by Julia Amante
“Oh, well, that sounds nice, but I’m actually on the way out the door. Mom and Lucia are coming home today, and I’m going to go pick them up. Well, pick Mom up. Antonio will be there for Lucia.”
Jaqueline was coming home. His heart picked up speed. He wished he were the one that was going to be waiting on the dock to collect his wife. Like Antonio. What if he did? What if he were standing there waiting for her? What would she say? Would she be happy or refuse to get in the car with him?
“Dad?”
“I see. Well, that’s good news. I mean, that your mother is coming home. I… bet you missed her.”
“Yes, I have,” she said in a whisper-soft voice.
She was so grown up. She made him feel so old. Like after all these years she could see right through him the way he used to be able to see though her. “Well, we can have lunch another day. During the week I’m sort of swamped with work.”
“Me, too,” she said. “Next Saturday?”
“Sure, next Saturday is good.”
“Okay, Dad. Thanks. It’s good to hear from you.”
“Yeah.”
“I… I’ll see you soon.”
Was she going to say she loved him? She used to all the time. He hung the phone up and leaned back in his chair. Maybe he should have been the one to tell her he loved her.
Victoria cried in Eric’s arms.
He patted her back and chuckled. “I don’t understand why you’re crying. He called. That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“But he sounds so sad, so alone. So distant.”
“Victoria, I’ll go pick up your mother if you want to go have lunch with him. To hell with the real-estate walk-through. I’ll call our Realtor and tell her to do that on Monday.”
“No.” She shook her head and wiped her eyes, pulling out of his arms. “I want to go pick up my mom. And you need to do the walk-through and get the house on the market.”
He placed his hand on her cheek. “I don’t need to do anything. Except make you happy.”
Eric filled a void in her heart that she had never known was there. With her, he was sweet and considerate and always said the right thing. “You do make me happy. Too happy.”
“Too happy?” He laughed. “How is that possible?”
“It all seems too perfect, doesn’t it?”
His hands slipped behind her neck. “Love is supposed to be perfect.”
What did either of them know about love? “Is it?”
He eased her back and crawled over her. “Yes. And just for the record, you make me happy, too.”
She hooked her arms around his neck. “Make love to me before I have to go.”
Her request made him smile. “We don’t have much time.”
“We won’t need much time.”
They made love passionately, taking off enough clothes to satisfy each other. Victoria’s worries melted away. Life really was perfect with Eric, and she didn’t want it to ever end.
Victoria picked up Jaqueline. Antonio was there to pull his wife into his arms and kiss her in a way Victoria had never seen her parents kiss. The moment was so touching and personal that she and Jaqueline left them alone and headed to the car. Other than driving her home and listening to all the exciting things she’d done, they didn’t spend a long time together. Victoria could tell her mother was tired.
They walked into her childhood home. The house felt cool, and a lack of air gave the house an oppressive feel. “You need to open the windows.” Victoria stood in the living room looking around, not feeling the comfortable sensations that used to greet her when she came home. Instead everything seemed strangely foreign.
“I’ll do that later. Right now I want a shower and to get some sleep.”
Victoria couldn’t stand it. She opened the living room window. “There. I guess I’ll leave you alone to rest. Call you during the week?”
“Sure.” Jaqueline came forward and wrapped her arms around her daughter. “It’s so good to see you.”
Victoria closed her eyes. “Good to see you, too.” She held on to her mother tightly.
Jaqueline drew back. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine.”
“You seem a little different.”
Was she kidding? Everything was different lately. She was simultaneously deliriously happy and nursing a sense of loss where her family was concerned.
“Maybe it’s just me,” Jaqueline said. “You know my mother used to say that it’s easy to see when you open your eyes—sounds better in Spanish.” She gripped Victoria’s shoulders and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “I’m seeing a grown woman for the first time when I look at you, though I know she’s been there all along.”
Tears sprung to cloud Victoria’s vision. Her mother didn’t know what those words meant to her. She’d wanted her mother to see her as a mature adult for so long. “I guess I’m finally acting like a grown woman,” she said.
“I’m proud of you, mi vida. I’m proud that you’re following your heart. That you’re strong and independent. Just let me baby you every once in a while, okay?”
Victoria nodded. “You got it.”
She drove home, savoring the bittersweet shift in her world.
Victoria turned in a project, incorporating all the design details into a presentation board. Her instructor asked her to wait after class.
“Your project looks fantastic, Victoria.” He said. “You obviously spent a lot of time working on it.”
“I guess so. I never notice the time passing by.” She wished she could say she struggled to get it done just right so it would sound more like she worked hard, but the truth was she didn’t consider it work at all.
“You can be proud of the natural talent you have, Victoria,” the instructor said.
“Thanks, but it was a blast. I loved it.”
“I just wanted to congratulate you and tell you to stick with this. You’re going to be very successful if you do.”
She thanked him and, on cloud nine, hurried off to work. The few hours she spent at the design firm seemed to be paying off. It certainly was another thing she was loving. She didn’t get paid much, but the work experience was worth more than money right now.
Still, when Eric sold the house and paid her for her work, she’d welcome the money. She’d been dipping a bit into her savings, and she didn’t want to do that. Once she had to start paying rent, she’d need that money.
But for now, she decided not to worry about any of that and enjoy her life, which got greater every day.
Victor made sure a perfect lunch was prepared for him and Victoria Saturday morning. By the time she arrived at noon, everything was ready and waiting for her. He filled her glass with wine and sat across from her. She looked amazing. Happy. Healthy. Alive in a way she’d never looked when she worked at La Parrilla. “Raining outside?” he asked.
“Drizzly. Not bad for the middle of November.” She took off her coat.
He nodded. “I had them prepare a full parrillada. I hope you’re hungry.”
The waiter brought a plate of empanadas for them to start with.
“Starving,” she said, taking one of the meat pies. “How are the new restaurants shaping up?”
“Great. You’ve got to come see them. My favorite is the one in Newport Beach.”
She smiled a wide, bright smile. “I’d love to see them.” She took a bite out of her empanada.
“It’s been much harder than I thought, though. The expenses. And dealing with contractors and banks and, hell, everyone. And keeping up here.”
She swirled the wine in her glass, then took a sip, washing down the food. “I’m sorry I left when I did, Dad. It was bad timing.”
He shrugged. “Don’t apologize.” He was the one who was supposed to be apologizing. “You look happy and that’s what’s important.”
“I’m done working on Eric’s property. It’s just a matter of getting the house sold now. I might have some time to come help you out.”
&n
bsp; Of course he’d love that. To see her more often. To get her involved again. The right way this time. He wanted to jump all over her offer. “Thanks, Victoria. I’ll think about it, and give you a call if I need you.”
“Oh,” she said. “Okay.”
He didn’t want her to think he was rejecting her, but he wanted her to follow her own path now that she’d started. Hell, being a parent was hard, even now that she was grown. What was the right thing to do? “I never realized that you had desires to explore your love of decoration. With Carmen, I knew. She loved school, she got amazing grades. I knew what she wanted. But with you… you didn’t seem to want anything in particular.”
She nodded, but he felt it wasn’t really an agreement.
“I wanted you to be free to do nothing.”
“Most daughters would be happy to play the role of pampered princess,” Victoria said. “But I felt useless.”
Victor could understand that. He was only sorry he hadn’t seen it. “So now you’re enjoying whatever you’re doing?”
“I’m loving it. I’m taking classes at a design institute. I’m working for a design company and learning a lot. And staging Eric’s real-estate investment was the most fun I’ve ever had.”
Fun. What was it with young people always having to think of work as fun? Work was work. Challenging, satisfying, lucrative. But fun? He didn’t understand that. “What are you going to do when he sells the house?”
She lowered her gaze and shrugged. “If he decides to flip another house, I guess he’ll use me again.”
Victor pinned a look on her and he couldn’t help himself—he’d never been able to keep his mouth shut when it came to the men she dated, and this was no exception. “Interesting choice of words. What are you doing living with a man, Victoria?”
“It’s not like that.” She looked him in the eye. “Well, it wasn’t like that when it started.”
Victor cursed.
“I… love him.”
“He’s going to leave you once he sells his house and has had his fill of you.” That was harsh, but she needed to hear the truth.
“I’ll still love him. Besides, I’ve always known he wasn’t going to be here forever.”
“Then I’m surprised at what you’re doing.”
“Dad, please.”
The waiter placed the steaming parrilla, a grill, in the center of the table. Victor stabbed a slab of short ribs and a chorizo. If he got his hands on Eric, he planned to bruise a few of his ribs. “Look, Victoria, I wasn’t always the best husband, but—”
“Especially lately.”
He held her gaze, not liking the look of condemnation in her eyes. He thought of Jaqueline and how he never felt he was good enough for her. Always wanting to prove to her that she made the right choice in marrying him. “It’s torture to be married to someone you never feel you’re going to measure up to, and with your mother, I always knew she deserved more than me.”
Victoria frowned as she cut into her beef.
“So I’ve spent my whole life trying to become the man I’d promised her I’d be, and almost no time being a husband she could love.”
“There’s still time,” Victoria said.
Was there? Or was it too late. “I think our marriage may be beyond repair, Victoria.”
“Dad, Mom loves you. But she needs to know you love her back.”
“I do.”
“Then tell her. Show her.”
“She doesn’t even want to talk to me.”
“Try it.”
He nodded.
“And Dad, she needs a life of her own.”
“I realize that too. She’s spent years raising you girls and supporting my dreams. And none on her own.” He reached across and gripped her forearm. “I don’t want you to make the same mistake, Victoria. You only get one life, so be sure you do what you most want while you can. Don’t throw your life away being a man’s… anything, including wife—I’m not saying get married.”
“I’m not planning to,” she said. “Don’t worry.”
“I am worried. I love you, damn it. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
She lowered her fork and her eyes misted. “Eric won’t hurt me. But thank you for caring.”
“Of course I care. You’re my daughter. I know I’ve been busy. I’ve been preoccupied. But, Victoria, that’s just me. You know me. I’m not… very sensitive… to other people’s feelings, I suppose.” He paused, unsure how to continue.
“I know.” She locked her eyes with his. “I do know. And I love you, Papi. Just the way you are.”
Victor smiled. He actually felt like smiling. He’d gotten through to her. He didn’t know how. Except that Victoria had always known him best. And he hadn’t realized how dead he’d felt lately without the closeness they’d always shared. He nodded.
“Well, let’s eat,” he said.
“Let’s,” she said with a big smile, digging into her food.
Monday morning when Victoria got home from work, a real-estate sign flapped in the wind of the front yard, announcing to the world that the house was for sale. She paused to look at the sign, and instead of feeling a sense of completion, she felt as if another chapter of her life was coming to an end before she was ready.
She dropped her things in her bedroom and went in search of Eric. He sat on the back porch, bouncing a handball against the new wooden fencing. He appeared in deep thought.
“Hey,” she said. “What are you doing?”
He looked over his shoulder for a second, then threw the ball again. “Nothing.”
“The sign is finally up. Exciting, huh?”
“Just the next step in the process.” He caught the ball and threw it again.
Victoria leaned on the patio post. The sun had almost gone down and only a slight orange glow remained on the horizon. The breezed chilled her. “Think it’ll sell fast?”
“We’re going into Thanksgiving week, and usually December isn’t a good month for real-estate sales.” He held on to the ball this time. Squeezing it in his hand.
She moved forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you worried?”
“No.”
But he seemed worried, even though it wasn’t like him to stress. His easygoing, carefree personality could be considered one of his few faults. Not by her—she loved his personality—but by those who didn’t understand what a hard worker he truly was. “Good,” she said. “Because we’ve done a great job. Someone’s going to snatch this place up before we’re even ready for it. You’ll see.”
He stood abruptly, facing her, but not particularly looking at her. “Listen, I’m going to go for a drive.”
A bit stunned, she stepped back. “Where?”
“I just need some air.”
Air? He was sitting outside. “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” He leaned forward, dropped a quick kiss on her lips, and left.
Victoria wasn’t sure what to think about his strange behavior. Was it just that it was time to move on and he didn’t know how to let her down easy? Once the house sold he would leave, and maybe he felt guilty about that. Or was he just worried? Victoria stood outside long after he left, playing different scenarios in her mind, until she finally snapped out of it, deciding that it wasn’t doing her any good trying to guess what was going on in his mind. Instead she went inside and made some dinner. Then she went to bed—his bed. Alone.
Tonight was one of those nights Eric wanted to be alone. He drove to Hollywood Boulevard and stopped at a touristy burger joint with flashing pink and baby blue neon signs, loud music inside, and way too many people crammed into one place. He had a greasy bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a vanilla shake. He people-watched through the glass window as he ate, not really seeing anything but a blur of humanity.
When a house went up for sale, he always started to question everything. Had he spent too much? Had he taken too long on the project? Had he made the right choices? Always caused a little edginess inside him unti
l the house finally sold.
But it was more than that this time. As soon as the sign went up outside, he started to feel sick to his stomach. Something was wrong. But what? He knew he had taken too long on this remodel. Truth was, he didn’t want to finish. He was having too great a time with Victoria and being back in Burbank. The house should have been sold by October, but he’d dragged his feet and now he might be stuck with it until the new year.
Still, that wasn’t such a big deal. An extra house payment or two wouldn’t kill him. The real problem was that it was almost over. He and Victoria would need to start looking for a new place to live soon.
The plan had originally been that he’d go back to his mother’s house, and if he didn’t find a new property to buy he’d leave town and return to Austin, where real estate wasn’t as over-inflated. Victoria would get her own place. They’d shake hands one final time and agree to get together next time he was in town. But that was before. Shit. Way before.
He took out his wallet and laid a few dollars on the table and left, then walked down the street toward his truck. Who was he kidding? He’d expected—well, expected was too strong, maybe hoped—he’d hoped that when she moved into the house, they’d get sexually involved. Why the hell not? He was single, she was single. And he was attracted to her.
But he and Victoria had started something special that went beyond a sexy little romp he could walk away from. Now they were supposed to go their separate ways because it was time to sell the house? That was crazy. He had to talk to her, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe after Thanksgiving, they could have a chat about their future. He didn’t want to ruin the holiday by bringing all that up now. As he reached his truck he saw a little shop with scarfs and wallets and all sorts of fancy bags. He went inside and asked the woman to help him choose a nice purse. He’d rather buy her some lingerie, but this would do. And some flowers, he decided. He’d apologize for being a moody ass, tell her he needed some time to think about his business. He wouldn’t admit that it was because his life was one big question mark right now and he was fucking miserable.
When he got home, she was in his bed. He woke her up with a kiss.