by K. A. Hobbs
“Not half as much as I love you.” I whisper.
“No, it’s even more.”
* * *
Today is moving in day for me. My whole life is packed into boxes and I’m preparing myself to leave the house I have lived in with Richard and then alone for, so many years. I feel a little sad, there are so many memories here and they are part of the reason I have to be the one to move. The other part being I can’t bear to make Daniel leave the handprints. I also can’t make him live somewhere surrounded by memories of another man.
So today, as I wake up for the last time in this bed, I wipe away the tears that are falling and remind myself, that Richard isn’t here and leaving this house doesn’t mean I’m leaving him, the memories come with me, but that Im about to make a whole load of new ones with Daniel, with my fiancé, with the man who put me back together. Life is funny, you think you're made for one person, that you can only love one person so completely in your life, but that isn't true for everyone. What if for some people, there are more than one person? What if their heart has three parts and not two? That's me, I had my soul mate in Richard, but I have my soul mate in Daniel too. The only possible explanation is, my heart and soul was split into three the day I was born. All my life and the events in it, no matter how traumatic, lead me to both of them.
Daniel wanted to stay with me last night, but I just needed this one last night in the house alone. In an hour, the removal men would arrive to pack everything up and I will hand the keys over to the new owners. A lovely little family who will love the house like I do, probably more so. I swing my feet out of the bed and head downstairs for a coffee, I put the kettle on and stand there waiting for it to boil. My phone chirps on the counter alerting me to a text.
Daniel: Good morning beautiful, I hope you slept okay. I didn't get a wink of sleep, I was too busy worrying about you all alone and then getting excited knowing the next time I fell asleep it would be with you in my arms. In our house. That just made me more determined not to sleep, to wait until I had you with me. I'm going to shower then I'll be over. I hope you’re okay, Katie. I can’t wait to see you, to start this new chapter with you. I love you. See you soon, your D x
I can’t help but smile as I read his message. He didn’t even need to be near me for me to feel that warmth I now associate with him. I grin and send him a message back.
Me: I slept a little. Amazing how much I’ve grown used to having you with me. I can’t wait to start our new chapter either. I love you more every single day for everything you have given me. See you soon, your K <3
I make myself a coffee then take it with me as I wander one last time, through the house. When I finally head back upstairs for a shower, my emotions are a little more in check and I feel ready to start my new chapter. I’m just finishing pulling my hair up and off my face when there is a knock on the door. I head downstairs expecting the removal men and find Daniel standing there, a tub of what looks like pastries in his hand and two travel mugs filled with, what I know, is the most delicious coffee.
“I love you.” he tells me in way of a greeting.
“And I love you.”
“Today starts our new chapter. There is a huge space in my life, in my home, that has been waiting for you. Today, it gets filled. I’m ridiculously happy about that fact, Katie.”
“So am I.”
“Breakfast?” he holds his hands up.
“Please, I had to suffer an instant coffee already today.”
“Absolutely disgraceful.” he laughs, following me into the house, “I bring you proper coffee and some of your favourite pastries.”
“Absolutely grateful.” I grin as I take the tub from him.
“Are you okay?” he asks sounding concerned.
“Yes,” I sigh, “I’ve had a cry, I’m ready. I’m ready to live with you. I’m ready for my life with you.”
“I’ll always try to make you happy.”
“You do. You make me happier than anything.”
We tuck into breakfast and when the removal men arrive, I watch as they load the things I’m taking with me to Daniel’s, when the van is loaded, I get into my car and drive over to my new house. I sit on the drive and wait for Daniel and the removal men to arrive, I look up at the front of the house that is now my home and I let the smile that is trying to escape out. It’s a beautiful home, one I’m sure is going to be filled with love and kindness. A house that one day will be home to our children. Daniel arrives and the removal men unload everything. It’s dark and fast approaching midnight before we’ve finished unpacking a lot of my things. We order pizza, open a bottle of champagne and dance together in the lounge surrounded by boxes. I’m unpacking my books in the reading room when Daniel comes to stand next to me, a box in his hand.
“I have a moving in present for you.” he holds out his hands.
“Thank you.” I grin, taking the box from him.
I unwrap it and gasp. He remembered. With shaky hands I take out the framed print and place it gently on the padded bench. We saw this months and months ago on the day we went to Brighton as friends. We are much more than friends now. I stood there, gazing at this particular print for ages, so caught up in it’s beauty and it’s declaration. I wanted it, but couldn’t justify the price.
“Daniel…”
“It’s us, Katie,” he tells me, wrapping me in his embrace, “It’s us.”
“It is. It’s absolutely perfect, thank you, so much,” I lean up and kiss him, “Where will we put it?”
“Wherever you want to put it.” he smiles, looking past me to the bookshelf behind me, “I think we need to check the books are in alphabetical order.”
“I just put my books on my bookshelf, we don’t need to check.”
“I think we do.” he moves closer towards me, his eyes a little darker.
“Daniel…”
He doesn’t talk, just pushes me back against my newly acquired bookcase in the reading room and reaches for my hands. He pulls them to his mouth and kisses the back of each of them before raising them above my head and making sure my fingers are gripping the shelf above. He reaches for his t-shirt and pulls it over his head, throwing it over his shoulder and to the floor. He skims his hands down my body, slowly. When he reaches the hem of my t-shirt, he pulls it up my body as his mouth comes to rest on mine.
“We need to make the books feel at home.” he murmurs against my lips.
“And that means, this?” I groan as his lips find my neck.
“This means this and so much more,” he whispers into my skin, “So. Much. More.” his hands find the top button of my jeans at the exact same time his lips meet mine.
“I’m not sure if you’re trying to make my books feel welcome or me?” I pant.
“Both.”
“Then keep going, I’m not sure I feel completely at home yet.” I grin.
“Oh, I intend to.” he grins at me as he lowers himself to the floor in front of me, “And I don’t plan to stop until you’re completely at home here. This is your home now too.” he tells me.
“I know.”
If I didn’t then. I certainly did an hour later.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“December.” Daniel’s voice snaps me out of my trance.
“What about December?” I ask, tearing my eyes away from my laptop screen.
“I’d like to get married in December.”
“December like, five months away, December?”
“Yes. We can plan everything in that time, right?”
“Five months? I’m not sure? Venues might not even have availability this late.” I know work doesn’t have any.
“What if I told you, the place we love does?” he comes and sits next to me, “And what if I told you, that I may have already booked the date… just incase?” his cheeky smile makes me smile.
“Then I guess I would say, I better find a dress!”
“Really? You’re okay with this?”
“Okay with being your
wife in five months? Of course I am.”
“Katie, Christmas was always special with Poppy and when she…it took all the joy of Christmas away. Then we spent that first Christmas together and… all the joy came back.” he takes my hand and kisses my ring, “I want Christmas to always be a time I remember just how lucky I am, I want to have a reason to celebrate and not grieve.”
“Then we’re getting married in December, Daniel.” I tell him tearily.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” he leans towards me and I lean in too.
“Yes,” I kiss him, before pulling back, “Now, we better start planning our wedding, Mr Lambert, we have very little time to pull off what I have been imagining in my head for weeks.”
“All I need is you and a ring.”
“Well, I’d like a little more than that.” I grin.
“Well, whatever you’d like, we’ll have. How can I help?”
“You can start by writing your guest list while I look for a dress shop.”
“You’re going to be the most beautiful Bride.” he tells me running his thumb over my cheek.
“Well, I hope so. If I don’t find a dress I might be a naked Bride.”
“I wouldn’t mind.” he grins cheekily.
“Guest list.” I frown at him.
“Right. Guest list.” he grins at me, his eyes shining brightly.
I book an appointment at a dress shop all my Brides seem to use for Tuesday. I phone Ginny and tell her excitedly that we’ve set a date, the 12th of December. My best friend doesn’t seem pleased with our chosen date.
“Kate! I’ll be ready to pop by then! What if the baby arrives the day before? How can I be your Bridesmaid then?” she huffs down the phone.
“You won’t be my Bridesmaid, Ginny.” I tell her.
“I won’t? Is it because you don’t want a fat elephant for a Bridesmaid?”
“No you dafty, it’s because,” I take a deep breath, “It’s because I want you to give me away.” the line goes very, very quiet. Then I hear sniffles. Ginny’s crying.
“Ginny?”
“You w-w-want…”
“Yes, will you?” I ask in the most soothing voice I have.
“Of course I bloody will!” she half sobs, half laughs down the line.
“Good. I can’t imagine anyone else doing it.”
“Not even Ryan?”
“Not even Ryan.”
I didn’t tell Ginny that I know Daniel plans to ask Ryan to be his Best Man. In the time they have known each other, Ryan has become Daniel’s best friend. Which seemed strange at first seeing as Ryan was Richard’s best friend. The two of them got on from the very beginning, they have the same interests, the same taste in music. They have the same outlook on life and have bonded quickly. I think they both need a friend and they both seem to help each other, it’s wonderful and it makes my heart so happy every time I catch them, heads together discussing something.
“What if I pop before the wedding Katie, heck, what if I don’t? I’ll be the most hideous Bridesmaid there has ever been!”
“We both know you glow when you’re pregnant and have the neatest bump. I want you there, I need you there, bump and all.”
“Okay, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she laughs, then stops, “I don’t have to wear heels do I?”
“You wear whatever you want.” I tell her.
“Can I wear my pyjamas?”
“Nice try,” I laugh, “Are you free on Tuesday? I need to go and get my dress.”
“Of course I’m free! I wouldn’t miss you buying your wedding dress, Katie.”
“Then I’ll pick you up at ten-thirty and we’ll have coffee first.”
“I look forward to it Bride!”
“How is the bump cooking?”
“Good. Still making me stupidly sick, I hope it stops soon. Ryan wants to find out what we’re having as soon as we can. I’m not so sure, I rather like the surprise.”
“Let him find out and you keep it a secret?” I suggest.
“Pah! That would never work, the man is a blabber mouth! He would mention it, or I’d find dresses in his side of the wardrobe, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.”
“Then you’ll just have to find out or make him wait.”
“I have time to decide. I might change my mind or Ryan might.”
“I can’t wait to see you with a proper bump again and feel the Little Miss kick.”
“We don’t know it’s a Little Miss yet!”
“We will if Ryan gets his way,” I smile, “And lets face it, Ryan getting his way is exactly why you’re pregnant right now.” I laugh.
“Bloody right, filthy man!” she laughs, “Kate, I have to go, Aidan is awake. I’ll see you on Tuesday?”
“You will. Give my boy a big hug and a kiss.”
“Ryan?” she laughs.
“Aidan!”
“Gottcha! Bye babes!”
I get to work planning, there are things I need to get in place if we are getting married in five months time. I need to book to see the registrar, to work out a theme, I need to find wedding rings and shoes. I need to write a list. Twenty minutes later, Daniel comes up behind me and rests his hands on my shoulders. I lean my head back and look into his eyes.
“Are you nearly done?” he asks, leaning down to kiss me.
“Not even close. Someone,” I raise my eyebrow at him, “Thought it would be a good idea to get married five months from now.”
“Well, someone couldn’t wait any longer to marry the love of his life.”
“Well, someone might be forgiven.” I grin.
“I have been thinking.” he sits down next to me.
“Dangerous.” I grin.
“Cheeky,” he taps the end of my nose and speaks again, “The theme for the wedding?”
“Yes?”
“Do you have any idea what you’d like it to be? I mean, weddings usually have a theme right?”
“Yes they do… and I do have an idea actually.”
“So do I,” he smiles, “You first.” I take his hand in mine and look into his eyes.
“Poppies.” I whisper.
His eyes go wide with a shocked expression, a look of love spreads over his face. He doesn’t speak, but leans forward and presses his lips to mine. He just rests them there and breathes in deeply. I think my words, my idea was having an effect on Daniel. His hands are shaking and his breathing is getting faster.
“Are you okay?”
“Katie…”
“It’s okay. We don’t have to, I just wanted to include your little girl, Daniel. If she was here, she would be so included in our day, I just thought—”
“I love you so much. I love that you want to include Poppy. I love you so much, Katie.” he croaks, his voice thick with emotion.
“And I love you. Of course I want to include Poppy,” I brush away the tears I feel running down his cheeks with my fingers, “What was your idea?”
“I don’t think it’s better than yours.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Cinderella.”
“Oh,” I gasp a little, “Cinderella would be a beautiful idea…”
“Then why can’t we have both?”
“Both?”
“Yes, we can have Cinderella and poppies. It will be the most beautiful wedding there has ever been.”
“I think it just might,” I smile, “I love it.”
We spend the rest of the night drinking a bottle of red wine and searching the internet for ideas. We come up with so many it’s hard to choose which ones to use. We decide that each table, instead of having a name, will be a page from Cinderella. We find a simple but elegant design for our wedding cake that will be all white with the most striking red poppies on it. I’m sitting on the sofa with my laptop propped on my lap when Daniel taps my shoulder.
“Can we do this?” he lifts his iPad and shows me an image on the screen.
“Table confetti? Of course we can.”
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“Not just table confetti, table confetti made from the pages of Cinderella?”
“Do you have any idea how romantic you are?”
“A lot?” he grins.
“Yes. A lot.”
“So we can do it?”