Fireworks to Thailand

by J. R. Bonham

  “Yes, of course you have, but I’ve said I will go back now. I have a duty to go through with what I’ve promised to do. They wouldn’t leave until I agreed to go back. I’m so sorry. Maybe we could make a go of it at some stage later. Please wait for me.”

  She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to wait for her. Why would he, after she said she was leaving? After such a short time. They hadn’t had a chance to make a proper go of it.

  Mike was distraught and starting crying. He cried and cried and Jan tried to comfort him. ‘What is it with these men crying? Do I really make them that unhappy?’ she thought to herself. It was making her feel unwell.

  She had been feeling lethargic for some weeks and now she was developing a sore throat. She thought she had better go to the doctor and rang for an appointment.

  “Stress does funny things to you,” explained the doctor when she saw him and told him of her situation. “I shall take a blood test. You have every symptom of glandular fever. You have swollen glands although you might not have noticed.”

  “Oh! How long will it take to get over, if that’s what I’ve got?”

  “Well, it could take some weeks to get over it,” he replied.

  The blood test confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis and Jan went gradually downhill. She could hardly walk from one side of the room to the other and Mike was worried about her.

  He met a woman in the car park who had just moved into one of the cottages. Joan was much older than him and had recently been widowed. She had downsized to a cottage on the end of the terrace. She wasn’t from around that area so didn’t know anyone and was glad to meet a friendly face.

  Mike wanted someone to look out for Jan while he had to go to work, so he approached Joan on the subject.

  “How lovely to meet you. We don’t know anyone around here either,” he proceeded to tell her the circumstances of their being there. With their marriage breakups and with Jan’s illness, and also with her inevitable forced return to Devon. Joan could see that he was desperate for someone to talk to.

  “No wonder she’s stressed! I’ll look in on her occasionally. Don’t worry. It would be my pleasure. And I can do shopping and anything else if that would help.”

  “All that would help tremendously and I can go to work and not worry so much if I know she’s in good hands. Thank you so much.”

  He took Joan in and introduced her to Jan who was pleased to be able to meet a neighbour. One who could help out too. Jan was embarrassed that she could hardly stand up to shake Joan’s hand.

  “No, don’t get up dear,” she said to Jan kindly. “Mike has explained your predicament and filled me in on your incredible story. It’s a pleasure to meet you and I shall help all I can.”

  “Thank you so much,” Jan said to Joan and Mike took his leave and went off to work.

  Jan and Joan talked for what seemed like hours. Joan was happy to have some company and would do whatever was necessary to make Jan’s life easier at the present time while she was ill.

  Three weeks later Jan packed her bags and went home.

  Chapter 41

  It was not a happy homecoming. No flags out. They knew the day she would arrive back but it was just as if she had been out to the shops. Hamish wagged his tail; he was happy to see her and she was glad to see him too. Everything appeared back to normal, except it was anything but normal.

  Betty had gone home. Louise was spending as much time at Dean’s as she could. She often stayed over at his home, talking over wedding arrangements with his mum. Steven was spending less time at home so he could be with his beloved Sheryl, although he spent every night at home. Sheryl’s parents were old fashioned and didn’t believe in living together before marriage.

  That left Geoff. And Jan. Alone. Together again.

  He wanted so much for it to be like it was before, the better times at least. He had promised his children that he would not be so moody around Jan and he would let her do things she wanted and not be so controlling. It was hard for him. It was difficult too for him to forgive her for being unfaithful to him. He was just going to have to force himself to get past it.

  “Do you like the new colours in the sitting room and our bedroom?” he enquired, desperate for approval. “I did it all by myself.”

  “Yes, I like it very much. It’s very… pink! So you can decorate! Easy isn’t it?”

  “Well, not so easy for me because I’ve never done it before.”

  “We all have to start somewhere.”

  All conversations were very stilted and Jan felt most uncomfortable. However, she did try and settle in as best she could. Her having left was not even mentioned. She put all her clothes back in the same wardrobe from which she had taken them before she left.

  To her surprise, her sister, Clare, had sent her a book. It was called ‘A Woman in your Own Right: Assertiveness and You’. Geoff noticed Jan was reading a lot more than she used to and took an interest in the book until he saw the title on the front cover.

  “I suppose that’s a way of becoming bossy is it?” That was like a red rag to a bull for Jan but she composed herself before answering.

  “Assertiveness is not being bossy, it’s totally the opposite. It’s just standing up for yourself when others are being bossy around you!” ‘Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!’

  “By that, I suppose you mean me?”

  “Did I say that?”

  Jan could feel an argument coming on which she wanted to avoid at all costs so she changed the subject. She had memories of her parents bickering all the time and she had always tried very hard not to emulate them.

  “How are Louise’s arrangements for the wedding coming along?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her.”

  “And Steven. How’s he getting along with Sheryl? D’you think they’ll ever get married?”

  “Probably. Eventually. They don’t get married so young these days, do they? They seem to hang on, probably to see if there’s anything better coming along. Then the woman realises her body clock is ticking away and gets married just to have babies. Some don’t even bother to get married these days, do they?”

  She nodded in agreement. “No. Look at Clare and Jamie. They’re very happy as they are, not married.”

  Steven came home later that same day. Jan hadn’t seen him or Louise since their early morning visit to Surbiton all those weeks before.

  “Hi Mum,” he said lightly and happily as he put his head around the door to check if his mother had, in fact, made it home. “Do you like the new paint in the sitting room and your bedroom? I asked Dad if he would do my bedroom, but he told me to do it myself.”

  “Yes, it’s very nice.” Jan was very happy to see him.

  “Louise is coming home later tonight,” Steven told his parents.

  “That’ll be good to see her. Do you know if she has a date fixed for her wedding?” Jan asked.

  “I’ve no idea, you’ll have to ask her. Probably next year, some time,” Steven replied.

  Louise came home later and was full of wedding plans – and a date.

  “Next May,” she informed them after being asked what date. “The 10th hopefully. That’s the provisional date until we hear back from the church and also the hall for the reception.”

  Jan smiled, very happy for her daughter.

  Next morning Geoff rose really early and went outside while Jan dozed. He came rushing in an hour later.

  “I’ve washed the windows. There! You don’t need to leave now, do you?”

  “What? No, I don’t suppose I do,” she humoured him. ‘What’s that all about?’

  Louise and Steven had told her that Geoff had been behaving oddly occasionally, and she thought this might be one of the things they meant, normal one minute and off the rails in another. Jan reckoned that he had been on the ver
ge of a nervous breakdown, but didn’t like to voice her opinion in case she was wrong. She kept an eye on him instead.

  “What’s that ring you’re wearing?” Louise noticed the ring on Jan’s finger. The small gold and ruby ring in the shape of a heart. The one that Mike had bought her in Thailand.

  “It came from Thailand,” replied Jan as she looked at it lovingly.

  “You’re not wearing that around here!” exclaimed Steven, and within seconds he grabbed her hand and proceeded to pull it off her finger. Jan protested but in no time it was off. She thought that he would take it or throw it away, but he gave it back to her for which she was much relieved. “Don’t wear it again or I’ll take it off again,” he threatened.

  Geoff was surprised to see this outburst of anger from his son. He agreed with what he did. In fact, he would have done it himself had he noticed the ring himself. Louise was the observant one and Geoff was grateful to her for noticing it in the first place. Get our priorities right. Make sure she knows who’s boss.

  Nothing was said about Jan’s leaving, or indeed her return to the fold. It was just swept under the carpet.

  “Do you want to come with me to see Mum?” Geoff asked Jan on the weekend.

  “I suppose I’ve got to face her some time,” she replied. “It might just as well be now; get it over with!” They went to see his mother without Louise and Steven. She seemed pleased to see Jan, but also said nothing about her disappearance. She thought it best and Jan was relieved.

  Weeks went by with everyone treading on eggshells. Jan didn’t contact Mike and wondered how he was getting on.

  Geoff returned to work and Jan went to the Job Centre to see what there was available. Because it was early summer, there were only hotel-type jobs: chambermaid, dining and kitchen staff required. Or jobs in the shops, which she hated; the shops which sold grot to the grockles. Nothing she was used to or wanted. No office jobs at all, but she thought that she would keep trying.

  Jan wanted Geoff to take up a sport of some sort. Something to keep him occupied. “What about tennis or golf?” she suggested. “We used to play badminton. We could go back to playing that if you like?”

  “Well, Steven suggested something the other day. He’d like to take up shooting. Target practice, something like that. I think I’d like to do that with him.”

  “Great. That’s a good idea. Have you found somewhere that teaches it?”

  “Steven’s looking into it. I’ll tell him that I’ll go with him too,” Geoff replied.

  Jan went to play tennis with her friends, just like she used to. They were very pleased to see her back, but all were puzzled as to what went wrong. Why was she home so soon?

  “Geoff was ill. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, I reckon. I thought it was my duty to come back to look after him. The kids were desperate.”

  “That’s crazy!” voiced Margaret. “Are you sure it wasn’t because the new relationship broke down?”

  “That part couldn’t have been better. So, are you surprised I’ve come back?” she enquired of all her friends.

  “I think you’re mad!” said Karen. “Bonkers in fact. Why would you put yourself through all you did just to come back again? And so soon.”

  “Like I said I felt it was my duty. I felt bad. Guilty in fact. And I haven’t been well myself. I’ve had glandular fever because of all the stress. And of course it’s all been self-inflicted. All my own fault.”

  “You shouldn’t feel bad. You got away, escaped. And now you’re back! For what?” enquired Sally, another of Jan’s tennis friends. She continued, “What is it you want? To be with Geoff or to be with Mike?”

  “With Mike of course.”

  “Then do it!” they all chorused.

  “Well,” Jan began. “It’s not quite as easy as that. And you know I’m a Libran, can’t always make up my mind. Geoff thinks I’m back for good and I haven’t told him otherwise. But I have thought to myself that if Mike is waiting for me to go back, then I shouldn’t keep him hanging on for too long. That’s just not fair on him.”

  Jan went straight home after tennis and rang Mike at work. She couldn’t wait any longer.

  “Hello,” she tried tentatively, not sure of what reaction she was going to get. “Jan here.”

  “Oh darling, I’ve been hoping you would ring. In fact, I got up this morning and had a premonition that I would be speaking to you soon. You’ve made my day!”

  “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Me too.”

  “Did you go home to Rosemary? What sort of reception did you get?”

  “That’s a long story. I did go home, yes. But not for long. She couldn’t get over being second-best. We had a row and she ended up throwing a cup of water over me! So I came back to our cottage as there are a few months left on the tenancy. And it’s much more convenient for work. What sort of reception did you get when you got back?”

  “They haven’t mentioned it! Nothing’s been said. Apart, that is, from Steven ripping the ring you gave me off my finger!”

  “Oh no! Hope your finger is still there!”

  “Yes, it is. Just!” she giggled. “Geoff was very bad when I first came back, but he’s calmed down now and gone back to work. The kids just seem to ignore me. And mother-in-law too. I can tell she’s seething inside, but on the surface, she smiles at me but I know it’s not genuine. There’s an atmosphere that I can’t put my finger on. Everyone’s treading on eggshells in case they say the wrong thing. The ring incident has been the only outburst really.”

  “Oh, you poor thing. I wish I was there to kiss it better.”

  “Me too.”

  “At least I’m on my own, so there’s no atmosphere. Just me. On my own. Waiting for you.”

  “No pressure then! I don’t know if I can do it all over again. Leaving I mean. I know I can’t just sit down with them and tell them.”

  “You’ll just have to do what you did before. Steel yourself. I’ve been looking at flats by the way. Once the tenancy at the cottage expires I shall have nowhere to go. I can’t go home to Rosemary, that’s for sure. She doesn’t want me and I don’t blame her.”

  “Well, I want you.”

  “That’s good to hear. I’ll go ahead with finalising the flat I’ve seen and arrange the mortgage. I do hope you like it. It’s not very big, but at least it’ll be ours. No more rent to shell out for. It’s on the ground floor of a block not far from the cottage, only two years old so quite modern. Two bedrooms, large sitting room, kitchen and bathroom. And a garage. The parking is at a premium in the road – not too bad in the daytime when people are at work but quite busy in the evenings. Oh yes, and it’s empty, the people have moved out already.”

  “That sounds perfect. I can’t wait!”

  “Me too,” he confirmed.

  Chapter 42

  Jan noticed that her passport was missing from where she had put it. She was sure she had placed it in an old handbag at the top of her wardrobe. Where could it be, she wondered? She let it go for now but would search for it later. She wondered if it might turn up in the fridge in the garage, just like Mike’s had! She went to check, but it wasn’t there.

  Mike didn’t put her under any pressure for the timescale of when she would return to him. For that, she was eternally grateful. As long as he knew she would go back to him, he was happy.

  She had ideas that she would give it six months but then that would take it to near Christmas. She couldn’t leave then. Before the winter then. Say September. Just before her birthday in October. She would much rather spend her birthday with Mike than with Geoff.

  One stumbling block was going to be Jan and Geoff’s 25th wedding anniversary in August. Maybe they could gloss over it, certainly not make anything of a celebration.

  She went through the motions of family life again. Louise was at work in the day, and
at weekends she went to stay with Dean. Geoff and Steven went off to their target shooting practice and Steven was even thinking of buying a gun. Jan was not pleased to hear this news.

  “They’re taking shooting lessons,” Jan told Mike one day on the phone.

  “We’d better be careful then. We don’t want to be a target, do we?”

  “I should think not, no. D’you think they would come gunning for us? That’s a bit dramatic isn’t it?”

  “You never know. If Geoff was mentally unstable only a few weeks ago, that could all return. And Steven has shown his violent side by ripping the ring off you.”

  “Oh dear.” She was alarmed at what Mike was saying, but it certainly made her think.

  “We won’t give them the address of the flat,” he said. “Not until we’re sure there’s no danger. Anyway, we won’t worry about that until the time comes. Is there a date we can work towards?”

  “I’d come now if I could, but I can’t. How about mid-September?” she suggested. ‘I’ve made a decision! Hurray!’

  “Fantastic. Once we have a day we can agree on, I will come down on the train and drive back with you to keep you company.”

  “That sounds great. D’you think you will have the flat by then?”

  “I should think so. I hope so anyway.”

  “That’s great! My passport isn’t where I left it!” Jan told Mike. “I’ve looked in the fridge in the garage but it isn’t there. I shall have to search the house but don’t know where to begin.”

  “When I looked for mine I systematically went through each room one by one. Through all drawers, under drawers, feeling in and around cupboards. I was very thorough but still didn’t find it, as you know. I’m glad you thought of looking in the fridge! What about the freezer? Don’t forget to look in there. I think that’s where I would put it if I was going to hide it.”

  “OK, thanks. I’ll let you know. Love you. Bye for now.”

  “Love you too, speak soon. Bye,” he concluded.