s changed into a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt, his wet hair is sticking up in his effortless messy style and he is wearing a pair of dark sunglasses. He looks relaxed and happy and now that I think about it, I feel relaxed and happy too.

  “Is the Pimm’s ready now?”

  “Yes, I’ll just pour the lemonade in.” I stand and walk back into the kitchen while Daniel takes the nibbles out into the garden.

  When it’s ready, I carry it out to the garden and stop in my tracks. Daniel is sitting at the table, his head resting back on the chair, a small, sweet smile on his face. It’s a genuine smile, a smile that you can’t control. I feel the warmth wash over me again and I smile too.

  “Here you go, be ready to drink the best summer drink there is!”

  “Better than a cold beer?” he turns his face to me, I can’t see his eyes but I know they are looking at me.

  “Much.” I hand him a glass and await his reply.

  “It is good. Really good,” he takes another sip and sighs, “Yes, I’ll be happy to drink this.”

  We spend the afternoon drinking and chatting. When talk turns to Poppy’s mother I see a dark shadow cross his face. He turns his head to me and takes a deep breath.

  “We hadn’t been together very long at all, she was a complicated woman. When she found out she was pregnant, we were both shocked. We always used protection, but nothing is one hundred percent reliable, other than abstinence I guess. She didn’t want Poppy, not that we knew it was a Poppy at the time.” he reaches over and tops up both our glasses before he continues.

  “I begged her not to terminate the pregnancy. I wanted our baby as soon as I knew they were on their way. I had very loving parents, I’ve always wanted to be a father. She agreed to keep the baby, but insisted she wouldn’t be there for them when they arrived. I looked after her, I paid for anything she needed and I got the house ready for their arrival.”

  “That’s awful, Daniel.”

  “Every woman has a choice. I don’t know if many women would put their body through pregnancy when they had no intention of being a mother. But Lydia did. When she went in to labour, she phoned me. I arrived at the hospital with minutes to spare. When Poppy came into the world, she screamed, she screamed the whole hospital down… Until she was placed in my arms. Then she stopped. She looked at me and she stopped crying.”

  “She knew her Daddy.” I smile.

  “She knew she was loved. Lydia told the nurses she didn’t want to meet her daughter, she didn’t want to be involved. She never even looked at her, Katie. She was handed to me and Lydia was wheeled out of the room. To this day, she doesn’t know about Poppy. She doesn’t know what an incredible little girl she is, doesn’t know what happened. I never saw her again.”

  “I don’t understand that, I don’t understand how you can turn your back on your own child.”

  “She didn’t want a family, she made that perfectly clear to me. I’m not really sure why we were together. We were polar opposites… Anyway, I brought Poppy home and we settled into life together. Those first few months, the night feeds, the lack of sleep, they were the best months of my life. Bonding with my daughter, they were incredible. Every minute, of every day, I fell more in love with her.”

  “You did an amazing job, Daniel.”

  “I was both mother and father to her.”

  “No. You were so much more than that, so much better than that. You were her hero.”

  He just smiles at me, a calm kind of sadness on his face. Life is so cruel. Daniel gave everything he had to be a father and his daughter was taken away from him. I don’t understand it at all.

  “It’s so unfair.”

  “It is. But it isn’t our place to question the path we’re destined to take. My life has been enriched and made perfect having my daughter, even if it wasn’t for as long as it should have been. If I had never met Lydia, I wouldn’t have had Poppy. And if I hadn’t have had Poppy, there would be a part of me that would never have been awoken. I have to be thankful for that.”

  “You’ll have that chance again, Daniel. There is someone out there who will give you more beautiful children.”

  He removes his sunglasses and looks at me, he looks at me so intently I shiver. The look says more than words ever could. The look tells me he thinks there is someone out there too, but it says even more than that. It looks like he thinks he’s already found that person.

  “I hope so, Katie.”

  “I’m sure of it.” I smile.

  “Are you hungry?” he gets to his feet and walks over to the barbecue.

  “Starving.”

  “Let me light up while you make us another jug.” he smiles.

  “You got it!” I call, heading back into the kitchen.

  * * *

  “So you’re a wedding co-ordinator?” Daniel asks me.

  We’ve stuffed our tummies with more food than was necessary, and I’ve just finished the last of my coffee and six After Eights Daniel forced on me.

  “Yes, at a local venue. I haven’t been at work since, well, you know. But I am hoping to get back there soon. I’m just not sure I can help couples plan their dream wedding without bursting into tears right now.”

  “It must be a wonderful job… when things aren’t so difficult.”

  “It really is. You see some really strange things though. Like one couple,” I begin, taking an After Eight from the box while Daniel grins at me, “They had a wildlife theme. The tables were all named after wild animals. And in the evening, they changed and became a lion and lioness.”

  “Really?” he laughs.

  “Yes. It was so incredibly strange. Not everyone is weird though, some couples are just lovely.”

  “Did you ever do a nudist wedding?” he asks cheekily.

  “No I did not!” I laugh, throwing my empty balled up After Eight wrapper at him.

  “I had to ask, in my days as a photographer, a friend of a friend was getting married, it was a nudist wedding, they asked if I would be their photographer. I had to say no,” he shakes his head, “I mean, where would you look?”

  I don’t know why it makes me laugh, I think it’s Daniel’s serious face when he says it. But I laugh so much tears are streaming down my face. When I finally get it together enough to take a normal breath, I look at Daniel who is looking at me and grinning.

  “I’m glad I amuse you.” he chuckles.

  “Oh you really do,” I laugh again, “I really best be going to bed, I think I’ve had more to drink than I first thought and I’m suddenly tired.” I yawn.

  “Of course,” Daniel gets up and carries the coffee cups inside, “I’m not sure where the day went?”

  “Me neither, I guess good company makes time fly.” I smile.

  “Thank you for today, it was just what I needed.”

  I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist and he wraps his arms around me too, resting his cheek on top of my head. I stay there, just a few seconds more, enjoying the heat that radiates from him, before pulling back.

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