Can't Resist You (Second Chance Diaries Book 3)

by Emma Vikes

  “And you promised me that you’ll love me and choose me every day but I’m always the last choice when it comes to you,” Ansel said.

  I could hear the anger in his tone.

  His eyes flashed at me and he slowly shook his head. “You can’t blame me for cheating on you, Maia. You can’t pin all of this on me when you’re the one who lacked attention for our relationship.”

  I stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. He just did a complete 180-degree turn with the situation and made me the bad guy. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Ansel? You’re the one at fault here! You’re the one who made out with another girl that wasn’t your girlfriend!”

  “Because my girlfriend would rather hole herself in her kitchen or bury herself in her books than give me a minute of her time!” His eyes flashed in anger.

  I backed away from him, stunned at how petty he was being. “If it bothered you so much, why didn’t you just break up with me right away?”

  He smirked and shrugged his shoulders callously. “If you were so intent on choosing everything else over me, why didn’t you just let go of me?”

  Ansel was answering my question with another one and it pissed me off even more. “You know what, Ansel, fuck you. Fuck you for cheating on me. Fuck you for being so fucking petty. And fuck you for breaking my heart when all I ever did was love you.”

  By now, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears. The pain was overwhelming and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. All I ever did was love Ansel as much as I could, in the way that I knew how. I thought it would be enough. I knew it always upset him whenever I was busy but I tried to make it up to him when I could.

  It was even more heartbreaking for him to say I was the one at fault for our relationship going downhill when I thought I was trying as best as I could to keep it afloat. I tried to calm myself but it felt impossible to do so. I was shaking and desperate to claw at the pain and remove it from my body so I didn’t have to feel my heart continuously break.

  My mother rushed out of the house, running after the man that continually and consistently betrayed her heart every time. She called after my father, begging him to come back, telling him that she’d forgive him no matter how much I knew doing so broke her apart. She ran after his car, screaming his name, waking up the neighbors that were still fast asleep.

  Sunlight slivered through the dark sky, slowly filling the world with its hazy morning light. My mother laid broken on the asphalt road. Crying and continually calling out the name of the man that didn’t deserve her. It was a heartbreak everyone witnessed at sunrise.

  It was the heartbreak I desperately tried to stay away from but it was the same one breaking my heart at the moment.

  “Maia…” His voice had softened when he called my name.

  I looked at him through the haze of my tears and his honey-colored eyes had lightened. No fury reflected in them anymore and it was almost as if I could see the regret in them.

  “All I did was love in the way that I thought was enough for you, Ansel,” I whispered, wiping at my tears.

  “Maia, I—”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to gather myself together. “I did everything I could to keep this relationship afloat, to save it in the ways I knew how. I compromised with you even when sometimes, I felt like I was the only one doing so. All I wanted was to salvage this relationship but you just did irreparable damage to it.” Taking a deep breath, I tried to look at him in the eyes as evenly as I could. “I thought I could be enough for you. But the kind of girl you want, Ansel? I don’t think I’m that girl. I don’t think any girl who values themselves could ever be.”

  1

  Maia

  8 Years Later

  I stared at the bills stacked on the table and buried my head in my hands. Even a one-month salary pay from a decent restaurant wouldn’t be enough for the bills I had due for this month. What was worse, another envelope sat on the table that I didn’t want to open. It didn’t matter whether I opened it or not because I already knew what would be in it.

  It had been about eight months since the divorce and a month since I got fired at the restaurant of the hotel I’d been working at for nearly a year. Getting fired from my job was honestly more surprising than getting a divorce. It wasn’t something I expected to happen when everything was going well at work for me.

  But for some strange reason, they told me they had to let me go. They said I didn’t really add anything to the dynamic of the kitchen. They claimed they needed someone who did, so they booted me out. It honestly came as a shock to me and the last salary I received- as well as the severance pay- was only enough to last Sage and me a month or two.

  I’ve been doing everything I could to keep Sage and me afloat for the last month. I’ve been selling cookies, cupcakes and pies. Joanne and Giselle helped me sell them but the money I got from them wasn’t even enough to pay back the capital I invested. It wasn’t enough but it was all I could think of at the moment while I scoured the newspapers and the internet for a job.

  The alarm on my phone brought me back to reality and I didn’t even bother glancing at the clock to check the time. It was 6 in the morning but I’d been awake since three. Growing up, people claimed that your demons kept you up at night. No one ever told me the demons they meant were hidden in white envelopes and written in numbers.

  “Mom?”

  I looked up and met my daughter’s light-brown eyes. Her dark hair in disarray and her pajamas looked crumpled. In her right hand, she was dragging her green dinosaur she couldn’t sleep without. Sage rubbed at her eyes and yawned, stretching a little.

  I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her. “What do you want for breakfast, love?”

  “Dippers.”

  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Bacon pancake dippers were Sage’s favorite and they were easy to make too. “Alright. Go shower and I’ll have your breakfast ready once you’re done getting ready for school.”

  “Mom?”

  I turned around to look at her again.

  Sage looked at me with an intensity in her eyes. “You woke up too early again. You really should get enough sleep, Mom. You need it for energy.”

  Of all the things I felt grateful for, Sage was the one I thanked the heavens for each night. So understanding, observant and obedient and the sweetest daughter anyone could ever wish for. Most of the time, I wondered if I could get through the storms of life if she hadn’t been by my side.

  I approached her and wrapped my arms around her, closing my eyes and inhaling her scent. “I have my energizer right here. Let’s stay like this for a minute until your hug recharges me.”

  I savored my hugs with Sage the most because I knew I wouldn’t easily get it once she got older.

  Sage pulled away from me and slipped into the bathroom to get ready for school.

  Half an hour later, she came back into the kitchen, dressed in random clothes.

  I scrunched my nose. Her fashion sense would be the death of me sometimes.

  Sage approached the table.

  I handed her a plate of dippers and a glass of orange juice. I sat in front of her with my own plate and cup of coffee. “Joanne’s going to pick you up from school later and you’ll stay with her at the bakery until I pick you up.”

  She chewed on her food thoughtfully. “Did you get a new job?”

  I flashed her a small smile but shook my head. “Not yet. But I’m meant to apply for one today and you have to pray really hard for me that I get it.”

  “Oh, I know I do if it means that you can take me to Disneyland!”

  My heart sank a little. It had been her dream since she was five and had seen a video of it on YouTube. We lived in San Francisco and we could easily go to the one in Anaheim if only I could afford the rental car and tickets. I promised her I’d take her when she turned seven but things didn’t go as planned for us.

  But Sage never held it against me and never demanded anything from me.
She was literally an angel to me. I reached for her hand and nodded. “I promise that I’ll take you there one day, sweetheart. Storms won’t last forever.”

  Sage just smiled at me and continued eating her food.

  I washed the dishes we used while she fixed the table and the two of us then proceeded to head out to catch the bus to her school. I didn’t have a car anymore. I had to sell it to make sure Sage and I had enough money to cover our expenses and so we had to resort to taking public transportation.

  Sage held my hand when I walked her to school from the bus stop. I watched as other parents dropped their kids with cars.

  A little kid ran over to us. “Hi, Sage! Look at what my Dad got me last night!” She showed Sage a pretty doll.

  My heart broke at the sight of it as Sage let go of my hand and approached her classmate. Sage complimented her classmate and all I could do was watch their interaction as my daughter asked her friend if she could hold it.

  It felt like a machine was drilling into my heart. The fact that I could barely provide for my daughter was the most heart-breaking thing I had to endure, so far in my life. “Sage.”

  Sage’s bright eyes looked at me and she still wore a wide smile on my face. She gave the doll back to her friend and rushed back to me.

  For a moment, I waited for her to ask me to get her the same doll but she didn’t make any comment.

  “Are you going now, Mom?”

  I nodded my head slowly as I fixed her hair. “You be good for your teacher okay?”

  She eagerly nodded and kissed my cheek then gave me a hug. “Bye, Mom. Love you! Get the job, okay?”

  I called a cab and gave the driver the location of the hotel where the interview would be held. It had a five-star restaurant and they were hiring for every position in the kitchen. I wanted to be a sous chef because that had been the position I held in the last restaurant I worked at. But if they were going to give me a lower rank than that, I’d take it. I was in no position to decline.

  The hotel was huge and even the exterior of it screamed how luxurious and fancy it was. Even an overnight stay at the place would be impossible for me to afford. It was honestly intimidating but I took a deep breath and trudged forward. All I needed to do was pass the interview. I already had a good educational background, the only thing I needed to work on was my personality.

  They led me to the restaurant and towards the offices where the chef de cuisine was waiting to interview us. There were about four more candidates which meant four people I needed to beat to get a position. Or if there was some kind of miracle, the four of us would get a position and everybody would win.

  The guy beside me wouldn’t stop shaking his knees making it obvious how anxious he was. His curly red hair and big nose reminded me so much of the chef in Ratatouille. I wanted to put him at ease when my name was called.

  “Maia Quincy.”

  I immediately stood up and followed the secretary into the chef de cuisine’s office. The office looked homey and he had his own mini-kitchen on one side too. It looked absolutely perfect. Another guy stood in the office too, wearing a chef’s uniform. He must’ve been the executive chef.

  Since the establishment, we worked in was a hotel, the chef de cuisine was the one in the highest position. Basically, a chef de cuisine could be considered the CEO of the kitchen or the restaurant. As for the executive chef, he would be the one who reported to the chef de cuisine and also acted as the head chef. The next one in line would be the sous chef, the position I was targeting.

  “You have impeccable educational background in the culinary arts,” the chef de cuisine noted and looked up to meet my eyes. “The last restaurant you’ve worked at is a decent one too. Tell me, what’s the reason why you’ve stopped working with them?”

  She had this motherly vibe about her that made me feel instantly comfortable with her. I played with my hands a little. She didn’t waste her time asking me trivial questions and asked me the question I wanted to carefully thread into. I’d anticipated this question to be asked and a part of me wanted to lie and say I didn’t feel challenged in their kitchen. But that wasn’t the truth and I didn’t want to lie just to get a job.

  As a gamble, I decided to go with the truth to answer her question, “They actually fired me.”

  This piqued her interest and she tilted her head to the side.

  On the other table, the head chef looked at me with the same curiosity too. The executive chef was a big guy but not the kind that reminded you of a teddy bear. He was actually intimidating.

  I felt uncomfortable in my seat as I began to explain and recount why I was fired from the last kitchen I was in, “I don’t think I ever did anything wrong in the kitchen. I was the sous chef and I always did my part, especially when the head chef wasn’t around. But one day they told me that I just don’t fit the dynamic of their kitchen and they wanted someone else.”

  They were both quiet for a moment as they considered my answer.

  The executive chef cleared his throat. “In that regard then, do you think that you would fit the dynamic of our kitchen?”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly then plastered on a smile. “I haven’t been in your kitchen to know for sure but I assure you that I will do the best I can to work in harmony with everyone. If what I think is my best isn’t good enough, I’ll work on that too. I’ll work on anything you want me to as long as it means that I get the job.”

  Both of them glanced at each other.

  Then the chef de cuisine intertwined her hands together. “If you give me a good enough reason to hire you, then you get a position in our kitchen. Your resume is already great by itself and you’ve got experience too. But you need to convince us why you need this job, Maia.”

  I played with my hands again and stared at them on my lap, thinking of what I was meant to say. I’d been desperately scouring the newspapers and the internet for a job opening in any restaurant. “I’m a single mother raising her kid on her own. I know that it’s not right for me to use that excuse but I’m just a mom who desperately wants to provide a good life for her daughter.”

  The chef de cuisine slammed her hand on her table.

  I jumped in shock. My reason must’ve triggered her and pissed her off and I was waiting for her to tell me to get the hell out.

  Instead, she stood up and walked towards me, pulling me in for a hug. “Now, if you lacked the dynamic the last restaurant worked at wanted, I think you’ll fit right in with us. Don’t you agree, Doug?”

  Doug stood up and shook my hand, giving me a warm smile. “I think you’ll be a great sous chef for me. You can head to the restaurant and have your lunch, it’s on the house. We’ll return you at the kitchen when we’re finished with the other applicants.”

  I still felt cautious around him but his smile put me at ease a little bit. All I could do was nod. I felt dizzy at the fact that they hired me but what overwhelmed me more was that he just said I was his sous chef. “Are you telling that I’m—I’m…”

  “You’re our new sous chef. With credentials like yours, it’ll be a waste to put you in a different position. Besides, you're experienced too. Prove to us that you’re good so we don’t regret accepting you,” Doug told me and then gave me a firm nod. “Wait for us at the restaurant. We’ll introduce you to the rest of the staff after this.”

  I was in a daze as I stepped out of the room and came back to the restaurant.

  There wasn’t anyone dining in because the restaurant was still closed. But someone noticed me come out and quickly led me to a table. “Congratulations on getting the job.”

  I was surprised by what she said and could only shyly thank her, “Thank you. How’d you know?”

  She shrugged. “If they didn’t hire you, you would’ve gone out the door by now but they told you to stay and have free lunch, right?”

  Nodding, I shifted in my seat. “I’m still surprised that they hired me, to be honest.”

  She playfully pushed me on the
shoulder as if we were childhood buddies. “They wouldn’t hire you if they didn’t think you’re good enough for the job. The kitchen will prepare your lunch and I’ll deliver it to you right away. I’m Taylor, by the way, the manager of the restaurant. We don’t officially start until tomorrow, so I’ll be the one waiting on you and the others today.”

  “Maia,” I said, introducing myself and shaking her hand, “and please, you don’t have to do that…”

  Taylor rolled her eyes and patted me on the shoulder. “You just relax right there, sweetheart. I saw you come in earlier and saw how anxious you were. You got the job now and it’s time to loosen yourself up. Save the anxiety for your first day tomorrow. I’ll be right back with your food.”

  While waiting, I looked around the restaurant that would be my new home. My heartfelt like it might just burst open in joy. I tried to hold back my tears but I was barely able to. It had been a hard month for Sage and me… but today marked a new beginning for us.

  2

  Ansel

  It was still hard to believe the room I was staying in was the biggest in the hotel I owned and had built through my own hard work. Something I could still barely wrap my head around. It took me eight years to turn a bed and breakfast that only had four rooms into something as luxurious and fancy as Onyx Shrine Hotel.

  Onyx Shrine was only something I’d dreamed with my grandfather when I was a boy. Pops dreamed of merely having his own bed and breakfast. He said the concept always intrigued him and if there were something he wanted to do for the rest of his life, it was to run one. But Pops ended up running the shoe business his father built until he died when I was 25.

  At the time of his death, I’ve only just secured a location to build the bed and breakfast we were meant to run together. It was bittersweet when construction finally finished because it was time to finally run it… but my partner was gone. I’d spent the last eight years expanding and finally turned it into the luxurious building it was today.