The Erection Set

by Mickey Spillane

  “Beautifully,” I said.

  “There were incidents in New York, there were incidents here.... All checked with the police,” Lagen said. “The handiwork of an expert.”

  “How about that?”

  “Foresighted and clever,” he mused. “But there is more to come. I am waiting for the final kill.”

  “Then you pounce?”

  “With gusto,” Lagen told me.

  “Who does the killing?”

  “They who are waiting for all those millions of dollars in a heroin shipment that you have, er ... pirated?”

  “You’re off your rocker, columnist.”

  “Any rebuttal, Mr. Kelly?”

  I finished the cigarette, wound the window down again and tossed the butt outside. The cop and his chauffeur looked back a second, then resumed their conversation.

  “No rebuttal,” I said. “I just want to hear your tag line.”

  Lagen smiled, a small enigmatic smile, looked at Sharon, then back to me and said, “Somehow she’s a catalytic agent. When you’re spoiled, I want to see you soured completely.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  “I may.”

  “What, for me to be killed?”

  “Exactly. I know other things too.”

  “And you don’t want me forewarned, therefore fore-armed?”

  “Naturally not.”

  “Spoken like a good reporter,” I said. “Anything for a story.”

  “Do you blame me?”

  I gave him another terrible smile and watched him draw up inside himself. I opened the door, got out and opened the door for Sharon. She grabbed her folder, snaked out into the rain and got behind me while I looked inside the big, black Cadillac and let him see all my teeth again.

  “Naturally not,” I said.

  We waited there until he waved his chauffeur back in and drove away, the rain slashing down at us, then Sharon took my hand, drew me off toward the barricade where the spectators were still waiting and stood there beside me without saying anything at all.

  Somebody blew a whistle. The extras came out from under the tent clutching their dinner buckets and paper bags. They all walked to the figure in the yellow slicker, got the directions, assembled themselves for the action shot, and when it came, walked toward the big gates of the Barrin Industries.

  Sharon said, “Was all that true?”

  I bobbed my head. “He even left the best parts out.”

  “You really are a criminal?”

  “Of sorts.”

  “But you killed people?”

  “Often, sugar.”

  “Yet after what you’ve started ... these people here ...”

  “None of them will get hurt, kitten.”

  “He said something worse was going to happen.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Dog ...”

  “Screw it, little blonde doll, I’ve lived my life. I tried to cut out and nobody will let me. So it’s over. Don’t let it rub off on you. I’ve outfoxed the cops on three continents and left my stupid little mark on society and there’s nobody left to cry for me so what the fuck do I care, understand? It’s almost over, but before that damn last chip goes on the table we’re going to leave a clean house behind us.”

  “Dog ... you said ... we are.”

  “The royal plural, sugar. Forget it”

  “I love you.”

  The way she said it hit me right in the pit of my stomach and every muscle in my body went tight. I looked down at her and saw the stillness in her face and knew what my father saw when he screwed my mother in that lonely room atop the building in Mondo Beach and for the first time I saw something else the rain had given me. It was in her face and the highlights came out beside the tiny smile and kaleidoscope images went past my mind without being recognized and I had to think hard to unwind enough to say,

  “Don’t, kid.”

  It was like the first time I had seen her, with Raul bending over her giving the big pitch and she read him off so beautifully. She threw the rain away from her face and smiled. “I’m only a two-way woman, Dog, I’ve known men, I’ve gone down on them, I’ve had it backward, I’ve experimented in women ... but I’m still a virgin. Isn’t that terrible?”

  “Get lost.”

  “Unh-uh. I’ve been waiting.”

  “Then wait for your guy. He may not be dead.”

  “I really don’t care anymore.”

  “Then you’d better start because something decent’s got to be left in this fucking world.”

  “Who’s going to kill you, Dog?”

  “Everybody,” I said.

  “Can I watch?”

  I had held my pack of cigarettes in my hand too long. They were soaked and I tossed them into the mud. She was smiling and I smiled back.

  “With pleasure,” I said.

  XXII

  The rain had stopped, but the storm took over and it was wild outside. What had been rain was a slashing downpour, angling against the world like the creations of men were its enemy, trying to wash it down the drain so the earth could start over without all the needless ruination and I agreed with nature and went back outside to do what I had to do.

  She met me in Tod’s and I knew everything had gotten all screwed up when I sat down and said, “Hello, Rose.”

  Instead of answering she looked into her coffee cup and fiddled with a lone pretzel beside the saucer. “What happened?”

  “You ask a lot,” she finally said.

  “I know. I pay for it, too.”

  There was no reason to push her. I let Tod bring me a beer, waited until he left and took the top off the glass, wiping the foam from my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “What happened?”

  Her eyes finally crawled up into mine. “They really your family?”

  “Only partly.”

  I reached out and grabbed her hand. “You hurt?”

  “No.”

  “Everything work?”

  “Oh, you got your pictures, if that’s what you wanted. I couldn’t believe people could be like that.”

  “What the hell happened to you, Rose?”

  She sipped her coffee, took the cigarette I offered and let me light it for her. “You’re all Barrins, right?”

  I said Yes.

  “Buddy ...”

  “Keep talking.”

  “He’s a shit.”

  “I knew that a long time ago.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me what kind of a shit he was?”

  “I set up the escape route, kid.”

  “Thanks. Really thanks. I damn near didn’t make it.”

  “Apparently you did though.” I sat back and grinned at her.

  “Dammit, stop that smiling, Dog. Just because I’m a total professional whore doesn’t mean you have to smile at me like that.”

  “It’s because I like you, kiddo.”

  “Go ball yourself.”

  “Not right now.”

  When she looked up there were tears in her eyes and they weren’t new at all. “Lee’s going to hate me,” she said.

  “Your fault.”

  “Dog ... I’m not as tough as you.”

  “But you’re as soft,” I said.

  “What good does that do?”

  “Remember ... I told you to marry my buddy ... he needs somebody like you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do it.”

  “Will he have me?”

  “You must be out of your cotton-picking skull. He needs you.”

  “But he doesn’t need you anymore, does he?”

  “The sky is empty, Rose. It’s all over. Believe?”

  “I believe.” She put the cup down and tried hard to smile until it finally worked. “You’ll really let us alone?”

  “I will.”

  “The bastard tried to kill me,” she said. “I went all the way with the bum and then he wanted to kill me. He never got screwed like what I gave him and then some more plus, but
he got wound up so damn tight over something he was going to wipe me out. You know, Dog, I’m a big broad and I’ve been against these types before, but this guy is homicidal. If you hadn’t set everything up, I would have been over the terrace and a lump on the concrete.”

  “You’re here now.”

  “I should say ‘no thanks to you’ ... but it happened.”

  “Enjoy it?”

  “The slob couldn’t even get a normal erection.”

  “Help him?”

  “All I could for the photos.”

  “Good.”

  “By the way ... not like I never had pictures taken of me before, but what do you do with the negatives?”

  “You can have them.”

  “I couldn’t care less. Lee knows me.”

  “Then let’s not leave any residue behind.”

  “I told him, Dog.”

  “What did he say?”

  She smiled and opened her hands in a gesture of bewilderment. “They shot down the Red Baron too, that’s what he said.”

  “He’s been reading too many Peanuts cartoons,” I told her.

  “Is it over now?”

  I nodded. “For you, yes. All over.”

  “Elliot has the films ready. I hope they help.” She picked up her cup and sipped the last of her coffee. “I understand you’re big D now.”

  “Big D?”

  “Dead.”

  “How true,” I told her.

  “Somebody’s being suckered in,” Rose said. “Aren’t they?”

  “All the way, baby,” I told her.

  Sharon gave me a punch in the gut, hurt her hand and I kissed her knuckles for her. If she had hit me an inch higher it would have been a laugh, but she contacted the buckle of the gun belt and wiped the skin off her fingers in a fruitless gesture that made me smile at the femaleness inside her. “You’re a dirty bastard,” she said.

  “Why does everybody call me that unless it’s true?”

  “I wish I had a gun!”

  I gave her mine.

  She didn’t know how to hold it so she gave it back.

  “All you can do is watch, baby,” I said.

  “You big fucking pig you!”

  “Shut your mouth and kiss me.”

  She came at me like a tiger with a mouth so hot and wet, so damn demanding I had to grab her while we ate each other alive until it got so fierce we had to stand off and look at each other with that wild surprise in our eyes and I said, “Not like that, puss, not like that.”

  “Like that,” she smiled.

  The rain came down and slashed us apart again, but for a little bit we didn’t even realize it.

  Finally she licked the raindrops from her lips and crinkled her nose at me. “Things happen in strange ways, don’t they, Dog?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Why did you make me wait so long before you told me about yourself?”

  “I had things to do.”

  “There were times when I was pretty angry. I even told myself that maybe I’d be better off not having known you at all.”

  “Maybe you would at that.”

  “But then who would teach me all the things I have to learn yet?”

  “There can’t be that much left, puss.”

  She gave me a make-believe glare and almost threw another punch at me until she remembered her sore hand. “There’s one thing.”

  “Loss of virginity is a natural function,” I told her. “Nature provides the joy to soothe the pain and love to replace the regret of having lost the irretrievable.”

  “You don’t have to be so philosophic about it. You forgot the fun part.”

  “Just keep it in mind.”

  A sudden burst of lightning turned the dusky day a dull blue and we waited for the clap of thunder. It came, echoed off into the distance and she reached for my hand. “What can I do to help?”

  “Can you get to the personnel records of the movie company?”

  Sharon nodded. “Of course.”

  “Good. I want you to run a check on everybody who hired on. Forget anyone under ... say, seventy. Make a personal check of their social security cards and if any of them has a new-looking one, or one that looks like it might have been deliberately aged, note it down and check back with me. If they ask any questions, tell them it’s because of your company insurance policy.”

  “Any special name?”

  “This one won’t be using his own.”

  “Can you tell me why?”

  “No.”

  “Will this put you in any ... danger?”

  I shook my head. “It’ll be worse if I don’t locate him.”

  “All right. I’ll try, Dog.”

  “You’re a doll.”

  “I’m a virgin.”

  “Every broad is at one time or another. Don’t sweat it.”

  She smiled a pixie smile and flicked some rain at me, then walked away toward the main buildings. Under the large tent somebody blew a whistle and the break was over, the crew streaming back to their stations, heads lowered against the slant of the rain. I chose my time, mixed with three of them, circled the spectator barrier and walked to my car. I had to wait a couple of minutes before I could edge out into traffic, but that was good too. Anybody tailing me would be caught in a real logjam and I knew where to cut out. When I reached the street I was looking for I cut to the right, wheeled it down the deserted strip and kept my eye on the rearview mirror. I made two more turns before I was sure, then I relaxed. Nobody was tailing me this time.

  Elliot Embler handed me the envelope with the series of photos, took his money and thanked me for the cash bonus that topped it off. He had dismantled the equipment, put everything back in order and asked me about the negatives. I told him to hold on to them for ten days and, if I hadn’t picked them up by then, burn them.

  Fifteen minutes later I was at the Lodge and caught Leyland Hunter just before he was ready to leave for the city and gave him the extra set. When he finished looking them over carefully I said, “Your play now, Counselor. I believe the old man’s will has been satisfied.” He looked up at me with calculating eyes, but before he could speak I waved him off. “There were no stipulations concerning entrapment, buddy. Cousin Dennie walked square into this one on his own and if he wants, I can prod him a little to clear up a few other little unsolved mysteries people around here prefer to bury in the garbage pail of time.”

  “I doubt if that will be necessary, but I think it was all a sheer waste of energy. What have you gained?”

  “My ten grand, for one thing.”

  “In stock certificates. I needn’t tell you what their future values will be.”

  “How many times do I have to remind you that I’m an optimist?”

  “So were the ones who died trying to fly before the Wright Brothers found the secret.”

  “Just get the papers ready.”

  “When do you plan to, er, confront them? It isn’t really necessary, you know.”

  “Ah, but it is. And I want to go all the way with it. There’s still Cousin Alfred.”

  “I see.”

  “Saturday night, Counselor?”

  “Very well.”

  “You make the arrangements.”

  Hunter nodded, looked at me several seconds, then said, “Do you think you’ll have time to enjoy your triumph. Dog?”

  “I’ve lived this long,” I told him. “Survival’s a matter of being the fittest.”

  I took the old road out of town, deliberately circumnavigating the Barrin factory where the battery of Klieg lights set up for the night scenes glowed like a yellow umbrella over a normally darkened area. A generation ago it would have been a normal sight, the floods ringing the buildings making Barrin the bright heart of the city. Now it was almost like the last gasp of a dying fish.

  Twice, I cut my lights before making turns, taking no chances on being followed. I had trailed too many cars myself under blackout conditions, guiding myself by the taillights ahead, c
ompletely out of sight of the lead car, and I didn’t want it done to me. To double check I stopped twice too, waiting to see if anything went by me. Nothing did so I picked up the road leading out to Lucy Longstreet’s retreat, picking out the landmarks through the metronome clicks of the windshield wipers.

  When I reached it I eased into the driveway, cut the engine and went up and banged on the door. Nobody answered, so I waited a few seconds, knocked again and heard Lucy’s raucous voice holler for me to come on in.

  She was sitting by herself at a card table with a Scrabble game half finished, an empty coffee cup beside her, looking annoyed as hell. “Lose your partner?” I asked her.

  “Temporarily. It ain’t much fun playing alone, so sit down, Johnny.” She reached her leg out under the table and kicked the chair out for me, squinted at me impatiently and said, “Let me get this word down and you can play too.”

  There was something about her that wasn’t hanging right and when she picked four tiles out of the holder and laid them down it made a lousy job of Scrabble but a good piece of explanation. The word didn’t fit, but it was clear enough. It spelled out trap.

  And Lucy Longstreet had been around long enough to anticipate all the moves and when I was hurtling off the chair she was sliding for the floor as feet pounded through the doorway behind me. I had the .45 out and blasted the overhead light out with the first shot before a foot took the rod out of hand and sent it skittering across the room. But the odds weren’t all that bad anymore. Anyone I touched was the enemy and they had to identify me personally. And the first one tripped over me into a ball of knuckles that put his teeth down his throat and left my fist slimy with blood. When he crashed into the wall I was rolling to the left, my arm sweeping out to yank the legs of another one out from under him. The gun in his hand blasted a swath of light into my face, hot, stinging powder etching a burn across my cheek. My hand grabbed the gun in his fingers, my other hand getting leverage on his elbow and I broke his wrist with a single twist and smashed the scream out of his throat when I backhanded the iron across his skull.

  There just wasn’t enough time. I saw the shadow looming above me and spotted the movement, so long-conditioned reflexes jerked my head aside and let padded metal ricochet off my temple in a blinding wave of pain and lights. I tried to move, but nothing worked at all and I knew that it was all over because the flickering glow of a cigarette lighter snapped on and there was enough peripheral vision left to see the outline of an automatic in it.