Marcus rose from the chair and set Mia down on the changing table with all the care and affection of a father, watching with concern as the doctor gave her a thorough exam, asking random questions. When he looked in her ears she started to fuss.
When he was finished, Vanessa asked, “Is it serious?”
“She’ll be fine,” he assured her, patting her arm. “As I suspected, it’s just an ear infection.”
Vanessa was so relieved she could have cried. She picked Mia up and held her tight. “How could she have gotten that?”
“It could have started as a virus. A round of antibiotics should clear it right up. The acetaminophen you gave her should bring the fever down.”
It looked as if it already had started to work. Mia’s cheeks weren’t as red and her eyes seemed less droopy. “Could that be why she was so crabby during the flight here?”
“I doubt it. Some children are just sensitive to the cabin pressure. It could have been hurting her ears.”
It broke her heart to think that all the time they’d been in the air, Mia had been in pain and Vanessa hadn’t even known it. “What can I do to keep it from happening in the future?”
“I would keep her out of the air until the infection clears, then, when you fly home, try earplugs. It will help regulate the pressure.”
If she went home, that is. She glanced over at Marcus, who was looking at her. Was he thinking the same thing?
“Right now the best thing for her is a good night’s rest. I’ll have the antibiotics delivered right away. Just follow the directions. Call if she hasn’t improved by morning. Otherwise I’ll check her again in two days.”
“Thank you, Dr. Stark,” she said, shaking his hand.
“Shall I put her back in her crib?” Karin asked Vanessa after he left.
Vanessa shook her head. “I’m going to take her to my room, so you can have the night off. Thanks for calling me so quickly.”
Karin nodded and started to walk to her room, then she stopped, turned back and said, “She’s a strong girl, she’ll be fine in no time.” Then she actually smiled.
When she was gone, Vanessa turned to Marcus. He’d removed his jacket and was leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “Thank you,” she said.
He cocked his head slightly. “For what?”
“Getting the doctor here so fast. For just being here with me. I don’t suppose you have a portable crib anywhere around here. She rolls so much that I get nervous keeping her in bed with me.”
Marcus pulled out his phone. “I’m sure we have one.”
The medicine arrived fifteen minutes later and Vanessa gave her a dose, and within half an hour a portable crib had been set up in her bedroom. Vanessa laid Mia, who had fallen asleep on her shoulder, inside and covered her with a light blanket. She gently touched Mia’s forehead, relieved to find that her temperature had returned almost to normal.
She walked back out into the sitting room where Marcus waited. It was dark but for a lamp on the desk. He stood by the French doors, the curtain pulled back, gazing into the night. Her first instinct was to walk up to him, slide her arms around his waist and lay her head against his back. She imagined that they would stay that way for a while, then he would turn and take her in his arms, kiss her the way he did the other night.
But as much as she wanted to—ached for it even—she couldn’t do it.
“She’s in bed,” she said, and Marcus turned to her, letting the curtain drop. “I think she’s better already.”
“That’s good.”
The phone on her desk began to ring and she crossed the room to pick it up. It was Gabriel. Thank goodness he couldn’t see her face or surely he would recognize the guilt there for the thoughts she had just been having.
“George called,” he said, sounding worried. “He told me that Mia is ill.”
“She woke with a fever.”
“The doctor was there?”
“He came right away. It’s an ear infection. He put her on antibiotics.”
“What can I do? Do you need me to come home? I can catch a flight first thing in the morning.”
This was it. She could say yes, and get Gabriel back here and be done with this whole crazy thing with Marcus. Instead she heard herself saying, “In the time it would take you to get here, she’ll probably be fine. Her fever is already down.”
“Are you sure?”
“Trina needs you more than I do. Besides, Marcus is helping,” she said, glancing his way.
His expression was unreadable.
“Call me if you need anything, day or night,” Gabriel said.
“I will, I promise.”
“I’ll let you go so you can tend to her needs. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Good night, sweet Vanessa. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she said, and she did. She loved him as a friend, so why did she feel like a fraud? And why did she feel so uncomfortable saying the words in front of Marcus?
Well, duh, of course she knew why.
She set the phone down and turned to Marcus. He stood by the sofa, his arms folded across his chest. “Your father,” she said, as if he needed an explanation.
“He offered to come home?” he asked.
She nodded.
“You told him no?”
She nodded again.
He started walking toward her. “Why? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“It was…I mean, it is. I just think…” The truth was, she was afraid. Afraid that Gabriel would come home, see her face and instantly know what she was feeling for Marcus. He trusted her, loved her, and she’d betrayed him. And she continued to betray him every time she had an inappropriate thought about his son, but she just couldn’t seem to stop herself. Or maybe she didn’t want to stop. “Maybe we need some time to sort this out before he comes back.”
“Sort what out?”
“This. Us.”
“I thought there was no us. That we were going to pretend like it never happened.”
That had seemed like a good idea yesterday, but now she wasn’t so sure she could do that. Not right away, anyhow. “We are. I just…need some time to think.”
He stepped closer, his dark eyes serious and pinned to hers. Her stomach bottomed out and her heart started to beat faster.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to kiss me again.”
“But I do.”
Oh boy. Her knees felt squishy. “You know that would be a really bad idea.”
“Yeah, it probably would.”
“You really shouldn’t.”
“So tell me no.”
He wanted her to be the responsible one? Seriously?
“Have you not heard a thing I’ve said this week?”
“Every word of it.”
“Then you know that you really shouldn’t trust me with a responsibility like that, considering my tendency to make bad decisions.”
His grin warmed her from the inside out. “Right now, I’m sort of counting on it.”
Thirteen
Vanessa reached up and cupped Marcus’s cheek, running her thumb across that adorable dimple, something she’d wanted to do since the first time she’d seen him smile.
This was completely insane, what they were about to do, because she knew in her heart that this time it wouldn’t just be a kiss. But with him standing right in front of her, gazing into her eyes with that hungry look, she just couldn’t make herself stop him. And her last thought, as he lowered his head and leaned in, as she rose up to meet him halfway, was how wrong this was, and how absolutely wonderful.
Then he kissed her. But this time it was different, this kiss had a mutual urgency that said neither would be having a crisis of conscience. In a weird way it felt as if they had been working toward this moment since the minute she’d stepped off the plane. Like somewhere deep down she just knew it had been inevitable. It was
difficult to imagine that at one time she hadn’t even liked him. A big fat jerk, that’s what she’d thought him to be. She’d been so wrong about him. About so many things.
“I want you Vanessa,” he whispered against her lips. “I don’t care if it’s wrong.”
She pulled back to look him in the eyes. How could she have known this beautiful man only five days when right now it felt like an eternity?
And right now their feelings were the only ones that mattered to her.
She shoved his jacket off his shoulders, down his arms, and it dropped to the floor. She ran her hands up the front of his shirt, over his muscular chest, the way she had wanted to since he stood in her doorway that day with his shirt unbuttoned. And he felt just as good as she knew he would.
Marcus groaned deep in his throat. Then, as if the last bit of his control snapped, he kissed her hard, lifting her off her feet and pinning her to the wall with the length of his body. She gasped against his lips, hooked her legs around his hips, curling her fingers into the meat of his arms. This was the Marcus she had fantasized about, the one who would sweep her off her feet and take her with reckless abandon, and everything inside her screamed, “Yes!”
Marcus set her on her feet and grabbed the hem of her dress, yanking it up over her head—as close to tearing as he could get without actually shredding the delicate silk fabric. When she stood there in nothing but a bra and panties, he stopped and just looked at her.
“You’re amazing,” he said.
Not beautiful, but amazing. Was it possible that he really did see more in her than just a pretty face? When she looked at Marcus she saw not royalty, not a prince, but a man who was charismatic and kind and funny. And maybe a little vulnerable too. A man who was looking back at her with the same deep affection. Could it be that her feelings for Gabriel were never meant to be more than friendship? That Marcus was the one she was destined to fall in love with? Because as much as she’d tried to fight it, she was definitely falling in love with him.
She took his hand and walked backward to the sofa, tugging him along with her. A part of her said that she should have been second-guessing herself, or feeling guilty—and a week ago, she probably would have—but as they undressed, kissing and touching each other, it just felt right.
When he was naked, she took a moment to just look at him. Physically he was just as perfect as he could possibly be, but she didn’t really care about that. It was his mind that fascinated her most, who he was on the inside.
She lay back against the sofa, pulling him down with her, so he was cradled between her thighs. He grinned down at her, brushing her hair back from her face. “You know that this is completely crazy.”
“I know. I take it you don’t do crazy things?”
“Never.”
“Me neither.” She stroked the sides of his face, his neck, ran her hands across his shoulders. She just couldn’t stop touching him. “Maybe that’s why this feels so good. Maybe we both need a little crazy.”
“That must be it.” He leaned down to kiss her, but just as his lips brushed hers, he stopped, uttering a curse.
“If you’re about to tell me we have to stop, I’m going to be very upset,” she said.
“No, I just realized, I don’t have protection with me.”
“You don’t? Aren’t princes supposed to be prepared at all times?” She paused, frowning. “Or is that the scouts?”
“I wasn’t exactly planning for this, you know.”
“Really?”
He laughed. “Yes, really. But then you walked into the room wearing that dress…”
“That dress? Are you kidding me? It’s like the least sexy thing I own. I wore it so I wouldn’t tempt you.”
“The truth is, you could have been wearing a paper sack and I would have wanted to rip it off you. It’s you that I want, not your clothes.”
It was thrilling to know he wanted her that much, that he would be attracted to her even at her worst.
“I’m going to have to run back to my room,” he said, not sounding at all thrilled with the idea.
“I’m on birth control, so you don’t have to.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. And now that we have that settled, could we stop talking and get to the good stuff?”
He grinned. “I thought women liked to talk.”
“Yes, but even we have our limits.”
She didn’t have to ask twice, and lying there with him, kissing and touching, felt completely natural. There was none of the usual first time fumbling or awkwardness. And any vestige of reservations, or hint of mixed feelings that may have remained evaporated the instant he thrust inside her. Everything else in the world, any cares or worries or feelings of indecision that were always there somewhere in the back of her mind, melted away. She knew from the instant he began to move inside her—slow and gentle at first, then harder and faster, until it got so out of control they tumbled off the couch onto the rug—that this was meant to be. He made her feel the way a woman was supposed to feel. Adored and desired and protected, and strong, as if no one or no thing could ever knock her back down.
And she felt heartbroken, all the way down to her soul, because as much as she wanted Marcus, she couldn’t have him, and she was terrified that no man would ever make her feel this way again.
* * *
“We’re totally screwed, aren’t we?” Vanessa asked Marcus, lying next to him naked on the floor beside the sofa, her breath just as raspy and uneven as his own, glowing from what had been for him some of the best sex of his entire life. Actually no, it had been the best.
Maybe it was the anticipation that had made it so exciting, or the forbidden nature of the relationship. Maybe it was that she had no hang-ups about her looks or insecurities about her body, or that she gave herself heart and soul and held nothing back. It could have been that unlike most women, whatever she took, she gave back tenfold.
Or maybe he just really liked her.
At this point, what difference did it make? Because she was right. They were screwed. How could he possibly explain this to his father? “Sorry, but I just slept with the woman you love, and I think I might be falling in love with her myself, but don’t worry, you’ll find someone else.”
There was a code among men when it came to girlfriends and wives, and that was even more true among family. It was a line a man simply did not cross. But he had crossed it, and the worst part was that he couldn’t seem to make himself feel guilty about it.
“My father can’t ever know,” he said.
She nodded. “I know. And I can’t marry him now.”
“I know.” He felt bad about that, but maybe it was for the best. He believed that Vanessa came here with the very best of intentions, but she obviously didn’t love his father the way a wife loves a husband. Maybe by stepping between them Marcus had done them both a favor. Vanessa was so sweet and kind, he could imagine her compromising her own happiness to make his father happy. Eventually though, they would have both been miserable. In essence, he had saved them from an inevitable failed marriage.
Or was he just trying to rationalize a situation that was completely irrational?
She reached down and laced her fingers through his. “It’s not your fault that this happened, so please don’t ever blame yourself.”
He squeezed her hand. “It’s no one’s fault. Sometimes things just…happen. It doesn’t have to make sense.”
She looked over at him. “You know that no matter how we feel, you and I, we can’t ever…”
“I know.” And the thought caused an actual pain in his chest. A longing so deep he felt hollowed out and raw. He had little doubt that Vanessa was the one for him. She was his destiny, she and Mia, but he could never have them. Not if he ever hoped to have a civilized relationship with his father. It was as if the universe was playing a cruel trick on them. But in his world honor reigned supreme, and family always came first. His feelings, his happiness, were inconsequential
.
It wasn’t fair, but when was life ever?
“I need to call him and tell him,” Vanessa said. “That it’s over, I mean. I won’t tell him about us.”
The minute she ended her relationship with his father, she would have to leave. There would be no justifiable reason to stay. And the idea that this was it, that Marcus would never be with Vanessa again, that he had to give her up so soon, made his heart pound and adrenaline rush. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not yet.
“That’s not the sort of thing that you should do over the phone, or through Skype,” he told her. “Shouldn’t you wait until he returns?”
Her brow furrowed into a frown. “It just doesn’t seem fair to let him think that everything is okay, then dump him the second he gets back. That just seems…cruel.”
And this was the woman he’d been convinced was a devious gold digger. How could he have been so wrong? Because he was an idiot, or at least, he had been. And he would be again if he let her go now.
“Do you really think now is the right time?” he said, grasping for a reason, any reason, to get her to stay. “He’s so upset over my aunt.”
She blinked. “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it that way. That would be pretty thoughtless. But I don’t think I can wait until he comes back. That could be weeks still.”
“Then at least wait until she’s out of intensive care.”
“I don’t know…”
Oh, to hell with this. Here she was being honest and he was trying to manipulate her.
“The truth is, I don’t care about my father’s feelings. This is pure selfishness. Because the minute you tell him, it’s over, and I just can’t let you go yet.” He pulled her close, cupped her face in his hands. “Stay with me, Vanessa. Just a few days more.”
She looked conflicted, and sad. “You know we’ll just be torturing ourselves.”
“I don’t care. I just want a little more time with you.” Not wanted. Needed. And he had never needed anyone in his life.
“We would have to be discreet. No one can know. If Gabriel found out—”
“He won’t. I promise.”
She hesitated a moment, then smiled and touched his cheek. “Okay. A few more days.”
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