Finding Summer

by Rice, Rachel E.

  ***

  Graduation was bittersweet that May. Only the people in her honors class were her friends and they were not that close to her. They had plans after graduation, which included leaving Houston and getting jobs in different states or even overseas. The economy was doing better in Houston but the pay was low and if Summer ever wanted her dream of becoming a pediatrician to come true, she would have to work at something that would pay more, plus she needed money to pay the taxes on her father’s land, which had been transferred to her.

  She considered selling the property, but realized that she couldn’t. It represented her father and mother, and it was a place where she had been the happiest.

  She toyed with the idea of going back to her home in west Texas. She didn’t have to pay rent there and maybe she could find a job. Not likely, though, she thought. She would just be lonely and it would make her think of Adam/Jackson more. But with little money for rent, she had no other choice. She had her memories, and she had to find out what happened, so she decided to go back to her home that she shared for a brief moment with him.

  Enough money for a new car, Summer purchased a small Kia, which she was able to do with a low down payment, thanks to a dealer incentive for college graduates. After the long drive, she was relieved to reach the house. All she could think of was maybe there was something she had missed. Summer stood looking at the door to Jackson’s room. Finally, she entered and walked near his bed, where the nightstand set glaring at her. She opened the drawer and saw his notebooks.

  Should she look at his private thoughts, she questioned. How else could she learn about him? Maybe it would give her a clue to what he was thinking. She hesitated. Then she opened the book. He had dated the entries. Taking a breath of air, she read.

  June 1

  I love Summer. I love her because she has a beautiful heart. I love her because she is all I can hope for, not because I was blind and because my options were few, but because I don’t think I have ever met anyone who is as giving of herself. There is no one I would rather be with than her.

  She calls me Adam, but she is my Eve and she will remain my love forever. She suggested that I write my feelings. Writing has freed me to be who I am. I’m no longer afraid that I’m not loved because I am loved by her. She suggested that I think about what happened to me in Afghanistan, but try as I may, it is confusing, and I’m frustrated and don’t think it will help me to think about the past.

  June 10

  She took me to the movie theater. I don’t know when I’ve experienced such happiness. Summer and I laughed and I held her hand. I wish I had known her before because she would be the girl I would love a lifetime. If I’m married to someone, I hope she has the same qualities as Summer, but how could she? There can be only one Summer. I know she wouldn’t want to hear this, but if I am indeed married, then I will dissolve my marriage and return to Summer.

  The book fell from her hand. She didn’t want to read further. She felt weak; his words affected her and her breathing became shallow. She didn’t want to lose him to someone else, but she couldn’t come between him and his wife if he were married. Sitting on the floor, she propped her back against the railing of the bed and continue reading.

  June 30

  I can’t wait to be alone with Summer. My nervous heart is beating too fast. I can’t control my feelings any longer. She brought me to this wonder house so that I can heal. It was here that I gained my sight. I hope I don’t say or do the wrong thing in my eagerness to feel like a man. I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her day and night. I want to caress her body and have her take a shower with me and then we can lie together all day and make love to each other. I want to ask her to marry me, but how can I?

  Summer never knew Jackson’s feelings were that strong. She thought he had resigned himself to being with her, not of choice but of necessity. Now she knew better and she would have to find the man she loves. She needed closure.

  Chapter Ten

  On Jackson’s return home, he discovered his father had taken ill. He tried to keep a distance between the two of them. He felt ready to take over the companies and put them under one banner. Now was a good time to inform him of his engagement to Victoria. This revelation would give Jackson some relief and make his father happy. He was tired of battling his mind and conscience.

  When Jackson entered the dining room for breakfast, his father glanced up with a raised eyebrow. “I see you’ve made changes in your appearance.” Jackson’s gaze fell on the dark blue suit, tie, and white shirt he was wearing. “I guess you have finally grown up.”

  “I grew up, father, the day I left your house.”

  His father raised another eyebrow. “I didn’t come here to argue with you, father, but to tell you that I’m aware that the company grandfather left you is almost bankrupt. I will overhaul it and try to salvage what I can. I plan to ask Victoria to set a wedding date.” His words came spilling out like water from a faucet. He was afraid that if he didn’t get it all out right away, his words would get stuck in his throat, and his father would know that he was disingenuous.

  “Well, Jackson, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I do know that what ever happened to you made you the man I hoped you would become.”

  “Wherever I was for the last year and whomever I came into contact with had an effect on me.”

  “I just hope it wasn’t a woman,” the senior said, using a spoon to crack a boiled egg that sat on a small silver pedestal. Jackson couldn’t help but watch the ritual his father relished, wondering, Couldn’t he take the damn egg in his hands and peel it?

  “I don’t have much appetite,” the old man said with a grimace. Jackson watched his father’s drooping eyes and mouth, his once-thick hair, now thin and white. Where had the years gone? Was he going to wake up one day and find himself old and full of regrets?

  “Father, I know what I have to do. I accept my position in life. I’m no longer that boy who lived for football and partying. I gave that up the day I was hurt and could no longer play. That was the day I became a man. I realized that life wasn’t about being a football star because when I could no longer be that drunken, carefree jock, my friends left me.”

  “They left you because you were arrogant and an ass.”

  Jackson looked into his father’s eyes and began to laugh.

  “For once I agree with you, dad.” It was the first time in years that Jackson called his father ‘dad.’ It had happened one other time when he was a nine.

  “Well, my boy, come with me to the country club and we can play a round of golf. We can see old friends and you can talk to Victoria’s father. I’ll let it be known that my boy has returned and he’s in charge.”

  ***

  The country club was everything Jackson had remembered and disliked. The club members, who walked around in their yellow sweaters and plaid pants, were a small group of influential men heading billion dollar corporations. Some were as old as his father and a few the age of his grandfather. They rode in golf carts most of the day with drinks in hand and their caddies in tow. It had not changed in the fifty years of its existence and he suspected that it wouldn’t change anytime soon.

  He appeared to be the youngest man in the club. It was because the dues had rose so high that many men his age were waiting for their parents or grandparents to die so they could inherit their positions or at least inherit the money to afford the dues. Nevertheless, Jackson could afford everything that came with being the son and grandson of Jackson Van Hughes.

  His father showed Jackson off to his friends and the younger man was forced to answer uncomfortable questions about where he has been, and what made him walk away from the game; he was pretty much ready to run for his life.

  During lunch and cocktails, Jackson turned to his father. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “What do you mean?” His glance lay on Jackson and then moved around the room to detect if anyone had heard his son.

  The elder Jackson had
boasted about his son taking over his company and marrying Victoria. It was understood that this was a given deal. Marry Victoria, take over the company, and have children. The way Jackson was going, though, there would be no children.

  “Father, I meant that I can’t socialize with men the age of my parents and grandparents. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that this is all there is in life—hanging around on the golf course playing golf, eating and drinking, and controlling others’ lives, and waiting to die.”

  “I’m not saying that you have to do this forever, but these men can teach you something.”

  “Look at them, dad, they can’t teach me anything that surviving a plane crash and blindness hasn’t taught me. I saw death. Which one of them has seen what I’ve seen? I want more.”

  Jackson stood and left, leaving his father sitting and gazing blindly at him leaving the restaurant, walking through the doors, and asking for a taxi.

  ***

  He planned to sell his house with all its furniture and sports cars. He decided he wanted to see the place one more time,where the memories of the girl and the night he spent with her were fresh. Maybe going back there would trigger something. For some unseen reason, he couldn’t remember her name and in his mind he could only bring up a silhouette of her face. Jackson always had ‘summer’ on his lips. Why did he think of summer whenever he tried to visualize the girl whom he fell in love with? It was puzzling to him. Maybe it was the season that he loved that brought back memories.

  Why was it so difficult for him to remember names and faces? He became frustrated. Maybe the doctors missed something, he thought. He decided that he should make time from his busy schedule and see a brain specialist.

  The cab stopped in front of his house. He closed the door, gave the cabbie his fare and tip, then stood looking at his beautiful home. The long winding driveway that led to his home was bordered by lush bushes and flowers. Trees were planted near the house to obscure the view. He remembered that it had a trail to the beach.

  “Why am I thinking of the beach?” he questioned aloud.

  Walking up the steps, he opened the door.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Van Hughes. I was told that you wouldn’t be living here, and I could show the house at will.”

  “Your information was correct, Angela. I wanted to see the house before it was sold.”

  “The couple who is interested is upstairs. They said that they use to come here when they were teens and some of their best memories were in this house.”

  “That was in my younger days. It was a case of youthful indiscretion.”

  “You are still very young, Mr. Van Hughes.”

  “But I feel old, Angela.” And his gaze followed the staircase up to his bedroom.

  “Maybe you’re taking life too seriously. I find when that happens to me, I go somewhere and party. ”

  Jackson’s gaze wandered about the house. It was those words that transformed his thinking. He had been wasting his life searching for a young girl who probably would never remember him, and chasing lost memories of someone he thought he loved.

  He watched as the couple walked hand-in-hand down the staircase. Jackson didn’t recognize them and they didn’t recognize him. At some point, the whole school may have passed through his doors.

  “Mr. Van Hughes, I’ve seen that look before. Let me know if you plan to keep it.”

  “I will, Angela.” Jackson walked around to his enormous garage that held six cars. He chose a Mercedes, tapped the button, and drove away. He drove through the open gate to his father’s home and parked it in the front of the entrance to the mansion. He sat a while and looked around and then stepped out.

  Chapter Eleven

  Summer made her decision; she wouldn’t go back to Houston. She would stay in west Texas in the hopes that soon Adam/ Jackson would be back. In his journal, he had expressed his desire to marry her. She was sure he would find her one day.

  She loved San Francisco. It was filled with good memories and she heard it was a great place for working in the tech field. She hadn’t given up her dream of being a doctor, just delayed it. With a bachelor’s degree and being technology literate, why not go there? She had stayed in Houston longer than she had planned, thinking that Adam/Jackson would come back. But he never did.

  While checking the local papers at the county store for employment and the San Francisco Chronicle online, she found an advertisement for a personal assistant at an oil company. She decided to visit Jane and David’s trailer and tell them of her decision.

  Jane opened the door and invited her in, poured Summer a cup of coffee and placing a small plate containing a piece of pound cake in front of her. They sat and talked.

  “I’m moving to San Francisco.”

  Jane wore a worried glance.

  “I’m going to be okay. I’ve been all over the world and I know how to take care of myself,” Summer said, staring ahead.

  “I wish you could stay here with us. You seemed so happy before with that guy of yours.”

  “I know, but he found his family now and he’s happy. I’m going back where I was the happiest.” Maybe see Jackson one last time, Summer thought. A small smile broke on Summer’s face.

  “I hope you find what you’re looking for dear.” Jane held Summer’s hand like a mother giving her daughter advice. “You’ll be fine,” Jane added, standing and going to a window overlooking a sink of dirty breakfast dishes, then taking one dish at a time and loading it into the dishwasher. After the last dish, she sat at the table with Summer.

  “I wish I was as young as you—then me and Dave would go with you. Take a road trip. I’d like to see San Francisco before I die. But that’s just wishful thinking. We might make the trip there but we would never make it back.” Jane sighed and then a smile crossed her lips.

  Summer realized that if she was going to do something, she had better do it now before

  she became full of regrets, and her regrets piled up like dirty dishes. She was young and she vowed that the only regrets she would have from this day forward would be not trying to connect with Jackson after she moved to Houston.

  After saying goodbye to David and Jane, she packed and purchased a plane ticket to San Francisco. The personal assistant job, if she got it, would come with an apartment. She would figure the rest out later. She had just enough money to last for a month. If something didn’t happen by then, she would be back in west Texas.

  Chapter Twelve

  For Jackson’s company to run smoothly, he needed a very efficient assistant. He spent a month screening people and giving them a chance to show their skills and to demonstrate whether they knew his company well enough to be an asset. He had been through three assistants in less than a month. None of the previous interviews appeared to be the right fit.

  He needed to promote his position as head of the company. His marketing branch of the company would take care of some of his duties, but he had to maintain a presence on specific social websites. That meant having a close connection with the person who would write for him. When he couldn’t answer his followers, his assistant would have to take over and maintain the site.

  ***

  Summer spent the bulk of her remaining money on a round-trip ticket, leaving just enough for food. She would fly to San Francisco and if all went well, she would return to Texas for her car. She could use her home in Texas as a vacation spot.

  She spoke to Tiffany briefly on landing in San Francisco.

  “Tiffany, hello.”

  “Who is this?”

  “It’s Summer.”

  “Who?”

  “Summer from high school.” There was a long silence from Tiffany. “It’s me, you know the girl from the party who Jackson kissed in front of his boys.”

  “Oh shit, it’s you,” Tiffany said finally connecting the name. “What happen to you?” One minute you’re in love with Jackson and afraid that he’ll break your heart, and the next minute you’re breaking his heart. How did
you find me? Don’t answer that, I never left home.” Summer heard a sigh. “Still with my parents. I have to tell you about Jackson. He’s the head of Van Hughes Oil and Gas here in San Francisco,” Tiffany said excited, but her excitement was cut short by Summer.

  “I can’t discuss it now, the plane is landing. I’ll call you after my interview. I have to go,” Summer said rushing to turn off her phone.

  There was so much to do once she arrived in San Francisco. Summer went straight to the interview from the airport. She didn’t have time to think about Jackson. When she applied for a position at Van Hughes Oil and Gas, she never thought any of the companies were Jackson’s because there were three companies with that name in the Bay area.

  Holding her resume in her shaky hands, she sat waiting in the lobby to be called. She didn’t know how long she had been waiting. She should have had breakfast, but there was no time. Her stomach was growling like a hungry lion in the zoo. A man strode passed her and when she looked up, he spoke to the secretary. Then in a cold, dispassionate voice, he said, “Follow me, Ms. Winters.”

  She knew by his tone that she had wasted her time and money to travel so far, and for what? To be told she wasn’t right for the position? And that she had no experience at being a personal assistant to an oil baron?

  What exactly does a personal assistant do, anyway, she asked herself. She should have taken more time to research the company before she flew almost sixteen hundred miles. These thoughts clouded her mind and she couldn’t concentrate on anything. She didn’t see the handsome man in the dark gray pinstriped suit. His gaze was not on her but wandering somewhere beyond her. She didn’t see that he was searching for something to ease his troubled mind.

  Summer trotted behind him into the office.

  “Have a seat, Ms. Winters.” A tall, young, elegantly dressed man with his back to her walked straight to the panoramic window and leaned against it, staring out. “This is a beautiful city. Do you agree?” Summer detected no warmth or vitality in his voice. But she focused on landing the job.