‘What?’
‘You’re not the right person for this, Lily.’
He saw her face blanch, was about to comfort her, but then thought better of it. He moved his hands from hers, immediately missing the warmth, and stood.
‘I don’t think that being in the public eye together is right for either of us,’ he finished lamely, but he could tell that under her stony expression she was upset.
‘Okay,’ she said hoarsely, and then cleared her throat. Her voice was much stronger when she spoke again. ‘You’re probably right. No one would believe we were together anyway.’
She pulled her legs up and he could see she was contemplating how to stand without his help. He offered it anyway, and she accepted reluctantly—and again, so she could get off the boulder.
With each step back things between them grew more tense. Something inside Jacques grew more unsettled—so much so that he sighed in relief when they reached the pathway leading to her store.
‘Thank you for your help with Kyle today,’ she said primly, and each stilted word had his chest tightening.
‘I was happy to help.’
It sounded strange to him to be so formal after what they’d just spoken about, but he didn’t know how else to respond. He didn’t even know why her words left him with an ache in his chest.
Silence stretched, making it feel as though there was more distance between them than the few centimetres from where she stood on the pathway and where he stood in the sand. The silence was heavy with disappointment, and it shook him more than he cared to admit. Perhaps because he’d lived with it hanging over his head his entire life. The disappointment that he would never live up to expectations he didn’t know.
Like when he’d been hailed as the best player the Shadows had ever had and it hadn’t impressed his father.
Heaven only knew what the man wanted from him—or from Nathan, for that matter, since even Nathan’s law career had made but a blip on Dale Brookes’s radar. But even disappointment implied caring. It implied that his father felt enough for his children to want them to achieve certain things. Since Jacques was sure that wasn’t the case, maybe it was his own disappointment that his father didn’t love them that was bothering him...
He shook his head. Where had that come from?
‘Jacques?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I think I’m going to kiss you.’
He barely had time to process her words before her lips were on his.
Heat seared through him and his lungs caught fire.
He heard her intake of breath, realised that she felt the same.
Except that while his reaction had been to deepen the kiss hers was to pull away.
They stood like that for a moment, his hand lightly on her waist, both of hers on his chest. He felt them shaking against him and only then realised that his body was shaking too. Her eyes were wide, and the flush on her cheeks was caused by an entirely different reason than his earlier teasing.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she breathed, aiming her striking eyes at him.
Stealing his breath. Stoking his desire.
‘I didn’t mean to—’
This time he interrupted her with another kiss.
His arms went around her waist and he pulled her closer, lifting her from the path until she stood with him on the sand. Somewhere in his mind it registered that the romance of taking a walk on the beach that he’d teased her about earlier shrouded them now—that their first kiss was now on a beach in the moonlight. But then he stopped thinking, consumed by the magic of her mouth.
She tasted like strawberries just ripened. Smelled like a warm day in spring. Something inside him softened at the sensations that came with her kiss. She responded hungrily, deepening it. He heard a groan and realised that it had come from him. Because she was making him forget where they were—who he was and what he had to lose—he fought to slow the kiss. He hoped it would lessen the tension, the urgency, that had built between them.
But his attempt was a vain one, only succeeding in making him want more.
In making him need more.
He pulled away from her, his breathing as shaky as hers, and forced himself to take a step back. Forced himself not to be charmed by that just-kissed look on her face. He ignored the fact that her expression was like that because he had kissed her—deeply and thoroughly—and reined his emotions in.
‘We shouldn’t have done that.’
She looked up at him, her hand freezing midway to touching her lips, and he watched her fingers curl into a fist.
He felt as though his heart was right in the palm of that hand.
‘No, we shouldn’t have.’
She bit her lip, and his body yearned to go back to what they had been doing. It took him a moment to realise that she was doing it to keep herself from saying anything.
‘We probably won’t see each other after this, so it doesn’t matter.’ He felt like an absolute jerk saying it—even more so when he saw her flinch. Her words about no one believing that they would be together played in his head again, and he wondered at them. Wondered why he thought his words now had proved the truth of that to her somehow.
‘Good luck with the TV show tomorrow. I’m sure everything will work out.’
She turned her back on him and hurried down the path before he could respond. And because he wanted to give her—and himself—some time to process events, he waited before following.
But that time wasn’t nearly enough for him to process everything that was going on in his mind. To figure out why his actions that night had shamed him. Especially since they weren’t actions he would have been ashamed of at any other time.
Or with any other person.
It was Lily, he realised. Something about her made his actions feel...unethical. Manipulative. He hadn’t thought he was being manipulative. Or perhaps, more accurately, he hadn’t cared. At least not until she’d called him on it. And that kiss had only complicated things between them. He worried that it would affect the self-confidence she had so much trouble with.
Which was why this was for the best. He didn’t need to worry about someone else’s self-confidence. He needed to focus. He’d worked too hard to make up for his past to be distracted by a woman. Besides, as much as Lily intrigued him, she needed someone who would take care of her. Someone who would be patient with her insecurities, who would appreciate the spirit that covered them.
Someone who didn’t have a million hoops to jump through before people saw him as decent.
And that wasn’t Jacques.
It was for the best, he thought again, and didn’t examine why it didn’t feel like it. Or why realising that he wouldn’t see Lily again any time soon made him feel more empty than the task ahead of him.
CHAPTER SIX
LILY TOOK A shaky breath as she walked into the Latte Mornings studio. She still wasn’t sure why she was there. When she’d got home the previous night she’d convinced herself that she would forget all about Jacques. Especially since she still felt raw because his interest in her—his kindness to her—had all been a ploy to get her to help him.
She’d told herself she should have known. Kyle had been nice to her once upon a time. It was why she’d fallen for him—and the way she’d learned that niceness was never simple.
But still, it stung.
Jacques’s dismissal felt like confirmation that she wasn’t likeable. And even though he’d claimed otherwise his actions had shown her the truth. They had amplified all her insecurities and she’d been determined to escape them. She’d been determined to show Jacques she was as right for his plan as anyone else.
So she’d kissed him.
It had been impulsive. It had been hot. It had been everything she’d expected from a man with Jacques’s unden
iable sexiness and charm. But there had been something more, too. She remembered the scar above his mouth again, the fight he’d said he’d had with Kyle, and realised it had been dangerous.
It both thrilled and terrified her that she seemed to be attracted to the danger she sensed in Jacques. And, though she wanted to, she couldn’t deny that it was part of the reason she was walking into a television studio at six in the morning to pretend to be his girlfriend.
She knew this plan was a form of redemption for him. She’d read articles about what had happened during his last game. Watched the footage. She’d seen the absolute anger on his face. Felt the danger of it settle in her throat when she hadn’t been able to tear her eyes away.
Her instincts told her that that fight had mattered, despite Jacques’s claims otherwise. And the more digging she had done, the more she’d become convinced of it. The internet was full of what had happened after that fight. His red card...the suspension. The year he’d said he’d been ‘self-destructive’. The pictures.
She didn’t know Jacques very well, but she knew the man in those pictures wasn’t the same person she’d spoken to the night before. The man in those pictures was broken. Completely so. But the man she’d met hid that brokenness well...
It had all fuelled her urge to help him. And in an effort to avoid the thought that she wanted to help only because she was attracted to him, she’d realised she could do with his help. She needed it if she wanted to save the store she’d opened six months ago from going under. And she had to save it—or the guilt that anchored her heart to the soles of her feet most days would be for nothing.
Pretending to be Jacques’s girlfriend would give her a platform where she could market her store from. To get more customers, to get more income and pay more bills. That had been the real reason—at least the biggest one—she’d got up at four-thirty, got ready and driven almost an hour to the television studio.
Because she couldn’t fail with her store. She couldn’t fail at her dream. And she sure as hell couldn’t prove her parents right and fall even further short of their expectations.
But her steps faltered when she saw the two security guards at the entrance of the studio. How was she going to get past them?
If she tried to talk her way through—told them she was Jacques’s girlfriend—she would just seem like some crazed fan. In fact all her options would make her seem like that. And even if they did believe her, how would she verify it? She couldn’t call Jacques, since she didn’t have his number. The only thing she had of him was the memory of the heat their lips had sparked when they kissed. And she highly doubted that would get her through...
Her courage failing, she turned to leave.
‘Lily?’
She turned back at the sound of her name, her heart beating so fast it might have been sprinting to win a race. Jacques stood just behind the security guards, a cup of coffee from the barista next to him in his hand. Her eyes greedily took him in, which in no way helped to slow down her heart-rate. She’d managed to underplay her attraction to him in her memories, convincing herself that she’d exaggerated his good looks. Even the pictures she’d seen on the internet hadn’t swayed that conviction.
Now, though, she was forced to admit that she couldn’t have exaggerated Jacques. She had never seen someone look that good in jeans and a T-shirt, though the black leather jacket escalated the look. Along with the mussed hair, she saw another reason for his bad-boy nickname...
But the confusion on his face distracted her.
‘Hey, babe,’ she said, and wondered if the ‘babe’ was too much. But when she saw the way his eyes widened, she decided to commit.
‘I’m so sorry I’m late. Can I go in?’ she said to the security guards, and after getting a brief nod of confirmation from Jacques they let her through. She walked up to him, steeled herself against the attraction, and gave him a quick kiss.
‘I didn’t think you were coming,’ Jacques said, the slight shock in his eyes at her presence and at the kiss almost immediately cloaked.
‘I changed my mind. I didn’t want you to go through this alone.’ She took the coffee from his hand and sipped. It was strong, without any milk, and she had to force herself not to spit it out. ‘Do you think we could get another?’
Amusement crept into his eyes, and he nodded. A few moments later he was back, this time with a coffee that had milk in it—he’d taken note the night before, she thought—and two sachets of sugar.
‘Let’s swap, honey.’
The drawl he used made her lips twitch.
‘I know how much you like hot coffee.’
She thanked him as they exchanged their coffees, and then forced herself not to react when he put an arm around her shoulders and the smell of his cologne filled her senses.
‘You want to tell me what you’re really doing here?’ he said under his breath as they rounded the corner to where they shot the morning show.
‘I’m paying back a debt,’ she responded in the same tone.
‘You didn’t have to.’
They were in the main studio now, and she was briefly distracted by the busyness of the set. She had never been on one before, and it was a little overwhelming.
She forced her attention back to Jacques, moving in front of him to make it look as if they were talking intimately. In reality, she just wanted to be out of his arms.
‘I know, but this is important to you, right?’ He gave her a wary nod and she continued, ‘So let me do this. It’s not like it’s real. What’s the harm?’
He studied her for a moment, and then he said, ‘Thanks.’
‘No problem.’ When their gazes locked and something sparked she took a step back and looked at her watch. ‘What time are you going on?’
‘Seven-thirty.’
She nodded, stayed still for a moment. And then, when the silence grew a little awkward, she said, ‘It wasn’t until I got here that I realised I wouldn’t be able to get in. So...thanks for getting yourself some coffee.’
She smiled thinly at him, and turned away before she could become ensnared by his magnetism.
‘Mr Brookes? We’re ready for you in Hair and Make-up.’
Lily watched as the young woman tucked her hair behind her ears when Jacques directed his attention to her.
‘You can follow me,’ the girl said quickly, and turned. But then she realised that Jacques wasn’t following. ‘Is there a problem?’
‘No...not unless my girlfriend has to stay out here?’
The girl’s eyes widened, and her black hair whipped from side to side as she looked at Lily and then back to Jacques again.
Though it was strange hearing Jacques call her that, something fluttered inside Lily at the thought. Something that was lined with pride, with satisfaction. With a thrill.
She tried to ignore it.
‘Um...sure, you can both follow me.’
Decidedly less confident, the girl led them to a room that looked exactly like the rooms Lily had seen in movies. Jacques was settled into the chair in front of one of the mirrors, and she sat herself on the couch opposite the chair. The man who was doing Jacques’s make-up was tall and lanky, with bright green spikes all over his head. There was barely an introduction—though she did learn the make-up artist’s name was Earl—before he began putting foundation on Jacques’s face, and she couldn’t hide her smile.
‘Something amusing you, Newman?’
She met his eyes in the mirror and found her smile broadening. ‘Why would you think that, Jacques?’
‘Maybe because of that ridiculous smile on your face?’ He closed his eyes as he said it to allow Earl to put foundation around them.
‘Fine—you caught me. But I was only thinking how wonderful it is that I don’t have to do your make-up for you today. Thanks so much, Earl.’
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Earl glanced over at her, his expression amused before he schooled it and got back to work.
‘You’re ruining my reputation, Lily,’ Jacques growled, and Lily felt a thrill go up her spine.
She loved the banter, the easiness of the conversation they were sharing. It seemed that having a conversation with Jacques as his pretend girlfriend was a lot easier than having one as his friend. Although, to be fair, she could hardly call whatever she and Jacques shared a friendship. Perhaps ‘alliance’ was a better word.
‘Are you going on with him?’ Earl asked as he put some wax on his hand and vigorously rubbed it through Jacques’s hair.
‘No, no,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m just here for moral support.’
‘And you’re doing a great job, babe.’
She shot Jacques a look that she hoped told him he was laying it on a bit too thick, but Earl didn’t seem to notice.
‘You two are quite sweet. Not who I would have pictured you with, Bad-Boy Brookes, but maybe that’s a good thing.’
Earl pulled at a few more strands of Jacques’s hair, then nodded. ‘You’re as ready as I can make you. I’ll go check how long it’ll be before you have to go on. I’ll be right back.’
He had barely walked out of the room before Lily spoke.
‘That nickname has quite a ring to it.’
Jacques got out of the chair and came to sit next to her. He knew just as well as she did that he was too close, but since he seemed to want it that way Lily refused to indulge him by moving away. She just shifted her weight so that she was leaning to the other side.
‘It’s not one I’m proud of.’
‘Nor should you be, if all the articles I read last night were true. Particularly the one that had the headline: Bad-Boy Brookes’s Year of Debauchery.’
He turned towards her, the look in his eyes dangerous. ‘I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. The fact that you looked me up, or that you’ve mentioned that horrible headline.’
She flushed, but refused to look away.
The Millionaire's Redemption Page 5