The Pearl of Penang

by Clare Flynn

  ‘You had little choice about that. And you were helping her. If she’d had her baby, things might have been different.’

  ‘If she’d had the baby, things could well have been worse. Can you imagine Veronica as a mother?’ He let out a long sigh. ‘But the truth is she feels less of a woman because she hasn’t had a child. And that’s what was getting under her skin with you yesterday.’

  ‘I don’t understand at all, Arthur. Plenty of other women have babies. This can’t be the first time she’s come across an expectant mother at the Penang Club.’

  ‘She doesn’t care about the other women. They’re all in thrall to her – or scared of her. She queens it over them. Her problem is with you because from the very first time she met you, you refused to be cowed by her.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That time you met her in London. She was spitting tacks when she got back to the hotel. She wanted to boss you around, have you hanging on her every word, doing as she told you. Just like everyone else.’

  ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Arthur, I was absolutely terrified of her.’

  He looked up and smiled. ‘Maybe. But you didn’t let her see that. You didn’t give way to her. You’ve always known your own mind, Evie, and Veronica can’t bear that. She wants to play cat and mouse and you refuse to be mouse.’

  ‘But that doesn’t excuse what she did yesterday to Mary Helston.’

  ‘She knows Mary’s your friend. It’s all a game to her. A game that’s completely out of control.’ He brushed a hand through his hair. ‘But most of all, she’s angry because she knows how I feel about you.’

  Evie was horror stricken. ‘You told her?’

  ‘I don’t need to. Veronica’s not stupid. She can tell. I never looked at another woman until I met you. I can’t hide it. She knows me too well. Even on the ship she realised I was falling in love with you. That’s why she’s always been so beastly to you.’ He put his head in his hands again and gave a sigh as if he were carrying all the troubles of the world. ‘I can’t disguise how I feel. It’s obvious that I worship the ground you walk on, Evie. And I can’t sleep at night for thinking about you. For wanting you.’

  ‘Stop, Arthur, please! This isn’t right.’

  ‘That’s the trouble. It’s the only thing that is right. You and me.’

  ‘You’ve said it yourself before.’ Her voice was low. ‘We can’t ever be together. We’re married to other people. That’s the sad and sorry truth of it and there’s nothing we can do to change that. We’re not the kind of people who walk out on our marriages, Arthur.’

  ‘I know. And I know I’ve said that myself. So many times. But I’ve come to a decision. I can’t go on this way. I’m here to beg you to come away with me.’

  Evie felt as if a tidal wave was sweeping over her, carrying her off, helpless and out of control. Gripping the wooden arm of her chair, she said, ‘Arthur, you’re not serious. You can’t possibly mean that.’ Her breath was jerky. She closed her eyes.

  He reached for her hands, holding them in his. She felt that same bolt of electricity she had experienced before at the touch of his skin against hers. Dizzy, disorientated, she struggled to reply, wanting to give in, to abdicate all responsibility to him. His look was intense, determined, certain.

  He bent his head, turned her hands over and touched her palms with his lips. He looked up at her again and said, ‘I love you, Evie. Body and soul. That’s all that matters.’

  At that moment her unborn baby turned over inside her and kicked her soundly. She pulled her hands away from Arthur and placed them over her swollen belly. ‘It’s not just you and me any more. I have the baby to think of. Doug’s baby.’ She felt tears begin to well in her eyes. ‘I love you, Arthur. Desperately, totally, crazily. But it’s too late. That day at the beach it might have been different. But not now. I can’t do it.’

  ‘I’ll take care of you and the baby.’

  She touched the top of his head with her hand, running her fingers through his hair. ‘Oh my dearest darling. You can’t. We can’t. This is Doug’s child and you know as well as I do how much it means to him. And in his peculiar fashion I think he does love me and you are his only friend. It would be such a terrible betrayal I think it would kill him. How can I possibly do that to him? How can you?’

  ‘You can do it because it’s no more than he deserves. He’s treated you appallingly. To do what he did with that woman. He’s forfeited all right to your loyalty.’

  Evie shook her head slowly. ‘How can you say that? You of all people. You who came here after that dreadful day and asked me to talk to him. You who said it was the best thing for me.’

  His face crumpled. ‘You’ve no idea what that cost me. How I’ve cursed myself ever since. It’s the bloody awful wish to try and do the right thing. The decent thing. But the right thing is the wrong thing. The only thing that’s right is that you and I belong together.’

  ‘Arthur, my love, I won’t argue with you. How can I possibly disagree when I feel the way I do, but it’s too late. I can’t possibly leave Doug now.’

  He leaned back and pulled out a rare cigarette, lit it and took a deep draw. ‘I’m leaving Penang, Evie. With or without you. I want you with me. But if you won’t come I have to leave anyway. I can’t go on like this, being so close to you and unable to be with you. I’ve tried. Oh God, I’ve tried, but I can’t do it any more. And I can’t go on watching Veronica spiral ever downwards, knowing that I’m the cause of it.’

  ‘You’re leaving? Where?’ Evie felt as though the ground was coming up to meet her.

  ‘Singapore. I’ve been offered a position there, reporting directly to Sir Shenton Thomas. I accepted it this morning. I’m leaving straight away.’ He looked up at her, his eyes full of love and Evie almost weakened. ‘Please, Evie, come with me.’

  She kept her hands across her belly, to feel the presence of her unborn child, willing it give her strength to hold her course, when every nerve in her body was screaming at her to give way, to say yes to Arthur. And it wasn’t only the baby, there was Jasmine too. Her family. How could she abandon the little girl who had lost her own mother and placed all her trust and love in Evie? ’No,’ she said, trying to control the quaver in her voice. ‘I can’t do that, Arthur.’ She took a big gulp of air. ‘I won’t do that.’

  ’That’s your final decision?’

  She nodded, mutely. ‘And you need to get help for Veronica. Maybe moving to Singapore will be the best thing for her too. A new start for you both.’

  ‘Last night when we got back from the club she threw another fit and tried to stab me with a carving knife.’

  ‘What? She tried to kill you?’

  He ran his hands through his hair again. ‘Look, Evie, you’ve seen how she’s spiralled out of control.’ He put his head back, staring up at the cloud-covered sky. ‘I just can’t do it any more. It’s not just because of how I feel about you and me. I can’t cope with her any more. The drinking. The drugs. The aggression. The infidelities.’ He heaved a deep sigh. ‘No one else knows this, but she’s started picking men up and bringing them home with her. I don’t know how long it’s been going on, but last week I got back after a late meeting to find her with a man. In our home.’

  ‘Oh God. That’s horrible.’

  ‘A young assistant manager for Guthrie’s. Off the boat a few months ago.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Arthur.’

  ‘I’m not sorry. It’s made me realise I was caught in a trap. I don’t care about the consequences any more. I’ve spent years trying to do the right thing by Veronica, feeling sorry for her, for what happened to her, for her problems. I’m done. I’ve nothing left to give.’

  ‘You have so much to give.’ She fixed her eyes on him. ‘Things were better between you both before I arrived. Weren’t they? You can make them better again.’ She screwed a handful of her cotton skirt into a ball, squeezing it tightly as she forced herself to say these things that she didn’t want to say. ’Think
of your career.’

  ‘Sod my career!’ He squeezed his eyes closed. ‘Sorry, Evie. I didn’t mean to swear at you.’ He shook his head. ‘But that’s all I’ve ever thought of until now. But it isn’t enough. Nothing is enough without you.’ He slumped forwards, his head in his hands.

  Evie didn’t know what to say. The thought of no longer seeing Arthur, of no longer having him in her life, was unbearable – even if his presence had never been in the way she really wanted. But if either of them were to make something from this mess they had to put each other out of their minds and find a way to make their marriages work. The only way was to be brutal. Swallowing, she forced herself to say, ‘I will never leave Doug. The vows I took when I married him I took seriously. If I’d known I’d fall in love with you I’d never have made them, but I did, and I intend to stand by them. I’m going to do my utmost to make things work and I think you need to do the same with Veronica. She needs medical help, but most of all she needs you, Arthur. You’ve been her anchor and she must feel cut adrift.’

  His face contorted as he absorbed the impact of her words. ‘You’re telling me to stay with her? In spite of everything?’

  ‘You have to do what’s right for you. But one of the reasons I fell in love with you is that you are a good man. God knows there’s no love lost between me and Veronica but I do feel sorry for her. Her behaviour is a cry for help. To you. The question is, are you ready to listen to it?’

  He sat beside her saying nothing. The crowing of the captive cockerels down the street mingled with the clatter of dishes from the servants’ quarters at the end of the garden.

  If only they could stay here in this garden, in this moment, away from everyone and everything that placed demands upon them. Held inside a bubble, frozen in time.

  Eventually Arthur spoke, staring ahead of him into the middle distance. ‘You’re right of course. You’re so much wiser and stronger than me. If we can’t be together, we must each make the best of what we have been allotted.’

  A wave of relief was mixed with a stab of pain at the prospect of him going away and no longer being part of her life. Pain that was also – she had to acknowledge it – resentment of Veronica for what she would see as a personal victory. The pain was all the sharper knowing that Veronica didn’t want Arthur for himself, only for what he represented, like a game trophy on a white man’s bungalow wall.

  ‘You’ll take her with you to Singapore?’

  ‘I’ll try and persuade her to see a specialist. Someone who might be able to help her.’

  ‘I expect getting her away from here will be a big step on the road to recovery.’ As she said the words they sounded false, insincere to her. If she were to speak the truth it would be that Veronica Leighton could go to hell or be locked away in an asylum for all she cared. Instead she said, ‘You’re doing the right thing, Arthur.’

  He grunted. ‘Good old Arthur. Always reliable. Always ready to do the right thing.’ His eyes were anguished. ‘When all I want to do is the wrong thing. All I want to do is hold you in my arms again and never let you go.’

  ‘Please. Don’t talk that way. You’re making it worse for us both. After today we must never again speak of this. We need to pretend we’ve never said what we’ve said. Never felt the way we feel.’

  ‘What’s said can’t be unsaid and what’s felt can’t be unfelt.’

  ‘But we can make sure we say no more.’

  He got up and began to pace up and down.

  ‘When will you leave?’

  ‘Within the next few days.’

  Her heart lurched. ‘Why so fast?’

  ‘There’s a lot to do. I’m going to be involved in a new joint liaison committee. They’re planning to up the military presence in the Straits. Don’t know how much or when, but there’s talk of a new man coming out later this year to coordinate the Allied forces. We need someone to make it clear to London that Malaya needs more defences.’ Arthur shook his head again, frowning. ‘It’s impossible to get decisions out of them at the moment. Now that Churchill’s taken over and things have hotted up in Europe, no one in Whitehall wants to think about Malaya.’

  Evie didn’t want to talk about the war. She didn’t want to talk about anything. All she wanted was to be held by Arthur, but her duty was to Douglas, Jasmine and her unborn baby. She bit her lip to force herself not to give in to tears.

  Arthur moved to her and drew her to her feet. He stood, holding her against him. She could feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed, could hear the beating of his heart. Her eyes filled with tears but she swallowed them and eased herself away from his hold. ‘You’d better go.’ Looking over his shoulder, she saw Aunty Mimi at the kitchen window watching them. How much had she witnessed?

  Arthur went to take her in his arms again.

  ‘No! Aunty Mimi can see us. Please just go, Arthur. Go.’

  He looked into her eyes, his reflecting his visible pain.

  ‘Goodbye, my darling. I love you. I’ll always love you.’

  Evie turned her head as he walked away, then went down the garden, away from the kitchen windows, so that prying eyes wouldn’t see that her heart was breaking.

  24

  As Evie’s pregnancy advanced, so too did the war in Europe. With the invasion of France, the surrender of Belgium, the retreat of the British Expeditionary Force to Dunkirk and their subsequent dramatic evacuation, all the news from England seemed to be bad news.

  Sitting in the King’s Theatre, watching newsreels of German Panzer tanks rolling through the streets of Paris, Evie felt numb, hollowed out. She remembered a few glorious days she had spent in the French capital with her parents en route to the Cote d’Azur for a holiday. Seeing giant swastikas hanging from the Arc de Triomphe and jackbooted troops parading in triumph along the tree-lined boulevards, was chilling. Placing her hands over her swollen belly she asked herself what kind of world she was bringing her child into. What kind of future might he or she expect when it looked a foregone conclusion that Hitler’s next target would be across the channel? And were he to succeed, there would be no need for any Japanese invasion of Malaya, as the spoils of the British Empire would all fall straight into Hitler’s hands.

  In the darkened theatre, a tide of loneliness and hopelessness washed over her. The hole that Arthur Leighton had left in her life was vast. She may not have seen him often but knowing that he was in the same town, that she might bump into him any day in the street or at a function, had made a greater difference than she had realised, until he was gone. Yet every time she allowed herself to think this, she was consumed by guilt. She had to focus on her family. Arthur had no part in that. Despite his past infidelity, her husband was her future and dreaming of another man was disloyal.

  These last weeks, as her delivery approached, all she wanted was to free herself of the cumbersome burden of carrying the baby. She wanted her body back, to be free of the weight, the discomfort, the constant need to go to the lavatory and the crushing backache. Yet here in the darkened picture house, watching what was happening in the world, Evie wanted to keep her baby safe inside her. Bringing it into such a terrible terrifying world felt too heavy a responsibility.

  The baby was in no hurry to be born anyway. It was into July when Evie finally went into labour – what turned out to be just a few days before the start of the Battle of Britain. The only battle Evie cared about now was the one in her own body as she struggled with the pain of delivering her child.

  To her great relief she produced a healthy boy. Douglas arrived at the hospital in Butterworth, grinning broadly, behind an enormous bouquet of flowers. He bent over the bed and kissed her lightly on the brow. ‘Thank you, Evie,’ was all he said, but his delight was evident.

  Sitting stiffly in a chair at her bedside, he gazed, rapt, at the tiny red-faced, wrinkled bundle as Evie cradled her son in her arms. A frown creased Doug’s face and he looked at her, anxiety in his eyes. ‘I don’t know how to be a good father to him.’ He stretched
his lips into a tight line. ‘I don’t know what to do, how to be all the things my own father wasn’t.’

  Evie was about to laugh. Such an odd thing to say, but she could see his nervousness was genuine. She wanted to say, just love him, but that seemed a step too far for a man like Douglas. He’d think it soppy and sentimental. Love was not a thing for fathers to admit feeling for their sons. So, she said, ‘Just be here for him. That’s all you need to do.’

  Douglas frowned. ‘But he’s so small, so helpless.’

  ‘He won’t be for long.’ She tried to convey reassurance. She was about to add that Douglas should just be himself, then told herself that if ‘being himself’ meant constantly changing moods, frequent absences and impatience, it was hardly a recipe for good parenting. ‘Look, Doug, your father wasn’t around for you. All you need to do is make time for this little chap, talk to him, spend time with him.’

  Her husband nodded, his face grave. ‘It seems such a weighty responsibility now that it’s happened. He’ll inherit the business. I have to make sure he’s prepared.’

  Evie shook her head, smiling. ‘There’s plenty of time for that.’ She stroked the baby’s cheek lightly with a finger, marvelling at the perfection of his tiny, perfectly-formed, rosebud mouth. ‘We’ll have to choose a name for him.’

  ’That’s already decided. He’ll be named Hubert.’

  ‘What? Don’t I get any say?’ She was indignant. Her little boy was not going to be a Hubert. Far too serious and stuffy. Not to mention old-fashioned.

  ‘In this instance, no. The firstborn Barrington son is always named Hubert. My father was and his father and so on for generations back.’

  ‘You weren’t!’

  ‘That’s because I wasn’t the firstborn son.’

  Evie stared at Douglas, shocked. ‘You have a brother?’

  ‘I did. He died.’

  ‘When? How? Was it in the war?’