by Jane Harper
‘I’m here,’ she said. ‘Hey, look. I was just –’
‘Jesus, please don’t go wandering off.’
‘Oh. I’m sorry.’
She looked crestfallen and Sean felt bad.
‘It’s okay,’ he said, and then they both started speaking at the same time.
‘Sorry,’ Gabby said again. ‘You go.’
‘I was going to say we can get through, but we’ll have to be quick. If you still want to?’
‘Yeah.’ Her smile was back. ‘Please. If you don’t mind.’
‘I don’t mind.’
Sean led the way to the second tunnel, shining the light ahead of them.
‘Watch your head as you come through here,’ he said, and almost without thinking reached out to guide her over the dip. He felt Gabby’s palm slide into his and he gripped it.
‘It’s so dark,’ she said. A beat passed, then two, and only then did she drop his hand. He could still feel the warm spots where her fingers had been.
‘Follow the light, you’ll be okay.’
‘Where do all these tunnels go?’ she said as he led them past a first fork and took the second one, turning again a few steps later.
‘Everywhere,’ Sean said.
They moved along until the walls opened wider and the roof rose to create a small clearing. Sean stopped there. He could feel the water lapping at his feet now.
‘We probably shouldn’t go any further. The weather’s really coming in.’
‘No, that’s okay.’ In the soft torchlight, Gabby’s face glowed. ‘This is really cool. Thanks for showing me.’
‘You’re welcome.’
The rock circled them as they stood close together in the centre. The sound of the rain and sea floated in from outside and bounced around, the peaceful rhythm amplified and then dulled by the complex honeycomb of caves. Gabby walked a few paces, examining something on the near wall as Sean watched.
She could – almost – have been one of The Survivors. Standing there, outlined by the weak light, her back turned and the salt water lapping at her feet. Then she moved. Just a small shift in weight and the in-out of breath, but enough to break the illusion before it was fully formed.
Gabby was still looking away, focused on something he couldn’t make out in the dark. Somewhere, a wave broke and the sea surged, fresh and cold against Sean’s own legs as it fizzed white around Gabby’s bare calves. Sean watched as she reached down with her free hand and gathered her skirt hem above her knees. The air was filled with a fine haze and her t-shirt clung to her back and her waist.
The sea swelled again, and this time the drag of the undertow was strong enough that he took a step towards her. She didn’t notice. Her face was tilted down, the silver chain of her necklace glinting against her collarbone as she leaned forward to examine something in the water. She dropped her skirt hem as the tide rushed out again, and lifted a hand to sweep aside her ponytail that had fallen over one shoulder. It was heavy from the sea spray. A single strand of hair had caught in the corner of her mouth and she brushed it free, her fingertips running across her lips.
Sean felt a tightness spread across his chest and shoulders.
If you’re going to do it –
The thought whispered beneath the rush of a wave. The undertow pulled again. He fought it, briefly, then took another step. She heard him now, or sensed him at least. Some disruption in the natural rhythm flowing around her.
If you’re going to do it –
She looked up. He sucked in a breath of salt-soaked air.
Do it now.
Sean steeled himself, then all at once stepped in, took her warm hand in his and closed his eyes.
His lips brushed hers and the sensation was there and then immediately gone. She had pulled clean away before he even realised it. He looked down, his lips still tingling, his palm holding nothing but cool air. He could still hear her breathing, but it sounded different now.
Time stretched out, long and tortuous. Sean simply couldn’t look up. When she still didn’t say anything, he forced himself to lift his head and meet her eyes. She was no longer smiling in the torchlight.
Her expression was one of shock and something else. It took him longer than it should have to place it, and as soon as he did, he immediately wished he hadn’t. Embarrassment. And not entirely for her, he realised with a hot flush of shame. Gabby was embarrassed for him. Sean scrambled to think of something to say, anything at all, but his throat burned with humiliation. He stood there, in the raw and excruciating silence, and felt something barbed slowly unfurl inside him.
‘Sean –’
‘What?’ The word sounded hard to his own ears and he could hear the note of attack in it. He was relieved. For an awful moment, he’d thought his voice might crack.
‘Nothing. I’m really sorry –’ Gabby started.
‘What for? I don’t care.’ That hard note again. Sean tried to laugh it off, but it came out wrong. He saw Gabby take a small step back and the tiny movement infuriated him.
‘I’m sorry.’ She raised her finger and touched her lips, nervous and exploratory. ‘I didn’t realise you were going to –’ She swallowed. ‘I’ve never actually –’
She suddenly looked so young, Sean realised, the clarity slicing sharp and deep.
‘For God’s sake,’ he said, because he couldn’t find the words he wanted. ‘Don’t be such a baby.’
Gabby blinked, hurt. She took another small step away from him.
‘I mean, you’re the one who asked me to bring you here,’ he said.
‘I wanted to find my sister.’
‘Bullshit. Don’t give me that.’
‘It’s true.’
‘Really? That’s not why you wanted to come here? To “do things”?’ He mimicked Gabby with such accuracy that she flinched.
‘No, I just wanted to see the caves and find my sister.’
And from the way she said it, Sean knew it was true. The humiliation of even thinking that she had wanted anything else left him breathless.
‘I need to find Olivia,’ Gabby said again. She took a ragged breath. ‘Olivia!’ Her voice wavered as she called out. She started crying now, rolling childish tears. There was no answer. ‘Olivia!’ She turned to Sean. ‘I have to go home now. Please.’
Sean stared at her, and in his mind flashed a terrible image of Olivia and Kieran emerging from one of the dark passages to see him here, alone with this crying girl. The thought was followed instantly by another realisation.
They would find out.
A cold horror washed over him. Whatever he did now, or didn’t do, they would hear about this. And Ash would too. And all of Olivia’s friends, and then everyone else. Everyone they’d gone to school with, everyone they saw around town. They’d all hear how Sean had tried it on with Olivia’s little sister and how it had all gone really badly wrong.
‘Please.’ Gabby’s face was shiny with tears.
‘Just shut up a minute. Let me think.’ But he couldn’t. He couldn’t think of any way to avoid what was coming to him. Kieran and Ash would be brutal. They would absolutely rip him apart, laughing themselves sick the whole time. They would never, in his whole life, let him forget this. Olivia wouldn’t talk to him anymore. His parents would find out, and Toby as well. Toby would laugh too.
‘Please. I want to go home.’
‘Jesus.’ Sean shook his head, his heart pounding with the knowledge of what was waiting for him outside that cave. ‘So just bloody go, Gabby.’
‘I don’t know the way.’
Maybe he could leave Evelyn Bay. The thought unravelled in front of Sean like a lifeline. Maybe he could move somewhere interstate. He felt a tiny burst of hope. Maybe he could do that. Could he? He tried to think.
‘The floor’s wet. My legs are getting wet. The water’s c
oming in. Please.’
‘Bloody hell, Gabby.’ But she was right. Sean looked down and felt the water pulse higher against his own skin and the sensation brought him crashing back to the present.
‘Christ. Yeah, okay, follow me.’ Sean pushed past her, the back of his hand brushing hers. He snatched it away as though he’d been burned. ‘Hurry up.’
That’s what he would do. He would leave Evelyn Bay. He would pack his stuff and book a flight and move somewhere else. And he’d make new friends, and meet new people, and everyone would forget all about this eventually.
The thoughts ran through his head on a chattering loop as he felt his way through the tunnels. The water was higher than he had realised. He held his torch with one hand and felt the roof with the other as it dipped and lowered. At the junction, the water was thigh-deep now and he had to duck his head to get through the opening.
‘Wait.’ He heard splashing behind him. ‘Sean. Wait.’ Gabby’s voice had a muffled directionless quality.
‘This way,’ he called, but didn’t stop. He couldn’t look at her. He could just hear her splashing over the sound of the rain now hammering down outside.
The water was pouring from the sky in sheets as he emerged into a daylight that was more like night, and he was relieved as the rain hit his face, disguising the first few stinging tears that threatened to slip out. Sean slowed when he hit the spot where the beach usually lay and, against his better judgement, looked back.
‘This way,’ he called again into the entrance of the cave.
And he heard – he was sure he heard, above the howl of the wind and the driving rain and the rush of the ocean bearing down – the splash of movement in the dark. Gabby was right behind him, somewhere.
He couldn’t face her. Not out here in the open, no matter how rapidly the light was fading. He couldn’t stand the thought of that awful long walk back to the marina together, every step agonising and shameful.
‘This way,’ Sean called again.
Then he turned and waded through the water to the path and the cliffs. He didn’t look back as the greedy sea lapped against the rock. He started climbing. He needed to hurry. The storm was coming in.
Chapter 39
Kieran stared at Sean, his head pounding. The sea water rushed in and out of the North Cave, foaming white against the rock. Kieran looked into its empty mouth and felt sick.
‘I thought she was behind me.’ Sean’s voice was quiet. The waves were swirling around his legs now. ‘She had a torch. I thought she was following me out.’
Kieran couldn’t tell whether Sean was telling the truth, or had managed to convince himself it was the truth. Kieran’s own thoughts were clamouring, falling over each other as he tried to make sense of things. He said the first thing that rang true.
‘Did Ash and I really give you that much shit?’
Sean just shook his head. ‘It’s not your fault.’
Kieran stared at him across the water. ‘Sean? Mate? I’m sorry. I really am. You didn’t deserve that. Not from Ash, and definitely not from me.’
Sean rubbed a hand over his eyes. At last, he opened his mouth. ‘I’m pretty sure Toby and Finn found my note.’
Kieran thought of the message scribbled in haste by Sean as Gabby waited on the dock.
4.15 pm. You were late. Gone to caves.
‘After I left here, I went straight back to the marina,’ Sean said. ‘I thought Gabby would follow me there, to get her backpack from the boat. But the boat was gone. I had a couple of missed calls from Toby on my phone, but the signal was already patchy by then. The weather was –’ He broke off. ‘It was bad.’
Kieran didn’t say anything. He knew how bad the weather had been. He remembered it very well.
Sean was also silent for a moment. ‘The storm was so much worse than I’d expected. I know Toby would have been worried about me out here. Finn too.’ He breathed out. ‘I think they came looking for me.’
Kieran took another step closer. ‘They might have gone out looking for you,’ he found himself saying, ‘but the emergency call came in for me.’
Sean shook his head. ‘They didn’t head out here because of you.’
The water was lapping at Sean’s thighs now but he still didn’t move, simply staring into the grey-green sea with an odd look on his face.
‘What did you think when Gabby’s bag washed up?’ Kieran said.
‘I was relieved. I didn’t know how badly the boat was damaged so I was worried they’d find her bag still in the box, but I guess it got washed away in the accident.’
It hadn’t, Kieran knew now, but looking at Sean standing deep in the water, he didn’t want to get into it.
‘Gabby’s name was all around town when Trish realised she was gone,’ Sean went on. ‘I was so scared when she didn’t come back. Then I was scared that she would, and that she’d tell everyone what I’d done. But when her bag washed up, it all kind of stopped. Everyone was so worried about other things. Toby and Finn were still dead and you were back from hospital and we had the funerals, and after all that was over, the whole thing with Gabby –’ Sean opened his hands in the empty air. ‘It was weird. It felt in some ways like it had never happened.’
‘Until Bronte?’
Sean closed his eyes as though in pain. ‘Yeah. Until then.’
Chapter 40
The beach outside Fisherman’s Cottage was dark, even in the moonlight. The warmth of the day had disappeared with the sun hours earlier and that stretch of shoreline was empty, the daytime visitors all long gone.
Sean stopped outside the cottage, relieved to see lights still burning through the windows. It was late, after 11.30 pm already according to his phone, but he could tell from the shadow of movement inside that someone was still up. He dusted the sand off his feet and pulled his shoes back on before walking up the side path to the front door. He thought that was better than knocking on the back. He didn’t want to give Bronte a heart attack.
Sean rang the bell and heard the sound of footsteps in the hall. The front door opened, sending a shaft of light onto the path. Bronte’s face appeared in the gap. Her look of mild suspicion turned to surprise when she saw Sean standing there.
‘Oh, hello. I thought –’ Bronte started.
‘Sorry –’ he said at the same time.
They both stopped.
‘Sorry to turn up like this so late,’ Sean tried again.
‘No, it’s okay.’ The door opened wider. ‘I thought you were Liam. He just left.’ Bronte glanced over Sean’s shoulder, as though perhaps half expecting to see his nephew still loitering. She looked a little relieved that he wasn’t. The road was empty. ‘What brings you here?’
‘I wondered if I could grab my torch back? That yellow waterproof one that Ash gave you?’
‘Oh. Sure.’ The door opened all the way and Bronte stepped aside to let him in. She was still wearing her orange waitress uniform, but had taken her hair down. ‘Sorry to have kept it so long. I hadn’t realised you needed it.’
‘It’s okay. But I was checking the weather and it looks like tomorrow might be my last chance for a while to get right down inside the wreck.’ Sean followed her in. The house smelled cool and fresh. ‘I’ve got this group from Norway coming soon, so I need to get in while I can.’
‘No worries. It’s in here.’ Bronte led him down the hall towards the glow spilling out from her bedroom. ‘Olivia was going on again about stuff lying around, so I put it away.’ She flashed a smile at him. ‘Do not tell her I said that, it’ll make things worse.’
‘You guys not getting along?’
‘Oh. We’re okay.’ Bronte shrugged. ‘It’s not really me she’s annoyed with.’
‘No?’
She laughed. ‘Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway. But I know she hates work. And I’m not sure what’s wrong with her mum, but
there’s some issue there. Maybe when I’m gone she’ll let Ash move in here. She’d be happier with him around.’
‘Maybe. I’m not sure they’re thinking about that, though.’
Bronte looked at him in surprise. ‘Ash is. For sure.’
‘Has he said something?’
‘No, but he’s obviously crazy in love with her,’ she said with a smile. ‘He’s dying to get serious if Liv would let herself admit how much she really likes him.’
Sean couldn’t help but smile himself at her enthusiasm. ‘So you reckon I’ll be looking for a new housemate of my own before too long?’
‘I’m afraid so. That is a solid prediction. I mean, I get that Ash might not be Liv’s usual type in Melbourne or whatever, but they’re actually really lovely together when they just relax.’
Bronte moved around the bed to her desk, which was crammed with art supplies. Sean hovered in the doorway and she waved him in with one hand while rummaging through a drawer with the other. ‘Take a seat,’ she said. ‘It’s in one of these.’
The bed was the only option, so Sean moved her open laptop closer to the pillow and sat on the edge. He looked past Bronte to the window above her desk. The blind was open and he could see the black ocean beyond. He frowned.
‘Hey, listen, are you sure you don’t need that torch anymore? I really could do with that waterproof one back but I’ve got a different one at home you could –’
‘No, honestly, it’s fine.’
‘What about those noises you heard? Do you feel safe enough without it, or –?’
‘Yeah. I do. But thank you.’ Bronte glanced at the window, a little awkward now. ‘I’m pretty sure it was just that man from up the road. You know, Brian? The one with dementia. I was helping his wife go through some stuff in their shed the other day and she let slip that he’d been wandering. Maybe don’t spread that around, I think she was a bit embarrassed. She shouldn’t be, though.’ Bronte pushed her hair off her forehead as she turned back to the drawer. ‘My grandma was ill with the same thing. I didn’t like to say anything earlier in the Surf and Turf in front of your friend, because Brian’s his dad, right? It felt a bit personal – oh –’ She straightened with a smile on her face and the torch in her hand. ‘Here it is. How’s everything going with the wreck anyway?’