by K. A. Hobbs
He opens the lid of the box and I actually gasp and tumble to my knees. Inside is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. It’s a sapphire ring, right in the centre of the band is the bluest sapphire. All along the band diamonds sparkle at me and when I look at Daniel, the blue is there in his eyes too.
“It’s beautiful, Daniel.” I whisper, tears running freely down my cheeks.
“It’s yours, of course it’s beautiful.” he whispers back.
“Thank you. Not for this, but for giving me my life back, for showing me I could love again, and I love you with everything I am.”
He takes my hand in his, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss on the soft skin there. There is still a mark from Richard’s rings, he slides the ring onto my finger then kisses that too, before he pulls me to him and kisses me. He kisses me with so much passion I lose all the air in my lungs and I forget to breathe.
“I will treasure and love you forever, Katie.”
“And I’ll do the same. Forever and a day.” I smile tearily, quoting his words back to him.
“And even longer than that.” he smiles.
* * *
I set the table and look over at Daniel in the kitchen. The lights are giving him a golden halo, his head down while he works away, creating a meal I know will be incredible. He sings softly along to the song playing with a smile on his face. I feel the smile on my face and the warmth wash over me like always. Being with Daniel is so easy, it’s everything else that can be difficult. The last few months have tried and tested us both, there were moments approaching Richard's anniversary that I thought we wouldn't make it, but Daniel fought for us when I wasn't able to yet desperately wanted to. Daniel held on to us with both hands and refused to let go regardless of how bumpy the road had gotten and I am so thankful he did.
Tonight we are going to tell Ginny and Ryan that we’re engaged. It’s been three days since the happy event and we’re both desperate to tell them. We'd immersed ourselves in each other for the past three days, dreaming up ideas of how we want our wedding to be. Talk also turned to living arrangements, where I want to live, in my house or here with Daniel. I'd taken time to think it through, but I know in my heart, living in my house will never work. Richard is there, in every corner, every seat, every room. We lived together there, we chose the paint, we picked out the curtains, the rugs everything together and his ghost can be felt in every room of that house, less than it was, but he’s still there.
Living in Daniel's house means a fresh start, the only person that has lived with Daniel here is Poppy and she is a welcome addition to our relationship. It’s incredible to me just how much I love her, I never had the honour and privilege of meeting Daniel’s daughter, but how he speaks about her, the many photos he has of her and the videos he bravely shared with me make me feel like I know her and that is precious to me. I must be staring as Daniel smiles at me and shakes his head before walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
“You're staring again.” He chuckles.
“I can't help it. You're just that gorgeous.” I grin at him.
“Only to you.” He smiles shyly.
“No,” I shake my head, “Not just to me. I've watched women stare at you, Daniel. Whether you can see it or choose to admit it, you're ridiculously handsome and every female on the planet would kill to have you.”
“Well, you're the one I choose. You're the one my heart beats for. You're the one I adore and worship and love beyond anything. So let them stare, it's all they will ever get to do,” he reaches for my left hand that’s now home to his engagement ring, “And this proves it.” His eyes darken as his lips touch my ring.
“It does, but it's you that needs a ring to ward off all those women.”
“And I'll have one soon. And you will place it on my finger and nothing will ever remove it. Once it's on, I'll never ever take it off.”
“Should that turn me on like it does?” I groan, pressing myself into him.
“Does it turn you on?” he asks, his voice laced with need.
“It does. It really, really does.”
“I love that it makes you feel like that, because my ring on your finger, it turns me on in ways I never thought it would.”
We press our lips together, our tongues sneaking into each others mouths. My hands come up to grip the longer hair at the back of his head and his hands come to rest on my bottom, pulling me closer, pressing his obvious need in to me. Just when I'm about to beg him to take me upstairs and make love to me, the doorbell goes. I groan and pull back.
“Our friends are here.” I whisper.
“Yes they are. Awful timing.”
“Just a bit,” I grin, “But we get to share our exciting news now, come on.” I take his hand and lead him to the front door. I open it up and welcome Ginny and Ryan in. Ginny comes prepared with two bottles of ginger ale and her slippers.
“Please don’t take it personally, I just feel sick all the time and this is the only way I’ll ever be able to eat anything.” she holds up the ginger ale.
“And the slippers?” I laugh.
“Are because my feet get cold and sore on the wood floor.”
“Perfectly reasonable,” Daniel says, “Let me take those.” he takes the bag containing the ginger ale and heads into the kitchen.
“Can I have ice please?” Ginny calls, following him.
“How is she?” I ask Ryan.
“She’s really good. Apart from the sickness. Bloody amazing my wife is.”
“She really, really is.” I agree.
“If a little over emotional right now, she cried before we left because her bag wouldn’t close…”
“Oh dear, let’s go save Daniel then.”
When we reach the kitchen, Ginny has Daniel looking at something on her iPad. Walking over to them I rest my hand on the counter and lean closer.
“What are you looking at?” I ask.
“We’re looking a—” Ginny’s voice trails off when she looks at my hand, “What the hell is that!?” she exclaims.
I look down at where her eyes are trained and Daniel does too, a huge grin spreads over his face and he wraps his arm around my waist. Ryan, still a little behind comes to look at the iPad too.
“What?” he asks, completely unaware of what Ginny was talking about.
“That!” she squeals with delight, pointing at my hand.
“Oh. OH!” he smiles.
“You’re getting married!” Ginny yells, standing and wrapping her arms around both of us.
“Eventually, yes.” I giggle as she squeezes us tight.
“Oh, you two. You’re so perfect together! You’re going to have the most beautiful wedding and the worlds most gorgeous children and live happily ever after!” she tells us, tears falling down her beautiful face.
“Let’s slow down a little shall we, Gigi. They just got engaged!” Ryan laughs at his wife, wrapping her in his arms, “Congratulations, both of you. I know you’ll be very happy together.”
“Thank you.” Daniel smiles, the pride evident on his face.
“We should celebrate!” Ginny announces, wiping her eyes, “Our best friends are getting married, that means we need to celebrate!”
“That is kind of what tonight is, Ginny.” I smile at her.
“With champagne?” she asks excitedly, then frowns, “Oh. I can’t have champagne.”
“Well, how about I put some of your ginger ale in to a champagne glass and you just pretend?” Daniel suggests.
“Mr Lambert, I like your thinking,” she sits back down, “Can you put some ice in it? I can’t drink it without ice!”
“Ginger ale in a champagne flute with ice coming right up!”
“Let me study the ring,” Ginny holds out her hand for mine, “Oh, it’s so beautiful and so perfect. I know how much you love Daniel in blue.”
“I knew you’d get it!” I whisper excitedly.
“I think it’s perfect. I think he is perfect
, for you,” her eyes move to where Daniel is getting drinks ready with Ryan, “This is your happily ever after, Katie Koo.” she smiles.
“I really hope so.” I whisper.
“I know so.” she tells me holding my hand.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I don’t know a lot about photography. I can’t tell you what ISO means or what exposure is right for what setting. I just know what I think is a good photograph and the one filling Daniel’s screen right now is a very good photograph. He looks calm, yet there is an edge to him. His pose says relaxed but his face says something completely different. His face says, I want what's over there. I would have been jealous, except, I know what had been 'over there'. Me.
“Wow.” I breathe leaning a little closer to the screen.
“Wow?” He asks surprised.
“Yeah, like, really wow. You look…Amazing.”
“Do I?”
“Daniel, you have to know how attractive you are?” I tell him, turning so my bottom is resting on the edge of the table, “You have to know that when we go out, women's eyes and libidos follow you.”
“Don't be ridiculous.” he laughs.
“I'm serious. I've seen it. I see it every time we go out. Especially,” I lean closer, “When you're dressed like that. In a suit. All sophisticated and gorgeous. Like the man who knows what he wants and will go to any lengths to get it.”
“I have what I want.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“And what's that?” My breath hitches in my throat as he scoots his chair closer, opening his legs so he cages me in.
“You.” he murmurs right before he kisses me.
I let myself be kissed by my fiancé, I let him pull me to him and I let him kiss me till I’m breathless. It’s a hard life. When we both pull back, panting and a little flushed I laugh. We’re hopeless right now. Since Daniel slid his engagement ring on my finger, we can’t get enough of each other, we spend hours in bed just worshipping one another, the need to be close to each other never quite going away. I have to focus though, I have a busy week leading into next weekend. A big weekend. I’m moving in with Daniel.
“Stop, we need to focus.” I hold my hand up and stand.
“Focus? I was completely focused just then, you distracted me.”
“I need to go back to my house and I need to pack. You can either come with me,” I stop and raise an eyebrow at his cheeky face, “and help me pack. Or you can stay here and I’ll be back later.”
“We both know, if I come with you, we won’t get any packing done.”
“You’re right.”
“So I’ll see you later?”
“Yes. I’ll be back about seven. Don’t misbehave while I’m gone.”
“I’ll be getting these photos ready, I don’t really know why they need photos.”
“The article is about you, about your work, of course they need photos of you.” I shake my head, kissing his cheek.
“I see now why I take the photos.”
“Man up, Mr Lambert! I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll miss you!” he calls as I walk out of the room.
“I’ll miss you too!” I call back.
* * *
I don’t know what makes me decide, I don’t know where the idea comes from even, but tonight I find myself standing with Daniel in his garden, surrounded by darkness and preparing to say goodbye to the two people who bought us together. Daniel hasn't spoken since we stepped outside ten minutes ago. I know he is struggling right now, but I also know, we need to do this and we need to do it together.
“This won’t ever make it easier, Daniel. It won’t diminish your pain, it won’t lessen your longing to have her back. But it might help you to say goodbye, something meaningful to you both.”
“I’m not sure I can, Katie.” his voice comes out in a cracked whisper.
I step in front of him and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beating frantically.
“You’re the bravest, strongest man I know. You’re full of courage and love and kindness. I know you can do this, Daniel, and I’m going to be right here with you. I’m saying goodbye too. We’re saying goodbye together.”
After a few minutes I feel him nod his head, then he says one word. One word that proves his courage to me. One word that shows me just how incredible he is.
“Okay.” He takes the balloon from my hand and ties his message to Poppy onto the cord. He brings the message to his lips and places a long kiss right in the centre. His eyes are closed and there are tears rolling down his cheeks, just visible in the moonlight.
“I love you Pops, I think of you with every beat of my heart, you’re everything I’m proud of in this world. You would love Katie, she helped me breathe again, she turned on the light you took with you when you left. I hope you’re safe and happy wherever you are. I hope you’re proud of me, because I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud to be your Daddy.” his voice breaks then and he doesn’t say anything else. He lets go of the balloon and in the moonlight and the light from the house we watch it float up and away.
“I’m so proud of you.” I whisper, standing on my tiptoes to kiss his wet cheek, “I’m so fiercely proud of you, Daniel.”
“I love you, I love you so much.” he chokes out through his tears.
“Now I need you to help me, I need you to help me say goodbye.”
He holds out his hand and lights the inside of the lantern. When it’s lit I hold it up high and speak the words I’ve been going over and over in my head for days.
“Richard, this is for you. I never made my peace at your funeral, nor in the months that passed after. I grieved for you every day, the pain so strong some days I couldn’t get out of bed. Then you sent me an angel, a man so good and pure and loving. I will always love you, I loved you then. I love you still. I don’t know where you are, but wherever you are, I hope you’re safe. I hope you’re whole and happy. Will you look after Poppy, please? Make sure she is okay? Her Daddy is so important to me. He is my world now. My life,” tears pour down my cheeks and I take a deep breathe and let go of the lantern, “I love you and I love Daniel too. Be happy for me.”
Daniel wraps me in his arms and we both cry silent tears. Tears for Poppy and for Richard and maybe even tears for each other. When I look back, I can see the light from the lantern and as it moves higher and higher up into the sky I can see Poppy’s balloon too. They are going wherever they need to be together.
We stand, huddled in the garden for a long time, just holding each other. Together we have helped each other heal, we have been there for each other when no one else could have been, because to be there, you have to understand the pain, you have to know what it’s like to have someone so precious taken from you, and sadly, Daniel knows that pain, probably more than I do. The pain that broke us and tore us apart also made us unite, it made us become friends and from that friendship love bloomed. A love that is built on kindness and respect, on trust and on friendship. It is a love that grows stronger every single day, a love that will continue to grow as we do, both as a couple and individuals.
“Do you think we can go in now?” I whisper, feeling frozen to my bones.
“I think we should.” his voice is thick with emotion.
“I love you so much more than I thought I could ever love someone again, Daniel.” I tell him.
I look up at his tear stained face, even with tears still in his eyes, his face wet from the many tears that have rolled down his cheeks, he is the strongest man I know.
“And you’re the only person I’ve ever loved like this, the only person who I will ever love like this.”
I smile tearily and lean up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. His arms encircle me and pull me to him. The heat radiating from him seeps into my bones and I know, right there and then, as long as I have Daniel, everything will be okay. As long as I feel the warmth I’ve felt since the first day he walked into my life
, I’ll know I’m okay, I’m alive and I’m whole.
“There is a mocha with my name on it in there.” I grin.
“Is there now?” he grins back.
“Yes, can you hear it? It’s calling to me.”
“God, I love you.” he groans, resting his forehead to mine.