The Winter Folly

by Taylor, Lulu

  ‘Really?’ She laughed a little. ‘Are you?’

  ‘I’d like to very much,’ he said. ‘I feel very close to you right now. I want to be as close as I can.’

  She softened in his arms. ‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘Yes, please.’

  He unbuttoned her light cotton shirt and pushed it open to reveal her white bra beneath. He slipped one hand over her left breast, cupping it and then pushing back the lace to reveal her dark pink nipple, shrunk down to a tight bud. ‘Oh, you’re so beautiful,’ he breathed, and bent his head to kiss it. She breathed in as he ran his tongue over it and tugged on it gently. He moved to her mouth, kissing her lightly on the lips as his hand moved to her other breast, testing the hardness of her right nipple with the ball of his thumb. He kissed her harder as her arms snaked around him, pulling him closer. He smelt of warm linen and the muskiness of skin reacting to summer heat. She kissed him back harder, pressing herself against him, wanting to feel the whole of his body, lean and strong, against hers. She recalled the way they had made love the night she confessed about her trip here, the strange impersonality of it. The distance between them had been a shock. The experience of having sex without making love had frightened her deeply.

  We’re so lucky to have it back, she thought, running her hands under his shirt and across the broad expanse of his back. We so nearly didn’t.

  They made slow and delicious love in the afternoon heat, the veil curtains blowing in and creating wafts of air to cool them as their skin pressed together, hot and sticky at times, smooth and soft at others.

  When it was over, she sighed happily. ‘I’m so glad we’re here. It’s a different kind of homecoming isn’t it?’

  He nodded. ‘Yes. But it’s what happens tomorrow that counts.’

  ‘I’m sure it will be fine,’ she said, stroking his hair. ‘You’re here. I know it’s going to be all right.’

  ‘I hope so,’ he said. ‘It all depends on whether she’ll listen or not.’

  The next afternoon they walked together up the steep road from Chora towards the west, taking their time, each of them filled with a fluttering excitement that was a mixture of apprehension, fear and hope. Perhaps Alexandra wouldn’t be at home – she had the job at the monastery taking tourists around but that might not be every day. Her life was only vaguely known to them. But at least Delilah knew where she lived.

  ‘We’re close now,’ she said, a sudden tension in her stomach. There was so much potential for this to go wrong. Alexandra didn’t know what they knew.

  They walked on in silence, panting a little at the heat that made their efforts to climb the hill all the more strenuous. They stopped at last near the top, passing a water bottle between them to quench their thirsts, but it was also to put off the moment to come just a little longer.

  Delilah pointed up the hill to where the square villa rose among the pine trees at the foot of the monastery. ‘There it is. That’s hers.’

  John followed the direction of her finger and stared at the house. It looked like so many of the others but this one was different. It was where his mother had lived unknown to him for years on end, perhaps all the years that she’d been absent.

  ‘Come on,’ she said encouragingly. ‘We’re nearly there. Let’s do it.’

  She strode on up the hill to the narrow street where the gate to the Villa Artemis stood slightly ajar. Now, she thought, we really are at the end of our journey.

  John said, ‘You go up. I’ll wait for you to call me.’ ‘All right.’ It was what they’d agreed. She turned and mounted the white stone steps until she’d reached the door. Pausing for a moment, she took a breath, then knocked. She waited, the tension squealing in her nerves, and then the door opened. Alexandra stood there, clear-eyed and calm, and gazing straight at her. When she spoke her voice was low and musical, vibrating with emotion.

  ‘I knew you’d come back,’ she said. ‘I’m ready. Come in.’

  They sat together in Alexandra’s sitting room. The heat on the terrace was too blazing at this time of day. ‘There’s another on the other side of the house,’ Alexandra said, ‘but we’ll be more comfortable here.’

  A dish of marinated olives and glasses of cool citrusy iced water stood ignored on the table between them.

  ‘You were expecting me,’ Delilah said, feeling jumpy with adrenaline and excitement. The knowledge of John’s proximity made her edgy and she knew she must calm down.

  Alexandra nodded. She was quite different, Delilah thought, flushed and glowing with an excitement that made her look almost girlish. ‘Ever since your last visit, I’ve not been able to see things in quite the same light. You changed things for me, I’m not quite sure how. If you hadn’t come, I think I would have done my best to reach you somehow.’ She smiled over at Delilah. ‘I was convinced nothing could change my mind and yet . . .’ She looked a little shamefaced suddenly. ‘That’s why I wish I hadn’t written that letter. I would have done anything to take it back afterwards.’

  ‘It’s in a bin in Fort Stirling somewhere,’ Delilah said cheerfully. ‘In fact, it’s probably in the compost by now. John didn’t read it.’

  ‘Good.’ Alexandra looked relieved. Then she said worriedly, ‘Was he very angry?’

  ‘Furious.’

  A troubled expression crossed the other woman’s face. ‘I thought as much,’ she murmured. ‘I can understand that. Why should he forgive me? I shouldn’t ask it of him. All I can do is explain a little. I thought perhaps if I tried to make it clearer to you – to him – it might ease his pain. What you said stayed with me – it haunted me. I can’t bear to think he’s still suffering after all these years. Somehow I convinced myself that he didn’t feel the pain of losing me anymore.’

  ‘You’re so wrong,’ Delilah said gently. ‘I think he’s felt it every day since he was a boy.’

  Alex flinched. ‘Of course. I ought to know that. Why should I be spared?’

  ‘But he’s ready to forgive you, I think, and meet you again.’

  ‘You mean, I should return to Fort Stirling?’

  ‘Yes – perhaps. If you can.’

  Alexandra sat back in her chair, her expression strange. ‘That house. I gave up so much for it in the end. I thought I’d never go back. But . . .’ She hesitated and then said, ‘But if you think John wants it, then I’ll go back. Besides, there’s something I want to do. But I can’t return at once. In my own time. In a week or two. I need time to adjust. My life has moved at a very different pace to yours for many years. I can’t simply up and leave, you know.’ She stared at the floor for a moment, then she looked up at Delilah and fixed her with a steady gaze. ‘There is one thing I cannot do. Please do not ask me to see Nicky again. It is too much, for me and for him. It’s too late now for him ever to understand why what happened had to happen. And it would break my heart to see him. May I ask that simple favour? From what you said, I understand he may not know I’m there in any case.’

  Delilah felt a wave of sympathy wash over her. She said simply, ‘You don’t need to stay away from Nicky. I know why you thought you had to leave him.’

  Alex looked almost fearful. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘The secret you wanted to die with you. I know what it is.’

  The other woman paled, and she gave a sudden, shallow gasp. ‘How?’ she said in a whisper. ‘What do you know of it?’

  ‘Please, Alexandra, I don’t want you to suffer any longer,’ Delilah said. She leaned towards her, her eyes earnest, she hoped, and full of the sincerity she felt. ‘I want to set you free, if I can. For all of our sakes.’

  ‘Tell me what you know. Quick,’ Alexandra said, closing her eyes, her hands clasping the arms of the chair.

  Delilah got up and went to sit next to Alexandra’s. The older woman sat very still, keeping her eyes closed as if preparing herself for an onslaught. Delilah kept her voice low, even and comforting. ‘I’ve got something to tell you. It’s not easy but it’s easier than the burden you’ve strug
gled under all these years. You see, years ago, someone told a lie. A very wicked lie. It was a murderous piece of deception and it ruined your life. It ruined Nicky’s life. It almost ruined John’s – but now we know the truth, and we can defeat it.’

  Alexandra opened her eyes and stared back at her, frozen. She looked terrified.

  Delilah went on, ‘I think you know the lie I mean. It was the reason you had to leave and never come back. It is the reason you don’t think you should see Nicky again. It’s why you gave John up for good.’

  The old woman had begun to shake. Delilah leaned forward, full of pity for her as well as hope that this release would bring her a joy that would overwhelm the despair and save her from collapse. She put an arm around her to steady her. ‘You know what I am talking about, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes,’ Alex whispered, her voice cracking. ‘I thought no one else knew. No one! How do you know? Who told you?’ Then she wailed, ‘How do you know it’s a lie?’

  ‘Because it is,’ Delilah said firmly. ‘I’ve heard the whole story and I’m going to tell it to you now. Do you think you’re strong enough?’

  Alexandra pulled in a shaky breath, clasped her hand tightly around Delilah’s and looked her in the eye. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I’m strong enough. I’m ready. Tell me now.’

  Delilah emerged from the house, calm in the way that comes after a storm of tears, even though she hadn’t been crying. She’d been shaken, though, by witnessing Alexandra’s reaction to the news: a deep and seismic realisation and a strange dignified acceptance of it. ‘John!’ she called and ran down several steps towards the bottom.

  He came up through the gate, anxiety flickering in the depths of his eyes. ‘Is everything all right?’

  She nodded, smiling. ‘Yes. I think so. Come up.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Delilah nodded and put out her hand to him. ‘Absolutely.’

  John walked slowly to her, and then stopped. He took her hand. ‘I’d like you to be with me.’

  ‘I’ll be right behind you, I promise. But you should go first.’

  He took a deep breath, fiddled with the cap of the water bottle he was holding and then passed the bottle to her. ‘Okay. Here goes.’ He went up past her towards the terrace. Turning back, he looked at her and she smiled encouragingly so he took another step and then another. A moment later he had reached the top. Delilah stood still, watching, clutching the bottle hard in her hands. She nodded at him and mouthed, ‘Go!’

  He lifted his hand, paused for a moment, then walked up onto the terrace.

  Delilah watched as Alexandra appeared, held out her arms and said, ‘Hello, John. You’ve come.’

  She watched her husband move slowly into his mother’s embrace, the old woman’s arms not meeting around her son’s back, her grey head only just visible above his blue linen shirt. Delilah closed her eyes and released a long breath that she had not even realised she’d been holding.

  It was done, at last.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Fort Stirling was filled with a sense of madness and incipient celebration, and for once the house seemed alive. It was already buzzing with people and later today it would be full to bursting.

  Delilah was racing around trying to organise everything and everybody at once. There was a marquee going up on the back lawn that was almost complete and the caterers were itching to get in with their tables and chairs, while the florists were standing about moaning that the flowers were wilting in the sunshine and could they please get into the marquee to set up?

  Meanwhile, the DJ had just arrived with his decks and the chemical lavatory people wanted to know where their loos were going to be put. Delilah had forgotten how much of this kind of thing she had done as a day job and she was simultaneously loving it and hating it. In a way, she could now see John’s point about Fort Stirling being invaded by other people. She remembered how she had felt about the place the day she’d first come with Grey and Rachel all that time ago to do the photo shoot. She’d thought it was virtually a public space to be treated as she liked and had rather resented the idea that the owner might have an opinion. But now she was in the opposite position and she knew exactly why it was so irritating.

  She threw open a window and shouted at an electrician who was sitting on a stone wall and idly kicking the heads off the flowers: ‘Hey! Stop that, please! Thank you!’ then slammed the window shut and went up to find John.

  Upstairs the house was stuffy with late afternoon heat that had risen up into the bedrooms. John was lying on the bed with the windows shut and a pillow over his eyes. He pulled it off as he heard Delilah come in.

  ‘What a bloody racket!’ he said loudly. ‘I thought this was supposed to be my birthday. Where’s my lovely long lie-in and my peaceful day pleasing myself?’ He reached out an arm and grabbed her as she came close to the bed, ignoring her screech and pulling her down beside him. ‘And you, my love.’ He snuggled into her, covering her with kisses. ‘Where have you been?’

  ‘Organising your bloody party,’ she said, giggling as he tickled her.

  ‘I didn’t want a party. You’re the one who wanted the party.’

  ‘For you! To celebrate. To mark this rather special occasion.’

  ‘The rebirth,’ he said, hugging her tightly. ‘Of us.’

  ‘Mmm. Yes. Of us. And of your relationship with your mother. But that’s not all.’ She turned to face him, trying to make him be serious. ‘Now. Listen. I’ve got something important to tell you. A kind of birthday present.’

  ‘Oh? I hope there’s going to be something I can unwrap as well.’

  ‘Yes, yes, later . . .’ She pressed him away as he tried to nuzzle into her neck again. ‘Let me get this out – I want to say it. I’ve been thinking about it ever since we came back from Patmos.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Darling, whenever we’ve been away from here, we’ve been at our happiest. The house is wonderful but it’s also the place I’ve been most miserable, and I think that goes for you too. And so I thought that we ought to make some plans to go away ourselves. For your birthday, I want to give you your freedom.’

  He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’ve always said how much this place oppresses you. Well, let’s go away. Give it to Ben, for the time being at least, and let him do all the things he wants to do.’

  ‘Ben?’ John turned his eyes up to heaven. ‘He’s in a funny mood at the moment.’ He gave her a sharp look. ‘Do you know anything about that?’

  She cast him a glance. ‘It’s nothing to worry about, you know that. He’ll sort himself out and what better way than to do some of the things he’d really love to do here?’

  ‘Hmm,’ grunted John. ‘I’m not sure.’

  She said, ‘But don’t you understand? We can go away from here if you want. Live anywhere we like. Do something different. Get away from the weight of your inheritance before it crushes you.’

  He turned to look her straight in the eye. ‘You’re serious about this, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes. I’m deadly serious. Because I want you to be happy and if this place makes you unhappy, then we should leave. It might make Ben happy, you never know. Or he might be as miserable as you. And you can come back when you need to. Or maybe we could live somewhere else. In the village perhaps.’

  John lay back on the bed, pressing his pillow down behind his head. ‘I’m stunned.’

  ‘Really?’

  He stared up at the carved top of the four-poster with its drooping orange hangings. ‘You’d do that for me?’

  ‘Of course.’

  He started to laugh suddenly, a jerking sound that gradually grew louder and richer until he was laughing as hard as he could.

  ‘What? What?’ she said, laughing along with him, infected by the hilarity. ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘You really have decided to wave your magic wand, haven’t you? A missing mother? Oh dear, that’s no good. Bing! Here she is. Now
, what else? Your house weighing you down? Kapow! I’ll make it vanish just like that. I’ll overturn all the traditions and all the lineage and make it go away.’ His laughing tailed off a little, and then he sighed. ‘Oh, darling. I really love you. I always knew I did but I’ve just realised it all over again.’

  She smiled at him happily. ‘Whatever you want, I’ll help you every step of the way. Just let me know whatever you want to do.’

  ‘Thanks, darling.’ He grinned at her. ‘That’s a lovely birthday present. I do hope you got me some aftershave, though. To go with it.’

  She threw the pillow at him, laughing. ‘Get up, you rascal. You should phone your mother at the house and see how she’s settling in.’

  ‘I can’t believe she’s not coming to the party.’ John made a face but he wasn’t serious.

  ‘You can see why she wouldn’t want to be there,’ Delilah said. ‘A bit much really, after all this time, to suddenly appear in front of all your friends and family. Much nicer the way she’s planned it, don’t you think? Now, have a bath and get ready! People will be arriving soon.’

  By the evening the house had been transformed into a magnificent party venue, the marquee shining on the lawn and the garden illuminated by hundreds of lanterns. It was a beautiful summer evening and the guests milled around the gardens drinking champagne and fruit cocktails as they chatted.

  Delilah was dressed in a shimmering sequined silver sheath and a pair of vintage heels, a feather headdress curling over her head.

  ‘You look stunning,’ Grey said as he came wandering up. He was wearing a plum velvet smoking jacket, evening trousers and matching plum monogrammed slippers.

  ‘So do you,’ Delilah said. ‘Love all the velvet.’

  ‘I’m a little hot is the only thing,’ Grey remarked. ‘It’s such a warm evening. I hope it’s going to get cooler later.’

  ‘It won’t on the dance floor. I’m hoping to see you move your tail feathers on there later. I’ve got the DJ to line up some of your favourite tunes specially.’