Roseflower Creek

by Jackie Lee Miles

  Mama said we'd do something for my birthday later, but we wasn't fixing to have no regular birthday party or nothing like Carolee had herself 'fore she died. We was still getting over the fire and Iris Anne's passing.

  I spent that morning helping Mz. Hawkins like I always did on weekends. I knew it was the perfect chance for me to ask for her help in taking the money back. I was hoping she'd feel a bit sorrowful for us, what with all the troubles our family was having; that she'd take pity on us and help me. Plus, it being my birthday, she might like to do something nice for me. Never know.

  "Mz. Hawkins," I said, "supposin' somebody was in trouble and needed help and was real sorrowful for their trouble. Would you help 'em?"

  "Well, I always been a Christian lady. It'd be my duty to help now, wouldn't it?"

  "That's what I figure," I said. "See, I need me some help, Mz. Hawkins, but I don't rightly want you to ask me no questions 'cause it's real serious trouble."

  "Well now, Lori Jean, I can't rightly help unless you tell me how it is I can help you."

  "Well, Mz. Hawkins, I just need you to drive me on over to Decatur for a piece is all."

  "I can't be gallivanting all over Georgia without knowing why now, can I? Hardly seems right."

  "But it's a secret, Mz. Hawkins. I ain't told no one."

  "You can tell me, Lori Jean. I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm going to help you, remember?" She was making it sound so easy. I should of asked her weeks ago when Ray was in the hospital. We finished folding up the laundry. I stacked it up nice and put it in the wicker basket.

  "Reckon I should take this on up to the linen closet, Mz. Hawkins?"

  "Oh, just leave that be, Lori Jean. I'll get it myself later." She was being so nice. It was my lucky day and here it was my birthday, too. Things was gonna be perfect. Mama was home baking a cake and getting everything ready for a nice supper with Aunt Lexie and Uncle Melvin and the twins. Little Irl was home from the hospital and learning to walk again with these braces they put on his legs. The doctors said he was one tough little fella. He was gonna be fine. Might even be able to do without braces someday. Mama said Lexie would get over losing Iris Anne eventually, probably have herself another baby even.

  "Nothin' like a new little baby to help heal wounds, Lori Jean," she said.

  "'Course that won't ever replace little Iris, but all babies bring their own joy into this world. God knows we need some, after all we been through this year," Mama said that morning 'fore I left for Mz. Hawkins's.

  Now the day could really be perfect. I'd take that sack of money back to the mill and go on home to a fine birthday supper. If we was lucky Ray wouldn't get too drunk. He was back to drinking most every night again. He started up again when the doctor wouldn't give him no more pain pills; said he didn't need 'em no more. Mama was beside herself. But I wasn't going to let his drinking spoil my day. No sirree. Now, if only Mz. Hawkins would help me, then things could be perfect. I'd have me a really fine day.

  "Go on, Lori Jean. Tell me why we're going to Decatur. I ain't got all day," Maybelle said. As much as I wanted to tell her and get on with it, something inside held me back.

  "Lori Jean, didn't you tell me today's your birthday?"

  "Yes, ma'am," I said.

  "Well then, shake a leg. Don't you want to get home to your family?"

  "I surely do. Mama's havin' a supper for me with Uncle Melvin and Aunt Lexie and the twins. We're havin' cake and maybe ice cream, too."

  "Well, there you go. You need to tell me what's what and be done with it, girl."

  "Mz. Hawkins, I need you to take me on over to the Scottsdale Cotton Mill so's I can take the money back I found in a flour sack the day of the fire." I spit it all out in one breath.

  "You found what?" Mz. Hawkins's mouth dropped open.

  "I found the payroll money that was took from the mill. Ray done stole it when he was drunk, Mz. Hawkins. I got to get it back so we can be a family."

  "You mean that money they're giving a five-hundred-dollar reward for?"

  "Yes, ma'am. That very money."

  "Lori Jean, you wait right here. I'll be right back. I'll just make a telephone call and clear all this up. That's just what I'll do. You wait right here. Just one little telephone call," she said.

  Mz. Hawkins got up and went out to her kitchen. I knew her phone was out there hung on the wall. At first, I was sorely relieved. But then, I got me a bit nervous. I started remembering all the things I should of remembered 'fore I told her my secret. Like how much she liked money and never could seem to get enough. And five hundred dollars' reward was a whole bunch of money to get. And I was remembering what Aunt Lexie told me at the fair about her causing more trouble than a hurricane that hits in the night. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got. I knew I'd made me a big mistake. I sneaked around the corner and seen Maybelle take the phone off the hook. She put her finger on the big black dial and dialed the first number. Then she dialed the second number. Only two more to go and whoever she was calling would be on the line. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't chance that who she was calling was somebody who would help me. I run outside to where them men strung that rubber line up to her house and I tried to yank it clean out of the box it was hooked up to, but it wouldn't budge. I pulled as hard as I could, but it didn't do no good. Whoever hooked it up the day they fixed it oughta get a raise for sure. They done a really good job.

  Chapter Twenty

  I took off running to our old place to dig up the money. A storm had been brewing all morning and just about then it got real nasty. Streaks of lightning flashed across the sky and it weren't long the thunder started in. Then the rain come down and drenched me good. I wasn't having me a very good day after all.

  When I got to the outhouse I slipped down on my knees and used my hands to dig at the muddy ground, hoping to get at the flour sack stuck in the hole. But all I found was bits and pieces of it and a couple a' soggy ten-dollar bills. I was just plumb full of panic and my mind wasn't working good. Then I remembered I'd moved the money that day Mz. Hawkins brought me home from the hospital when Iris Anne died. I put it there in the woods in the hollow of an old tree trunk. I thought I'd been right careful that day to pick up every stray bill that fell out of that pitiful sack. I seen now I missed some and I left big soggy pieces of what was left of that flour sack, too. They was stuck in the muddy dirt all around the edge of the shed. I gathered up bits and pieces of the flour sack and what money was there and stuffed it into my overhauls.

  "Where's the rest a' it, you little shit?" A big thunder of a voice boomed out and I looked up at the black sky above me, fixing to see who coulda said it. Was it God? If it were, he was plenty mad 'cause he done said the poop word!

  "I said where's the rest a' it?" It was Ray. He come staggering out of the trees on the far side of the outhouse.

  "You told me that sack burned, girl." He come at me so fast I near froze in my tracks.

  "You lied," he said. He grabbed hold of my shoulder. "Where's the money?" He grabbed a fistful of my hair, wound it tight around his hand and jerked my head back so hard I bit my tongue.

  "Where is it?" he screamed into my good ear. 'Fore I had me a chance to answer, he flung me to the ground. A big chunk of my hair got left with him. It stuck right there to his fingers. His hands was all full of mud. He'd probably been digging round the outhouse to loosen it up so's he and Uncle Melvin could move it over to our place, and he musta seen some of them bills I left behind.

  "I come here, Lori Jean, mindin' my own business, fixin' to get this here outhouse moved, and what do you think I find me?" he asked. "Huh? What'd I find, girl?" I didn't answer. I started scrambling to my feet.

  "You lied to me, girl! You hid that money, and all this time you been lyin' to me. All this time I been workin', movin' them trailers, bustin' my back, and you been sittin' on my money." Ray come at me and kicked me straight in the belly. A pain cut through me so sharp I thought his foot was a knife. It cut i
nto me so bad I couldn't talk. I couldn't tell him I kept it so I could take it back. So's we'd be a family.

  He kicked me again. I started to moan something awful; it hurt me so bad. He kicked me over and over on my backside real low below my waist. I throwed up all over the ground.

  "Ray," I whispered, "I was takin' it back so…I was…"

  He jerked me to my feet. More pain shot down my spine and into my legs.

  "…takin' it back so we could be a family and you wouldn't go to the chain gang…so you wouldn't get in no trouble…'"

  "'I was takin' it back so you wouldn't get in no trouble…'" he mimicked me. "Trouble is what you're gonna get if I don't get my money. Where is it?" He punched me hard in the belly three times in a row. I didn't know a person could throw up as hard as I did then. It come outa me so fast it went flying through the air like water shooting out a garden hose.

  "I hid it," I said, but it come out real soft; don't know if he heard. Snot and blood come out, too.

  "I hid it. But I'll git it for you. I will. Let me go, Ray! Let me go! I'll git it for you," I said over and over but them words still come out so quiet, they was hardly even a whisper.

  "Let's go," he said.

  I limped about trying to remember where the money was with Ray at my heels. My mind was playing this trick on me and wouldn't tell me which part of them woods I hid it. I stumbled from this place to that place to another place and dug with my fingers at all of them, but couldn't find the sack.

  "I can't remember, Ray," I said. "It's here somewhere, it is. I just can't remember."

  "You're lyin! Git me that money!"

  "Honest, Ray, I ain't lyin'," I said. "I ain't. I promise you, I ain't."

  "Give me that money!" Ray beat at my face. He punched me like I seen them cowboys do in the movies. I keeped landing on my backside each time he swung at me. But every time I hit the ground, Ray grabbed me up and hit me again. I felt my jaw crack. And when I tried to tell him one more time I wasn't lying, my mouth didn't work. I reached up to touch it. It was wide open and my chin just dangled like one a' them ornaments hung from a tree. Bits of my teeth fell into my hand and I coughed up some blood. My ears roared like them waterfalls I visited once with MeeMaw at Tallulah Falls. I couldn't hear what Ray was saying no more, neither. I seen him forming words on his lips, but my ears didn't work, not even my good one. Strange thing, the beating Ray was giving me was wearing him down. I could tell he was breathing hard by the way his chest was moving up and down, and he was staggering about in a circle trying to catch his breath. That was my chance.

  I took off running and kept going 'til my legs give out and I dropped down in the tall grass by the creek. The ground was so soggy, my shoulders and feet sunk right in. I curled up on my side and rocked my tummy and sucked in that Georgia red clay 'til it clung like perfume that wouldn't let go.

  Then something mighty peculiar happened. All them places on my body that hurt me so bad started to not hurt me so bad no more. And the sky, it was swirling with these pretty lights, and the ground wasn't cold and wet like it were when I fell. 'Fore long I wasn't even on the ground no more. I was floating on pillows soft as clouds. Imagine that! And that blanket of barbed wire that wrapped me tight snapped off and a comforter thick and warm as a jacket of goose feathers took its place. The roaring in my ears stopped, too. And my teeth weren't jagged on my tongue no more, neither. Fancy that! I laid there and rested myself good for quite a spell.

  It took me awhile, but eventually I knowed I wasn't part of their world no more; the one Ray and Mama and Uncle Melvin and Aunt Lexie lived in. I wasn't part of it, but I was near it. I watched from a place, soft and peaceful, a place full of light, far off, but close enough to see and hear everything. It was something, I'm telling ya'. I wasn't really there, yet I was. I could hear, but they couldn't hear me. I could talk, but they couldn't talk back. I called over and over. No one answered.

  Ray come looking for me then. He yelled, his voice filled with liquor.

  "Lori Jean! You git back here! Ya' hear me?" he said. I heared him, but I didn't answer. He found me then; stumbled over me in the grass. He yanked me up by my hair, but I didn't move. That's when he seen—I couldn't walk. I couldn't breathe. That's when he changed his tune. He dropped down on his knees and held me so nice. He had his arms wrapped all around me and he was hugging me to his chest, just like a regular daddy, just like I always wanted him to.

  "Oh my girl, my sweet baby girl," he said over and over. I watched him carry me down to Roseflower Creek and dump me in the water. There I was, floating on a cloud, floating in the river, right in the middle of the creek! Ray took off running and I followed him home. It was mighty peculiar. He couldn't tell I was there. And my body didn't have to move to go with him, but I could see everything going on, plain as church.

  Mama was busy setting the table for my birthday supper. She'd made a roast and boiled potatoes and collard greens and corn bread. There was carrots next to the roast and gravy in a pan on the stove. My cake didn't have any frosting, but it had sugar sprinkled on the top with ten candles. Looked real fine.

  "Nadine, pack your bag. We gotta get outa here," Ray said when he burst in the door of the trailer. Mama whirled around.

  "What in blue heaven are you talkin' about, Ray?"

  "Don't be askin' no questions, Nadine. I'm the man of this family, and I say we gotta clear out of here!" He grabbed Mama by the hair, spun her around and shoved her towards the back of the trailer where the bedroom was.

  "Git! Git yore stuff. Git it now or leave it. Either way, we're goin'." Mama had gotten some of her old spunk back while Ray was recuperating from the fire, and I think she might of give him some trouble about leaving, but when she seen the look in his eye something must of told her to go along with him. She went and grabbed a few things and stuck 'em in a pillowcase.

  "We got to go on over to Mz. Hawkins's and get Lori Jean," she said. Mama folded the pillowcase in half and laid my sweater and extra coveralls on top.

  "And we should stop by Melvin and Lexie's. Tell 'em supper's off, too. You ain't forgot it's Lori Jean's birthday, have you?" she asked. "This supper I fixed here is for her." Mama pointed to all the fixin's.

  Ray shoved Mama out the door of the trailer. "We can't be worried 'bout no supper right now. Get in the truck." Mama climbed up on the front seat of the truck. He slammed the door shut behind her.

  "Can't you tell me what's goin' on at least, Ray? We got a life here," Mama yelled out the window as he run to the other side of the truck.

  "We don't got nothin', woman, if we don't get outa' here."

  "Someone after you, Ray? Did somethin' happen with Mr. Jenkins? Huh?" Ray didn't answer. He put the truck in gear and tore off down the dirt road, but when he got to the end of it he didn't head towards town like he always done before. He turned onto the part of the road that led up to Sugarville. There weren't nothing up there but backroads and woods and a bunch of abandoned shacks from when people got tired of looking for gold MeeMaw said probably wasn't there to begin with.

  "If ya' done somethin' wrong, Ray, it's best we face it. There ain't no sense in runnin', Ray," Mama said. "We kin…"

  "Shut up!" Ray yelled. "Shut up!" He swung his right arm out and smacked her good on the side of her face.

  "I can't think straight with you runnin' yore mouth." It was then Mama noticed what direction he was going in.

  "Ray! Turn around! Turn around! We gotta git Lori Jean!" she said.

  "We'll have to have Melvin bring her to us later. They're ain't no time right now." That's when Mama started to wail.

  "Oh, God, oh, God! What's goin' on?" She was crying and carrying on something terrible. I knowed then she loved me like she done loved MeeMaw. I sure felt good about that. But that lying no-count Ray, he told her Melvin could bring me up to wherever they was headed, and that was one his lies for sure 'cause I weren't around to bring nowhere to nobody no more. I knew when my mama found out what he done to me she'd probably n
ot want to be going with him ever again. That part would suit me fine. We never got to be no family nohow. Ray done brought Mama a lot of heartache and he was fixin' to dump some more on her. She deserved someone better than him. She deserved someone like Uncle Melvin who'd take care of her and love her up right. And here we'd been trying to give Ray all the love he done missed when he was a little boy, and it didn't do a lick of good.

  They drove until they was on empty and Ray stopped at a filling station in a little town called McCoy. A man come out with dirty overhauls and a dirty cap to match. His name was written on the top of his overhauls in red thread. Chester it said. He was sucking on a toothpick. He pushed it to the side of his mouth with his tongue when he talked. He never once choked on it, so he'd probably been sucking on toothpicks a long time.