by Maggie Fox
Zane turned away, shaking his head. So his suspicions about Matt’s motives had been right. “You are arrogant at times.”
Matt shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, it makes sense though, doesn’t it? That if she was going to be tempted by anybody, it would have been me she’d have gone for. So I tried it on with her.”
“Do I really have to listen to this?”
“Yes. You do. You need to know that she wasn’t even remotely interested in me. I pulled out all the stops, full-on charm on several occasions. Nothing. Zilch. In fact, in a Faith kind of way, she totally put me in my place.”
Zane frowned. “What did she say?”
“She said I should be ashamed because I was with Emily and she was with you. That you were my best mate and business partner and you deserved better. That I was crazy if I thought she was interested in anyone but you.”
“You deserved it,” Zane said, pleased at how Faith had spoken to Matt. “So what if Faith had gone for it with you? Would you have taken things further with her?”
Matt shook his head vehemently. “Of course not!”
“You’re sure?” Zane checked, eyeing him closely.
“Yes I’m sure. Give me some credit!”
“And if she had gone for it, you’d have told me?”
“Yeah, of course.” Matt nodded. “I’d have hated having to tell you something like that, but yeah. I mean, we both know no guy wants to hear the woman he loves is cheating on him, as I know from Karo and you know from all that business with your parents. But even so, yeah, I’d have told you. Better to know and deal with it than live in ignorance, I reckon.”
“I suppose.” Zane sighed. “But why didn’t you tell me all this ages ago? Explain why you were flirting with her? You knew it was winding me up. You could have said something.”
“No, I couldn’t. That would have been way too weird. You’d have, quite rightly, gone ballistic at me. Plus, if all of this had come out and Faith had found out you knew what was going on, it would have jeopardised your relationship with her.”
Matt peered at Zane sceptically.
“Anyway,” he continued, “if you knew I’d lied about sleeping with Faith, then why did you finish with her? What happened on that camping trip to make you look for an excuse to end things?”
Zane didn’t answer.
“Come on. Spill. I’m not going to give up until you tell me. Oh, right, I get it. You panicked about how heavy things were getting between you two, and I gave you a convenient excuse to get out of the relationship.”
“Something like that.” Zane shrugged. “I was already thinking maybe it was time.”
“Time for what? To end your relationship with the woman you love? Come on, mate. You and Faith, you were the best. I’ve never seen you happier than when you were with her, not even when you were with Holly. What happened?”
“Just something that hit me out of nowhere. Some words I wanted to say to Faith, came close to saying to her in fact, that night in the tent.”
Matt frowned. “What? That you love her?”
Zane shook his head, his voice quiet. “No. We said we loved each other a while ago.”
“Then what?”
“Just two little words.” Zane took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Marry me.”
“I could make a joke out of that and say thanks and I’m flattered, but as you know, I’m already married.” Matt stopped and peered at Zane again. “But this isn’t funny is it? You’re serious aren’t you?”
“Never been more so.”
“Wow.” Matt shook his head. “For once I’m speechless.”
“Well, I suppose that’s one good thing to come out of this conversation,” Zane quipped.
“I know I don’t have the best history in getting relationships right,” Matt went on, “but I must admit I’m confused. You want to marry her, so you finish with her? I don’t get it. But, yeah, hang on. With you, and your history, yeah, it does actually make some weird kind of sense.”
Zane looked away. “I’m not ready for any of this.”
Matt laughed and clapped him on the back. “Your head might say you’re not ready, but I’ve got news for you, mate. The rest of you seems to think otherwise, or you wouldn’t have almost asked Faith to marry you.”
Zane sighed.
“When I was with her I felt different. I honestly thought I could do the whole relationship thing after all. I thought it would be OK and I could handle it. I thought it was all under control – until I almost proposed to her. And then I just felt overwhelmed. And terrified.”
“You’ve got to let go of the past, man. Stop letting it shape your future.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“I know, but you’ve got to try.”
Zane said nothing.
“Look, in my somewhat flimsy defence,” Matt continued, “I flirted with her as well to provoke you, to get you to tell her the truth. If you guys were going to have any chance at a future, you had to tell her. She could see at times you were paranoid, insecure, jealous, possessive, but she didn’t understand why—”
“Yeah, yeah, OK,” Zane said, holding his hands up to silence Matt. “I get the message. You don’t need to pester either of us anymore. I’ve told her everything.”
“What?” Matt looked at him, a stunned expression on his face.
“I told her everything tonight.”
“What did she say?”
“I didn’t give her much chance to say anything.” Zane said with a shrug. “I told her I wanted her to take some time before she made a decision about whether or not we had a chance at a future together.”
“She’ll be fine,” Matt said. “You did the right thing. Look I know you don’t like the fact that Faith and I have a history, but I’m just saying: I know her – and Faith will, I’m sure, come through for you. She loves you. You’ll work it out together. The point of all this is that I can honestly say she’s not interested in anybody but you. I know you find it difficult, but believe me, you can trust her. Faith is as besotted with you as you are with her. Trust her and let this thing between you guys happen. Did you tell her how you really feel about her?”
“No. I’m not ready for all this, Matt. Not for marriage. Not yet.”
“I think you are ready. You’re just fighting it at the moment.”
Zane peered at Matt. “You’re a fine one to talk. You played the field for years with never any sign of committing to one woman, until you met Karo. How did you know she was the one? How did it feel when you knew you wanted to marry her?”
Matt looked uncomfortable.
“I just felt different with her I guess. I’m the first to admit Karo’s a firecracker, and I’ve always had my hands full with her. She was – still is – a challenge, but that’s one of the many things I love about her. One night, I looked at her and thought: This is it. I don’t want another woman, only her. She turned my world upside down. Deep down I suppose I still feel the same way. This messing around with other women these last few months, even dating Emily, I’m not really interested. It’s just the thrill of the chase. Being able to prove to myself that I’ve still got it and can get women if I want to. But at the end of the day all I actually want is Karo. I want my wife back. She’s still the one for me. I’m just not sure if I’m still the one for her.”
Matt paused and then fixed Zane with a questioningly look.
“If you know Faith is the one, why didn’t you tell her tonight how you really feel about her? Tell her you love her. Tell her you’re even contemplating marriage, something which scares the hell out of you after seeing what your parents went through.”
“Because I don’t want to influence her decision about us trying again. If she wants me, it has to be entirely her choice. Not one I’ve tried to persuade her into.”
“You’re too much of a martyr, Zane. You want her, you should have told her and got her back.” He paused, glanced at Zane and then asked, “Did you ever tell Holly all t
hat stuff about your parents?”
Zane nodded.
“What happened?”
“Two weeks later, she left Austria,” Zane replied, his voice flat.
“I’m sorry, man. I thought she left ‘cos of the whole backpacking thing.”
“Partly that, and partly, I think, because what I said freaked her out. Can we climb now?” Zane was keen to change the topic of conversation.
Matt reached for Zane’s arm and pulled him back.
“If you want a future with Faith, you have to forgive your mum for the past and move on from it. I know it’s tough, but that’s what I’m trying to do with Karo. Forgive. I think you and I have both learnt a lot about relationships these past few months. I know now that I can’t do this anymore, mate. I don’t want Faith, or Emily, and I don’t want to mess around anymore either. I just want Karo. I said I wanted to keep my trial separation a secret over here so I could truly live the single life and see how I felt about it. Now I know I have the answer. I know what I want. I don’t want the single life. I want to fly to Austria. I need to see Karo and try to sort things out between us. I need to see if we can try again. Come back here together, so we can have a fresh start somewhere completely new.”
Zane nodded.
“Sure. If that’s what you want to do, just do it.”
“Would it be all right for me to disappear to Austria for a while though? It’s still a couple of weeks to Christmas, and I don’t want to cause problems at the Centre.”
“Don’t be stupid. It’s fine. Go and do whatever you need to for your marriage. Things are starting to quieten down in the run-up to the festivities anyway. I can manage the bookings with the other guys. You go. How soon are you looking to get a flight?”
“Soon as I can really.”
“OK. Does Karo know you’re going out there?”
“In a way.” Matt looked a bit awkward. “We’ve been in touch, had chats on the phone and I said I might try to get over there, and she seemed really keen on the idea. I didn’t say anything definite though, not yet.”
“Fine. Like I said, do whatever you need to. Let me know if you want a lift to the airport.”
Matt slapped Zane on the back. “You’re a good mate, Zane Ferguson, you know that?”
“Yep, I do.”
“Fancy living on the edge?” Matt asked, a grin now on his face. “Want to climb without harnesses and ropes?”
After what Zane had been through tonight he felt like pushing things to the extreme to try to burn off some of the anxiety still bubbling away inside him. Plus, climbing without the safety gear would truly distract him from thoughts of Faith. Nothing focusses the mind better on the job in hand than the prospect of crashing to the ground with one wrong move, even if the safety mats were still out.
“Absolutely,” he said, unbuckling his harness.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Three in the morning. Faith stared at the clock. Still awake. She hadn’t bothered to get undressed or go to bed when she’d got back from Zane’s cottage earlier. Instead, she’d switched the TV on and slumped on the sofa, going over and over things in her head.
Should she go back?
This was crazy.
Fifteen minutes later she found herself standing in front of his cottage. There were still no lights on, but now his car was parked outside. He was home, but probably asleep.
Well, at least one of them was getting some sleep.
Not for long, though.
Faith knocked on the front door and stepped back to look at the upstairs windows. Had she knocked loud enough? Had he heard her? Would he even answer the door if he had?
A bedroom light went on.
Moments later an outside light came on and she heard the front door being unlocked.
Zane blinked in the light.
“Faith? What are you doing here? Are you OK?”
“We need to talk.”
“Now? It’s three in the morning.”
“Yes. Now.”
Faith pushed past him into the cottage and he closed the door behind her. She looked at him. Dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt, his hair dishevelled, his eyes looking tired.
“I thought we said we’d give it a day or so.”
“I know we did. But I need to talk to you now.”
“Faith, look—”
She held up a hand. “No. Just listen. Now it’s my turn to have a say. I’ve made up my mind.”
Zane pushed his fingers through his hair and then shook his head as if accepting his fate. “OK.”
“I called earlier but you were out.” Faith waited for an explanation.
“I was at Carrdale. I couldn’t sleep so I went to use the indoor climbing wall, try to burn off some energy. Matt was there too. Turned out he couldn’t sleep either.”
He glanced at her.
“We talked a few things through. He’s going to book a flight to Austria and go and see Karo, try to sort things out. He says he wants to see if they can make their marriage work.”
Faith nodded. “I truly hope that Karo feels the same way. But if they do get back together, where does that leave you and Carrdale?”
“Matt says if they are going to try again then he’s going to try to persuade her to move over here with him, so they can have a completely fresh start. Whichever way things turn out, he should be back at Carrdale.”
“Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed for both of them, eh?”
Zane nodded and pushed a hand through his hair again, looking nervous. “Do you want a drink or something?”
“No. I need to tell you something. Can you sit down and listen?”
“OK.” Zane flopped onto the sofa, tucking a cushion behind him.
“Right.” Faith sat next to him, took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Well, I have to be honest and say I can’t ignore all the things you told me earlier. I’m so sorry all of those things happened and that you got hurt. I want to do anything I can to ease some of that pain for you. And I do feel sorry for what you went through. I feel angry on your behalf. But none of that is out of sympathy or pity. It’s because I love you. I love you and I want to be with you.”
She rushed on, keen to get all the words out.
“I know we can work through this. I know we can be amazing together. We were before, and we can be again. Let me help you with all of this. Purely because I love you, not for any other reason. Please don’t fight me on this, Zane, because I won’t give up on you or on us. I want to be with you. I want you. I want us.”
Zane looked at her. Properly. His blue eyes staring into her own. He seemed uncertain. “You’re sure?”
She nodded, stroking a hand gently down his cheek. “I’m two hundred per cent positive.”
“OK.” He nodded. “I want us to be back together, and I’m sorry for all of…”
His voice trailed off, the sentence unfinished.
“No apologies,” Faith said, kissing him softly on the lips. He returned her kiss, slipping a hand to her waist and pressing her closer to him.
She felt relief surge through her.
It was going to be OK. She knew it was. It might take some time, but she was in no rush.
“So now what happens?” she asked, as she snuggled closer to him on the sofa.
Zane eased her out of the way and got to his feet. For a moment she wondered what he was going to say or do. He walked to the front door and turned the key, crossed the room back to where she was sitting on the sofa, then offered her his hand, pulling her to her feet.
She said nothing as he led her towards the stairs, switching off the living room lights as she followed him up to his bedroom.
All he said was, “Stay with me.”
She had a feeling that he didn’t mean just for the night.
Epilogue
Eighteen months later…
“Do I look OK?”
Faith smiled and looped her arms around Zane’s waist from behind. “You look gorg
eous. Stop fussing with your tie.”
“You know I hate wearing a tie.”
“I do know, but the occasion demands it. And you do look very good in it.”
Faith stepped back and did a little twirl. “What about me? Will I do?”
Zane looked her up and down appreciatively. “Absolutely. What time is it again? Maybe we’ve got ten minutes before we have to be at the Centre?”
Faith laughed and kissed him.
“Tempting as a whole ten minutes of passion sounds, I think we’d better get going or we’ll be in trouble.”
The parking area at Carrdale was packed as Zane negotiated his way through the cars towards his reserved spot in the Staff Only area at the back of the Centre.
Karo spotted them and waved. “Hi, guys! Wow, don’t you two look amazing!”
Faith smiled. She hadn’t expected to like Karo, not after the things she’d heard about her. When Matt had arrived back from Austria that Christmas with a wife in tow, Faith had worried things would be difficult all round. Would Karo continue to mess with Matt’s heart and ruin things for him at Carrdale? How would the four of them get on, having to work in close proximity?
But things had turned out fine. To Faith’s surprise, she and Karo got on very well. This was helped by the fact Karo and Matt had sorted things out and were now happy and totally committed to each other. A few months after Karo had appeared in Derbyshire with Matt, they had announced she was two months pregnant with their first child.
Motherhood suited Karo. She’d become a real Earth Mother, taking to the role like the proverbial duck to water. Matt was also proving to be a great dad for their son Jacob. As well as becoming a mother, Karo had also been busy investing some of her family money into expanding the Carrdale Centre.
They had received so many enquiries about weddings that they’d taken the plunge and purchased a wedding yurt, having acquired all of the necessary licences to hold weddings at the Centre. Not just the receptions, but the ceremonies as well. Karo now ran the weddings side of the business. She was an excellent multi-tasker and scarily super-efficient.