Seduced by Lies

by Stacey Quinn

  Raising the bottle to her beaming reflection, she turned back to her laptop.

  “I Love You too, Lewis. It feels so good to finally say it!...” Sienna hesitated for a moment, before adding as a cheeky afterthought - “Do you have a picture of yourself that you could send me? I’d like to know what the man I love looks like (so I know what to imagine when I’m touching myself). I’ll send one if you do.

  Sienna xxx”

  The vodka had combined with her overwhelming happiness to form a cocktail that went straight to Sienna’s head, which for some reason had suddenly made her overwhelmingly horny. She leaned back on her elbows on the bed, unbuttoning her skinny jeans and sliding one hand down into her pants - She figured she may as well get herself started while she waited for her lover to reply.

  Sam's elation quickly turned to dread that settled like cold sludge in the pit of his stomach as he read Sienna’s last message. He’d never expected her to ask for a picture - he hadn’t thought that far ahead. He tapped his fingers on his desk and ran them through his hair nervously, twitching his food agitatedly as he frantically searched for a solution.

  “Dumbass.” He mumbled, scolding himself for his lack of planning and forward thinking. After all - where was he supposed to get a believable photo of a good looking, middle aged English tutor?

  And that’s when it clicked - his father. While his father had been no George Clooney, he hadn’t been unattractive either (people had always said Sam took after his father in both looks and brains), and he would certainly be enough for a horny teenage girl to get her rocks off to. Sam shuffled through the piles of photos he had taken from the attic when he’d first made Lewis Stowell’s profile, and picked out a particularly nice, artistic close up of his father's face.

  Impatiently waiting for the picture to scan and upload, Sam tried his best not to think of the woman he loved touching herself to a picture of his absent father. What choice did he have? He was too far down this road, and had achieved too much to turn back now - it was just a little grievance that he would have to suffer while he consoled himself with the fact that, technically, Sienna had just told him she loved him. He smiled smugly to himself as he read over her loving, slightly dirty message, imagining the day when it would finally be more than kinky messages that they shared.

  Sienna, her hand still firmly down her trousers, was just getting in to it when she heard the little ‘bleep’ of a new message arriving in her inbox. She hastily removed her hand and quickly clicked on the picture attachment in the message, keen to increase her stimulation by finally seeing the face of her love. Her laptop whirred and purred and Sienna rapped her fingers impatiently while the picture slowly loaded. Nothing could have prepared her for what she then saw on her computer screen.

  The picture Lewis had sent her was beautifully composed and very well framed, but that wasn’t what caused Sienna’s breath to catch in her throat and her heart to drum a dis-jointed, quivering beat in her chest. Sienna gazed at the wild, chocolate brown hair, handsome five o'clock shadow and distinguished crow's feet of the man in the picture, her half drunk mind whirling and her eyes brimming with sudden tears.

  “Jack?” She whispered tearfully to her screen, longingly stroking the face in the picture, her fingers trembling with shock. “Is it really you?” Could the man she had recently fallen for really be the man she had loved all along? And if so, did he know it was Sienna - his Sienna that he had been talking to this whole time?

  As much as she hated to tear her gaze away from the picture, her heart demanded answers. Could she really have been talking to her beloved Jack for the past month without even realizing it? It wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility - After all, she had fallen for Lewis for all the same reasons she had fallen for Jack. But why would he hide himself from her?

  It took her nearly an entire ten minutes to compose her reply - her nervous, thrilled, shaking fingers kept hitting the wrong buttons, causing her to make spelling mistake after mistake. Finally, she hit send, her mind blank as it struggled to cope with all the raging emotions and questions that now flowed through it.

  “Jack?! Is that really you? Is this some kind of trick? Please, tell me it’s you, Jack.”

  Sam's mind reeled with confusion. How could Sienna possibly know his father? And why was she so eager for it to be him? No matter how little he understood the situation, Sam couldn’t ignore the desperation in Sienna’s message, and, just like always, he would not deny the woman he loved anything. Numb with confusion, his mind unable to comprehend the effect that it would have on the outcome of his plan, Sam automatically typed up a short reply -

  “Yes Sienna - it is me. It’s Jack.”

  He sent the message, praying he would receive a reply that would deliver some answers. Awash with confusion, his mind sent a million different tangents, Sam sat utterly still at his computer, trying to ride out this unexpected turn of events on the rollercoaster that was his and Sienna’s relationship.

  “What the hell is going on here?” He mumbled exasperatedly, closing his suddenly weary eyes and resting his head in his hands, where he stayed until, finally, a reply came through from Sienna.

  Her message was nearly an entire page long, and was made up of emotional, disjointed sentences that didn’t seem to flow or form any kind of sensible pattern. But it was enough for Sam to get the gist - to get the answers he’d been looking for, but not the ones he wanted to hear. As he got further and further into her message, Sam’s world, not for the first time, began falling and crumbling around him once more.

  While Sienna had meant for her message to be a touching, heartwarming reminder of nostalgic memories and hope for the future, to Sam it read as a series of confessions - like reading someone’s diary and discovering truths that make you promptly wish you’d never picked the damn book up. About halfway through the message his jumbled, confused thoughts all came together, clicking in to place and forcing him to face the truth, to discover what had been hidden from him for so long - Sienna, the woman he loved, was the very same mystery girl his father had had an affair with.

  Sam’s innards turned to lead, and an invisible fist punched him full force in the stomach, taking the breath from him and forcing him to run quickly to the bathroom, where he promptly and violently threw up several times. As he clung to the porcelain rim of the toilet, shaking, sweating and crying, he recalled the very last line of Sienna’s message -

  “I miss you every second of every day - I need to see you. Can you meet me tonight?

  All my love, forever and always.

  Your Sienna xxxxx”

  His entire life, emotions and thoughts in tatters around him, Sam knew he was in no state of mind to be making any kind of decisions. But for all that he thought or felt - even at this point, the lowest point of his life, he still could not deny his love for Sienna, even though in the back of his mind he knew it was partly thanks to her that his life had been ruined in the first place. But no, despite what she had done or whatever she may do in the future, he would always love her, would always forgive her, and would always do whatever she asked of him.

  And so he decided he would meet her that night, under the guise of being his father. He would reply to her message and drive wherever she asked him to go - that was as far as his plan went. Whatever happened from there on out would be in the hands of fate and of the Gods, but somehow Sam could feel in his gut that, whatever the outcome, it would all end tonight.

  CHAPTER 12 - THE END

  The sun was nearly set, casting soft pink light through the leaves of the trees and barely illuminating the clearing that Sienna sat in for the second time that day. She swayed back and forth on the fallen tree while she waited for her love, sure that at any moment she would throw up violently - mostly because of nerves, but the entire bottle of vodka that now swished around her otherwise empty stomach didn’t really help matters much either. A freshly opened bottle of red wine hung from her right hand - the vodka had been gone before she even left the
house, and so she had sneakily swiped the wine from the corner shop as she’d made her way into town, making sure that she had at least a little something to keep her buzz going - to stop herself (or at least try to stop) from crumbling into a complete emotional mess.

  It had been a good few hours since she had got Jacks message agreeing to meet her at this specific location, but Sienna still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was in a dream - she’d made the hasty journey here feeling detached from herself, as if her body and mind couldn’t handle the cacophony of emotions that stormed and raced around inside her, and so she floated above everything, watching it all happen as if she were watching a movie.

  She had no idea how long it would take Jack to get here, but she would wait all night if she had to, passing the time by recalling the feel of his skin against hers, their lips pressed together, the weight of his warm body on top of hers - feelings and sensations that she was itching to relive the moment Jack arrived.

  She wasn’t forced to wait too long before, for the second time that day, she was startled to her senses by the sound of snapping twigs coming from the undergrowth to her left. She let out a little gasp, leaping from her wooden perch and spilling a few precious drops of wine as she did so. A six foot tall shadow was walking slowly towards her from out of the trees, and Sienna caught a glimpse of shining, chocolate brown hair in the rising moonlight. Now that the moment was finally here - the moment she had previously never even dared to hope would arrive but that she had secretly imagined a thousand times over in her mind, Sienna found she was unsure of how to proceed. Taking one shaky, tentative step towards the looming shadow, Sienna’s voice was almost too quiet to hear, even in the silent woods.

  “Jack?” Her voice cracked as she spoke her lover's name. The shadow did not reply, but instead took one, final step out of the gloom of the trees, revealing himself fully in a brilliant beam of silver moonlight that managed to pierce through the branches. As she finally gazed upon the face of the man she had been waiting for, her stomach tightened in shock and horrifying disappointment, and she could no longer hold back the river of vomit that now emitted from her mouth.

  Sam waited patiently while Sienna emptied herself into the undergrowth. Eventually, still bent double and leaning against a nearby tree, Sienna spoke.

  “I thought I told you to fuck off.” She grumbled, full of loathing and self pity.

  “It’s me, Sienna.” Sam whispered gently, feeling nothing but love and a strong urge to protect the girl in front of him.

  “I know bloody well who you are Sam, and I’m telling you to fuck off! I happen to be waiting for someone important.” She finished hastily.

  “I know.” Sam continued, standing his ground. “It’s me - You’re waiting for me.” There was a brief silence, before Sienna snapped -

  “What?” One short, sharp syllable.

  “It’s me Sienna. I’m Lewis. I’m Jack.”

  “Don’t be fucking ridiculous...” She began, before her mind could comprehend that Sam couldn’t possibly have any idea who Lewis or Jack was, or even have known Sienna’s name unless he was telling the truth.

  Sam watched the realization dawn on Sienna’s face, as little pieces of the puzzle fell into place in her mind, and the truth of the picture started to become clear to her. She seemed eerily calm and collected, her pale face expressionless as she asked -

  “So, you’re Lewis Stowell? You made a fake profile?”

  “Yes.”

  “But why?”

  “Because I love you, and it was the only way you would talk to me.”

  “But...I told you everything, all my secrets.”

  “And I told you mine. We’re meant to be together, Sienna.”

  Ignoring his ridiculous claims of love, Sienna asked the one question that burned at the front of her mind.

  “But Jack.” She mumbled in shock. “My Jack. How could you have known?”

  “Jack was my father. I didn’t know about you and him until tonight.” Sam admitted painfully.

  A few seconds later, Sienna was once more throwing up loudly into the bushes, yelling at him in between heaves -

  “You lied to me!...You...Bastard!...You made me believe...made me love you!...Jack!” The last work was a choked sob as she fell to her knees in her own puke.

  Spears of agony tore through Sienna as her new found hope and happiness crashed around her. Her jarring, heartbreaking sobs echoed through the silent night as she struggled to breathe through her pain. Her world was in tatters around her, torn into a thousand pieces that couldn’t ever be rebuilt. Somehow losing Jack all over again, despite only having him back for a few short hours, was worse than it had been the first time around, and Sienna felt as if she would die from the sheer anguish and torture of it all. Though death was a welcome prospect right now. All the while Sam was yammering on behind her, trying to justify himself and sounding as if he too were in floods of tears, not that Sienna cared.

  She had no idea how long she knelt there in the cold mud, but by the time her tears had run out, replaced with dry, empty sobs, she knew what she had to do - the only thing she could do now.

  “You’ve ruined my life.” She stated simply, stopping Sam's incessant stream of words in their tracks. “You’ve taken everything from me. I may as well be dead.”

  “Please. Sienna...” Came the pitiful plea from behind her.

  She stood up sharply, her mind set and nobody could change it now. Without looking behind her she spoke to Sam one last time, injecting as much venom as possible into her scathing words.

  “I couldn’t possibly hate you more. And you can die too for all I care!” Without further ado she scooped up her spilled bottle of wine and disappeared into the trees in the opposite direction.

  Sam had no idea how he had managed to get home. The last thing he remembered was stumbling through the pitch black trees, getting scratched and stung by unseen flora and fauna as he cried Sienna’s name over and over, to no avail. Much like that morning in the smoking area, Sam's despair was complete and consuming, and he existed only as a vessel of self hatred and wretched anguish. This time there would be no bouncing back - no more second chances for him and Sienna - this time he had royally fucked things up with her, thereby fucking up every other aspect of his life simultaneously. The next thing he knew he was pulling into his drive, his body automatically performing the tasks that his broken mind were unable to think about. And so it wasn’t until he was well past the threshold of his house that he realized that all the lights were switched off, and that the air was thick with a grimness and despair that extended beyond Sam himself.

  With a strong feeling of déjà-vu, Sam wandered around the eerily silent house, flicking lights on as he passed through each room, calling emptily out to his mother, with a voice that did not sound like his own. his subconscious already knew what he would find before he even entered the bathroom or turned the light on, but he could not stop his body from carrying on in auto pilot. He flicked the bathroom switch and harsh light flooded his eyes, bouncing back at him off the hundred white tiles, but he did not blink or even squint - He couldn’t close his eyes against what greeted him on the bathroom floor.

  Looking like a crumpled pile of dirty washing in the middle of the linoleum, his mothers prone, unmoving body lay spread eagled across the floor.

  “Mum?” His voice echoed around the room, his mind instantly detaching itself from the unbearable emotions that now consumed him. He took a slow step forward, bringing his mothers face into view, and revealing the drying, crusting pool of vomit in which she lay. Half of it was spread across the floor by the side of her, the other half covered her face like some hideous, peeling mask.

  Sam was no longer in control of his own body, and fell with a thud to his knees, crawling towards his mother, unable to breathe. He already knew she was dead - her skin was whiter than the linoleum she lay on, and her lips, beneath their coating of vomit, were tinged with an edging of cornflower blue. But still, he could
not stop himself from shaking her slightly, her head lolling from side to side and her mouth opening in a grotesque, slack jawed ‘o’ as he did so.

  A small, white object rolled out of his mothers loose fingers and he moved her, and clattered away, rolling across the floor. Sam reached out for the object, one hand curling around the small, plastic pill container while the other held tightly onto his mothers cold, dead hand. He opened his shaking palm, reading the label with blank eyes, not actually taking in any of the words written on, the last thing Sienna ever said to him running around and around in his head -

  “You can die too for all I care!”

  Despite the hopelessness of everything, Sam was still, and eternally would be, a slave to Sienna’s wishes, and could deny her nothing she asked for. After all - what did he have left to lose? Rising slowly from the floor and dropping his mother's hand back down to her side, Sam tightened his grip on the plastic tub in his hand and shuffled, zombie like into her bedroom. He emerged seconds later with a half empty bottle of rum and shuffled back, resuming his sitting position next to his dead mother. Gazing once more at her still face, now more peaceful than he had ever seen it while she was alive, Sam lovingly stroked the hair from her eyes, silent tears pouring from his as he whispered -

  “See you soon Mum. Love you.”

  EPILOGUE - 6 MONTHS LATER

  The early summer/late spring sunshine shone down brightly on the mass of students as they clamored to make their way into College, all smiling, laughing, flirting and chatting away happily. Only one small group of boys didn’t join in with the frivolity, choosing instead to occupy a quiet corner of the car park as they raised a beer to the memory of their lost friend on the six month anniversary of his death.