Roseflower Creek

by Jackie Lee Miles

  "Well to start with, it's gonna take us gettin' married."

  "But we'll never have a young'un. Married folks s'posed to have a young'un between 'em. Brings 'em together." I could hear a sadness in my mama's voice I ain't heard before.

  "More like brings 'em apart, as I see it," Ray said. It give me a fear in my chest when he said that. I remember thinking Ray might be right. My ma and pa had me between 'em and it sure didn't keep 'em together none. I musta pulled them apart.

  My mama was still crying. I heard the bedsprings creak like they does when she rolls over towards the wall. Then I heard Ray's boots on the floor. The bed creaked a bit louder. He probably set down on the edge and pulled my mama back towards him to sweet-talk her.

  "We're gonna get married like I said we was before any a' this happened. And I'm gonna be good to ya'. I am," Ray said. That sounded like one of his lies for sure.

  "Ain't nobody else in this dad-blame town gonna take care a' ya', that's for sure." My mama didn't answer none that I could hear.

  They told me the next day they was getting married when she got strong enough. Mama seemed happy about it. She was talking about getting a new dress even, and Ray said she could. Mama said it was a good idea; that it was time they settled down. Seemed like a dumb idea to me. Guess she figured Ray was gonna be a new man after the wedding. I couldn't rightly understand my mama's way a' thinking. Ray was a terrible boyfriend. How'd she figure he'd be any better a husband?

  Even so, I wanted her to be happy. I was trying to figure out how it was I'd pulled my ma and pa apart so's I could keep from doing it to Ray and Mama. I thought real hard, but I couldn't think of what it was I done. Those years was mostly all a blur. I just remembered my pa's green truck. And I remembered the smoke coming out of the tailpipe all the while it roared down that dirt road getting away from us.

  Bit by bit, Mama got stronger. All during that time, Ray never hurt her. Not once. I didn't hear no more sounds in the night, either. But then Ray, he stayed out most nights during that time. He'd come home some mornings reeking of perfume. At first I couldn't place where I'd smelled it before. Then I remembered. Connie Dee had some perfume like that. Connie Dee wasn't pretty like Carolee and she was fat, too. Took after their cousin Eugenia, Carolee said. After Connie Dee's boyfriend dumped her for Lou Anne Purdy, she took to wearing a lotta makeup when their pa wasn't around to see, trying to get some other fellas interested in her, I reckon. Mostly she got fatter and fatter. Then she started wearing a lot of that kind a' perfume I smelled on Ray. It come in a pretty dark blue bottle with a silver top. She called it Midnight in Paris.

  "One whif a' this and a man will do 'bout anything," she said.

  All that fat and makeup—she had that right. My mama never let on if she smelled that perfume on Ray. She was making plans for the wedding at the Rock of Calvary Church, up on the hill where we went every Sunday. It was all set for Easter time and the weather was near hot as summer. "A new beginning," Ray said. The year was going real slow. I was still eight, but seems like I shoulda been older.

  I stood next to Mama that day while she and Ray stood under the ivy trellis the church ladies strung up. He give her a gold band, put it on her finger and promised to love her and cherish her 'til he died. He was full of lies, that one. I think the preacher knew it, too. He stood back when the ceremony was over and kept shaking his head as everyone was wishing them well and congratulating Ray.

  Even so, it was a fun day that day they got married. Everybody brought along a different covered dish. The church ladies set the food out on this long table the men carried out to the church lawn. They strung crepe-paper streamers from the trees, and they put these white puffy paper bells in the center of the table. It was a reception or something and the fanciest party I ever been to. Fancier than Carolee's even. Everybody from around Roseflower Creek come. Mz. Hawkins baked a two-layer wedding cake with blue flowers that matched my mama's dress. Mr. Hawkins took a picture of them he give 'em as a present. My mama's smiling real nice. Her eyes is kind of tearful, though. Happy tears probably, but could be sad, I guess, if in her mind she was looking down the road a piece. Still, it's a right nice picture. My favorite. When everything started going wrong for us, the sheriff took that picture and give it to the posse.

  Chapter Seven

  Come June, Lexie was almost ready to have her baby. I went with Melvin in his truck to get Lexie a present to cheer her up while she was waiting. What Melvin told me made it real hard to hate Ray like I wanted to. Melvin said their daddy was a real mean fella. Tried to work hisself out of being poor in Alabama and couldn't do it, so he drunk hisself to pieces trying to forget it. Didn't do a decent job of that, neither. He come home mostly and beat on their mama, and Ray, being the oldest, stood up for her real good and got knocked around hisself more than their mama ever did. Melvin said Ray was right handsome once, 'fore their daddy punched his face in plenty.

  One night their daddy beat Ray so bad he couldn't make it out to the shed to pee and Ray, he messed hisself all night long. Melvin said their daddy whupped him bad in the morning for making a smelly mess for their mama to clean up.

  "You know, Lori Jean," Melvin said, "Ray never let me take a beatin' when I was a boy."

  "Not ever?" I said.

  "Nope. Not ever. He always got in between my pa and me before it could happen."

  That made Ray sorta like a hero, I guess. It made me feel a whole lot sorrowful for him, it did. 'Course that didn't excuse him from hurting my mama none, but I thought maybe it had something to do with why he kept doing it. Maybe my mama looked a bit like his daddy and Ray got confused when he drank all that liquor. I asked Melvin if 'n she did. He said no.

  "Baby girl, I never saw anyone looked like my daddy, praise God almighty."

  So it was still a mystery why Ray kept hurting my ma and sometimes me. I reckoned I'd have to think on that a while longer 'fore I could figure that one out.

  We went into town that day, Melvin and me, and bought Lexie some baby blankets and a package of little T-shirts that's for boy or girl babies. Lexie was feeling right pitiful, she was. It was so hot. We was having one of them summers where nothing grew big enough to brag about at the fair. Peach crop died. Corn didn't come in good and it cost a bunch along the roadside when we tried to buy it. Peanut farmers wasn't real happy that year, neither.

  Lexie was having herself a terrible time. She grew herself a baby belly bigger than any I ever seen. She had a mighty hard time getting around much that last month and she wan't sleeping good a'tall. The heat got so bad I could hardly sleep myself, and I wan't sharing my body with no little baby kicking theirself around, trying to get out. I stayed with Lexie that night when we got back from Clarkston and put washcloths on her forehead. She said it felt so good. Kept me up most of the night, but I didn't have any school so it didn't matter none. I'da done it even if I did.

  Melvin, he still had his job. He had to go to work in the morning so he was fast asleep. He didn't drink hardly ever, just once ever' so often, so he didn't have no trouble keeping work like Ray did.

  Early on the next morning, Melvin left for work about the time I was falling to sleep. I was just drifting off when Lexie Ann woke me up. She had a month left to wait 'fore she had the baby, but that didn't seem to matter much that morning.

  "Lori Jean! Wake up!" Lexie said, and yanked the pillow out from under my head.

  "Lori Jean, go on over to Mz. Hawkins! Tell her to call Doc Crawley and send somebody for me!" Lexie yelled.

  I jumped out of that bed. Lexie had her hand under her belly and was holding it in place like that baby would plumb fall out if she let go. I was so scared it would, I felt the floor ready to leave me. My head told me to get moving, but mostly I just stood there staring.

  "Lori Jean! Go! Go! Go!" Lexie yelled at me.

  I run out to the kitchen. I still had my clothes on from yesterday, except for my shoes. I couldn't rightly 'member where they was. I was looking around for 'em when Lexie le
t out a holler like I never heard a'fore in my life. I looked up and she was laying herself down on the floor flat on her back, moaning something terrible. Water was running out of her bottom all over the kitchen linoleum.

  "Lexie, I best not leave you!" I said. "I best not!"

  "Lori Jean, if you don't go get help right now, I'm gonna kill you, right after I die havin' this baby, hear?" she said.

  I run over to Mz. Hawkins in my bare feet, screaming bloody murder.

  "Mz. Hawkins! Mz. Hawkins! Call Doctor Crawley!" I run right on into her house without knocking or waiting polite like for her to answer.

  "Lexie's havin' her baby! She is! Right there on the kitchen floor!" I yelled. "Doc said it ain't time yet," I said, "but he musta forgot to tell that baby!"

  "Settle down. Settle down," Mz. Hawkins said, and she grabbed her phone to ring up the doctor. Lexie and Melvin didn't have enough money for a phone yet.

  Mz. Hawkins took care of everything. I don't know why Lexie didn't like her none. She run real fast for a fat woman and never even fell over—and her with those skinny little bird legs toting her whole body. She still had her nightdress on and her bosoms was heaving theirselves ever which way. I thought they was gonna knock her down for sure, but they didn't. She was already tending to Lexie when I caught up with her.

  "Lori Jean, get some bedsheets off the bed and bring 'em here," Maybelle said. I done like she said and Maybelle scooted them under Lexie.

  She had Lexie blowing air out of her mouth like she was blowin' up a balloon, or trying to. Mostly Lexie couldn't do it and was squawking real bad. Mz. Hawkins started yelling at her.

  "Pant, Lexie! Pant!" she said. Then she changed her mind, I guess, 'cause she told her to do something else.

  "Okay, push!" she said. "Push!" But Lexie just screamed.

  "Aaaaaaahhhhhh! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" But she must of pushed, too, cause Mz. Hawkins said, "That's it! That's it!" Then she said, "Stop! Don't push no more! Don't push!" It was mighty confusing, it was, but Lexie was just following along as best she could. She was back to blowing air out her mouth again. Maybelle looked up and saw me stuck to the floor like a stickpin.

  "Lori Jean, go on now. Make yourself scarce. This here's woman's work," she said. She shooed me towards the bedroom.

  "Go on," she said. "Go watch out the window for Doc Crawley." Maybelle waved me off with the back of her hand. I stepped backwards towards the bedroom and inched my way to the doorway. When the frame smacked me in the back of the head I stopped and watched, even though she told me not to.

  "Okay, Lexie," Maybelle said. "Now, push again. Hard! Again!" And Lexie did. She pushed so hard her face didn't look like hers no more.

  "That's it! That's it!" Maybelle yelled.

  Lexie looked like somebody just pulled her from the creek. Her hair was plastered flat down to her head. It was still red, but if 'n you didn't know it, sure would of been hard to tell. It looked almost black and her face was so pale white she matched the chalk we cleaned off the board for Mz. Pence, if we was the lucky one got asked to.

  Maybelle brushed her arm across her forehead. Her chest heaved in and out like she was the one doing the pushing.

  "Look! Look here, Lexie!" she said. "You got a baby boy!"

  I come full out of the bedroom doorway then and run over to Lexie. Maybelle had a baby by the feet. It was all blue. Sort of grayish black and blue, it was. It wan't moving or crying or nothing. Maybelle turned it over and rubbed its back real good, but that baby just stayed limp. I was getting real scared for it, I was.

  Lexie wasn't doing too good, neither. She hadn't stop yelling. There was blood everywhere. That kitchen floor looked worse than the spot where MeeMaw used to chop up the chickens. Goodness gracious! All that blood from having one little old baby. That's when the floor disappeared right out from under me. And when that floor come back, it weren't a floor no more. It was a sofa. I was laid out with a sheet tucked all around me. Melvin was there.

  "Baby girl, you had yourself quite a day," he said.

  "Oh, Uncle Melvin," I said. "We had ourselves a baby and there was no one round to help us none."

  "I know, sweet pea," he said. "You just rest now. Doc says you're gonna be just fine, goose egg and all."

  "I wanta see the baby," I said.

  "Well, you just rest for now, baby girl, okay?" Melvin said. That wan't hard since I hadn't slept none the night before. I was wanting to make sure that baby was okay, but a'fore I knew it, I was falling asleep.

  "Is the baby okay, Uncle Melvin?" I whispered as I nodded off. "Is he?"

  "Ssshhhhh," he said. "Go to sleep. Everything's gonna be okay."

  My eyes were real heavy, but I remember thinking the baby's not crying. Matter of factly, the house was quiet as church.

  Chapter Eight

  I don't know for sure why Ray lost his job over there at the cotton mill. He coulda come in with liquor in him. Wouldn't be hard to smell it on his breath. Sometimes he drunk all night long.

  Ray was a hard one to figure out. Sometimes he was so nice to my mama and me, it was like a new man moved into his body and just took over. Like that summer when Lexie was having her baby. She recovered fine from the birthing. And her and Melvin had themselves a set of them twins where you get two babies at once! They was almost identical, they was, 'cept one was a boy and the one that come out when the floor left my feet was a girl. Even so, I couldn't tell them apart, 'lessen their diapers was off. Lexie could.

  Doc Crawley got both of them howling just fine when he got there and had my mama come over to help. Mama got Lexie to nurse them right off and they drifted on to sleep. Ray come, too. He was real jolly. Later when they woke up, he held those babies hisself.

  "It's yore uncle Ray, little fella," he said to the one they named Irl. They named the little girl one Katherine Alice after Lexie's mama. Irl wan't named after no one. Lexie just liked the name real good. Melvin didn't much mind what she called them. He said he liked the babies just fine and he trusted Lexie to give 'em a good name to take 'em through life. I think he was worried how they was gonna afford two of them at once. The mill was cutting back when no one figured on it, so Melvin was getting less hours every week.

  Come Labor Day the mill had their regular year-end picnic for all the workers and their families. Noble Brewster, the boss man, said we could come since Ray worked most of that year 'fore they fired him. That was real nice of him, too, 'cause he didn't have to. They was having a dance for the big folks and everything. It was real special for sure.

  They had lots of good food; watermelon for dessert, all you want even, and they had games and prizes for us kids. The gunnysack race that year was the one to win. They was giving away a new bicycle to whoever finished first. It was one of them two-legged races. You had to register who the contestant was and then your partner just helped you out. They didn't have to know who that was. Carolee and I was practicing a lot together. I didn't have me a bike, so I was the contestant. Carolee had herself a bike her daddy fixed up for her. She wanted me to win that bike so we could go riding all over together without me riding on the back of her bike like we always done. That was a real good idea, too, plus I wanted it bad. I never had me a bike before.

  We practiced day after day, we did. With a gunnysack race, 'lessen you git good, mostly you just fall on your nose when you go fast. But we was getting better at it and the skin on our noses was healing up pretty good.

  The day of the race we was surprised to see Darla Faye in line 'cause she had herself a fine bicycle already. But there she was, registered as a contestant and her cousin John Thomas was her partner.

  We all lined up in a row. Darla Faye and John Thomas managed to settle themselves right next to me and Carolee. They was grinning ear to ear. Now me and Carolee, we was taking this race real serious like. We wasn't grinning at nobody, but we wasn't trying to be unfriendly or nothing. We was just concentrating real hard on winning 'cause a lot depended on it. We was real tired of riding double on Carole
e's bike. We was sorely determined to get me one of my own, and this was about the only chance. Ray still hadn't found any regular work, just odd jobs and stuff.

  The fella in charge of the race blew his whistle and we took off. Carolee and me darted away from that starting line so fast we was three feet ahead of everybody. We'd practiced for days on end pretending our ankles was locked together in a gunnysack, and we got real good at it, too. Now one a' her legs and one a' my legs was acting like they was just one leg. We kept barreling ahead faster and faster. I sneaked a peek sideways and saw John Thomas and Darla Faye inching up next to us. They was almost neck to neck, so we plugged along faster. We was still a touch ahead of them and that's all it took to win. There was only a few feet left to go and we'd be at the finish line! I was so excited my heart was pounding out of my body and my spirits was floating somewhere up on a cloud. I was getting me that beautiful new bike! I knew it. I was inches away. Next thing you know, John Thomas took a flying leap trying to catch us and Darla Faye got plumb knocked off her feet in the process.