Finding Summer

by Rice, Rachel E.

  Summer walked closer to Jackson and although he couldn’t see her, and they weren’t aware that they knew each other, there was a surge of energy between them they couldn’t explain. Yet neither one recognized the other. Jackson due to his amnesia and all that he had been through recently, and Summer simply never imagined that the bearded soldier could have been Jackson, so she didn’t make the connection between her high school crush and the man in the bed.

  The doctors flashed light in Jackson’s eyes and examined them. The lead doctor turned to the interns and shook his head. “Well, Lieutenant, we’ve done all that can be done.”

  “But why can’t I see?” Jackson asked with urgency.

  “Maybe there was damage we missed on the brain scan.”

  Jackson reached for Summer’s hand and she grabbed it and held it tight. Her hand was comforting. She was the only person he knew. He had been in a coma and brought back to the U.S. shortly after his injuries. He passed his hands over his face and he could feel that there were no deep scars, but it was a face that he didn’t know. Maybe if he could see, then he could piece together the puzzle.

  “Don’t worry, I’m here,” the familiar voice said. “I won’t leave you.”

  “The social worker will be in to speak with you, lieutenant. You will be discharged in thirty days, after physical therapy and observation. We’ll train you to live with your disability,” the doctor said, before shaking Jackson’s hand and walking out of the room.

  Jackson couldn’t imagine having a life as a blind man with no memory. How would he ever function like this? Maybe the government would expedite his papers and he would know who his family is. Then he could go home. But now he had no home and he had no one but the girl with the soft hands who felt sorry for him.

  “The social worker will arrange for you to have an apartment and a seeing eye dog and whatever else you need,” the nurse said, passing Jackson’s doctors and standing at the foot of his bed.

  “I don’t need a dog. I will learn how to move about on my own.”

  “You can’t drive a car. It’s impossible to navigate around Houston without a car. Won’t you consider the dog?” the intern asked.

  “You have stated the obvious. I will find…”

  Summer interrupted, “I’ll take care of him.” Without thinking, and to everyone’s surprise, she had committed herself to a blind man. She could barely care for herself with all her obligations.

  “But Miss…”

  “I said I will be his eyes,” Summer said, glaring at the nurse.

  “It’s a sacrifice,” Jackson admitted.

  “I want to do it,” she said, gazing down on Jackson. Why not, she questioned. He’s handsome, charming, and grateful. He appeared to be the kind of man she had searched for all her life. Never mind he had a few physical flaws. Some men have everything that a woman could want and yet they don’t have the things a woman needs—a caring, devoted man who doesn’t care how she looks.

  “Very well, leave your name with the social worker and she will explain his needs and living conditions. You will have to drive him to his doctors’ appointments. Housing will be provided. You will have to live with him. ”

  “I didn’t know we will have to live together.” Summer took a hard breath.

  “He will need a caregiver because of the nature of his disability. We can’t have him wandering around the city without assistance.” The nurse looked over her glasses at Summer and she shook her head. “I have to leave now. If you have any questions, here’s my card. I’ll be the lieutenant’s main contact when he needs to see a physician. He’s scheduled to see a psychiatrist in a month. Do you want to accompany him?” She glanced over to Summer. Before Summer answered she said, “We can have a car service pick him up if you’re unable to be there with him.”

  “Don’t refer to me as if I’m not here,” Jackson said with his voice rising. “I’m perfectly capable of deciding whether I need someone with me. I’m not a mental case. I just lost my sight and memory!”

  The nurse and intern filed out of the room, leaving a silence like a curtain had closed on the final act of a play.

  “If you need me, I’ll go with you,” Summer said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

  “Did you hear what the doctor said? You still have time to run. You’ve committed yourself to an invalid who doesn’t know who he is and can’t even find his shoes.”

  “The government will eventually locate your family and you’ll be with them in no time.” Summer gave a faint smile, which was wasted on Jackson.

  ***

  Over the course of a month, Summer and Jackson met with the social worker and he made arrangements for an apartment, which was equipped for two people and had been modified for his handicap.

  Summer arrived early to take Jackson home. She had seen him only when he was in his hospital bed wearing the blue cotton gowns that were given to patients. When she walked into the room he was sitting in a chair, staring out the window. He knew her scent. She smelled like strawberries. He turned and smiled. “You smell good.” He wore a pair of dark glasses.

  “You can thank Bed Bath and Beyond,” she quipped. He tilted his head, confused. Summer realized that he didn’t know what she was referring to. “Today we’re going home.”

  “I like that. You said we were going home,” Jackson said, flashing a bright smile.

  “You’re a handsome man, you should smile more.”

  “And what makes you think so?” he questioned.

  “I can see.” She paused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

  “No problem. I can’t see and I know you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life,” Jackson said with a large wide smile, which made his facial features more appealing than ever.

  “Give me your hand,” Summer said. “That’s because you can’t remember all the women who were beating down your door asking for one more night with you.”

  Jackson gave a loud chuckle. “You make me feel better. Maybe being blind is not so bad if I have you around to make me feel alive and wanted.”

  Summer did want his company. She needed him more than he could imagine. “Since you don’t have a name, I’m going to give you one. When the VA gets around to finding out who you are, you won’t be burdened with this name.”

  Jackson stood and opened his collapsible cane as he held on to Summer’s arm. They walked to the front of the hospital, waiting for the valet to bring Summer’s car.

  “I think I’ll call you Adam.”

  “Why Adam?”

  “You remind me of my first crush. His name was Adam.”

  “Were you in love with him?”

  “As much as a ten year old can be in love. Remember, I said crush. In high school I…” She didn’t go further.

  “Oh, that serious?” His eyebrows raised and a smile crossed his stoic face.

  “You need to smile more. You could break a woman’s heart.”

  “I don’t want to break anyone’s heart, especially yours,” Jackson said, looking straight ahead. Summer glanced at his face. He kept his eyes shut behind the dark glasses. His square jaw was athletic. His hair fell in short, blond curls.

  The hospital provided clothes for him, some khakis and shirts and black shoes, but they were not of Summer’s liking.

  “Come this Saturday, we’re going shopping. That hospital has you looking like an old man with those funny looking, out-of-date clothes.”

  He felt his shirt and the pants that were loose and held up with a cheap belt.

  “I’m going to buy some shirts and pants for you, put some swag in your life. You look like a man who should be on the cover of GQ magazine. Not Field and Stream.”

  “I can’t let you take your money and spend it on me.”

  “It won’t cost much, trust me. I know where to find bargains. I practically live at Goodwill and TJMaxx. We can make a day out of it. It’s something to do when you’re struggling.”

  Jackson felt b
etter. Maybe Summer would stay long enough if she thought he was worth it. But she didn’t appear to be someone who wanted anything but his company. Why else would she take up with a blind man? He had very little to offer her. Maybe after he received his back pay from the VA, he could do something for her, but knowing how slow the veteran’s affairs worked, it wouldn’t be anytime soon, he thought.

  The valet put the car in park in front of Summer and Jackson. She gave the man a tip and he trotted around to Jackson’s side. Jackson waved him off, opened the door himself, and climbed into the car.

  He turned to Summer and said, “I can do some things myself, like open my own doors and bathe.”

  “Well, if you want to, but I was the one who bathed you when you were in a coma.”

  “I guess that’s why I woke up,” he said, laughing. “You must have taken some liberties with me.”

  “No, but if I thought a little stimulation would wake you up sooner, I might have let my hand wander on some sensitive parts. A little stimulation has been known to raise the dead.” Jackson started laughing. When he stopped, the song, “Be Brave” was playing on the radio. He tilted his head toward Summer, who began to sing the lyrics. Then noticing his stillness, she paused.

  “What?” Summer said smiling. “No, I’m not quitting my day job if you’re worried.”

  “You’re fun to be with. I wish…”

  “I know. I feel the same way.” They appeared to read each other’s minds and the conversation ceased, silence passing between them. Jackson felt awkward.

  “Is this your car?” he inquired.

  “Yes.”

  “You have problems with the cooling system.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I can smell it. Since I’ve been blind, my senses are sharp. I’m beginning to get used to this blind thing, but I can’t get use to not having a past.” There was a long pause, as if he was searching for a memory that hid like a child who didn’t want to be found. “When the government gets around to giving me my money, I’ll buy you a new car.”

  “But in the meantime, we better pray that this old piece of junk can take us around,” Summer said, looking in Jackson’s direction. “We are here, Adam.”

  She jumped out of the car and met Jackson. “We’re on the second floor. We have a balcony. You can sit out there in the afternoons when the sun is down. You know Houston is like an oven in the middle of the day, so don’t go out until sundown.” She reached for his hand.

  “I don’t know anything about you, Summer. And you don’t know me. Can we get to know each other?”

  “I expect we’ll know everything about each other in a few days. There is nothing like living with someone to learn all you want to know or need to know.” She opened the door to the apartment and said, “It’s very modern. It has an open space. I can cook over here and there is a dining area that can be turned into a library. When I get my check, I’ll buy you some books on tape. You can spend your day listening to television or books. At night we can sit on the terrace, or go for a walk after dinner…”

  “You can’t plan your life around me,” Jackson said.

  “That’s for me to decide, Adam, come look at…I mean, get a feel for your room.” And she grabbed his hand, leading him into his bedroom.

  “The VA gave you a small bed. I asked the movers to place it in my room and gave you my king mattress because you’re so tall. I didn’t want your feet hanging over the bed.” Jackson sat down and spread his hands over it.

  “A big bed for a tall man,” she said, sitting near him.

  “I never thought of myself as being tall. I feel small.”

  “That’s because you can’t see how tall and handsome you are.”

  “Do you think I am, Summer? How old do I look? I feel old.”

  “I think you could be a few years older than me. Not much more.” And Summer placed her hand on his hair and swept it out of his face.

  “Summer, why are you being so vague? Is there something you don’t want to tell me?”

  “No. Of course not. I’d say you’re about twenty-two.”

  “Then that would make you...”

  “I’m twenty-one.”

  “And you don’t have a boyfriend?”

  “I never stayed in one town, city, or state long enough to have one. My father’s job always kept us on the move.”

  “What happened to your childhood sweetheart?”

  “I don’t want to talk about him. Adam was the first boy I liked in elementary school, but Jackson was the first boy I loved.”

  “I’m sorry. Bad memories?” Jackson asked.

  “No. Good memories. The kind you don’t want to let go of. The kind that makes you sad when you no longer have them to keep you going, the kind of memories that make you say, what if.”

  “What about family?”

  She ignored Jackson. “You ask too many questions. Here, I made you lunch before I picked you up from the hospital.” Summer took Jackson’s hand and led him to the kitchen counter and he slid onto the stool. While they munched on cold chicken sandwiches and fruit, Summer explained that her parents had died of cancer. She said that she had been living alone, working at odd jobs, trying to get a degree in the medical field with hopes of becoming a doctor. Jackson listened to her plight and encouraged her. He promised he would pay for her education as his appreciation for her kindness.

  It was Summer’s nature to be kind. She knew she could love the man sitting before her. She fell in love with him when she first saw him, even as he slept in a coma. She needed to help him, especially since he was a veteran. She needed to give back because of his service.

  “I’ll take you to your room and you can shower. I’ll clear the dishes.”

  “I want to help you,” he said, turning his face to her.

  “It will be faster if I do it, but if you want to be self sufficient, I understand.”

  “I never want to be so independent that I don’t need you,” Jackson stated. He turned to face her, then turned toward the sound of the plates being placed in the dishwasher.

  Her intentions were to take care of Jackson until he no longer needed her, or she would stay until they both knew it was time to go. Summer dried her hands and reached for Jackson and he followed her into his bedroom. “My room is across the hall. I have a bath and a shower. When I get home tonight, we can watch TV together.”

  “You’re leaving me?” The sound of his voice was like a child who thought his mother had abandoned him.

  “I have to go to class and then work.”

  “What kind of work?”

  “I work for this rich doctor. His wife died and I stay with his son and daughter when he has to work the evening shift. It’s good money.”

  “When I get my money, you won’t need to work. Just go to school and take care of me.”

  “But I thought you didn’t need taking care of,” she said, grabbing her purse and book bag, pausing for an answer that didn’t come, then hurrying out the door.

  After class, Summer drove to her babysitting job. She stayed three hours and was happy to be going home to a nice apartment and not the one she had near Main Street. Now, she stayed in a better area of town with Jackson.

  She felt safe driving her wreck into the apartment subdivision at night. There were cameras and guards in the gated community. As she drove pass the apartment to the covered parking area, she looked up and saw Jackson sitting on the balcony, staring outward. She couldn’t wait to see him and tell him that they were going to Galveston tomorrow for a little fun and sun.

  Entering the apartment, darkness confronted her. Turning on the lights, she walked to the terrace where she found him sitting in the same spot.

  “Hi. I’m glad you’re back. I missed you,” he said.

  “I haven’t been gone long.”

  “It felt like a life time to me,” he said, soft and sure.

  Sitting on the wicker chair next to Jackson, Summer looked down when he put his hand on top of h
ers. His heartbeat quickened and she could feel the heat his body radiated. Summer became nervous. She didn’t really know him and she didn’t want to give him false hope. She didn’t know how long she could be attentive to a man who may be married and have children. Her thoughts caused her to pull away from him and hide her hands.

  Why would she risk getting her heart broken again? It had already happened to her once when she was young and fell in love with Jackson. And how stupid it was to think that she could replace Jackson with Adam; it was like inviting the same fate she endured when she was seventeen.

  “I thought it would be good for you if we go to the beach tomorrow. Do you like the beach?” Summer asked.

  “I don’t think I have ever been to one.”

  “No way. That just doesn’t seem right. How could you not have been to a beach? Not unless you lived in an area where there were no beaches. Can you at least swim?”

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head and grimaced. He knew Summer was trying to help him but nothing registered.

  “Then that’s settled, we’ll spend the day at the beach and roam around Galveston, taking in the sights. I can be a travel guide. It’s nice in Galveston when it’s not too hot. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a cool eighty degrees.” Summer was trying to get Jackson excited.

  The weather wouldn’t be an impediment to him. He had gotten use to the stifling heat in the desert of Iraq and the bone chilling nights of Afghanistan.

  Jackson’s face lit up and the warmth of his smile lingered long on his handsome face. “See, when you smile you remind me… never mind. Come with me.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him to the couch. “We can watch some mindless television. I know, let’s watch Dexter. It’s the last season and I don’t know what I’m going to do without Dexter.”

  “Who’s Dexter?”

  “Never mind, you’ll see…I mean, you’ll hear and I’ll fill in the details.” She popped popcorn and put a bowl of it on the table next to the couch, then they sat together, with Summer holding on to Jackson’s hand at the gory parts.