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I'll Cover You

Page 21

by A. C. Grey


  * * * * *

  Emmy refused to leave Kate’s bedside over the next few days. Kate had finally been weaned off the ventilator and was breathing on her own, which was a good sign. However, she’d yet to regain consciousness. Emmy was determined to be there if, no when it happened. Every once in a while, one of Kate’s parents would hold vigil just long enough for Emmy to get food or use the restroom. Emmy had protested even these small breaks. Each beep of a machine was what she lived for. Anything that let her know that Kate was holding on. She hadn’t slept much, deathly afraid that she’d fall asleep, only to miss Kate slipping away again. She’d resisted, but a stern look from Beth and a reminder that she’d be no good to Kate if she ended up in the hospital right alongside her was all it took. Kate’s parents hadn’t pushed for more time with their daughter, silently knowing that Emmy needed the time more than they did. They also knew that deep down, Emmy was what their daughter needed as well.

  On the third day of Emmy’s round-the-clock vigil, Beth quietly slipped into Kate’s room. She whispered to Emmy. “There’s someone here to see you.”

  Emmy shook her head. “Whoever it is, tell them I’m busy.”

  Beth pressed on. “Actually, I asked him to come. I thought maybe you could use some support.”

  Emmy looked at her quizzically. “Who?”

  “Your father.”

  “Uh, thanks, Beth. I appreciate it, really I do. But my dad and I can talk later. Right now, Kate needs me.”

  “Harris. Seriously. You look like death warmed over. All you’ve been doing for the past several days is sitting here and beating yourself up. Punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault. I think you need to talk to someone. And that someone is your father. If I can’t talk some sense into you, maybe he can.”

  Emmy sighed. The last thing she wanted was a lecture from her father. Not because she didn’t appreciate his advice, but because she was afraid he’d be right. He was almost always right. And right now, she needed to blame herself. It was what she deserved. “Tell him I’ll call him later.” Emmy said, hoping to put him off for at least a while.

  Beth shook her head. “I am under strict orders to not take no for an answer.”

  “But Kate will be alone. Her parents ran back to the hotel to get a change of clothes and a shower,” Emmy protested, grasping at anything that would allow her to stay with Kate.

  “I’ll sit with her.” Seeing the struggle on Emmy’s face, Beth patted her reassuringly on the arm. “Emmy. It will be fine. Trust me.”

  Emmy let out a resigned sigh. “Fine. I’ll go. But only for a few minutes.”

  Satisfied, Beth nodded. “Go talk to your father. She’ll still be here when you get back.”

  Emmy struggled to move, but slowly left the room. She hoped and prayed that Beth was right and that she wasn’t making a terrible mistake by leaving Kate.

  * * * * *

  Emmy headed to the waiting room where she met her father. All her resolve to keep the conversation brief and unemotional went crumbling to the ground with just one word from her father.

  “Emmaline,” he said, empathetically, his arms outstretched for a hug.

  Emmy immediately allowed herself to be enveloped in his strong arms as gut-wrenching sobs began to wrack her body.

  “Shh, shh. Honey. It will be okay,” he said as he gently rubbed circles on her back.

  They stayed that way for several minutes, only the sounds of Emmy’s cries breaking the silence.

  Finally, as Emmy’s sobs subsided to the occasional whimper, Stephen broke the silence. “Why didn’t you call us, honey? Your family. You clearly needed someone to lean on. You shouldn’t have gone through this alone.”

  “I texted,” Emmy argued half-heartedly.

  “Emmaline,” Stephen said in an exasperated tone. “The occasional text with an update on Kate’s condition is not the same thing as the love and support of your family.”

  “I know,” Emmy said softly as she stared at her hands.

  “So why didn’t you ask us to come? Why did Beth have to finally summon me?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I feel like I don’t deserve any sympathy right now. What happened to Kate is my fault.”

  “That’s not true,” he said matter-of-factly.

  “Yes it is,” Emmy replied, still unable to make eye contact as a new wave of sobs wracked her body.

  Her father gently lifted her chin so that she had to look him in eye. “Honey. You listen to me. None of this was your fault. Do you understand? The only person to blame is that man who pulled the trigger. That is where the blame lies. Nowhere else. Do you hear me?”

  Somehow, she believed him. At least mostly. She nodded and swallowed hard. “But the guilt. It’s killing me. I left things with her so badly. She proposed Daddy. On Christmas. And I turned her down because I was thought she was just using me as a part of her plan to promote gay marriage. I crushed her, Daddy. And then she got shot.”

  “Emmaline. Why on earth would you think she was using you?”

  Embarrassed to say what had caused her to rebuff Kate, Emmy again looked away. “I . . . um . . . an ex-girlfriend of Kate’s approached me and warned me not to trust her. That Kate only cared about her career.”

  “And you believed her?” Stephen asked incredulously. “Over the woman who, as far as I can tell, has done nothing but love you from day one?”

  “I know, it was beyond stupid. It was the stress. Kate wouldn’t talk about the threat with me. Apparently she was taking it seriously, but to me it felt like she didn’t care. And then when she told me about the gay marriage amendment and then proposed, it just felt, I don’t know, too convenient.”

  “Emmaline. Did you ever think to stop and talk to Kate about how you were feeling? Tell her that you were scared and that you needed her? That you needed to know what she was doing to deal with the threat?”

  Emmy shook her head.

  “It sounds to me like you two need to talk more. But that’s easily solved,” Stephen said.

  “Is it? What if she won’t forgive me?” Emmy asked.

  “She will. Though it was a rather overly romantic and heroic gesture, it doesn’t take a bullet to see that she loves you. I know that you’ve been hurt before and that you’re afraid to trust, but she’s different. Even I can see that. I may not have always been supportive of you being with a woman, I know I was shocked the first time you brought a girl home. But one thing I know for sure. She makes you happier than I’ve ever seen you. Don’t let that get away.”

  “Thank you, Daddy,” Emmy said, feeling just a small amount of relief for the first time in days. She wrapped her arms around him again and just let herself relax in the warm, protective arms of her father.

  Beth entered, interrupting their moment.

  Instantly, Emmy panicked. “What? What is it? Is she . . . Is she . . .” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence, unable to verbalize her worst fears – that Kate had slipped away.

  Beth shook her head and offered her a reassuring smile. “She’s awake, Harris. And she’s asking for you.”

  Emmy might have collapsed to the floor, her legs giving out with the relief, had her father not been there to support her. “Go,” he said. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

  Emmy offered him and small smile and nodded. With a deep breath, she headed back to Kate’s room, not sure what to expect.

  * * * * *

  “Hey.” Emmy said gingerly as she entered the room, taking a seat at Kate’s bedside.

  “Hey yourself.” Kate rasped, the weakness in her voice an unfamiliar trait. Gone was the normally strong and confident tone.

  “Kate, I am so sorry . . .” Emmy began.

  Kate shook her head. “Don’t. It’s okay. Please don’t think that any of this was your fault. It was those nutcases who planned this.”

  It was Emmy’s turn to interrupt. “It’s not just that. I let you down. Before the shooting. You asked me to marry you, you pu
t yourself out there. Laid your heart on the line. And I trampled all over it. Because I was stressed? I don’t know. Because I was afraid to believe in happily ever after? Maybe. Because I stupidly let the words of some jealous ex of yours get to me? Definitely. Whatever the reasons are, they aren’t good ones.”

  “Emmaline, please,” Kate began.

  Emmy shook her head. “I need to say something, need to ask you something. Is that okay?”

  Kate nodded, pulling their joined hands together and placing a gentle kiss on Emmy’s knuckles. “Anything.”

  “It may sound clichéd, but I learned one very valuable lesson these past few days. That I can’t take life or love for granted. I nearly threw it all away because I was stupid and because I let my fear win out. I have done nothing lately to deserve this, but I want you to know that I love you and I want to keep on loving you for the rest of my life. I want to wake up to you every day, go to sleep with you every night. I’d like to think that I would have come to this conclusion on my own anyway, but nearly losing you has made one thing crystal clear. I cannot live my life without you. You are my world. The air that I breathe. The beat of my heart. I love you Kate. And if you’ll still have me, I would be honored to call myself your wife. Will you marry me?” Emmy looked at Kate expectantly.

  Kate took a deep breath before responding. “Maybe.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  “Maybe.”

  Emmy’s heart sank as the words slipped from Kate’s lips. What did that mean? On the one hand, it wasn’t a no. But still . . . “Maybe?” Emmy finally responded.

  Kate nodded slowly. “I want to marry you, Emmaline. But you broke my heart when you turned me down. I trusted you with my heart. And you didn’t trust me in return. I love you so much. But there’s a difference between love and trust. And we need to work on that. So . . . maybe. Let’s just give it, give us, some time. Is that okay?”

  Emmy nodded. She wanted to talk more, to explain herself, her actions. But she knew that she couldn’t. Kate was right. Actions spoke louder than words. Plus, Kate needed her rest. “Of course it’s okay, babe. As long as you’re not giving up on me, that’s enough for me. We’ll start over. And I’ll make sure I try and show you every day how much I love and trust you. We need to work on talking about our feelings. That much I learned over the past few days. So we’ll work on it. And then if . . . no, when . . . we get on solid footing again, I’m going to marry you. Do you hear me?” Emmy said, a smile indicating to Kate that they were okay, that things would be fine.

  Kate nodded and smiled back. “I love you so much, Emmaline Harris.”

  “I love you too.” Emmy replied, placing a light kiss on her lips. She could tell that Kate’s energy was already fading. “But you get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  Kate nodded again and drifted off to sleep, content to know that things were okay. Maybe not perfect, but that they’d get to some semblance of that happily ever after. It would just take some time.

  * * * * *

  Over the course of the next few months, Kate slowly recovered and eased her way back into her Presidential duties. Gone was perhaps just a little of the perky, easy-going side of her, but Emmy knew she’d be able to draw that out in time. In the meantime, Kate had a renewed sense of focus. Given what had happened to her, Kate felt an even more firm sense of duty to the cause of marriage equality. She was not about to give in just because of a little bullet, as she often put it. After getting her fair share of lecturing, including from Beth, who had called her a “lovesick idiot,” Kate dove right back in to her job, no hesitation whatsoever.

  The remaining members of the group responsible for the assassination attempt had been rounded up. It had been a small operation and the threat had been, at least for the moment, neutralized.

  Emmy still dealt with her feelings of responsibility and guilt. Despite repeated assurances from Kate and everyone else under the sun that the shooting had not been her fault, those feelings were not something that went away easily. Over time, however, they waned. It was something Emmy would live with for the rest of her life, but the pain lessened and the burden became less heavy.

  Once Kate was fully recovered, Emmy went back to her duties, still firmly ensconced on the Presidential detail. It had only taken one stern look from Kate and Director Bell never raised the issue of Emmy’s performance again. Kate also refused to hear any suggestion that for both of their safety, Emmy be put on a different detail in order to avoid another incident such as the one that had occurred that fateful day.

  Despite Kate’s insistence that Emmy remain on the job, Emmy could see the strain it put on her girlfriend. Every time they were in public, which was often, Emmy could see the worry on Kate’s face, and could sense her tension and fear. It was as if Kate expected another gunman to come at any moment, to attack Emmy, to take her away from her.

  One night, as Kate lay in her arms, Emmy finally broached the subject. It took her a few minutes to gather her courage. Why was talking about feelings always so tough? She slowly traced patterns on Kate’s chest with her finger and played gently with Kate’s hair. The fidgeting, an obvious sign to Kate that something was on Emmy’s mind, finally caused Kate to speak up. “Emmaline. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “Nothing ,” Emmy said, not quite sure she was ready to say what she had to say.

  “Emmaline . . .” Kate said in a stern tone.

  Emmy sighed, cursing herself for being so transparent. “Okay . . . “ she began, hesitating a bit. “So . . . I was thinking about resigning from the Secret Service.”

  Kate sat up immediately and turned to face Emmy, studying her face intently. “Why on Earth would you do that?” Kate asked. This was coming totally out of the blue and she knew that Emmy loved her job.

  “For you.”

  “I never asked you to do that. Nor would I ever ask that,” Kate responded, totally confused.

  “You didn’t have to ask. I can see how stressed you get every time I’m on duty. How worried,” Emmy said.

  “I do not,” Kate protested, before Emmy cut her off.

  “Yes, you do.”

  Kate sighed. “Alright, maybe a little. But it’s okay. I’ll deal with it. I would never ask you to quit over my own little neuroses.”

  Emmy shook her head. “It’s okay. I love you so much and I know you’d never ask me. Which is why I’m the one deciding. On my own. I don’t want to put you through that any more.”

  “But you love your job, Emmaline.”

  Emmy smiled. “I do. But I love you more. And no job is worth risking your happiness.”

  Kate stared into Emmy’s deep brown eyes, searching for some indication of how to respond. It hurt her heart to know that Emmy was quitting for her. But on the other hand, she couldn’t ignore the immediate wave of relief that had washed over her when Emmy had first said she was contemplating leaving her job. Not that it would completely protect Emmy – as they had both learned so painfully – there were no such guarantees. But at least she’d be out of the job-required line of fire. “Are you sure?” Kate finally asked, gently cupping Emmy’s cheek with her palm.

  Emmy nodded. “I am. Yes, my job makes me happy. But you and your peace of mind make me happier.”

  “What will you do now? If you quit?” Kate asked.

  “I’ll figure something out.” Emmy said.

  Kate still hesitated. It seemed unfair for Emmy to give up her dream job just for her. It was too much. “I don’t think I can ask you to do that. It’s too extreme, Emmaline. It’s unfair to you.”

  Emmy shrugged. “So don’t ask. It’s my decision and I’ve made it. Besides, the look of relief on your face is all the response I need.”

  Kate had nothing else to say. Instead, she pulled Emmy towards her, crashing her lips against Emmy’s. After a few moments, Kate pulled back. “Thank you.” She whispered. “Now take me to bed.”

  * * * * *

  Emmy did “figure something out
.” Kate watched Emmy’s new star status rise astronomically over the next few months. Emmy had become a very visible and outspoken advocate for gay rights, even forming a new foundation to further the issue. This came as a bit of surprise to Kate, since she knew that Emmy was deathly afraid of public speaking – indeed, Kate had had to hold Emmy’s hair back as she was sick right before her first big speech.

  Kate watched from the wings with pride as Emmy gave a thoughtful and articulate speech on the issue. Emmy had worked day and night with speech coaches and it clearly showed. Gone was the nervous, fidgeting, frazzled version of her girlfriend. Instead, Kate watched as the talented, confident, and strong woman she loved spoke to the large crowd as if it were simply a private conversation. Clearly the crowd loved her, watching her with rapt attention. She was intoxicating. She was enchanting. And she was, Kate thought, entirely hers. Her heart felt as if it might burst with pride and love. Emmy had done this for her. She had overcome her fears. For her. She had given up her career. For her. She had taken up this cause with a fire and a passion that was nearly untamable. In short, Emmaline Harris was remarkable. She was breathtaking. She was, in all her imperfections, perfect for Kate.

 

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