Chasing Christmas

by Steven Hunt

  “Wait. What’re you doing here?” He looked into Jane’s eyes.

  Her forehead frowned. “What?”

  “Here. At the house.” He swung his arm to encompass the house. “I assumed you and Mandy would be living somewhere else. Didn’t the bank foreclose?”

  Jane’s smile replaced her frown. “Oh, that. It’s all taken care of. The house is still ours.”

  “How is that possible?”

  “I got a job. No, I got a career.”

  Stunned, Teddy’s jaw dropped. “Wha—? You did that for me?”

  “I did it for us.”Jane threw her shoulders back and held her head high as she announced, “I’m the new agent at the McDonald-Truman Real Estate Agency.”

  “Really?”

  “I actually started before you disappear—left. I kept it a secret because I knew your mind was occupied with…um, other things.”

  “Wow,” he said as he pulled her closer. “My wife, the realtor. I’m so proud.”

  As he embraced his family, watching the Christmas lights, he wondered what else he didn’t know or had misinterpreted. He pulled Jane and Mandy closer.

  Right now his mistakes didn’t matter.

  ****

  Forty minutes later, Teddy sat on the couch next to Jane while Mandy knelt on the floor at his feet. The room swirled in colors of cranberry and pine from the lights of the eight-foot Christmas tree in the corner. Seven days ago Teddy had been uncertain if he’d ever see a tree in this home again. Now as he sat near the roaring fire with his family, he fondly remembered how Jane obsessed each year making the tree perfect. The only things missing were presents under the tree.

  “Where did you go, Daddy?” Mandy asked.

  The million dollar question.

  “You know, sweet pea, I’ve been asking myself that for days now. The truth is…I don’t really know. It’s a long story, but—“ He took their hands in his. “—I promise that I will never, ever leave like that again.”

  “You’re better now?”

  “Yes, Mandy, I’m much better.”

  “So what happened?” Jane asked. “You really had us worried.”

  “It’s going to sound crazy, but I swear it’s all true.” He looked at his wife. “Just promise to listen with an open mind. All right?”

  After Jane and Mandy nodded, he began. He told them of his journey through the depression—leaving out his reasons for succumbing to the depression since they would be a topic all their own and he really didn’t want to discuss those now—and the car crash. He told them of Christy and his discovering she was an angel. He mentioned the lessons of faith, hope, and love and how they had plucked him from the darkness and brought him closer to the Truth. He informed them of his teachers, Ezi, Yebo, and Love. He ended by telling them of the deadline, of his meeting the evil Flagg, and Flagg’s attempt to deceive him. “But I made it home and I’m a better man for it.”

  “Red Flagg.” Mandy giggled.

  Teddy looked at her, his eyebrow arched. “What did you say, Mandy?”

  “You said that Flagg had red hair. So he’s Red Flagg.”

  “A red flag.” Teddy repeated. “Why didn’t I see that?”

  Jane nudged him. “Because your mind was not your own. You weren’t thinking like the man I fell in love with.”

  He smiled as he wrapped an arm around his wife. “I had time to search my soul, and I’ve learned I didn’t like my old self very much. I’ve made some terrible mistakes—like not listening, putting my business ahead of my family, and not being faithful to the Truth—and I have changed. Or, it’s probably better to say that I’m a work in progress. From now on, it’s a new day in the Whitaker house!”

  “So what drove you to think you had to kill yourself? Was life with us so terrible?” Jane asked.

  “No, honey. That wasn’t it at all. I know it’s a lame excuse, but I was confused. Sort of like living in a fog all the time. I thought many things—things that drove me into making rash decisions. Things we’ll have to work through.”

  “What kind of things, Teddy?” Jane leaned back.

  He rubbed the scars on his palms. The night he leaped on the train seemed so long ago.

  She deserved to know what had impelled him to drive off that mountain road seven days ago. Not so sure he believed many of his reasons anymore, he prayed they were only a symptom of his depression. His hazy thinking misled him about Jane’s affair and that allowed a small, but penetrable opening for his other errant conclusions to be untrue.

  “Well…” said Teddy. His eyes darted between Jane and Mandy. “Whew! This is hard.” He inhaled a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “OK, here I go.” He felt his cheeks flame. “Before I begin, I want you to keep in mind the warped condition of my thoughts during the depression. I know now that I was wrong—for several reasons. It took the Truth to show my errors.”

  He inhaled another breath, shifted his body toward Jane, and began, “A few months ago—after I started skipping work—I noticed that you were on the telephone a lot. That didn’t bother me as much as when I heard you laugh. That laugh killed me. It sounded the same as the one you used when we were dating and after we were first married. Jealousy jumped on my back as I watched your life continue without me. I became aware of you slipping out of the house more often. You didn’t think I saw you, but I did. One day I followed you. I know I shouldn’t have and I should have trusted you more, but the green monster consumed my mind. That day you went to Frank’s. I began to suspect that you and he were having a…um, thing.”

  “Ugh, gross!” Mandy exclaimed as she wrinkled her nose.

  Jane crossed her arms over her chest. “So instead of asking me, you just decided to leave?”

  “Not at first. I had stopped being much of a provider or a husband or a father. I was a wreck. After I watched you and Mandy load suitcases into the car and drive off on the morning I…um, left I figured our lives as a family were finished. I didn’t want to live without you. I didn’t plan to leave, it just happened that way.”

  “If you didn’t intend to leave, why did you?”

  “I don’t know.” He hung his head. “I needed some fresh air and one thing led to another. I found myself driving around when I had a strong impulse to drive over the cliff and end it all. I even failed at that.” His lips twisted into a faint smile as he directed his gaze to the floor. He couldn’t look at Jane or Mandy.

  “Thank God,” Mandy said.

  Jane folded her right leg under her. She rested her hands on her legs. “Look at me, Teddy.” She cupped his chin, lifting his head. “I wasn’t cheating. I went to Frank for business advice. Those calls you overheard were from clients. If you had just asked, I would have told you.”

  “I know. I was wrong.” He fought the urge to turn away. His confession hurt Jane, but she needed to know the mindset that led to his attempted suicide.

  Shame attempted to control him. He struggled to hold his head up, his eyes off the floor. His embarrassment was minor compared to the ridicule and humiliation Jane and Mandy would have endured if he had been successful.

  He wasn’t the same man who had steered his car off the mountain. The Truth had forgiven him. His mistakes were forgotten. No room left in his new life for regrets or misgivings. An artery of power pumped strength to his heart, giving him the determination to lift his head.

  “But Uncle Frank didn’t act very nice,” Mandy blurted.

  “What?” Teddy looked at Mandy, then Jane.

  Jane shot Mandy a look. A half-smile crossed her lips as she faced him. “Once he thought you were…not coming back, he offered in his own rude way to take care of us.”

  “He did?” He ground out the words between clenched teeth. His scalp tingled. He squeezed the arm of the couch until his hand cramped.

  “It’s settled. I think he’s running scared. But we can talk about him later,” Jane whispered so Mandy could not hear.

  He nodded. He had to trust her. If he’d trusted her a week ago, th
ey wouldn’t be having this discussion. No, that wasn’t fair. In his depressed state, his fragile mind would have concocted another reason—regardless of legitimacy—to use as an excuse for leaving. So what would be the point of getting angry if Jane said the situation had been settled? He relaxed his hand, stretching his fingers to relieve the tension.

  The anger dissipated, disappointment washed over him as the levee of the lengthy friendship burst. His first impulse was to punch Frank in the snout, but that wouldn’t be showing his old friend much love. The old Teddy would have reacted before asking any questions. The new Teddy would give Frank an opportunity to explain. Teddy inhaled a deep breath.

  And Jane was right. It was a subject to be discussed outside of Mandy’s hearing.

  Jane continued, “The day you saw us leave…” She looked at their daughter. “Mandy, would you like to tell your daddy this part?”

  Mandy nodded. She fidgeted, wringing her hands—something she did when nervous. “I’d asked Mom to take me to this rehabilitation clinic I’d heard about. I knew I needed to get clean before this drug-thing took over my life. We took the suitcases because my counselor at school said I’d have to stay. Once the intake counselor at the clinic saw that I was a minor, she said I couldn’t stay, but I could attend as an outpatient. We didn’t tell you ’cause I wanted to surprise you, Daddy.” She darted an apprehensive look toward him.

  Teddy leaned toward Mandy, hugging her. “Oh, honey, I’m so proud of you. But, it should have never gotten this far. I should have reacted differently that night. I’m so sorry. I promise that I’ll be at your side each step of your treatment.”

  He turned to Jane. “While I was gone, I could only think of returning home.”

  “We have a lot of things to work on, but this is a good start,” Jane said. “Pastor Joseph has offered to help us also. We’re just glad you’re home, Teddy.”

  Without warning, Jane slapped him on his shoulder. “You had us worried.” She smiled as she snuggled against him.

  “Ow!” Teddy winced as he reached for his shoulder, feigning pain. He grinned.

  After several minutes, Teddy lifted his arm from around Jane’s shoulders. “Enough of this mushy stuff.” He winked at Mandy. “I have Christmas presents!” Yebo and Love said he’d know the time and this moment felt right.

  “Teddy, don’t tease her.” Jane pushed herself away from him. “Our present is having you home again.”

  “Really.” He glanced at his wife. “I have gifts.

  Jane raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

  “Don’t question him, Mom,” Mandy quipped with a bright smile.

  “I know they’re not much,” Teddy said as he dug in his pocket, “but I wasn’t in a position to go to the mall.” He brought out the wooden box, handing it to Mandy.

  Mandy’s eyes brightened as she held the box with both hands. She caressed the shiny finish before slowly cracking open the lid.

  She has really matured in the last week, thought Teddy. She used to attack her gifts with reckless abandon. Pieces of wrapping used to litter the floor around her. Now she took her time, basking in the moment. His little girl was growing up.

  Mandy stared at the contents of the box, motionless. It was as if the contents had transformed her into a sculpture.

  Had Love just given him an empty box and now Mandy felt cheated? Under his breath, he chided himself for not looking in the box before giving it to Mandy as a Christmas gift.

  Mandy continued to stare at the interior of the box.

  Tension built in the room.

  Like an aftershock, a high-pitched squeal of delight burst from within her. Pinched between her shaking thumb and finger, she held a gold charm bracelet. Allowing the bracelet to balance on her finger, her eyes brimmed with joy. Dangling from the bracelet were three small teardrop diamonds and a single charm in the shape of a heart. U.L. was engraved on the charm.

  “I love it! I love it!” Mandy fingered the charm, turning it until she could see the message. “What’s U.L., Daddy?”

  Teddy heard Love’s voice in his ear. “Unconditional Love, Teddy. That’s what the Truth is all about.”

  He smiled at Mandy, knowing at that instant he would do anything for her. It didn’t matter how bad life became, his love would remain a constant in an ever-changing world. “It stands for unconditional love, honey. The three teardrops represent you, Mom, and me—our family. The diamond’s shapes are for the tears I may cause to fall from your eyes, the tears I have shed for you, and the ones we’ll share together. This bracelet is a reminder that through the good times and bad, my love for you will forever be unconditional.”

  Mandy’s eyes became misty as she clutched the bracelet.

  Teddy dug into his other pocket. “I have something for you too, Jane. I’m sorry it’s not wrapped.” He removed the locket Jason had given him, holding it by the leather strap.

  Not the reaction he’d expected, her hands snapped to her gaping mouth as she fell backward. She gasped. “Where? How? W-where did you find this?” Jane held out her trembling hand, as the first tears raced down her cheeks.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Yes. Oh, yes. I thought it was gone forever.”

  “What?”

  “This is the locket my dad gave me when I was a child. Where did you find it? How did you know?” she asked, her eyes glued to the locket.

  “You? You were the little girl?”

  She ignored his question, turning the locket over in her shaking hands.

  Teddy recited the story Yebo had told him. He mentioned his task to recover the locket from Jason, the thief who had stolen it and killed the father of the house. “How can you be that little girl? I mean, your father’s still alive.”

  Jane’s eyes didn’t waver from locket. “My dad died that night. I lived with my grandparents for months while Momma was in the hospital recovering. Momma remarried before I met you.” The corners of her mouth tightened. “I can still smell that man and see his face when he ripped this locket from my neck.”

  “Why haven’t you ever told me?”

  “It’s not something I care to remember.” She pulled her knees to her chest. “That man scarred me. My daddy gave this locket to me only minutes before that man killed him. Can you imagine the emotional wounds I carried? Each time I talked of Daddy’s murder I had nightmares for months. So I quit speaking of it. I lost so much that night and I wasn’t able to get any of it back. Until now. Thanks to you, I have a small piece of my daddy again.” She pressed the locket to her chest.

  “You know, he watched from outside to make certain you were all right.”

  She wept. “It’s been such a long time. I thought I’d never see this again.” She leaned to him, kissing him on the lips. “I may never completely understand how you did it, but thank you for bringing this special, special locket back to me. This still doesn’t make your little trip OK, but it softens the pain. Somewhat.”

  “This is a great Christmas, huh Mom?” Mandy said. “You got back a piece of your dad, and I got my whole dad back.”

  Jane nodded. “Yes, honey. This is a great Christmas, indeed.”

  33

  Teddy’s eyes fluttered open. The sun’s rays poured light and warmth through the crack between the thick drapes of their bedroom. He stretched as it occurred to him it had been over a week since he’d slept in a real bed. Sleeping in a pile of hay, on a too-short couch, in a cardboard “house,” and on a 1940’s military-style bunk with a flattened, moldy mattress just didn’t compare.

  Jane had fallen asleep with one hand gripping her once-lost locket and her other holding the hand of her once-lost husband. Teddy could tell by her stillness that sleep had carried her into that comfortable place filled with peace and reward.

  Good, he thought as he patted her hand. After what she’d been through she needed the rest.

  He slid to the side and crawled out of bed. Stumbling toward the light sneaking through the curtains of the bay wi
ndow, he raised the glass to allow the cold, fresh air to blow in. Squinting at the bright beams that tore into the smallest corners of his brain, he stretched again. But this time he added up the places on his body where soreness from bumps and bruises reigned supreme.

  Snow had fallen overnight burying everything with an icy, ivory coating. The sun’s glare reflected on the brilliant snow, magnifying the brightness. He adored the scenery of his front lawn, determined to not take any blessings for granted ever again. As he’d learned, he and his family would be able to love and cherish each other even if they lived in a shanty on the poor side of town. They didn’t need this house. They could survive together anywhere on the love pulled from each other and from the Truth.

  Should they sell their house and start new somewhere else? A fresh beginning for a new life? The idea appealed to him, but he’d have to talk it over with Jane. Last night they promised to handle every situation in their future together. Like it should have been.

  Looking around, it seemed as if he’d been gone longer than a week. He scanned the snow-covered lawn trying to identify the shape of the concealed items in the yard. He spotted the swing set for which Mandy had begged when she was five. “I’ll just die, Daddy, if I don’t get a pretty pink swing for my birthday. One with two swings, one for me and one for Gaylen,” she had said.

  Gaylen popped up everywhere, especially at parties. Asking for extra portions of cake and ice cream, Mandy had insisted they were for Gaylen, her imaginary friend. But when Jane tried to put more peas, carrots, or spinach on Mandy’s plate for Gaylen, she conveniently left. Teddy chuckled at the memories.

  He craned his neck to see a tall snowdrift piled around a circular object near the side of the house. That was the wishing well Jane had wanted—the one he never completed. After laboring for two weeks on the circular pattern, he stopped when he couldn’t determine how to attach the roof. He promised himself that he would finish it once the snow melted.

  Another pile of snow covered his riding lawnmower. Buying it had been a battle. Jane couldn’t understand why he needed such an expensive mower when the local hardware store had cheaper versions on sale for half the price. She gave in when he promised that the time saved from mowing the lawn would be used for more family time—time that never happened. As he surveyed the snow-covered mower, he scolded himself for missing out on the chance to build more memories.