The Kingdom of Eternal Sorrow (The Golden Mage Book 1)

by C. G. Garcia

  Then there was the little matter of him trusting her. After what had happened with Alina, he didn’t know if he could ever fully trust a woman again. Pursuing that type of relationship at this point would be incredibly stupid. It was probably best to just put his attraction out of his mind and continue on acting the mentor only.

  Aidric left his study and headed for the sitting room where he found Allison standing near the front door as if she was afraid to enter the room any farther. She wore a dazed expression, her attention focused inward. At the sound of his approach, her eyes immediately darted over to him. She smiled, relief washing over her face, and she took a couple of steps away from the door.

  “I was afraid you weren’t here,” she said shyly.

  For a long moment, he said nothing as his eyes took in the stunning vision before him. Allison was no longer wearing the apprentice uniform he had given her. Instead, she was dressed in one of Ileanna’s most elegant gowns, obviously intended for the coming night’s celebration.

  The gown was a deep shade of green that matched her eyes perfectly. It was of the new style, its neckline cut lower and the bodice laced even more tightly in order to accentuate every curve. The hemline in the back, though still long, full, and modest as ever, hung slightly longer than the front until it nearly brushed the floor as she walked. The dress fit as though it had been made especially for her, yet she kept unconsciously smoothing out the material at her waist as if wearing the dress made her uncomfortable. Considering the type of clothing she had arrived in, he couldn’t imagine why.

  Aidric couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her beauty was so astounding that for a moment, he forgot that she had spoken. He couldn’t think. It was as if she had cast a submissive spell over him, and he no longer had a will of his own.

  “Aidric?”

  Her voice shook him out of his fool’s paradise, and with some difficulty, he managed to gather his wits again. Aidric offered her an apologetic smile at the questioning in her eyes as he cleared the distance between them and took her hand, lifting it up to his lips to greet her with a light kiss. He delighted at the blush that suddenly colored her checks, lighting up her entire face with a radiance that enhanced her beauty more than he thought was possible.

  “I see Ileanna has kept you very busy for the past few sand-marks,” Aidric said conversationally. “I trust you enjoyed her company?”

  “Oh, very much,” Allison replied. “She and her ladies filled me in on a lot of the customs of this world, but mostly on palace life and the life of the surrounding villages.” She sighed. “It’s—a lot to take in.”

  She suddenly looked worried, uncertain. As Aidric watched her, he had an impetuous desire to draw her into his arms.

  Aidric gave himself a mental kick in the backside. What are you thinking? She is to be your apprentice. Unless she shows any interest, then that is all she will be.

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “As I’ve told you before, no one will expect you to adjust to our ways so soon. Now, let us sit and talk for a moment. There’s so much I wish to know about your world, and I’m certain you still have many questions about Lamia and your duties as a mage that the queen could not answer. We still have several sand-marks before nightfall and the start of the festivities.”

  “Yes, I do have questions,” Allison said slowly. “I think maybe I’ll never stop having questions, but I’m sure you must have other, more important, things to attend to. I don’t want to keep you from them. I’m determined not to be any more of a burden to you than I already am. I can just sit in here and read some of your books. Don’t feel as if you have to spend every waking moment with me.”

  “I thought that ‘burden’ nonsense was settled,” Aidric said in mock consternation. When she merely adverted her eyes, he sighed and shook his head in frustration. “It really does please me that you are staying with me. Rattling around in this monstrous suite alone is not my idea of a good time, mind you. I have never had the pleasure of having a fulltime apprentice. You are my first simply because no other potential mage came even remotely close to the level of my abilities and could be taught by any other mage. The king thought my abilities would serve the kingdom better in military and diplomatic pursuits rather than instructing all the youngsters.”

  He shrugged. “However, over the past few years, I have occasionally taken up a ward. Both were young men who were about to be proclaimed a mage by the Horae that had shone extraordinary skill. I served as a kind of final mentor to them, polishing their techniques and learning their limits, yet they weren’t anything like a true apprentice. You will be the first I’ll instruct completely from start to finish.”

  “But your other duties—” Allison protested.

  “You are far more important than any other duty I might have, Allison,” he replied firmly. “Without the proper training, you could very well destroy the kingdom, and only I have the knowledge and ability to give someone has potentially powerful as you that training. But that’s not the only reason. Over the last few years, I have grown extremely weary of politics and have longed to go along another path. Your arrival here has finally given me the perfect excuse to do just that.”

  Aidric smiled down at her, but her eyes still reflected a great amount of uncertainty.

  “Okay,” Allison said hesitantly, “if you’re sure I won’t be taking up too much of your time, then I’m glad for the company. To be honest, I—don’t want to be alone right now.”

  She then abruptly pulled her hand out of his and sharply turned her back to him as though she was about to cry and didn’t want him to see her tears. Yet, when she spoke again, her voice was surprisingly steady.

  “I still don’t know what to make of all of this. It’s just so overwhelming, especially after everything Queen Ileanna has told me about this place. I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact this place exists much less everything else. It’s just so different, and—I guess I’m just afraid that I’ll never fit in…”

  Allison walked over to one of the windows and sighed as she gazed out into one of the indoor gardens.

  Aidric waited a couple of beats before following. He stopped directly behind her, uncertain of whether he should touch or even speak to her. Finally, against his better judgment, he placed a hesitant hand lightly onto her shoulder and then was surprised when instead of flinching away as he half-expected her to do, she reached up and covered his hand with her own. Her unexpected touch sent a pleasant shock through his body.

  He started to speak, but before he could utter a word, Allison’s shoulders tensed, and she said in a wavering voice, “A-Aidric—I don’t—it’s too much—I can’t—”

  “It’s all right,” Aidric crooned softly, wanting to take her into his arms to comfort her but making no move to do so. “You can tell me.”

  With a shaky sigh, she slowly turned to face him, her lovely face now stained with tears. Her eyes carried a very familiar haunted look. It made his heart ache. Seeing the despair in her eyes was like looking into a mirror. He stared down at her mutely, wanting to say something to ease her torment, but unable to find the right words.

  “I’m scared, Aidric!” Allison said bleakly, desperation creeping into her voice. “I feel it—all this power within me I don’t understand pushing hard against your shields, wanting to break out and cause all sorts of terrible things! I was terrified it would happen when I was with the queen! I just want it to stop, to wake up from this nightmare!”

  Allison then crumbled before him so quickly that Aidric nearly missed preventing her from falling to the ground. The moment he grabbed her, she immediately threw her arms around him, holding onto him tightly as though he was her anchor in the sea in which she was now drowning.

  This time he didn’t hesitate as he drew her closer to his body, enfolding her protectively in his arms as she trembled and began to sob quietly into his chest. He carded his fingers through her golden hair gently in an attempt to soothe her tears, bending his head to whisper word
s of reassurance into her ear.

  Aidric silently held her until her body stopped shivering and her sobbing ceased, bearing her weight as her body slumped against his in exhaustion, her breathing reduced to ragged gasps.

  Holding her so close to him, sharing a moment so intimate, left Aidric feeling conflicted. His emotions were in utter turmoil, partly because his Empathy was picking up Allison’s emotions and they were bleeding into his own.

  So much for his earlier determination to keep her at an arm’s length. Sharing such an intense, emotional moment made that virtually impossible now. He had never longed to make love to a woman more than he did at that moment.

  Seni help me, it has been so long, so damned long—

  He gazed down at her as he lovingly stroked her hair. Her eyes were closed tightly against the world, her lips still trembling with unreleased anguish. He could feel her arms still holding him tightly in their death grip, the feel of her warm breath on his chest. It was maddening!

  Aidric glanced longingly in the direction of his bedroom. He knew he merely had to lead her over to it, and she probably would not hesitate to follow.

  He didn’t move.

  Lamia’s Mage-general at his finest, he thought sarcastically. She would follow him yes, but not because it was what she truly desired. She was merely feeling incredibly vulnerable and as a result, longed for his companionship. Nothing more.

  Aidius, I’ve been far too lonely for far too long! he thought, disgusted with himself. Seni condemn me to the lowest hell of Ter-ob if I ever think anything so depraved again! I’ll not have her unless she comes to me out of love!

  A few beats later, Allison pulled away from him, still visibly shaken, but now her expression was more embarrassed than frightened. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

  “I-I’m s-sorry,” she stammered, her tear-stained eyes refusing to meet his gaze. “I’m not making a very good first impression, am I?”

  “Nonsense,” Aidric replied firmly. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of doing what any other would do in your situation. Allison—look at me.”

  Slowly, she raised her eyes to meet his. They stared at one another for a long, tense moment, almost as if they were trying to read down to each other’s soul. Whatever Aidric had meant to say was lost in the heat of that gaze.

  Finally, Allison blinked and smiled wryly as she wiped away all the stray tears from her eyes and said almost casually, “I’ve ruined your shirt.”

  Taken aback by her sudden shift in mood, Aidric looked down at his clothing dumbly and saw that his shirt was indeed ruined. The front of his shirt was soaked with Allison’s tears and heavily wrinkled beyond salvation where she had gripped him so tightly. Had anyone seen him in such a disheveled state off the battlefields, they would have been shocked.

  “So you have,” he agreed with amusement. “Strange your dress received no such damage. If I did not know better, I would think the queen had all of her wardrobe spell-protected. You don’t have even a single wrinkle.”

  “It’s a gift all women have, I suppose,” she said with a smile.

  Aidric laughed but then immediately sobered when he saw her face turn serious again.

  “Thank you,” she said softly.

  “Whatever for?”

  “For just being here,” Allison said, “for giving me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. I would have lost it a lot worse if I would have been alone, and who knows how many bad things I could’ve inadvertently caused with my mind so unstable.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Aidric said gruffly. “Do you wish to speak a bit more, or would you rather rest until tonight?”

  She paused, her eyes flickering towards the entryway to the hall before she shook her head. “Let’s talk.”

  He nodded and gently took her hand, leading her over to one of the couches. Allison sank into it in exhaustion, and Aidric seated himself beside her, consciously keeping about an arm-span’s distance between them as much for his sake as for hers. He was still unnerved by the emotions she had roused in him earlier, and her closeness was only tormenting him.

  “You said you could feel the power pushing against you mind?” Aidric prompted after a moment of silence when it was clear that she would not initiate the conversation.

  “Yes,” she replied with a shudder. “Even now I can feel it, a sort of tingling and pressure against my awareness—against my soul—or something. It’s hard to explain.”

  Aidric shook his head. “No, I understand. That feeling is the energy of the Mage-field fighting against the shielding I have placed between it and the channels within your mind. It is an energy that is naturally attracted to all mages that have ventured near. You don’t yet know how to control this great power, so instead, it roams freely. You must first Bond with the Mage-field before it will succumb to your will. Until then, it will attempt to control you. Unfortunately, my shields cannot prevent you from feeling the turmoil this wild magic is causing within you.”

  “But what if the magic breaks your shields?” Allison asked fearfully. “You said so yourself that this power broke the shields around you once before.”

  “Then I’ll be there to reset them,” he replied simply. “Until I teach you to control your abilities, I’ll not let you roam far from my sight, so you would do good to learn quickly unless you wish me to become your new shadow!”

  Instead of smiling, as he had hoped, she only appeared more worried. “What if I can’t learn how to control these abilities?” Allison asked anxiously. “I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that I have them, much less actually using them to do God-only-knows-what.” Her hands fisted tightly in her lap. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m just an ordinary college student, not a soldier. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would suddenly be capable of performing real magic, much less battle magic. It’s just too much, too soon for me to deal with right now.”

  “I could postpone your lessons until you feel that you are ready to embrace them…” Aidric offered.

  “No,” Allison said with a wry smile. “If you allowed me to do that, then my lessons would never start!” She sighed heavily. “There’s no use crying over what can’t be changed, is there? I’ve had my one allowed freak-out for the year, so I guess it’s time for me to pull myself together. I swear I don’t usually lose it like I just did. I guess—I guess I just needed it.”

  “Please, milady, don’t apologize,” Aidric said in exasperation. “You don’t need to justify anything to me or anyone.”

  “I just feel so, well—embarrassed,” she insisted, her cheeks coloring. “I used to scold my younger sister ‘til I was blue in the face when she would act just as I did. I don’t like to think that I’m suddenly turning into the world’s biggest hypocrite!”

  Pain entered her eyes when she spoke of her sister. It was obvious that they had been close.

  “You miss her,” he said gently.

  “More than I thought I could ever miss anyone,” Allison said, closing her eyes as her face scrunched up as though she was about to start crying again, but then she took a deep, steadying breath. “When I first left for California, I could practically feel the separation like it was a physical thing, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel right now. Knowing that I won’t ever see her again is just as bad as if someone had just told me she was dead. Knowing that she’s alive out there and I can never see her for the rest of my life seems crueler, somehow.”

  “What is her name?”

  “Katherine,” she answered simply, offering no further details.

  “And your parents?” Aidric prompted, deciding on a different approach. “What of them?”

  Allison shifted uncomfortably and lowered her gaze as she said, “I’d rather not talk about them if you don’t mind.”

  “Of course,” he said quickly even though he burned with curiosity, but now was definitely not the time to press. “Perhaps I shouldn’t ask this, either, but I would like to know what caused y
ou to lose your composure so thoroughly just now? I worry—though obviously afraid in the beginning, you seemed to be handling things just fine until that moment. Was it the presentation I forced you to attend? If so, then I wonder if having you attend tonight’s celebration is such a good idea…”

  “It wasn’t just the presentation,” she assured him, to his relief. He still felt guilty about forcing her into a situation that had obviously distressed her greatly, especially after everything she had already been through. “It was a lot of things—King Diryan’s explanation of the prophecy, that Circle member, Gaelle, suddenly wanting to poke around in my head, my terrifying experience in the portal that brought me here, but it was mostly everything that the queen and her ladies explained to me.”

  When Aidric frowned, Allison abruptly leaned towards him and placed a hand on his forearm. “No—don’t misunderstand me. I’m not putting any of the blame on Queen Ileanna. It was just that her words suddenly made me realize that all of this wasn’t a dream but my new, frightening reality because there was no way my own imagination could have come up with something so detailed and convoluted. My mind just couldn’t accept it.” She pulled her hand back and started to wring them anxiously in her lap. “I’m scared, confused, and there’s not much I can do to change that right now.”

  “I can’t imagine being transported to another realm as you have,” Aidric said gravely. “I don’t know how I would react if I did. This can’t be easy for you, Allison, but I’ll help you to adjust any way I know how.”

  She smiled slightly and said, “I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know. Speaking of, there’s this question I’ve been meaning to ask you. I feel as if it’s been daytime forever, or is it just my imagination? Even considering the circumstances, this day seems to have dragged on forever.” She nodded towards one of the windows. “It’s only now starting to grow dimmer, or since that one looks out into an indoor garden, is it only an illusion?”