Torn

by Escamilla, Michelle

  I looked at him disappointed.

  “Did I say something wrong?” He set down his burger and grabbed my hand.

  “No, I was just hoping that you would tell me something amazing about me.” I sighed. “Ryleigh, I am sorry. Let me try that again!” He cleared his throat and took a drink of his soda. “When I first met you in college, I fell in love with you from the very first second. The way you looked at me and actually listened to me, it was just something I never had ever felt before. I had puppy love when I was younger, but I have to say, Ryleigh, you are my first true love.” He picked up my hand and gently placed a kiss on the top.

  “Really? You think I was your first love?” I actually was quite shocked by this. “Was? You are my first love. And yes, really.” He picked up his burger and took a big bite as if he were avoiding the topic further. I almost felt as if that was just something he had to make up because he didn’t quite get what I was asking of him. I think what really hit me in the face, if he was in fact telling me the truth; he wasn’t my first love.

  We finished up eating and sat in silence looking at all the food that we still had leftover. We had at least three burgers left and fries galore.

  “I really did go overboard with the food, didn’t I? I think that my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach.” He let out a huge sigh and grabbed his stomach. “Well at least I won’t have to worry about making dinner the next couple of nights while you are gone.” I smiled at him but noticed there was that awkward silence after. “Liam. I am going to try and work this out with you. I just need you to know, I am extremely hurt. I don’t know what happened to make you feel different about our relationship, I mean, areyou happy anymore?” I asked, but this time I was not even upset.

  “Ryleigh, I love you more than anything in this world.” I quickly interrupted.

  “Then why?” I asked desperately. “I screwed up. I don’t know what I was doing; I don’t know what I was thinking. I really am happy with you, but the drinks started pouring and my mind just wasn’t all there. I want to be with you and only you, I want to start a family. You own my heart.” He pulled me into his embrace.

  My heart sunk into my stomach. He held me a bit longer before pulling my face up from his chest to kiss me. He kissed me so hard, I don’t think that I have ever felt this much passion from him, but my heart was not with him. I started to feel his hands slowly inch towards my cami straps, he started to pull them off my shoulders and began to kiss my neck and then down to my collar bone. I broke the kiss and pulled away.

  “You okay?” He asked. “You just look liked like you have seen a ghost; your face went really white.” He started to sound worried.

  “I think that the greasy food was a bad idea, I just kinda feel crummy all the sudden.” I put on smile and headed for the stairs. “I am going to head upstairs to lay down. Are you going to come up and pack?”

  “Yeah, I probably should do that.” He said grabbing his shirt and following me upstairs. Liam was very particular in how things were packed, so I left him to do his own thing. I had tried helping a few times but found that I was making more of a mess than I was helping. Usually, he would just tell me to go watch some T.V. or do something else.

  So tonight I plopped down on the bed, turned on the television and watched him begin to pack some of his ties, shirts, socks and boxers. I soon began tofeel my eyes get heavy enough that I decided it was time for an early bed time. Tomorrow was back to work and I was excited to get it over with to spend some time with Caleb.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Ryleigh, its 6:30. You fell asleep before setting your alarm.” Liam whispered into my ear. I know I didn’t say anything that resembled an actual word. I just grumbled at the thought that it was Monday morning all over again. It was a hectic weekend and one that I would have liked to forget, so I should have been welcoming this morning with open arms. Monday’s still sucked.

  I threw the covers off of me and stomped towards the bathroom. I never considered myself a morning person, even though after a cup of coffee some would argue that I was. I quickly began to brush my teeth as Liam walked into the bathroom; he was already showered and ready to go. What time did he get up? I gave him a quizzical look and he seemed to know what I was asking without trying to talk with a mouthful of toothpaste.

  “I was up at 5. My flight leaves at 10, so I wantedto get up and make sure I had everything ready. I gotta be out of here in a few. I did want to make sure that I saw you before I left.” He leaned in and gave me a kiss on my temple. “I’m very happy that you decided to give me a second chance. I laid awake watching you sleep last night and just made me think of what I would do if I lost you. I don’t think that I could live without you.” He moved behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist as I tried to rinse my mouth.

  “Liam we have been together for so long and we have so much that we would just be throwing away. I really hope that we can work through this, but know that I am going to have some trust issues with you. Understand? I am just worried that we need to have some help.”

  “We’ll talk about help maybe later; we can do this together- just you and me. I gotta go; I don’t want to miss my flight. I will be home on Thursday night. I think my flight gets in around 8pm and I will be home around 10. Saturday I still want to just sit home and enjoy you all day, are we still on for dinner at your Mom’s?” He began to grab his luggage I followed him down the stairs.

  “Oh I should probably call and set that up, huh? I will confirm with her and let you know. Umm, I am supposed to go out with Court to dinner tonight, so just text me later.”

  “Alright, I’ll text you when I land. Hey, I love you.” He leaned in and kissed my head.

  “I love you too. Have a safe flight.” I said as I waved him off before running upstairs to get into the shower. I found myself primping more than usual; curling my hair, applying a little more mascara, and ended up wearing a little black dress that I had bought a while ago for a night out on the town but had to cancel. This dress was very fitting in all the right spots and with a V cut, I felt a little sexy to wear this to work but since I was going to see Caleb right afterwards I wanted to feel sexy all day. I felt all types of nervous butterflies floating in my belly today; I was going back to Caleb tonight. I couldn’t wait to see him tonight and spend time with him. I started to feel a little bad that I was making my husband be faithful and yet I was out doing the same thing.

  I had caught a glimpse of the time and found that I was running right on schedule. I needed pick up my pace if I was going to grab some coffee; Ava was going to need a cup also after having taken an extra day off. I grabbed my phone and dialed her up to see what her poison was going to be this morning.

  “Hey! I was just going to call you!” She sounded too perky for a Monday morning. “I am at the coffee shop and am about to get us some coffee, what can I get for you?” “Ava, you read MY mind! I was actually going to head there as well and ask what I could get you! Great minds! Since you are already there, I will take a blonde roast with enough room for cream. I have some creamer at the office, so you don’t have to do it there. Thank you very much!”

  “No problem! I will see you there in a few.” Ava said right before she hung up. I could tell she was next in line to order.

  I decided my next call was to Caleb to see where we were meeting up tonight. Part of me just wanted him to tell me to go straight to his hotel room. I wanted, no, I needed to feel his touch.

  “Good morning beautiful.” Was there something going around that everyone was in a great mood this morning?

  “Hi.” I wasn’t meaning to, but realized that ‘hi’ sounded rather sultry. “Are we still on for tonight?”

  “Of course! I was thinking that we could meet for dinner and then go from there, what do you think?” “Well… I was kind of thinking, since you are moving soon and all… maybe enjoy the luxuries of the hotel room? I know that you get to experience them daily, but…” I couldn’t believe I was inviting
myself up to his room.

  “I don’t mind that idea at all! I just didn’t want to seem like I can’t wait to be inside you so soon! I thought I would float the idea of taking you out and then trying to get you back to my room, but shit, if you want to come here and just be here, I am more than fine with that idea!” He was chuckling.

  “Well, that is exactly what I want to do. I will get off work around 5 or 5:30, just depending on how many emails I have to return since I missed Friday.” I bummed myself out thinking about how many emails awaited my return to the office.

  “I’ll order some dinner for us and have it up here by 6, how is that?”

  “Perfect. I’ll call you when I am on my way over.” I paused for a moment. “And Caleb?” “Yeah?” He asked quietly. “I’m really excited for this evening.” I almost said in a whisper, but not sure why since I was the only one in the car.

  “Me too, Ryleigh.” He sounded so sexual saying my name. The drive into work was rather smooth for a Monday on the highway. It was going to be a good day; at least that was what I kept telling myself the whole drive. I just had to make it through the day and then I could enjoy a hot and steamy night with a just as hot and steamy man.

  Ava was waiting in my office with my coffee when I arrived. She looked like she was glowing. “Well, I give you one day off and you come back towork a whole new woman! What happened to you this weekend?” I said winking to her as I grabbed my coffee. “Walk and talk I need to go to the break room to get my creamer.” I motioned with my head to follow me.

  “A few girls I went to college with, they called me up on Friday night and asked me to go out. I was looking forward to a weekend where I just stayed inmy pajamas, but I ended up going anyway and that was the best decision ever!” Ava squealed. “I met this guy!”

  “Details! Don’t hold out on me!” I stopped pouring my creamer and faced her. “Ryleigh, he’s just incredible! He and I hit it off and just made me melt!” You could tell she was still on cloud nine. “We spent every day together. I thought that guys had that rule about calling someone right away, but he didn’t play that stupid game and called me Saturday afternoon to meet for dinner.”

  “That is awesome Ava! I am very happy for you. Truly. So what is this dream man’s name?” I asked as we headed back to my office. I looked down at my phone and noticed I had six voicemails waiting for me.

  “Brantley. He is so hot too! Black hair, greenish blue eyes, dimples.” Ava let out a sigh. “He has some tattoos that just drove me wild! Ryleigh, he is just so polite and I am just so in like right now!” I laughed at her; I haven’t seen her like this in a while. She had a bad breakup right as she took on this job and I felt horrible because she has just had a couple dates here and there. This guy really must have swept her off her feet.

  “Well, I will have to meet this amazing man!” I said taking a seat at my desk.

  “He is actually meeting me for lunch! I will have him poke his head in and say hey.” “Sounds good. I have so much to do today; I don’t think I am even going to be leaving my desk for lunch.” I said turning on my computer. This was going to be a very long day, especially if I wanted to get out of here on time.

  “I will bring you back something. I better get backto my desk too if I am even going to be able to see him for lunch. And, Ryleigh?” Ava said as she poked her head back into my office. “What’s up?” I asked looking up from my desk. “Thanks for always listening. I’ve always had some sort of gossip or drama and you always take a second to actually listen.” With that she was headed back to her desk. She really was someone I was really glad that I had working for me, other women in the office always seemed to be catty.

  I sat at my desk for the next few hours just working on returning emails and phone calls. I had made a note to myself to figure out why none of the calls were forwarded to my phone over the weekend. I was a person who understood basic programs on the computer and could land accounting deals, when it came to advanced technology I looked like an idiot.

  I had received a file on our latest project and thought that this would be closed by the end of the week. I found that I was really confident in my job; However, in my marriage, my whatever was going on with Caleb, I found that I was less confident in. I needed to figure out what was going on, I needed to let Caleb know.

  I was typing out a proposal for the project when my cell phone began to buzz. I looked down at the caller ID and saw it was Courtney.

  “Hey lady, what are you up to?” I asked trying to multitask, but found that I started to type what I was saying.

  “How did things go yesterday?” She asked hesitantly. “Court, I don’t know what we’re going to do. We are going to try and work things out, but I just don’t know if I feel that fire and passion for him anymore.” I felt my stomach drop as I said the actual words, I had been thinking for the last week.

  “Wow. If you don’t feel it, why stick around?” Courtney said bluntly.

  “Ya know, I don’t know, Court, I really don’t know. I just need some time to figure it out and me ending things right away is something I am not ready to do.” “Okay.” She paused, obviously not wanting to discuss this any further, which was fine by me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it anymore. “Well, I actually called for another reason, you ready?” She said getting a bit more excited.

  “Yes! What’s up?” I asked anxiously.

  “Jason and I have made a decision; we are going to get married first. We talked about this yesterday and we’re going to do something small and quiet.” She took a pause. “In Vegas!”

  “That’s nowhere near small and quiet, Court!” I laughed. “No, but it will be fun and quick. We both sat downand actually talked about the wedding we both wanted and we both actually didn’t want anything big, fancy or expensive. We just wanted to have some fun and be in a place that is filled with fun!”

  “I am totally in! I love Vegas!” I shrieked. A weekend in a town full of fun, where you could get drunk by the pool and spend the night in a club and your mind totally leaves everything behind.

  “Well you better because you are my maid of honor! I’m just bummed that I won’t be able to drink while I am there! Oh well, I can live vicariously through you and feed you all my drinks on top the ones you will already have!” She laughed and then she suddenly stopped. “So who are you going to bring?” I couldn’t tell if she was serious or being a smartass.

  “Court, I would be bringing Liam of course. Why?” My smile had fallen. “Ryleigh, because right now I’m so livid with Liam and his little shenanigans and I don’t know if I can spend a weekend with him around during what is supposed to be a good time. I’m just being honest right now with you.”

  “Well, I can’t bring Caleb! There will be all sorts of pictures and so I can come home and show Liam my fun time in Vegas for our friend’s wedding and this one is of me and Caleb, a guy that I am fucking, and this one is of me and the newlyweds while Caleb is kissing my cheek. Yeah, that will go over really well.” I sighed. “So. When is the big day?”

  “We want to do it in the next two weeks. Now, before you say that I am rushing it, I don’t want to look super huge in my wedding pictures so that is why we are going to do it sooner than later. I am already looking like I am getting a pooch and people start showing around 3 months.” Courtney said as she started crunching on something.

  “What are you eating?” I asked playfully.

  “Shut up, I am eating cucumber! I can’t get enough of the stuff and I hate it! So, we were thinking the first weekend of June. Can you get the weekend off?”

  “Of course I can. So you said two weeks away? I will look at flights now and then I’ll confirm with you. Where are you guys staying?” I started to search for flights right then. “We are going to book a room out at the Aria. I have never been to that one and Jason was set up there during a conference and said he wouldn’t go to another one. He loved it!” I could hear Jason in the background talking but couldn’t make out what he said
. “Jason says that Liam is welcome but to know that if he screws up in the next couple weeks that this offer is off the table and does not want to see his face.” Court said crunching.

  “Deal. I’m going to see if he can go, first, then Iwill book the flights. He is on the plane to New York now, so I’ll talk to him when he lands. It should be about 5 our time. I am so excited for this!” Just then I heard a tap at my door and saw Ava with a big toothy grin. “Hey Court, I need to go. I will call you this evening.”

  “Awesome! Talk to you later.” Court took one more crunch in my ear and hung up.

  “Come in. What’s up Ava?” I asked smiling back at her. “I am not interrupting am I?” She asked before coming in.

  “Of course not, just making plans to head to Vegas, what’s up?” I pushed myself away from my desk to stand up.

  “Ryleigh, this is Brantley.” She said pulling a tall man into my office. He was just as gorgeous as Ava had described. “Brantley, this is my awesome boss, Ryleigh.”

  “Wow, Brantley, it is very nice to meet you. Ava told me about a wonderful weekend she had because of you.” I said as I shook his hand. “Ava is an amazing woman. I don’t usually pick up women in a bar but she just stood out above everyone else. I couldn’t just let her get away.” He said in his deep voice. That made her smile bigger than I have ever seen, it even warmed my heart.

  “Well you two have a great lunch! Brantley it was so nice to meet you.” I didn’t want to sound like I wanted this to rush, but I had to finish up my proposal so I could get everything else that was on my desk done so I could be with Caleb.

  “I think we are just hitting Chili’s, can I bring you back anything?” Ava asked grabbing Brantley’s arm.

  “That would be great, just their Chipotle Chicken Crispers with a side of ranch dressing would be great. Thank you Ava.” I could feel my stomach growl talking about food.

  They both walked out of my office with their hands all over each other. It was cute and sick at the same time. I laughed as I sat back down. I managed to work on my proposal in the time that Ava was gone. It was so nice to get my head out of the clouds, the home life and everything else that was going on. My work seemed to be my sanity today. My phone had buzzed a text message.