The Truth About Lennon

by K. L. Grayson

  “A tea party!”

  Lennon looks down at Nova. “I was thinking more along the lines of a nap.”

  Wrinkling her nose, Nova shakes her head. “I don’t take naps.”

  “Bummer.” Lennon looks up at me. “I guess we’re having a tea party.”

  Nova tugs on Lennon hand, but I manage to squeeze in a kiss for both of them before they head out.

  My two girls.

  I stand at the door, watching as Lennon loads my daughter into the car. Then I watch them pull away, and I keep watching until Lennon’s car disappears. When I turn around, Sara is standing against the desk, a sly grin pulling at her lips.

  “You’re in love,” she says in a sing-song voice.

  “No, I’m not,” I lie, walking past her. Of course I’m in love with her.

  “You know,” she hollers, catching me before I slip out the door, “the sooner you admit it to yourself, the easier it’ll be.”

  Oh I’ve already admitted it to myself. Now I have to tell Lennon.

  Nova is in the middle of pouring me a glass of imaginary tea when my phone rings. I glance down and see my mother’s name flash across the screen.

  What in the world could she possibly want?

  I haven’t heard a word from her since I left New York, and normally she has her assistant call me if she needs something. So if she’s calling, it can really only mean one of two things: either she dialed the wrong number or something is wrong.

  Wetting my lips, I look at Nova and back at the phone.

  Fuck it. She hasn’t bothered to call until now, so why should I interrupt my tea party to answer? I shouldn’t.

  There. That’s settled.

  Setting my phone on the table, I pick up the cup of tea—pinky poised in the air—and take a dramatic sip.

  “Oh, no!” Nova gasps, setting her glass down. “You drank from the wrong glass. That’s poison.”

  Wrapping my hands around my throat, I pretend to choke. “Help me.”

  “I can’t help you,” Nova exclaims. “The only thing that can save you is the prince.”

  Toppling out of the chair, I land softly on the floor. Nova rushes around the table with her stuffed frog and presses his face to my lips.

  “There,” she sighs dramatically. “You’re saved.”

  Propping myself up on an elbow, I wipe a hand across my forehead. “Whew! That was a close one.”

  She nods and takes her seat again at the table. “Now for the real tea,” she says, pouring me a new glass. When I reach for it, my phone lights up again with my mother’s name.

  I know she didn’t dial the wrong number twice.

  “Nova, I’m going to go into the kitchen and answer this call. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “Okay. Can you take these grapes with you, please?” she asks. “We’re done with them.” I take the bowl, and Nova shoves a doll in my seat and goes about her tea party.

  Once I’m in the kitchen and out of earshot, I answer. “Hello?”

  “Lennon.” My mother’s curt tone instantly pisses me off.

  Rolling my eyes, I stuff a grape in my mouth. “Mother,” I say, equally as curt.

  “How is Texas?” she asks.

  “Better than New York.”

  She scoffs, but lucky for her, she doesn’t try to argue with me. It’s an argument she won’t win.

  “Have you talked to Mathis?”

  I sputter, inhaling chunks of grape before coughing them back out. “No. God, no. Why would I talk to Mathis?”

  “He feels horrible about what happened.”

  “He should.”

  Why the fuck does she want to talk about Mathis? I pace the kitchen. The thought of talking to Mathis makes me twitchy, and I have to do something to keep myself occupied.

  “He apologized to your father and me. Then he took us out to that fancy restaurant you two used to eat at. What was it called?” Her voice is too sugary sweet, her words luring me into answering, but I bite my tongue.

  “What do you want, Mom? Is this why you called? You want to talk about Mathis?”

  She sighs, and the disappointment is obvious. She’s never tried to hide it. She’s been on me for a while now to give Mathis another chance.

  “You need to get over it, Lennon. I think you’ve made him pay enough for his indiscretions, don’t you?”

  “Do you even hear yourself right now? After everything he’s put me through, you still want me to marry him? You’re insane.”

  She tries to interrupt, but I’m having no part of it. It’s time she listens.

  “Mathis and I have been over for a year. A year, Mother. And we’re not getting back together. Ever. It will never happen, so get that through your head. And when I do decide to get married, you can bet your ass it’ll be to a man who deserves my love, one who would rather die than hurt me, one who wouldn’t think about treating me with anything less than the respect I deserve.”

  “You two were together for five years, Lennon. And you’re going to throw all of that away because of one mistake?”

  “Mistake? Mistake! Him fucking my best friend was a mistake?” I yell, quickly remembering Nova in the other room.

  I glance around the corner, and she’s still playing, seemingly unaware of my outburst.

  “He cheated on me!” I whisper-yell, frustrated that I have to defend myself. “And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Don’t even get me started on the hell he put me through after that.”

  She sighs. “Does this have to do with that neighbor guy of yours? What’s his name?” My blood runs cold as she clicks her tongue. “Nick, is it?”

  “How do you know about him?”

  “No, not Nick. Noah.” I can hear her snap through the phone. “Handsome thing he is, cute daughter, too. Although her story is a bit tragic, don’t you think?” The hair on the back of my neck stands up at the mention of Nova.

  “Answer me. How do you know about him?”

  “You’re my only child, Lennon. Did you really think I’d let you run off to a foreign town and not keep tabs on you?”

  “I didn’t run off,” I argue.

  “That’s neither here nor there. I wonder what Noah would think of his precious Lennon if he knew the truth behind what brought her to Texas.”

  Vibrations pulse through my body. My heart slams inside my chest, my teeth threatening to chatter because of all the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

  “What makes you think I haven’t told him?”

  “Oh, come on, Leni. You don’t think your own mother knows you?”

  Not really. But damn it if she isn’t right about this.

  “You wouldn’t do that to me.”

  “I would.”

  I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter. None of it’s true. You know that; he’ll know that.”

  “It was all over the news. All I would have to do is show him a few articles, maybe a clip from TV, and he’d wash his hands of you faster than you could blink. You’re lucky he hasn’t already figured it out.”

  “No.” Pacing across the kitchen floor, I stop in front of the window and stare at Noah’s house across the yard. “He would believe me. All I have to do is explain, and he would believe me.”

  “Really? You think he’d be that forgiving, after everything he’s been through? After everything his daughter has been through?”

  “None of it’s true!” I yell, infuriated. “You know damn well those drugs weren’t mine!”

  “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

  “Pictures lie. God, Mother.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I can feel a few tears slip. “Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just let me be happy?”

  “You can be happy,” she says, her voice losing some of its edge. “With Mathis. You two are cut from the same cloth. Sure, he’s made mistakes. What man hasn’t? But he’s atoned for them.”

  Running a hand over my face, I collapse onto a kitchen chair. “We’re talking in circles, and I really can’t do this wi
th you right now. I have company.”

  “Mathis is coming to get you.”

  Her words stop me cold. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why she keeps pushing him on me. Why does it matter so much to her?

  “Excuse me?”

  “He’s coming to Texas, and you will talk to him.”

  “No, I won’t.”

  “You will,” she repeats, a hard edge to her proper voice. “If you just listen to what he has to say, I know you’ll see things more clearly. You two can stay there for a couple of weeks, continue to let things die down, and use the time to reconnect. It’ll be good for both of you. And then you can come home and put everything behind you.”

  “You’re not listening to me—”

  “No! You’re not listening to me. Do you think it’s easy being married to your father? Living up to everything he represents? No. But it’s not about me. It’s about him. He’s given me the life I’ve always wanted—the sort of life Mathis can give you, if you’ll just let him.”

  “Did it occur to you that maybe I don’t want that life?”

  “Why on Earth wouldn’t you?”

  My heart drops. She’s never been a big part of my life, popping in and out when it’s convenient for her, but it’s clear now just how little she knows about me.

  “I shouldn’t have to explain it to you,” I say, and then I hang up.

  Seconds pass, maybe minutes or hours. Who the hell knows? But our conversation plays on repeat in my head, and I know I need to talk to Noah. It’s time he learns the truth, and I’d rather it be from me than someone else.

  My thoughts are interrupted by knocking on the front door, and I take a deep breath before I go to answer. Scary as the prospect may be, I resign myself to telling him as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

  The door swings open, and Lennon’s usually vibrant face is flat, her eyes void of the sparkle I’ve come to expect and love.

  Love.

  There’s that word again.

  It’s hard to believe I fell in love with her after such a short time.

  But I do, I love her. I Love everything about her.

  I love the way she smiles at me, all sexy and sated, after a round of crazy-hot sex. I even love the way she looks moving around my house like she owns the damn place. And let’s not forget how much I love the way she interacts with my daughter. Lennon is everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman—sexy, sweet, kind, loyal, funny, smart.

  What’s not to love, besides the current look on her face?

  “Everything okay?”

  Lennon shivers slightly as a breeze whips through the air. Her eyes are full, round, and filling with tears, but it isn’t sadness I see, it’s pain. That’s heartache in its purest form shining back at me.

  “Lennon.” I pull her into my arms, and she curls herself around me, holding on as though she’ll fall if she lets go. And that’s okay with me because I like her here. Scratch that, I love her here, in my arms where I can keep her safe and whisper away her demons. “Tell me what’s wrong. Did Nova do something to upset you?”

  Shaking her head, Lennon pulls back and wipes a hand across her nose. “No. She’s been perfect. She’s in the other room having a tea party. It’s my mother.”

  I nudge Lennon into the entryway of her house and shut the door. “What happened?”

  “My mother happened.”

  Shit. “Keep talking.”

  “She called. I haven’t heard from her in a freaking month, Noah, and she called to tell me I need to give Mathis another chance.”

  Just the mention of his name makes me angry. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Over my dead body will Lennon take him back. She’s mine. “After everything he did?”

  Lennon nods, sniffling. “Can you believe that? Mathis and I broke up a year ago, and she still wants us together. She’s my mother, Noah…” Tears fill Lennon’s eyes again, spilling down her flushed cheeks, and I thread my fingers through her hair, holding her to me. “She should want me to be happy, but she…she threatened me, and—”

  The hand I’ve been running along Lennon’s back stops. “What do you mean, she threatened you? With what?”

  When Lennon untangles herself from my arms, her red, puffy eyes dart around the room, refusing to look at me. “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing if it’s got you this worked up.”

  Pressing her fingers to her eyes, she wipes away the wetness. She finally looks up at me, and for a moment I think she’s about to speak. But then…

  “Daddy!” Nova zooms toward me, stopping short when she sees Lennon. “What’s wrong?” she asks.

  Lennon bends down until she’s eye to eye with my little girl. “Nothing,” she lies. “I’m just having a sad moment, but you know what?”

  Nova shakes her head, still looking unsure about Lennon’s tears.

  Placing her hands on Nova’s arms, Lennon gives her a tremulous smile. “I had so much fun with you today. Can we do this again soon?”

  Still looking uncertain, Nova nods. “I had fun today, too.” She takes a hesitant step forward and then another until she’s in Lennon’s arms. She wraps her arms around Lennon’s neck and squeezes with all her might. “Please don’t cry.”

  Nova’s words have the opposite effect, and when Lennon squeezes her eyes shut, another wave of tears rushes down her face.

  “I love you,” Nova whispers, glancing up at me.

  Those three words from the heart of my daughter to the woman I’ve fallen for shatter me in the best possible way.

  “I love you, too,” Lennon replies, running a hand down Nova’s back. “So much.”

  Hearing this nearly causes me to lose my shit. Lennon had already knocked down the walls around my heart, but if there was even a chunk of concrete left, she just obliterated it.

  After several long seconds, Lennon pulls back and once again wipes the wetness from her face. “You two should go home and get dinner started. Mikey will be over soon.”

  “Nova, go gather your things,” I say, watching Lennon closely.

  She looks about two seconds from breaking, and my skin prickles the same way it used to with Kim, leaving me to wonder if Lennon is hiding something from me. I quickly shake the thought away, because Lennon is nothing like Kim.

  “What else did your mom say?” I ask softly.

  Shaking her head, Lennon takes a step back. Her sad eyes find mine. “My mom was just being my mom.” Lennon glances at Nova as she runs back toward us, bag in hand. “I really don’t want to talk about it right now, if that’s okay with you?”

  Placing my hand under her chin, I turn her face toward me. “But we will talk about it?”

  Lennon nods.

  “Good.” I kiss her gently, hating the way her puffy lips feel against mine. I don’t like it when either of my girls cries. “You’re coming over for dinner, right?”

  “Is it okay if I skip tonight? I just really want to be alone.”

  “I’m not sure I want you to be alone.”

  “My mother isn’t like yours, Noah,” she says, her eyes hardening. “She isn’t loving or kind. Never has been, and all of a sudden it’s clear she never will be. Whatever hope I had of that is gone, and I just need to be—” Her voice grows thick with emotion, and she takes a second to collect herself. “I just need to be alone. I need to process this, figure out how to move forward.”

  “You’re going to process it with me.”

  My words cause a spark in her eye. Did she really think I was going to let her deal with this by herself? She’s mine now. We deal with this shit together.

  “We’re going to process this,” I tell her again. “You’re not alone anymore, Lennon. We’ll deal with your mother together.”

  I cradle her face with my hand, and she rests her cheek against my palm. “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me; this is what relationships are about. Now, go relax. Take a bath, sew, read a book, invite Charlotte over for a glass
of wine and watch a chick flick—whatever it is you need to do to clear your head. I’ll check on you later, and we’ll talk it out.”

  With one last kiss and a promise to call Lennon after dinner, Nova and I slip out the door.

  We’re halfway across the yard when Nova tugs on my hand. “Daddy, is Lennon okay?”

  “Yeah, sweetie, she’s going to be fine. We’ll make sure of it.”

  After Noah leaves I cry.

  A lot.

  And then I scream and yell and cry some more, because this isn’t fair. Life isn’t fucking fair. Why was I born to such unloving parents? Why did I allow myself to get involved with someone like Mathis when there are men like Noah in the world?

  Clenching my fists, I yell at the top of my lungs. It feels good, so good to get all of that tension out, so I do it again.

  Pushing my fingers into my hair, I pace around the house, trying to make sense of everything. But it’s nearly impossible. All of it—my mother, Mathis, Noah, that night—is one tangled mess in my head, and I can’t seem to straighten it all out.

  Maybe I need to get the hell out of here.

  Frustrated and angry, I grab a bottle of wine, my purse, and my keys, and charge out my front door. Tossing my stuff in my car, I shoot Charlotte a quick text to let her know I’m on my way, and I make the short drive into town.

  Thank God for Charlotte, because not even twenty minutes later I find myself perched in a shop chair with a glass of wine in one hand and a package of Starbursts in the other—sans pink ones, of course.

  “Your mom’s a real bitch.”

  That’s putting it mildly. “Tell me about it.”

  “You don’t really think she’d tell Noah, do you? I mean, not that you have anything to worry about, because it isn’t true, but…”

  “I don’t know.” I take a sip of my wine, contemplating, and as much as I hate to admit it, I do think she would say something. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

  “You know you have to tell him first.”

  I nod, lifting my head to focus on Charlotte. “I know. I was always going to tell him; I’ve just been waiting for the right time.”

  “Is there ever a right time to tell someone about the past?”