by K. A. Hobbs
“Katie..” His voice is pained and I regret my actions immediately.
“I'm sorry. That isn't helping,” I pull back and look up at him, “I'm flattered. More than flattered actually. I want you that way too, but not tonight. Not when everything is still so new and muddled. Come to bed and hold me.”
I walk back into the bedroom and climb into bed. Daniel switches off the bathroom light and joins me, hesitating before he finally slips under the duvet. I slide closer to him and rest my head on his chest, wrapping my arm around his hard stomach and pressing the length of myself against him. He tenses for a second then wraps his arms around me too.
“These sheets are new. Egyptian cotton. I treated myself to the best white sheets I could find a few weeks ago.”
“They are very nice sheets,” he laughs.
“I love white bed linen, it is my favourite part of going away, they always have white linens on the beds. It's like sleeping in a cloud. Which coincidentally, is also why I have so many pillows.”
“You do have a lot of pillows, and I do feel like I'm in a cloud, so the overall effect is successful.” he presses a kiss to the top of my head and sighs.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, Katie. Everything is very, very right for the first time in a long time.”
Chapter Seventeen
I wake up the next morning having slept all the way through. For a second I forget Daniel is in the bed, then I feel him. Pressed against the curve of my bottom and back. I'm not sure he is awake yet, well not all of him anyway, one part of him is definitely awake. I lay perfectly still, soaking up his heat and relishing the feeling of having him wake up next to me. I have slept so soundly, it’s strange, usually when two people sleep together they toss and turn trying to adapt. I know we’ve shared a bed before but never like this, never under the same covers and never wearing so little. I lay there, waiting for the panic I’m sure is going to set in, but nothing comes. Deciding I want to see Daniel asleep in my bed, I turn around in his arms and rest my head on my pillow just inches from his.
Daniel looks beautiful in sleep, rested and soft. My eyes travel down his body and I cheekily pull the duvet up and peek under to get a look at all of him. I blush just sneaking a peek, his long legs are stretched out, his t-shirt has ridden up and a small strip of his golden stomach is visible. I drink him in, enjoying being able to look at him without feeling guilty, without questioning my feelings. When my eyes raise back to his face, his eyes are open and amused at my blatant appreciation of his body.
“Good morning.” I whisper shyly.
“Good morning, Katie. This is... Different.”
“It is. I like it, I really like it.”
Daniel pulls me to him and cups my face with one hand, he searches my face for a hint of hesitation before his mouth rests on mine. I react without thinking, opening my mouth and slipping my tongue into his mouth. When my tongue brushes against his for the first time, Daniel groans low in the back of his throat and his hand comes to rest on my hip. My hands travel up his sides and come to rest on his shoulders. With each touch of Daniel's hands, each stroke of his tongue, I can feel myself getting hotter, my whole body feels like it’s on fire and the ache between my legs becomes more intense until I can't focus on anything else but where Daniel is touching me.
I surprise myself by pushing Daniel onto his back and climbing on top of him, straddling his hips. He looks up at me, his eyes equally hooded and surprised as I rub myself against his erection that lies nestled between my thighs, pressing against the point I'm sure all my blood is rushing to. My nipples pebble and I can't help but push my chest against his trying to get some relief.
“Katie…”
“I…I… Just…” Daniel moves his hands to my hips and shifts under me and I groan, the hard length of him pressing right where I need him, “Oh! Oh!” I pant in small little puffs.
I shamelessly grind myself on him, desperate now for that release I know I can find if I just… Keep... Going… I look down at Daniel and kiss him again, trying to tell him everything I feel, that this is okay, that I want this. His hands grow braver when I don't pull back, sliding up my sides and around the front to where my breasts feel heavy and needy for him. His hand moves and I feel his thumb brush over my nipples. It makes a new wave of arousal run through me, a sudden rush of wetness to pool between my thighs and I think Daniel feels it too, he twitches underneath me and grows harder still.
“Katie, what do you need?” his voice is thick with arousal. Even in my worked up state I know I’m not ready for anything else, I know this will have to be enough.
“This. You. Us.”
“Your skin is burning,” he leans up and I feel his mouth tracing one nipple through my thin cotton top, “Can I touch you?”
“Yes…” I need him to.
He closes his eyes for a fraction of a second as his hand slips inside my shorts and he makes contact with the very top of my sex. He looks at me again, eyes dark, checking it’s still okay to take this further. I don't look away, giving him no doubt this is what I want. When his finger finally slips inside me, it feels more incredible than anything I've ever felt before. I feel like I’m being touched for the very first time in my life, all the nerve endings across my body come alive and sparks of arousal and need are all centred at that one point, that one place where Daniel's finger is circling inside of me.
“You feel… I can’t…" he groans into my neck.
When his lips find that spot, just below my ear and I feel his tongue sneak out to taste the skin there, I'm overwhelmed and my climax takes me by complete surprise. I tense, my body wound so tight above him as he continues to move his finger, gently now, inside of me. I'm sweaty and panting and painfully aware of how much Daniel needs something right now too.
“Wow.” he breathes against my neck, “Just wow, Katie.”
“Daniel…” I don't know what else to say.
“You're so beautiful,” he tells me as he pulls back, “So unbelievably beautiful.”
I suddenly feel shy as I feel him reluctantly slip his fingers out of me and bring them to rest on my hip. His eyes are dark and his breathing laboured, I can still feel him pressed against me.
“You’re… Can I…?”
“Katie. It's not about me, I want to be there for you. I'm okay.”
“You're reall—” He breaks off my sentence with a kiss, a kiss that tells me he loves what we just did and cannot wait for more, yet at the same time he will wait, for as long as I need to.
* * *
“Breakfast?” I ask Daniel, as we lay together in bed.
“I’m not going to say no,” he chuckles, “It’s incredible how not having sex makes you have an appetite.”
“It really is.” I grin as my stomach growls.
“I don’t have any of those amazing pastries of yours, I have bagels and cream cheese though, how does that sound?” I prop myself up on one elbow and look down at him.
“Perfect,” he brings his hand up and traces my jaw, “I’ve dreamed about waking up next to you like this for months. I never dreamed it would come true.”
“It’s real.” I smile, turning my face into his hand.
“I love you.” he says, his voice soft.
My breath catches in my throat, tears filling my eyes. We’d said it in a round about way last night but it feels different this time. In the light of day, with Daniel in my bed, after what we’ve shared only moments before, it’s different.
“I love you, too.” I whisper, looking straight into his eyes.
“We’ll work this all out. It’s overwhelming right now, but it will all be okay.” he pulls me to his chest and kisses the top of my head while his warm hands run up and down my back soothing me.
After a few minutes, my stomach growls again and we can’t ignore our hunger anymore, laughing, we both get up, neither of us bothering to get dressed. We head into the kitchen and Daniel takes charge of the coffee making while I toast u
s both bagels.
“Are you working today?” he asks, placing a coffee in front of me and sitting down next to me.
“Not today. Are you?”
“I have to sort things for New York. Did you talk to work? Or give it some more thought?” he asks me.
“I did, they are happy for me to take whatever time I need, I’m not taking on anything big right now and to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to rush getting back into it full time.”
“So is that a yes?”
“If you’d like me to go, then I’d love to go, yes!”
“Katie,” he reaches for my hand, “A few weeks ago I’d have liked you to come with me, now? I’d love nothing more than for you to come with me.”
The excitement that I’ll be going to New York suddenly explodes from me and I squeal and throw myself at Daniel like a child. I wrap my arms around him as he laughs and wraps his around me. When I pull back, with what feels like the biggest smile on my face, I see the same smile on his face. I lean forward and press my lips to his, he groans and I feel him stir against me. He slips his tongue into my mouth; he tastes of coffee and his unique Daniel taste, he tastes incredible. We lose ourselves in each other, the feeling is new and exciting and I find myself almost drugged by Daniel’s closeness. When we do eventually pull back, we're both panting and Daniel is pressing into my stomach. The poor guy, this is the second time this morning.
“Daniel, we need to stop.” I pull back but his hands stay around my waist.
“Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to feel you like this?” he pulls me into him a little more, his mouth resting by my ear, “Don't stop on my account, this... It's excruciatingly good, Katie.”
“How can it possibly be?” I raise my eyebrows at him.
“I have you in my arms, you love me, everything is perfect for the first time since…”
I cut his words off with a kiss and I can't help but press myself closer to him, making sure every inch of my skin that can be is touching Daniel and he seems to need the same. Breakfast is left to go cold while we soak each other up like sponges that have been left to dry out in the sun. It’s about much, much more than the physical touch, this is healing.
“Your stomach sounds like it's about to attack me, Katie.” Daniel laughs into my mouth a few minutes later.
“Let's eat breakfast, or we'll be stuck together like this all day.” Daniel tightens his grip on me and grins, his blue eyes happy and sparkling.
“That isn't going to make me let you go, you know.”
“I'll just eat in your arms then?”
Daniel smiles, then with one hand, reaches out and grabs half of one of the bagels, holding it up to my mouth, I take a bite, then he does. It's sickeningly sweet and adorable and I treasure every mouthful he feeds me. With breakfast finished, Daniel heads up to the bathroom to shower while I use the en-suite. The whole time I'm showering, I can’t get the thoughts of Daniel, naked and wet out of my head. He is showering only a few feet away from me and I struggle to remember why we are showering separately. Because you don't want to rush things. Even if my hormones are telling me what I really want to do is go into the other bathroom, climb into the shower and wrap myself around Daniel.
I finish my shower and get dressed, when I walk past the bathroom, Daniel is standing in front of the mirror shaving, his little toiletries bad sitting on the counter. It takes me by surprise and I find myself leaning against the door frame and watching him. He stretches his face as he moves the blade over the stubble there. His movements are smooth and concentrated and as I watch him I realise how much I miss the little things like watching Richard shave. He catches my eyes in the mirror and turns his head to smile at me.
“Are you coming in?” he asks, rinsing his razor in the sink.
“Sure.” I smile and walk in, taking a seat on the side of the bath.
“Did you have a nice shower?” Daniel asks, continuing to remove the stubble from his gorgeous face.
“Errrr, yeah?” I don't mean it to sound like a question but it does.
“You're not sure?” He smiles.
“No I did.” I just pictured you in here the whole time and worked myself up into a state about it.
“Okay…”
I sit happily watching Daniel shave in my bathroom. When he rinses his face and dries the water off using one of my towels I can't help but grin. I love the scent of shaving foam and now my towel will smell of it. He rinses the razor in the sink then places it in the little pot that is for exactly that purpose and turns to face me. It’s a little thing, him leaving his razor here, but right now it seems like a really big thing for both of us. Needing to be closer to him, I take full advantage of us being more intimate with each other and step into him, leaning up on my tiptoes to inhale his freshly shaven jaw.
“You smell... Incredible.” I groan, unable to stop myself.
It’s almost like all the feelings I have for Daniel that I refused to acknowledge are now running free. My body is more aware of Daniel than it ever has been. I can feel every line of him as he presses back against me, I can feel the warmth I’ve come to expect from him on levels I never have before. He drops his head to my neck and inhales deeply, his breath makes me shiver and he groans too.
“So do you.”
“We need to.. Do... Something.” I tell him, stepping back.
“We do?”
“Yes. We need to work this out and we need to put a little distance in between us, or I'm going to end up... We just need to work it all out.”
“What will you end up doing, Katie?” he asks, clearly amused.
“I am not going to tell you.”
“Do I have to kiss it out of you?” he murmurs, dropping his head again to capture my lips.
“Keep doing that and you wont need to,” I whisper into his mouth, “I’ll just… Oh!”
Daniel picks me up and puts me back down on the cabinet where I keep the towels and bottles of shower gel. He steps between my legs and with one hand, travels the length of my body, only stopping when he reaches my neck. He wraps his hand around it, gently pulling me towards his lips and into him.
“I think you’re right,” he pants against my mouth, “We need to do something.. Before I take this too far, too soon.”
“I want you, Daniel. Just not yet. Please don't think I don’t want you.”
“I don’t have any doubts you want me, Katie,” he smiles, pulling back to trace my face with his fingers, “Let’s go plan for New York shall we?”
“Yes. And have a coffee… It might you know, clear our heads.” I laugh nervously.
“Well, it’s worth a try.” he grins, pressing one last sweet kiss to my lips before he helps me off the unit.
* * *
We spend the day planning our trip, we have lunch together and when it gets dark, Daniel kisses me goodnight and goes home. When I’m laying in bed hours later desperately trying to get to sleep, I turn my head and inhale the pillow he slept on last night. I’m surrounded by Daniel’s scent but not his warmth and I suddenly feel sad. I pick up my phone and bring a message screen up and type him a message in the hopes he is still awake.
Me: Your scent has taken up residence on my pillows and sheets ;) Not your warmth though, it’s cold tonight. x
Daniel: It’s cold here too. But my sheets don’t smell of you :( you’re still better off than me. Unless of course I smell bad? ;)
Me: You smell heavenly. Of sunshine and happiness. Of love and protection. Whose idea was it for you to go home? :(
Daniel: Yours actually. But it was right. Tomorrow after work, why don’t you come over? I’ll cook. You can stay here? In my bed? x
Me: Will I be warm?
Daniel: Yes :) I’ll make sure of it.
Me: Can I sleep with my head resting on your chest?
Daniel: I hope so.
Me: Will you make me a coffee and pastries in the morning?
Daniel: Absolutely ;)
Me: I’ll be there ;) I�
��m going to sleep now. X
Daniel: Sleep well Katie. I love you x
Me: I love you too x
* * *
Sleeping in Daniel’s bed is just as incredible as sleeping in mine. Maybe even a little better as I’m completely surrounded by his scent, his warmth and him. I can’t remember when I’ve slept so well. We make plans to do a little pre New York shopping at the weekend and agree to stay at mine on the Saturday night. I wake up alone and in my own bed on Thursday and I feel sad the minute my eyes open and it takes me a few minutes to realise why. Today, Daniel is having Poppy’s furniture removed. I’ve taken the day off work and the hospital in order to be there with him when they come. I shower and have breakfast before I head over to Daniel’s. He opens the door and my heart sinks, gone is the carefree smile I’ve been graced with the last few days, the sad eyes are back and it breaks my heart to see them return. I step into the hallway and wrap my arms around his waist. He just holds me to him and kisses the top of my head.