by C. G. Garcia
Diryan paused, unsure if he should mention anything to her. Ileanna raised an eyebrow at his obvious hesitation but said nothing. That’s what he loved most about her. She knew with almost a Seer’s awareness when she should and should not press him. He was glad that she was willing to tell him where to stuff it even when in a rage if she felt it was necessary.
“I’m afraid that Aidric has become infatuated with her,” Diryan continued finally with a sigh, deciding that it was something his wife needed to know.
“I know,” she replied softly to his surprise. “Yet, is it really so surprising? She’s very beautiful, alone, and vulnerable. The only person she seems to trust is him. Isn’t it natural for him to develop some feelings for the child?”
“Some feelings, yes,” Diryan replied, “but what I have seen goes much deeper than a desire to protect, or even just plain interest in a lovely maiden. I have never known Aidric to give his heart so freely in so little time to anything, especially after that little incident with the last woman he took up with.”
“I would hardly call that bitch nearly destroying his life a ‘little’ incident,” Ileanna cut in heatedly.
Diryan chose to ignore that comment. The last thing he wanted to do was get into another discussion with his wife about the infamous Alina affair.
Instead of the retort he wanted to snap back at her, he said, “Aidric practically struck Zenas down every time he said a negative thing about the girl, and it’s that behavior that has me so worried.”
“Why?” Ileanna asked, clearly surprised.
“Because his involvement with a mage with the potential power the girl has could be disastrous for all of us. No—hear me out, my dear. If indeed they become romantically involved and any of our enemies learned of the pairing, they could very well use that information to their advantage. I don’t need to remind you how Roderick has used such information in the past.
“Everyone, including our enemies, knows how vulnerable Aidric is with matters of the heart thanks to that damned bard, Patrym, and his accursed song. If something was to happen to the girl—after all, we cannot keep her confined within the palace forever—Aidric would probably never recover. He’s had too much heartache in the past to survive another large blow. Without Aidric, our magical defenses would suffer greatly, and Roderick would stand a better chance of laying siege over Kemos and Na’ar, thus forcing me to make a decision I much rather not contemplate making.”
“My beloved, I’m sure it wouldn’t ever come to that,” Ileanna said. “Do we dare deny Aidric any happiness—or Allison? Look at all the happiness we have found together when many thought our marriage would only bring disaster.”
Diryan remembered only too well how much his father had tormented him because he was in love with and wanted to wed a woman of low birth. Among monarchs, that simply was not done—at least Diryan’s father insisted that it was not. In the end, Diryan eventually won over his father and his father’s councilors when he pointed out that several monarchs in the past had indeed taken a woman of low birth as their queen and as a result, completely won the favor of all the peasants. During his grandfather’s reign, there had been many peasant revolts, one of which almost succeeded in removing his grandfather from the throne.
And of his life, he thought gravely.
Diryan’s father had been thirteen when that particular revolt occurred, so he knew only too well that if he would not allow his son to marry Ileanna, the people would be outraged and probably revolt again. However, he was insistent on the fact that Diryan was making a terrible mistake, and she would only bring him grief. Sure, there had been grief, so much that Diryan had toyed with the notion that his father had cursed him, but there was also much happiness. In the end, the happiness of their partnership greatly outweighed all the heartache.
“That’s all well and good, but what if she doesn’t wish to have the lad’s attentions?” Diryan asked with a worried frown.
Ileanna regarded him with a peculiar smile, causing him to look at her suspiciously. When it became apparent that she was not going to enlighten him without some prodding, he demanded, “All right woman, out with it.”
“With what?” she asked innocently, her face in a mask of complete puzzlement.
“By Aidius, if you were not my wife and love, I would seriously consider thrashing you!” he grumbled irritably.
She laughed good-naturedly and wrapped her arms snugly around his neck. “My dear,” she said warmly, “you are taking the situation much too seriously. Aidric is an adult and perfectly capable of making intelligent decisions on his own. Bright Thrones above, you act as if he is still in swaddling clothes!”
“However, in matters of the heart, he is as foolish as a lovesick minstrel!” Diryan insisted.
“Come now, Diryan, give the lad more credit than that! After his last disastrous tryst, he has taken to guarding his heart more closely. Besides, I happen to know the girl, Allison, feels the same towards Aidric as he does her.”
“She has confided this to you?” Diryan asked in disbelief. “By the Thrones above, you clever woman, if I had known you could extract information such as that so efficiently and quickly, then I would have had you assigned to interrogate prisoners the moment you became my queen!”
“No thank you,” she replied dryly. “I would much rather keep my distance from that nasty lot. Besides, Allison didn’t actually confide this to me. It was my own observation of her behavior and words when Aidric was mentioned that led me to conclude this.”
“Perhaps you could have been mistaken?” Diryan said skeptically.
Ileanna laughed dryly and said, “Hardly, my dear husband. Even though I believe she doesn’t realize it yet, there’s no doubt in my mind that she is falling in love with her gallant protector.”
Diryan looked amusedly at Ileanna’s determined expression, smiled indulgently, and drew her to him for a tender kiss. “Women,” he breathed into her ear, “always thinking they know all when it comes to love.”
“Oh, but don’t we?” she replied slyly as she began to caress his cheek seductively in invitation.
Diryan laughed and said, “Keep this up, my beloved, and I’ll not accomplish anything else today!”
“Duty, duty,” she sighed in mock disappointment. “Were we but simple peasants—”
“At times such as these, I sometimes wish I had been born a regular man,” Diryan replied wistfully, “but then, perhaps you would not have been interested in me—seeing as how I would be just a peasant and not a king!”
“You beast!” Ileanna exclaimed, feigning insult.
Diryan smiled wickedly at her and said, “Tonight is a night for celebration. Shall I make it up to you by having our own little ‘celebration’ here tonight?”
Ileanna blushed as deeply as any young court girl and replied, “In that case, milord, I’ll forgive you your remark. Go now and attend to your business, and I’ll attend to mine. I must admit that I have much to do before tonight’s celebration, but before you go, I want you to promise me one thing, Diryan.”
“I’m yours to command, milady.”
“Diryan, I’m serious!” she exclaimed in exasperation. “You must give me your solemn oath that you will do nothing to come between Aidric and Allison should a romance suddenly blossom between them.”
“You know I cannot possibly promise you that,” Diryan replied unhappily. “You know as well as I that my kingdom must always come before anything else. If I deem it best to forbid them from pairing, then it will be because the wellbeing of the entire kingdom depends on it, but I’ll promise you this, Ileanna. For the time being, I’ll let the matter be. Whether I intervene or not depends upon how Roderick will react to our newest citizen.”
Ileanna still looked unhappy, but she nodded reluctantly and said, “Good enough, I suppose, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“I know, my dear,” Diryan crooned softly as he rose and took her into his arms in an affectionate embrace. With Ileanna i
n his arms, his burdens never seemed quite so heavy. “I don’t like it either. The Thrones know we have all had more than our fair share of heartaches around here, but Aidric knew he would have to make some sacrifices when he made his vows to the Horae. We can only wait and see what comes of all of this and hope that my interference will not be necessary.”
As he held Ileanna tightly in his arms, he thought, troubled, …and hope that Aidric will not hate me to his last dying breath if the time does come for me to interfere.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
A slight fluttering sensation in her mind roused Allison from her fitful sleep. She groaned sleepily, her senses momentarily confused. What an odd and horrible dream, she thought as she struggled to awaken her foggy mind. For a minute there, it seemed so real.
As her mind began to clear, she suddenly felt something soft, but with an uneven surface, beneath her body. Her eyes flew open, and she groaned despairingly when she saw that she was not in her room in her California apartment but in the room the Mage-general of Lamia had given her. She felt her eyes tighten with threatening tears.
So it wasn’t a dream, Allison thought miserably as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, willing the world away with everything in her.
As if to confirm her thoughts, she suddenly heard Aidric’s cheerful voice say in her mind, “Wake up, sleepy.”
“I am awake,” she sent back with her mind crossly. Unfortunately.
“You sleep as soundly as a cat,” he teased. “I touched your mind several times before you even stirred.”
“So Lamia has cats,” she thought bemusedly, before realizing she had probably sent that thought to him.
“Pardon?”
“Never mind,” she said. “It was a thought I didn’t mean to send. I suppose you woke me up because it’s almost time for the celebration?”
“Yes, but I had hoped you would be in better spirits about attending after you had rested a bit.” She could almost see his disappointment in the thought.
“I’m sorry Aidric, but it’s hard for me to be enthused about going. I’ve never liked going to that sort of thing. Large crowds just make me nervous for a variety of reasons, but don’t worry. I’m not backing out. I promised you I would go, and I will.”
“Then if you are to be ready in time, I should let you be,” he sent cheerfully. “I’ll be eagerly awaiting your presence in the sitting room.”
I wish I could just lie here in this bed for the rest of my life, Allison thought wistfully as she forced her reluctant body to rise from the warmth and comfort of the mass of blankets and feathers. She grabbed a robe-like garment from a nearby chair and wrapped it securely around her body.
God, I don’t know if I’m ready to face this celebration thing right now! She blanched as she thought of the enormous amount of people she would have to face in an hour or so. Every one of them would no doubt be scrutinizing her the whole time, all those strange eyes boring into her, searching, weighing—
I can’t do it! Allison thought frantically, feeling the panic start to possess her body before she could stop it. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe, feeling as if an invisible hand was slowly squeezing the air from her lungs while fear gripped fiercely at her heart.
Panic attack, she thought through the fear. Not again—I can’t let it happen again! Dammit! Just one slow breath at a time—
However, the more calmly she tried to draw a breath, the more it seemed her throat constricted on her windpipe. With a strangled gasp, she collapsed onto her knees, her hands frantically clawing at her throat as she tried to coax a breath into her aching lungs.
The room began to darken and spin despite her futile efforts to breathe, and in a last attempt to save herself from unconsciousness, she mind-called Aidric, all her fear and panic laced into his name as she fell over onto her face, too weak to even attempt to draw another strangled breath.
Before the darkness could fully claim her mind, she distantly heard the door fling open, and a second later, a hand gently touched her forehead. A wave of peaceful warmth washed through her body, and before she knew what was happening, she was on her back and noisily drawing in huge breaths. As Allison began to cough fitfully, she felt herself carefully lifted from the cold floor and enveloped into a pair of strong, protecting arms.
“It’s all right,” she heard a male voice say soothingly into the chaos of her mind. “I’m here, and everything is going to be all right.”
It took a few moments of confusion before she realized that it was Aidric’s voice that had spoken in her mind and the arms that now held her belonged to him. Then with horror, Allison realized what had happened and that Aidric had seen her once again at her lowest. She tried to pull away, humiliated to the point of tears, but it only caused him to hold her more tightly.
“I think not,” Aidric said softly. “You are not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of what just happened here.”
“I—” Allison started to say before she lost what little ounce of dignity she had left and burst into tears, burying her face into the now familiar silkiness of his shirt. He said nothing, not even little words of reassurance as he had before. He just merely held her, sensing perhaps that she needed his closeness more than his words.
“Why does this always happen to me?” she whispered miserably through her tears. “Why can’t I just get over it?”
“‘Get over it’?” he repeated questioningly, causing her to raise her head that suddenly felt two sizes too large and stare up into his pale-violet eyes, her tears momentarily forgotten.
Allison was a bit taken aback. She had only been babbling.
“I—never mind,” she said shakily.
“Allison—” Aidric said firmly, staring down into her eyes so intently that she had to look away.
Although the fingers that grasped her chin were gentle, the pressure was firm as he turned her chin towards him until she was forced to look into those penetrating eyes again. When Allison tried to avert her eyes a second time, Aidric shook his head and demanded, “Allison, look at me.”
Feeling overwhelmed and at the verge of tears again, she reluctantly obeyed. As he gazed into her eyes, Allison suddenly realized what he was doing. She could vaguely feel his presence in her mind, like a faint whisper in the back of an enormous cathedral.
In a panic, she shoved at the alien presence in her head in an attempt to expel him. To her immense relief, all traces of the presence left her mind. Aidric blinked at her questioningly, clearly surprised that she had flung him from her mind.
Allison expected him to be angry, but he just sighed and asked in a neutral tone, “Why did you do that?”
She tried to pull away, but his arms were like steel bands. “I can’t let you know…”
“Know what?”
“Please,” she pleaded weakly, feeling the tears suddenly start to leak from her eyes again, “don’t ask this of me. Just—promise me you won’t ever try to read my mind again unless I say it’s okay.”
Something akin to hurt flashed briefly in his eyes, but it had come and gone so quickly that she wasn’t entirely sure she had seen it in the first place. “The anxiety attack you just suffered was severe enough that it nearly caused you to lose consciousness. I was only trying to find an answer.” Aidric said quietly, his eyes now unreadable. “I’m sorry. You will have my promise, of course.”
Allison’s heart clenched. Yes, she had definitely offended him. A fine way to repay his kindness.
“No—I’m sorry,” she said, lowering her eyes in shame. “I didn’t mean—you just—surprised me. No, that’s no excuse. Here you are trying to help me, and I just shove it right back in your face. You must think I’m such an ungrateful bitch.”
“No, the fault is mine, alone,” Aidric said ruefully. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have probed your mind without your permission. I forgot that you aren’t accustomed to our ways. I’m somewhat of a calendae—a soul-healer—and one of the first things we are trained to do is probe the mind for
the source of mental turmoil. I didn’t think. I should have told you what I meant to do.”
Wishing she could just sink into the floor, Allison mumbled, “Don’t I feel stupid, now. I should’ve known you wouldn’t have done something like that without a good reason. It seems like lately all I’ve been doing is apologizing, crying on your shoulder, and ruining your shirts!”
Aidric smiled at her and said, “That you have, mil—Allison. I think a compromise is in order here. I’ll accept your apology if you will accept mine.”
“Deal,” Allison agreed as she tried to release herself from his embrace, but once again he held fast to her.
“Not so fast, little cat,” he said with a grin as she looked up at him with startled eyes. “You still haven’t told me why your anxiety affects you so severely. I’ll release you when you answer.”
“I told you that I didn’t want to talk about it. Not now,” she said, shifting uncomfortably.
Now that she was clearly thinking again, Allison felt the nearness and warmth of his body all too well. She gazed up into his face, and blushed when she suddenly felt a strong urge to kiss that sensuous mouth that was only mere inches away from her own.
My God, what the hell am I even thinking? she thought with horror. He’s only trying to comfort me. That’s all.
Abruptly, Allison began to wonder about the nervousness from the very beginning that he seemed to cause her to feel just from simply looking at her. Had it really been out of fear? Am I—falling for him? But—but—I can’t! He’s not—human—is he? She felt the blood filling her cheeks suddenly drain from her face as panic began setting in again. I can’t let him know! I can’t—
Instantly, she built a purely mental wall between her feelings and his. She knew only too well that he was capable of knowing her every emotion as well as her every thought.
It was no wonder she hadn’t recognized her feelings, a deeper attraction, for what they were earlier. She had been too busy freaking out about everything to figure out the turmoil of emotions that had swirled within her.