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by Ed Nelson


  I didn’t know if I should knock at the door or not, but Mr. Hamilton was there to open it. I wondered how he knew. He led me to a sitting room where Mum and Grand Mum were ensconced along with a lady I presumed to be Grand Mum’s companion. I must say Grand Mum looked a lot better than the last time I saw her.

  We all did the kissy cheek thing and I was introduced to Mrs. Booth who in fact was the new companion. There was something warm about her I liked at once. She was in between Mum and Grand Mum’s age and was probably a looker a long time ago. She was now comfortably settled into middle age.

  A tea cart was wheeled in and the quizzing started. I had to tell about picking the people out of the brush fire, my golf tournament and in general how my travels had gone. The subject of a new car came up. Mum thought I had taken the train to Oxford and a cab to the house.

  When I told her about what I had bought she had to look at it at once. Upon seeing it she held out her hand for the keys. All I can say is my Mum drives like a bat out of hell. She came back to the front of the house in a four-wheel drift. It never moved one bit of gravel. Her only comment was.

  “It will do.”

  At least she gave me the keys back. Mr. Hamilton promptly held out his hand for them. I didn’t know if he intended to take it for a spin or what but handed them to him. Instead, he handed them in turn to a young man standing there. He took the car for a spin. Well, he drove it somewhere behind the house.

  Back inside Mum was telling Grand Mum that boys will be boys and I had bought myself a toy. Grand Mum nodded her head in agreement and told me that I would be taking her for a ride later.

  I could see it now, a slow grand parade around the town. One does what one must do.

  After another round of conversation, Mum brought up that all the books I had requested had been obtained. This surprised me as it was over one hundred books counting the suggested reading. I excused myself to go to the library to see my new treasure.

  And treasure it was. All neatly labeled and put away on shelves. A good many of the books by the yard had disappeared. I asked the ever-present Mr. Hamilton how this had been accomplished so fast.

  “We hired a young lady that is studying at the Bodleian Library to become a Librarian to take care of matters.”

  “Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.”

  I had learned a new bit of English slang, brilliant of me.

  “At your Mum’s direction, she is also obtaining copies of your American library so you have a complete collection here. The copy machine will be here next week. You will find your typing machine in the corner under a cover. Supplies are in this closet.

  As he said this he opened an unobtrusive cupboard door. It was actually a walk into the full-sized room which held office supplies. It was probably better stocked than most supply stores.

  “This is great Mr. Hamilton. Thank you for seeing to this.”

  “Truly our pleasure Sir Richard, after running with a stretched household budget has been a sheer delight to do things properly.”

  “The previous owners had money problems?”

  “Totally skint Sir Richard.”

  “You don’t have to keep calling me Sir Richard.”

  “Your consequence is the households consequence, Sir Richard.”

  It hit me then that the class system was still alive and well in England.

  “As you know I’m from a different background so I will have to get used to my new life.”

  “It is understood and we all wish you well.”

  I made a mental note to learn who all these we were.

  “I think I know where my room is, second-floor turn right and it is the door at the end?”

  “Correct Sir Richard, shall I show you the way.”

  “I can do that on my own, thank you.”

  Man, this is going to take getting used to.

  I managed to find the main staircase and turn right and then went to the end of the hall. My room was actually a small suite. You entered into a nice sitting room with a sofa or divan in front of the fireplace. There was a leather wingback chair and footstool with a lamp on an end table. It just screamed, “Get a book and sit here.”

  In front of a large window overlooking the east side of the house was a small table that had a chair at each corner. I knew which chair would be mine, there is a captain’s chair sat, so one could eat breakfast if one so desired, facing the morning sun.

  By the door if one were leaving the room was a wall-mounted mirror with a stand below, the stand held a new telephone, with the box it came in left beside it.

  A door to the left of the sitting-room opened onto a small office. It had an empty set of bookshelves, an IBM typewriter, a filing cabinet, a wastebasket, and other office paraphernalia. A phone looked newly installed and its box was still there. The desk lamp was really cool. It was like those I had seen in the New York City library reading room.

  Mr. Hamilton had certainly turned from being skint to free-spending once more.

  On the other side of the sitting room was my bedroom. The bed was king-sized and an obvious new addition in a more modern style. A small fireplace graced the far wall. There was a chest of drawers, a floor-length mirror, and nightstands on both sides of the bed. The nightstand had a lamp and a telephone. Again the box had been left. What’s with leaving the boxes?

  There were two doors, one leading to an enormous walk-in closet with many shelves. Most of my clothes had been moved from the hotel in London to here. I loved the slanted shoe rack. My shoes looked great on them, both pairs.

  Lastly was a bathroom with a tub and a separate shower. I had to see about getting the old style shower head changed to one of my models.

  I started to explore the house but then realized that there would be rooms for the staff and I didn’t want to disturb them. I called them staff because I was too American to call them servants.

  Going downstairs I ran into Mum. It was getting close to dinner time and I had to change. Drat, we were expected to dress for dinner. I think Mum was taking this Viscountess bit too seriously.

  Chapter 23

  Early the next morning dressed in blue jeans for work I drove into town to check out my garage. I walked to the nearby Woolworths and bought cleaning supplies. The place needed a dusting and wash. It took me several hours before I felt like I could put a single bed here without getting bugs and whatnot all over me. I had started with the ceiling and then worked my way down the walls.

  I saved the floor for last. I was glad that the room was empty. If there had been furniture I would have had to move it outside or at least downstairs. A sweeping, then a wet mop and the room was livable.

  There really weren’t any bugs but I did find some old mouse droppings so I put a mousetrap on my list to buy the next time I was out. One thing I had noticed while I was out, there were people about my age everywhere. This was going to be fun.

  I stopped at a local furniture store which had a sign for school room furniture. I explained to them what I was looking for. A single bed with a mattress and box springs extra-long, a small armoire, chest of drawers, small table and two chairs, a sitting chair with footstool and end table.

  The sales clerk asked me where it was going. When I told him up above a garage he took me to an area and showed me what was available. The bed wasn’t long enough for me but they had a padded bench which would sit at the foot of the bed to act as an extension.

  He told me I would need an electric fire, what we called a space heater as there would be no heat in the garage. I was also given a list of basic supplies I should have on hand such as towels, dishes, and silverware along with dish soap to wash. I would also need towels to dry the dishes and me and most important of all toilet paper.

  I wasn’t the first college student to walk in the door. I didn’t tell him that I had been all through this when I moved out to California and had my own list in my pocket.

  I paid in cash. Pound notes took some getting used to. When it came to shillings and p
ence I just held out my coins and let them take what they needed. It took a little while but I was able to figure out what tuppence, threepenny and farthings were and how much they were worth. I even knew a crown was five shillings and a florin two shillings. I even was given a sovereign in change which I immediately put away.

  What was really amazing was being given a penny in change and realizing it was minted in 1721 with George the First on it. Old and almost worn to nothing but still in circulation. In the US we hardly even saw Indian Head pennies.

  After carrying a huge bundle of stuff to my garage with a promise of delivery of the rest later in the afternoon I decided to take a bicycle ride around Oxford to get to know the town. The first thing I learned is that their car horns sound different than ours. I learned this by riding on the wrong side of the road.

  When this happened I pulled onto the sidewalk rather than try to cross traffic. Several students standing there made a comment about the dumb Yank. Since they were right I didn’t get upset. I was a dumb Yank, at least on the streets of Oxford.

  I had to walk close to them to keep moving. That is when they realized how big I was. You could see them gulp.

  “You’re right I’m a dumb Yank, a big dumb Yank.”

  I was smiling when I said that and you could see the relief. I wondered what they were used to. Would I have to go around thumping every smart-aleck to fit in?

  “Maybe you aren’t so dumb after all, but really watch the road. You have been on the wrong side all your life now you need to do it correctly.”

  I guess that depends on your point of view. Of course, a ten-ton lorry’s point of view counts more than mine.

  “Thanks for the tip, I really do have to learn and learn quickly.”

  “No problem, do you go to school here?”

  “Starting Monday at Trinity”

  “Oh, we are at Balliol, go join your fellow capitalists.”

  That is when I found out that the current Balliol student population, were a bunch of leftist, socialist and communists. I was glad to be at Trinity as I certainly was a capitalist.

  I think they were kidding on the square about not liking my school.

  Of course, if they were confirmed socialist they weren’t very smart about the real world. I mean socialism is a wonderful idea, it is just a shame that it depends on all people living to an ideal. I had noticed that all people didn’t live to ideals. The KGB came to mind. Oh well their loss, they would get woken up one day to the real world.

  I continued my bike journey around the City of Oxford. I couldn’t believe how beautiful and well maintained it is. Some of these buildings were over six hundred years old and looked like they would stand for another six hundred.

  While Trinity was an all-boys school there were plenty of girls in town. I had read about the all-girls schools of Lady Margret Hall, Somerville, Saint Hilda’s and I knew there were others. I intended to learn about them all.

  While girl watching I also made certain to watch the traffic and what lane I was in. I had enough excitement for one day. I came across a café with seating outside so I stopped and had coffee. This alone made me stand out; all the other customers were having tea.

  There were students coming and going all over the place. Many of them were only a year or two older than me. They didn’t look it to me. The boys looked like boys to me. When I looked into the mirror especially on days I hadn’t shaved and with my Atlantic and Pacific Ocean’s weathered face, I thought I looked older than them.

  I walked around some more especially checking out where the lecture halls were at Trinity. I had classes starting Monday. Walking back to my garage I saw an addition that made sense. I could use a rug to cover the rough wooden floors, why didn’t I think of that before.

  It was rather large, nine by twelve but I could carry it so rather than arrange for a delivery I carried it on my shoulder the block and a half to the garage. I set the carpet down and unlocked the door when an elderly lady called to me.

  “Young man, I say young man I could use some help here.”

  I walked over to her thinking she needed something carried into the house.

  “The front stoop needs painting. I will pay you five pounds and no more.”

  “I don’t know if I have the time.”

  “Oh stuff and feathers, you college students have too much time to get up to mischief and you always need money.”

  She was certainly feisty. Still, I had no desire to paint a porch.

  Then she walked out of the house.

  “Well, that didn’t take you long grandmamma. You said all you had to do was wave some money and some young man would want the work.”

  I didn’t need the money or want the work. I wanted to meet her.

  “Ma’am I would be delighted to paint your porch. Do you have the materials?”

  “Yes I do, just delivered by Marks and Sparks.”

  “Fine, then I will change clothes and start the job. By the way, my name is Richard Jackson.”

  “I’m Sandra Butler and this is my granddaughter Iris.”

  “It is nice to meet you, Mrs. Butler and Miss Iris.”

  Iris said, “You’re an American aren’t you.”

  “Yes, I guess my accent gave me away.”

  Now I had been speaking in my flat Ohio accent, the last was pure Mayfair.

  Iris gave me an evil look.

  “Now I’m confused.”

  “Nothing compares to the confusion that is going through my heart and mind right now oh fair one.”

  “Iris you have to watch this one his tongue is way too smooth.”

  Have I mentioned that she was beautiful? Long blonde hair, blue eyes, pale complexion, and a slender figure, maybe not what I usually fell for but I couldn’t help it. My luck and she would have goose feathers for a brain.

  Iris asked, “Richard what college are you attending.”

  “I start at Trinity on Monday.”

  “That is unusual, most students start at Michaelmas.”

  “I just passed my A-levels and took the SAT’s. An exception was made for my enrollment.”

  “That is why you are living in a garage, no rooms to let.”

  “Well the garage is for the car but I decided the room up above would make a nice getaway during long breaks between classes.”

  “I noticed the auto. That Aston Martin must have cost a packet.”

  “A bit, do you mind if I ask do you go to school here?”

  “I’m at Lady Margret Hall.”

  “You youngsters can flirt on your own time. I need the porch painted today, not next week.”

  “Sorry Mrs. Butler, I will change clothes and get to work right away.”

  One thing I learned on the Pride of Liberia chipping paint that it really paid off to clean the old stuff off first. The porch wasn’t that big and the last paint job not that old so it didn’t take long to scrape the loose paint off first.

  I was just finishing when Iris came out with a can of Coke for me. I stopped and sat on the steps and she joined me.

  “You look like you know how to paint.”

  “I’ve done a few properties that were being updated and I worked on a freighter last year.”

  “Oh, you really are working your way, though the car is confusing the issue.”

  Not wanting to sail under false colors with my newest love I confessed that I didn’t need the money. I didn’t live in the garage, in fact, I lived in a place called The Meadows outside of town. The garage really was for the car as parking was difficult to find.

  “Then why did you tell grandmamma that you would paint the porch.”

  “It seemed the only way to get to know you.”

  Fair English girls really can blush.

  “I’m glad you did.”

  “Well, I have made a commitment I had better get back to work.”

  “Yes, you had Sir Richard.”

  “You recognized me?”

  “I thought I did when I first came out,
grandmamma has a magazine with your picture in it. I can’t wait till after she pays you to tell her. She will be embarrassed to no end but will give her and her friends something to talk about for weeks.”

  “Well, I have been in the entertainment business you know.”

  “Yes, I do know. Are you really going to school here?”

  “Really would you be my native guide.”

  “I would love to.”

  It took me two more hours to finish the job. Mrs. Butler paid me and even gave me a crown tip.

  “As I walked away I could hear Iris saying, “Oh grandmamma look at this picture, do you think?”

  “Do you think that is him, what will your boyfriend say?”

  “Oh, grandmamma I just met him, he is a nice person but not my type of guy.”

  I walked out of hearing but I had heard enough to know my love was done. Maybe Dad was right, there is no sense in hunting for love, it will sneak up on you and hit you right in the heart.

  Oh well, I had made five quid for an afternoons work.

  I changed clothes in the garage and headed back to The Meadows. The first thing I did was ask Mr. Hamilton if we had any form of paint remover in the house. I hadn’t any gloves to wear while painting so it left my hands a mess. He looked at me funny then led me around back to the garage.

  In a little shop to the side of the garage, there were all the tools and materials needed to keep the place up. Of course, some of the paints were so old they were solid in the cans. Looking around I realized some of these chemicals had been here while Victoria was Queen.

  “Can we have the old paints and chemicals hauled to the tip? They are a safety hazard here.”

  “Now that we have the money I will hire a firm to do so.”

  “Make a list of everything that way if we have to match an old color we have a starting point.”

  “I think that has been taken care of Sir Richard.”

  He then proceeded to show me a multi-drawer cabinet with drawings of every room in the house. With each room was a list of each paint color used and a swatch enclosed in cloth to reduce fading. Someone had really been thinking.

 

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