I allowed the kiss to last a few seconds longer than originally intended before I pulled away, my grin widening at her dazed look.
Her face began to turn red as she glanced back at Father who looked shocked versus Mother who was struggling not to laugh her head off.
“I – um – dammit, Ryder!” she cursed, turning in my arms before she began slapping my chest in embarrassment.
I began to laugh, watching her face go completely crimson.
“This isn’t funny! Stop laughing.”
“Yes, it is, your face is beet red,” I pointed out, unable to stop laughing.
Mother joined in as she engaged in the teasing too. “Someone was lost in the spur of the moment.” She giggled.
“Ah! So embarrassing.” She placed her head against my chest in an attempt to hide.
“Definitely a breath of fresh air. Well, seeing all this food is making me hungry. Shall we set breakfast up?” Father announced, a proud smile on his face.
It was a memory I would cherish and had allowed me to let go of the cycles worth of guilt I carried on my shoulders.
I pulled myself out of my thoughts, just in time for the priest to open the magical cage used to hold the doves in place.
We watched them soar into the bright blue sky, standing before Anya's grave as we waited for all of them to disappear from our sight.
Father and Mother thanked the priest, making their way to us— Mother trying to compose herself as she pulled Makoto into a hug.
"I'm very glad you joined us, Makoto," she sniffed.
"It was an honor to take part. Thank you for giving me the chance to pay my respects to Anya and all the joy she brought into your lives," Makoto replied, tightening their embrace.
Father walked to my side, giving me a pat on my back as we watched the women we loved comfort one another.
"She will do great things. No matter what trials both of you may have in store, remember your love for one another and that there's always a solution to anything," he proclaimed.
I nodded. "I will, Father. Thank you for letting me bring her." I meant every word. I appreciated having the woman I loved by my side and hoped Anya could see her best friend who she worked hard to help find before her own kidnapping.
"Of course. She's brought us closer and I give you my blessings when you want to walk that path," he whispered the last part.
I blushed, glancing sideways at Makoto who was smiling with Mother— saying something funny to make my mother giggle.
"I definitely will...ah. Well...I'll have to fight Kai and pray he doesn't use any of those favors on me," I mumbled. Father laughed, patting my back.
"Kai still has favors against all of you? And I guess it's safe for me to assume you all love her."
"We do. It's not going to be easy, but it sure will be worth every hardship we have to face," I vowed.
"Wise words, my son."
"That's thanks to you." I chuckled.
"As long as King Moore has to sit in the back," he whispered.
I rolled my eyes.
"Are you two still mad about whatever happened when you were like teens?" I questioned.
He glanced away, crossing his arms. "Hmph no. I don't like his new wife. Isabella was his best match. I can't speak much since it's been a while since we've talked, but I can tell he hates the situation he's in with his boys," Father admitted, lowering his voice.
I sighed nodding in agreement. "Daniel and Michael will work it out, I think. It would be good if Isabella and her royal daughter Cecelia would butt out," I huffed in anger.
"I think Makoto should work her magic. Is Hope similar to Rose and her confident personality?" Father asked.
I grinned. "To be honest, I have no clue. But, I guess I’ll find out when we head to Heila. I bet once we settle in, the royals from other realms will come and visit. I can pretty much guarantee King Moore will be first," I pointed out.
"Of course. It's a competition between us." Father nodded.
"Your spirits are like cats and dogs."
"You’re one to talk. I'm impressed Stryker and Azriel haven't gone at it yet." Father grinned.
Stryker took control in seconds, frowning. "I still don't like him." Stryker made clear, retreating.
I blinked, shaking my head. "Really? You just took over for that. I'm tired from what you pulled off last night," I grumbled.
"Last night?" Father asked.
I blushed, sliding my hands into my pockets as I looked away. "Nothing."
"Must be nice to be young. At least I don't need to give you a sex talk." He chuckled at my shocked expression.
"Ugh. Father," I complained while he continued laughing.
"Be lucky, son. Down on Earthala, they need protection before having eventful hours of fun." He grinned, leaving me to walk to Mother who was still talking with Makoto.
This is how Makoto feels when we make her embarrassed. Ugh.
"I guess that was him then," Stryker mumbled.
What?
"Uh...when Rose and I were done...um, you know what I'm referring to, Rose was asleep and I was barely awake, but heard someone come in and turn the light off. It felt like Father, but I thought I was dreaming," Stryker confessed.
I could sense his shyness which was a rarity in itself. I groaned.
I'll pretend we never had this discussion.
"Don't even know what you’re talking about," Stryker replied, leaving my mind.
We said farewell to my parents— both of them stating they wanted some alone time and made us promise to have dinner with them.
I never expected to sit around the table with the woman I loved as we laughed and had a casual conversation with my family. Makoto’s curiosity was the perfect icebreaker during breakfast and I knew the rest of our meals would be filled with laughter.
It was the first time in cycles I'd seen my parents so full of life, and it warmed my heart to realize that it was thanks to Mako's presence that lead us to share these happy times together— the guilt and misunderstandings having been dealt with.
Makoto said she'd be right back, wanting to check where Nightmare had run off to and didn't want to summon her just in case she was busy chasing butterflies.
I smiled down at Anya's grave, kneeling down to brush my fingertips along her name on the dark purple marble grave.
"Hey Sis...it's your brother. Another cycle has come and gone, huh. Remember the last cycle I was here complaining about how I doubted this cycle would be any different? Well, a lot happened," I began, smiling.
"We found Rosalina, your best friend, remember? Well, she's Makoto now, but we finally found her. It's been a hectic three rotations with a mixture of good and bad stuff. But, I've grown a whole lot since you saw me. I've gotten stronger and I'm working on being a better leader. Stryker and Azriel have only fought ten times this cycle, which is an improvement from the seventy times last cycle." I chuckled, only now realizing how little we'd fought recently.
"Elias seems to be in some competition with me. I guess I started it, but it's really frustrating. But I finally got some alone time with Mako, so I can't complain. He and EliaseAnne haven't had any major breakdowns. It was hard to watch and feel them when they were recovering in the medical center, but they've improved. Maybe this cycle will be the first for them not having any major meltdowns," I explained, glancing up at the sky.
"Marcus has been in real control of his emotions as of late. Even when he's mad or has nightmares, the chances of him shifting have decreased significantly. I really think Mako's been a help in that department. Did you know her sleepwalking self somehow knows the days he has nightmares? I don't know how she senses it, but the moment I feel his distress, it calms. I've checked on him a few times and each time, there she was, in his arms." I returned my attention to her grave.
"Kai's here in Minato too. He came down so we can head to Heila as a team with our Princess. He's fallen hard for Makoto, yet he tries not to show it. He already has a good chunk of his new sk
etchbook filled with drawings of Mako. I think he's healing slowly. I feel he won't fall into the deep depression of his past. Plus, being with us helps him to ignore what’s going on in Phentailia. Maybe he can even convince his family to let him out of the arranged marriage deal?" I whispered.
"I feel when we reach Heila, a lot is going to happen. I have no doubt that we're going to face some challenges, but I think we'll get through everything just fine. I wish you were here. You and Mako would get along." I bit my lip as a tear fell onto the smooth stone surface. A few more drops followed as I sniffed, trying to stop the tears from falling.
I didn't think I would cry this cycle— not giving myself a chance to mourn for Anya. Even with all the time that had passed, I still missed her.
I felt a hand land on my back, rubbing it soothingly. I glanced over my shoulder to see Makoto with a soft expression. I opened my mouth to say something; anything to make her not worry about me, but the tears continued to roll down my cheek as my shoulders shook. She pulled me into her arms, letting me cry.
I cried for the loss of my baby sister; to never see those dazzling purple eyes that reminded me of Mother or her stubbornness that was just like Father. I missed the times she got upset when I teased her and the evenings where we laughed as we walked home from training. I missed the little moments we shared and hearing her say how much she loved me as her only big brother. I missed Anya dearly and I wished she could see how I'd grown and reunited with the girl I crushed on from the moment we met. I miss you, Anya.
"I'm okay," I whispered, finally pulling out of Mako's hold.
We'd been sitting in front of Anya's grave for some time. I’d lost count of the minutes that had passed as I cried my eyes out. Makoto didn't say much, just held me while I cried, rubbing my back and whispering sweet words of acceptance.
As a male, I always struggled with the stigma that male shifters shouldn't shed tears, especially during our teen cycles. Adding that and my understanding that emotions should have been kept hidden, I never imagined crying in the open.
Anyone could have passed by and seen me broken down at my sister’s grave, yet in Makoto's arms I didn't care. It was a relief to be able to express my feelings instead of hiding in the shadows or within the confinement of my room to mourn my sister.
I knew Father and Mother left to grieve together in the safety of their room. They were unable to get out of the habit, though Mother couldn't help but shed a few tears every cycle. That's why having these private moments seemed so special, and even if it wasn't a time of happiness, Anya's memory always brought us together— regardless of how chaotic life got.
"How are you feeling?" Makoto asked, giving me a concerned look.
"A lot better," I reassured her; my hand caressed her cheek.
She looked exhausted, probably due to yesterday’s stunt with Brittany before Rose and Stryker's eventful night and having woken up early to make breakfast before we headed out was taking a toll on her.
"We should go," I whispered.
"Are you sure? We can stay a bit longer," she assured.
We both rose, brushing off the grass that clung to our attire.
"I think I said everything I needed to," I whispered.
"Ryder."
"Yes, Mako?"
We both stared at Anya's grave.
"What if...Anya is still alive? Like...if she's survived wherever she was all this time," Mako whispered.
I watched as she took a step around Anya's grave which was on the hillside, walking a few steps to stare at the horizon— the view of the castle and main town in sight.
"I don't know. I...I've tried ignoring that possibility," I admitted, eyeing Mako cautiously. I noticed her demeanor change— her aura seemed a lot more vibrant and powerful.
"Is it because you don't believe it or you don't want to?" she questioned.
"I...I'm afraid to believe it," I confined.
"Why?" she pressed.
"Because...if I believe she's alive out there, I'll just hurt all over again when I never get to see her in this lifespan." I didn't understand why Mako was proposing these scenarios.
"What is one thing you've learned about the gods?" she inquired.
I tilted my head, noticing the change in her voice. "Makoto?"
"Answer, Ryder Carter. Future Heir of Minato," she demanded, looking over her shoulder at me.
My eyes widened at her bright pink eyes that glowed vividly.
Stryker entered my mind, staying at the edge if he needed to take over. "Starlight god," Stryker confirmed.
How? Which one?
She smiled, turning to face me.
"Good afternoon, Ryder. You only know my familiar form, but I am Nightmare, Starlight Goddess of Destruction and daughter of Deathpre. A pleasure to meet you in the flesh."
When her introduction registered in my fuzzy brain, I kneeled, bowing my head and lifted my left hand to my chest.
"It's an honor, Starlight Goddess. I'm...surprised," I admitted, feeling nervous.
"Rise star knight. I'm using Makoto as a host, you don't need to be so formal," she urged.
I rose, nodding in approval but couldn't help but stare at Mako's aura which kept alternating from a soft blue to a neon pink. I didn't focus on auras often— usually needing to concentrate to notice them around any shifter or human, but I didn't need to use my magic to see the massive flow of power.
"Um...is there a reason for your gracious appearance, Nightmare?" I asked.
"I wanted to know your opinion." She crossed her arms, waiting for my answer to her previous question.
"I've learned that if you pray to the gods, anything is possible," I said with confidence, having remembered my cycles of knowledge my parents had taught me about the gods.
"Then why have you given up so easily?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.
"I...don't know." I had no excuse.
"Everything that happens in this universe has a purpose. Sometimes, even us gods are unsure of what Mother Galaxy has planned for any of us. But the trials you go through are not a mistake or placed in your path without consideration of your strengths and weaknesses. As a god, I can look at you knowing that your gift will help you become a greater leader and eventually King. I can also see your fear of losing Makoto can be your greatest weakness," she exposed.
I lowered my head.
"Yes. I could see her being my weakness," I agreed.
She sighed. "Lift your head, Ryder," she encouraged.
I followed her order, staring at her soft expression as she smiled.
"Just because the love of your life can be a weakness, doesn't mean it should be frowned upon. But, I want you to begin to work on using your weakness to motivate you to grow. I also advise you to have a little hope in us Starlight gods. I know there will be times where you may think we've abandoned you, but we're always listening. Most importantly, whatever Mother Galaxy has planned, don't give up. You may not see it now, but you and the other star knights will be Mako's strength," she revealed.
"Mako's strength? But...it seems she's our strength and she's more than strong enough to protect herself," I suggested.
"There will be days where we're strong and ready to tackle any obstacle. But there will also be times where we hit the lowest point in our lives and will have to go through challenges one may never expect to have to face more than once. Makoto is very strong and has been through some challenges I'd never wish on my worst enemy. However, if there is a time where she's at a low point, I hope you and the others will be her foundation and love her just as you do now."
I nodded, taking in her words of wisdom. To get advice from a Starlight god was more than a blessing.
"I will work on myself, Nightmare. I'll pray that I can be strong enough to stay by Mako's side and face whatever darkness approaches. I will also hope that if Anya's somewhere out there...we'll meet again one day," I vowed.
She nodded her head in approval. "Good. Now I shall take my leave." She bowed her head.
<
br /> "Wait...will Makoto know you took over?" I asked.
"No. Neither will her spirits. She will feel weak and disoriented since I've stayed longer than was planned. But allow her to rest and she'll be okay. I believe this won't be the last time I take over. Till next time, Ryder Carter," she concluded, closing her eyes.
When she opened them, weak turquoise irises greeted me. She wobbled in place, my body moved forward as I hooked my arm around her waist. I slowly lowered her to the ground, allowing her head to rest against my chest.
"Mako? Baby, you okay?" I asked, shaking her gently.
"I feel really weak. Sorry, did I black out?" she questioned, her voice strained as feelings of confusion hit me.
"Ya. You zoned out for a moment. You must be tired. Let's go back and we can nap till dinner?" I suggested.
"That...would be pleasant. Sorry, I didn't mean to be a burden," she whispered.
I let my hand lift up her chin, giving her a comforting kiss. "Not a burden at all. You've helped me in so many ways in the last two days, Makoto. Thank you," I whispered.
She gave me a weak smile. "I'm glad. You’re welcome," she replied.
"MEW."
We both looked to see Nightmare bouncing toward us, reaching our side in seconds. She jumped onto Mako's lap, climbing up her chest to begin licking her face— her tails glowing a soft gold.
Mako giggled. "Nighty stop, hehehe. I just need a nap, you don't need to waste energy healing me. But thank you." She petted her white fur, Nighty’s tails shifted from gold to pink.
I grinned.
"So Makoto was right," Stryker pointed out.
That her familiar was a Starlight god.
"Yup," Stryker confirmed.
Either she knows and doesn't want us to find out until we need to or she has no idea.
I let my arms hook beneath her, lifting both of them up. Makoto relaxed, laying her head on my chest as her eyes closed. It wasn't long till her breathing slowed, falling asleep in my arms.
I smiled, glancing at Nightmare who nudged herself between Mako's shoulder and neck.
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