A tear slips down my face and Callum moves. He sits beside me and wraps his arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder. “I wish Mum was here with us.”
“So do I. Ssh, come on. Everything in your life is going to work out the way it’s meant to,” he tells me, but I’m not so sure. “How about I ask Connor to come and stay with me? Give you some space.”
“I don’t know.” I’m not prepared to admit that I enjoy him being here. But now I know he has feelings for me, it seems wrong. I’m being selfish wanting to have him here with me, especially when I’m not sure I have anything to offer him.
Now I feel as though five years ago I made the wrong decision when Donovan and I started dating. The first night I met Connor was my first date with Donovan and, yes, Connor has flirted with me whenever he was around me, but that all stopped when my relationship with Donovan became serious and very public.
Suddenly, my life has gotten a lot more complicated.
Am I strong enough to take everything that life has thrown my way?
“SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING to do about Connor’s premiere?” Julie asks as we sit having lunch in my back garden. It’s another warm day, even though it’s cloudy. The forecast is for rain and a thunderstorm so we’re making the most of it being dry.
“It’s only two days away. I can’t not go. That wouldn’t be fair to him. He’s always been there for me over the years, even if I am only noticing it now. But all this attention I’m receiving at the moment, it’s not what I want.” Sunday’s newspapers and today’s have all run with stories on me. Today’s featured a picture of me and Dad from last night when we went for dinner and the story written was still full of speculation about me and Donovan, which is funny as there is no me and him.
“Ella, this is the lifestyle you chose. You could’ve picked some other career, but you wanted to be an actress. You wanted all the fame, even from a really young age. And do you know what? You are one of the biggest actresses to come out of Scotland. You are up there with the best in the industry and you deserve to be. You are one of a kind with a big heart. And you should be at Connor’s premiere because the world needs to know you aren’t hiding behind closed doors. The big question that I’m sure everyone will be dying to know is will you be on his arm or not?”
“Julie! He’s not asked in that way.” I didn’t sleep well last night. I’d like to put it down to my hangover, but I couldn’t get Connor out of my mind after talking to my brother and then Julie on the phone yesterday afternoon. Julie told me that it was Connor that put me to bed on Saturday night, so I’ve avoided him since I found out. He saw me practically naked.
“And if he did, what would you say?”
I pause, thinking about her question. Would I? I’m not sure. It feels too soon and a massive risk to our friendship. “Julie, you’re putting me on the spot.”
“Yes, but better me than Connor. You know, I’m going to the premiere too.”
“Well, we can go together then?”
“Maybe.” Maybe. What sort of an answer is that from my best friend? “Ella, come on. It’s time to be honest with yourself and put Donovan Bell where he belongs, in the past. Because, let’s face it, that’s what he’s done with your relationship. You and I both know he’s not given you a thought since the day he left.”
She has a point. Even when he was on the phone to Connor, I never heard any regret in his voice about not being here. There was nothing to suggest that he even cared for me.
Julie has been here since nine this morning, when I called her wanting someone to be with me when I decided to finally look through every article that has been written about me and Donovan in all our weeks apart. I needed her and she didn’t hesitate. She’s even helped me in clearing away some pictures of the two of us together and all his belongings are now packed into boxes and in the garage.
I sat reading article after article and, although none of them actually confirmed he has been cheating on me, I know deep within my heart he has. Can I even call it cheating when he turned and walked away? He’s been seen out on the town with a number of actresses, and it seems he and Katherine Hunter are very close. They’ve been seen together on a number of occasions, each time looking cosier than the last. She’s the reason he’s still in L.A and not here. I thought I would be sad at admitting to myself what he’s been doing to me, but in all honesty, I couldn’t care. All the damage has already been done and I’m trying to deal with it and move on.
But I still want answers from him. I need to know why he’s done what he’s done. Dad has hinted that he’s in trouble with some unsavoury characters. Is he doing drugs? Or maybe gambling. Is that why he owes a lot of people money? I shouldn’t be thinking about Donovan. He doesn’t deserve my energy and that’s what I’m wasting every time I think about him.
“I will. I promise. Callum is getting an exclusive interview with me. It will be aired sometime during the week.”
“That’s a start, but have you made up your mind about Donovan?”
“Yes. I know I need to put my story out there but it’s not going to be easy for me. Because to me, it means I’ve fucked up. I’ve let a man walk over me and that isn’t sitting well with me.”
“Ella, you need to stop this. What he’s done is wrong and you know it. He’s committed a crime. More than one. You’ve had to deal with this on your own, but it’s time for you to take back. Yes, you probably won’t get anything from him, but he should pay the price for the crimes he’s committed, and if that means he loses clients, then so be it.”
This is what I’m going to do in my interview. I’m sure it will be easier because it will be my brother asking the questions. He’ll be a bit more understanding than most reporters.
“Come on. Lots of good things are happening too. You’ve got some of the money back in your personal account.”
That’s true. I took a phone call from my bank manager a short time ago, telling me the money was back in my account because I had reported fraudulent activity. With the joint account, there was nothing that could be done because both our names were on it. But I’m already feeling relieved.
“Now, let’s get back to what we were discussing.”
“Okay, I’m going to the premiere of Connor’s movie along with you, Callum, and my dad. And then I’m going to refocus on my career because I need to do that for me. No one else.”
“That sounds like a very good idea.”
Yes, it does, and today almost everything in my life seems clearer. I hear footsteps in the kitchen which means my Dad and Connor are back. Connor had a meeting with Trevor first thing this morning and I hope everything went well for him. Dad and I went to see Trevor last night after our dinner and he is going to be my new agent. I now need to issue a statement breaking all professional ties with Donovan, which I’m sure by now Donovan is expecting.
“Hi, you two,” I say, turning. “How did it go?” I try to avoid looking at Connor because I’m still embarrassed about the fact that it was him who put me to bed. If only I had worn a bra on Saturday night, then he wouldn’t have seen anything.
They sit down. “Well, I have a new agent. It’s costing me to get out of my contract with Donovan, but we already knew that. So, all is good. He should find out today whenever he checks his emails.” Connor looks really happy. I wonder what Donovan will make of this new development. As soon as he opens the email from Trevor, he’ll know that I know what he’s done. I shiver. I just can’t help myself.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Dad asks.
“I need to tell my story before Donovan decides to make up some garbage about me, because, let’s face it, after everything else he’s done, I wouldn’t put it past him.”
Dad picks up his phone and I watch as he types out a message. “You’re right, Ella, you do. I’ve messaged Callum and Trevor. Trevor should be here when you do and I’m sure Callum can fit you into his schedule today.”
“Really?” Today. I’m not sure I can do this.
�
��Yes.” Of course he can. This is my brother.
“Oh, if you’re going to give an exclusive interview, we should go and start preparing,” Julie says. She’s already told me on more than one occasion today how tired I look.
“Dad, will you be here for this too?”
“Yes.” Dad’s phone buzzes in his hand. He looks at the message. “Your brother and a camera man will be here in the next hour and a half. Does that give you time?”
Dad’s question is asked to me, but it’s Julie who answers, “Of course she’ll be ready.” She stands, taking my hand, and pulls me to my feet. Dad laughs with a warm smile and Connor, well, I can’t quite place the look that crosses his face. He looks a little nervous, to be honest.
“If they get here before you come downstairs, which room will I get them to set up in?”
“The front room,” I call out as I’m pulled through the house. Julie is a woman on a mission and not one to be messed with.
“Right, lady. You need to shower, wash your hair, and shave.”
“Excuse me?”
“Legs, underarms, and anywhere else that needs a tidy up.”
I laugh at her. “Because I’m going to be flashing hairy parts of my body to the camera man? Anyway, it’s all done. You do remember we had a night out?”
“Yes, I remember. Now, go and get in that shower and I’ll pick you something comfortable yet sexy to wear.”
I shake my head, leaving her behind. Comfortable and sexy; she’s got to be kidding. I have no idea what the hell she’ll have me wearing, but I’m confident she won’t make me look like a hooker.
“You look perfect,” Julie says, tucking a strand of hair back in place.
“Do you think so?” I look in the mirror. Tight-fitting light blue jeans hug my long lean legs, and a white vest top with a cardigan completes the look. A wee bit of cleavage on show, but the cardigan makes me look relaxed. I hate to admit it, but she’s right. This is an outfit I would probably pick to go shopping; it’s relaxed and comfortable, and teamed with a pair of heels, it looks amazing.
Julie has done a fab job with my hair and make-up. The soft bounce in my hair lifts the look of the subtle make-up.
I don’t know why she doesn’t consider going for a job on a set instead of working in a salon. She’s brilliant at what she does.
“Yes, I think so, and I also know Callum is waiting for you downstairs. Come on. Let’s do this.”
I take a deep breath, square my shoulders back, and leave the bedroom, following Julie downstairs. I hear voices in the front room and, putting a smile on my face, I enter to see my dad, Trevor, Connor, Callum, and Stephen, the camera man. A full house. I’m glad it’s Stephen. Of all the guys Callum works with, he’s the nicest. They stop talking when I enter.
“Don’t stop on my account.”
“It’s okay, sis, we won’t. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Everyone’s eyes are on me, waiting and watching. “Yes. Come on. Let’s get this done.”
“That’s my girl.” Dad kisses me on the head and moves to the other side of the room beside Connor and Julie. Trevor gives me a few instructions and tells me if I’m unsure of any of the questions Callum asks, I’ve just to look at him for direction.
God, I’m nervous. I’ve never been nervous for an interview in my life before.
I sit down and Stephen and Callum start fussing and fluff the cushions around me. When they are satisfied, Callum sits at the other end of the sofa. I risk a glance over the room and Connor looks worried. An unwelcome tension stretches between us and this is my fault because I’ve been avoiding him to a certain extent. We need to sort this out. He smiles and I turn back to Callum.
“Ready?” he asks. I nod. Stephen signals that he’s starting to record. “Ella, thank you for giving us your exclusive interview. So, we are here today, in your home, to bring an end to all the speculation surrounding you and Donovan Bell.”
“Okay, first things first. My relationship with Donovan has been over for the last three months.”
“Why haven’t you spoken up before now? Why leave the showbiz world thinking you were still a couple?”
“Truthfully?” Callum nods and I find myself taking a deep breath. “Because some things have happened that have left me embarrassed. You see, Donovan Bell is a liar and a criminal. He has fraudulently obtained money by re-mortgaging my house and cars, and clearing all my bank accounts.”
“Ella, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now, where does that leave your professional relationship with Donovan Bell?”
“There have been a few issues with my contract. Donovan hasn’t kept up his end of the contract so the contract is nil and void. From today, I have a new agent. Trevor Stephens will be handling business for me. Not only is Trevor a close family friend, but he’s still my father’s agent, so that tells me he’s still one, if not the best in the business.”
My eyes find Trevor and I know I’ve said the right thing; he’s smiling. If I keep my answers short and to the point, I’ll get through this interview.
The interview continues for another half hour and we cover all topics from Donovan to what is next for me. According to Callum, my name has been linked with a new movie in the last two weeks. I couldn’t confirm or deny it as I know nothing about it. Although, I did stress that if anyone watching had sent a script to Donovan, they should now drop an email to Trevor.
We’re just about to wrap up when Callum asks the one question I thought as my brother he would stay clear of. “Ella, the showbiz world will want to know . . . is there another man in your life?”
I silently curse my brother, but find my eyes drifting across the room until they meet Connor’s. This is stupid. Why has he even asked that question? What is he playing at? “Callum, I’m sure you will be one of the first to find out when there is another man in my life and then you have my full permission to share my news with the world.”
Stephen turns the camera off and steps in front of it. “You did great, Ella,” he says, before turning to my brother. I’m relieved that I’ve done it, yet scared at how I will be perceived once it’s aired. As I listen to Stephen and Callum talking, that could be as soon as one of the late shows tonight both here and then in the States. Providing Stephen gets back to the studio now to see if it needs editing.
“Sweetheart, that was perfect. Wasn’t it, Trevor?”
“Yes. Ella, I’ll be in touch with you in a few days once I have negotiated the contract with TV company. Now, Archie, we should get going.” I smile as I think of where they’re going. Since Mum died, Trevor’s wife, Betty, has always cooked for Dad on a Monday night. Actually, she’d probably cook for him and us most nights if we would let her. I give them both a kiss and say goodbye.
“Sis, I’m going to go back to the studio with Stephen and make sure that you’ll be happy with the final edit.” Stephen is all packed up and ready to leave. I thank them although I give my brother a bit of a hard time for his last question. He only shrugs his shoulder, his eyes darting back and forth to Connor before leaving. Why do I get the feeling everyone is trying to push us together?
I stand in the middle of the room and turn toward Connor. Julie is talking to him but he’s not listening. He stands just to the side of the fireplace and his hooded eyes are on me. Suddenly, I have a vision in my head of Christmas. Not one from the past. One where he’s standing where he is with a glass of wine in his hand and there’s no one else in the house but the two of us.
This is crazy.
I pull my drifting thoughts back to the present.
There’s a shift in the air between us. I can no longer avoid him; we have to talk, although from the seductive way he’s looking at me, he doesn’t want to talk, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t want to talk either. His eyes rake boldly over my body, dropping from my eyes to my shoulders then slowly lingering on my breasts.
My heart is pounding in an erratic rhythm deep within my chest. He’s near but yet stil
l feels so far away. My body feels heavy and weak under his intense gaze. An undeniable magnetism is silently building between us, completely unknown to Julie who is still rambling on. She finally stops talking and her eyes dart between us. She takes a few steps toward me and smiles. “I’ll go and leave you to sort this out.”
THIS IS CONNOR, MY FRIEND. The guy with the boy-next-door kinda handsome look. His dark brown hair sits perfectly given the small fact that his hands have drifted through it on more than one occasion during my interview with Callum. His dark eyes are intense. My head has been in turmoil about my growing feelings for him and I don’t know what to do. It’s been made more complicated knowing that, for the last five years, he’s hidden his feelings for me.
We have a friendship, and it works, or so I thought.
Have the last five years of my life that I’ve wasted all been a lie?
I hope not.
I’m hesitant to take the first steps but, in the back of my mind, something is telling me I have to be the one to make the move. He needs and wants to know this is what I want.
What is bringing us together now after all these years? The fact that I’m single may have something to do with it. My thoughts drift back to our very first meeting, and yes, there was no denying I was attracted to him, but who wouldn’t be? If Donovan and I hadn’t got together, Connor is just my type.
Suddenly, moments that we’ve been in each other’s company, dancing at events with his arms securely around my waist, feel like stolen moments in time. Is that what others think? Is that what Donovan thought?
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