The Reluctant Princess

by Raye Morgan

  “And yet, your father…”

  “I can’t be held accountable for what my father did,” he interjected sharply. “I can only offer my own opinions.”

  She nodded. She accepted that. “Bad things happen in wars,” she said, sounding like an automaton.

  “Oh yes, they do indeed. But we invaded Ambria and we got the castle back. It all happened so fast, even we were surprised at how immediate our success was. We came in from the sea and we drove them back and they went.”

  Kim looked down and realized her fingers were trembling. He remembered this as a time of triumph. She remembered the panic, the mad rush to find transportation away from the castle, the way everyone turned on everyone else. She’d been accused of spying for the DeAngelis royals, of all things. There was actually talk of jail time while charges were developed. Instead—Leonardo stepped in. And that was even worse.

  At first, she’d thought he really wanted to help her. What a fool she’d been.

  “And at that time,” Jake was going on, “we thought, well, if it’s this easy, maybe there doesn’t have to be any more killing. Maybe we can do this through talk and negotiation. Maybe it could all be over.”

  Kim’s smile was jaded. She wasn’t that naive. She’d seen too much. “Not in this lifetime.”

  “Maybe not.” He shook his head. “At any rate, it just so happened that I knew Leonardo.”

  “Really?” Yes, he’d mentioned that before. “Where did you meet him?”

  “We were at Eton together, but only for one term. We were rivals in everything from sprinting to debating.” He laughed shortly. “We hated each other even then.”

  “I can imagine.” By now she had curled into a ball of instant misery, but he didn’t seem to notice.

  “But having the advantage of this connection, I tried to contact him. I wanted to help the DeAngelis royals. From my perspective, I find them a fine set of people who want the best for this country.”

  “By ‘this country’, I assume you mean a united Ambria.”

  “Of course.”

  She sniffed and he gave her a look.

  “I sent him messages. He had his man respond, but he didn’t answer himself. Still, I thought we’d developed a line of communication. I offered to meet him in a coffee house on the square in Tristan, just off the Novio marketplace. A fairly neutral area.”

  She nodded. She knew that place. And she was afraid she also knew what was coming next.

  “I told him where I would be sitting and that I would be open to setting a foundation for the beginning of negotiations. I tried to give him a broad opening and a sense that there would be a place for him in the new Ambria if he wanted to lay down arms and join us.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I can just imagine his response to that.”

  “He agreed to meet.”

  She shrugged. Even that was surprising, from what she knew of the man. “But did he actually show up?”

  “No.” He was silent for a long moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was hard and steely. “And here’s the really stupid part. I let my wife and baby come along with me.”

  She sat up, staring at him with her mouth open. “What?”

  “Not into the coffee house,” he explained quickly. “But to the marketplace. Cyrisse had a good friend who ran one of the high-end shops and she went to visit her while I waited for Leonardo.”

  “So you treated this like a day at the mall?” she said, aghast. He couldn’t be this naive. Here she’d thought he was so tough and worldly wise.

  “You had security guards, didn’t you?” she asked, shocked at such casual disregard for human safety.

  The Granvillis were not known for their compassion. In fact, they were pretty much known for murder and mayhem. And she was sure Jake quickly found that out.

  “Of course. And so did my wife.” His groan was more angry than sad. “A lot of good that did.”

  Kim began to get a hint of what was coming and her blood ran cold.

  “Oh no,” she whispered.

  “Yes. I was so stupid. So inexperienced in dealing with evil. I really thought there was a chance we could get together and begin work on restoring Ambria to what it deserved to be. I thought Leonardo would be willing at least to listen.”

  “But no.”

  “No.”

  They were silent for a long moment, each thinking sad thoughts.

  “A little girl?”

  “Yes.”

  “How old was she when…?”

  “Six weeks.”

  “Oh my God. So young.”

  He couldn’t speak for a moment, and when he did, his voice broke often. “So young, so new, so bright, so full of promises…gone in an instant.”

  She waited a moment before she spoke again. “What exactly happened?”

  “They bombed the marketplace. I’m sure they meant to get me, but they were off a bit. They got my life instead and destroyed it in front of my eyes. I suppose, in their view, that was just as good.”

  She nodded, knowing that the people who set the bomb didn’t care. They just wanted mayhem. They wanted blood. They didn’t know much about sitting in a coffee house and having a nice polite discussion about power and who was going to get it. All they knew were weapons and killing.

  “And you blame Leonardo.”

  His was voice was like ground glass. “I want him dead.”

  She nodded. If he only knew how close his sentiments were to her own.

  They sat silently for a few minutes, mulling over what he’d just told her.

  Then he seemed to have himself together again and he turned and looked at her.

  “So now you tell me,” he said, studying her pretty face. “How is it that you ended up with Leonardo? How did you manage to screw up your life to that extent?”

  She looked at him and weighed how much she wanted to tell him. “Okay, here’s how it was,” she started off. “It was right before the invasion began that…that… Well, there was a lot going on in the castle at the time. Leonardo’s father was dying, leaving him in charge, and he had to fight off a lot of other factions who wanted the control and the power that looked up for grabs to them. But Leonardo stuck to his guns and he won out over all the others.”

  “In the meantime, Pellea was gone. She’d left with her father to search for medical help for him in Europe. At least that was the reason she gave when she got permission to leave. But she didn’t come back and soon we heard that she was with Crown Prince Monte.” She winced, remembering that time. “Leonardo went crazy. He’d pretty much forgotten about her while he was in his power struggle, but now that it was over, he wanted her back. He knew he was about to be invaded by Monte’s forces. He couldn’t stand to think the woman who was supposed to have married him was now with his enemy.”

  Jake snorted. “What a loser.”

  She shrugged. “He was insanely jealous at the time, and when he couldn’t have Pellea, he decided…” Did she really want to tell him about this? Oh, why not? He would learn it all eventually. “He decided I would do in her place, at least until he could get his hands on her again.”

  Shock echoed through Jake’s crystal-blue gaze. “What are you saying, Kim? Did he force you…?”

  Her dark eyes were haunted with regrets and memories. “I’m not going to talk about that. Not ever. I’ll just tell you that it was a very difficult situation. And it lasted too long. I wanted desperately to get out of it. I sent letters to anyone I could think of. And when the DeAngelis forces invaded, and so quickly won back the castle, I sent messages to Pellea directly, asking her to intervene and get Leonardo to let me go.”

  “But?”

  She steeled herself. This was one time she wasn’t going to a
llow her voice to break. No emotion. Just the facts. “No one ever came. No one rescued me. No one cared.”

  She didn’t want to think about the details, the days she spent pacing the room where he had her locked away, how desperately she looked through the messages they allowed her to receive, how she prayed and prayed that someone would come. And the nights… Best not to think about them.

  “Did she ever get the messages?”

  She gave him a look. “I sent them with a very trusted envoy. I’m sure she got them. She just didn’t answer. I guess at that point, she was just too busy becoming queen.”

  He frowned. This was something he hadn’t heard about. He was going to have to look into the truth of this. He knew how much his sister loved Kim. He couldn’t imagine that she would have ignored a cry for help from her.

  “So you stayed with Leonardo for an extended period of time.”

  “It seemed like forever.”

  “Did you…love him?”

  “Love him?” She looked almost physically sick. “Love had nothing to do with it.”

  Jake felt a little sick himself. “What did he do to you?” he asked, his voice harsh.

  She avoided his gaze. “I told you that was something I’m not going to talk about.”

  He nodded.

  “I spent a lot of time hoping someone would pay some attention. And then suddenly, the DeAngelis family was back and they were in charge of the castle and everybody on their side was celebrating. They were in all the papers, all the magazines. They were tooting horns and singing songs, and they never seemed to remember that I had ever existed.”

  She took a deep breath. “I felt more than betrayed. I felt erased. Like everything I’d ever done was gone, forgotten, no longer important. Everyone I’d ever loved had just turned their back on me and didn’t care. That I was only important when I was useful.”

  He looked at her, expecting to see tears, but her voice was hard as diamonds and her eyes were dry and filled with anger. He wanted to do something to make her feel better, but what could he possibly do? Maybe get her to look at this in a broader perspective, see it in the larger scheme of things.

  “But Kim, don’t you see?” he tried. “That’s the way it always is in life. People are basically self-centered and see the world through a selfish lens. They often don’t think about others until their own needs have been fulfilled.”

  She gave him a scathing look. “You can say that all you want, and I know it’s often true, but that doesn’t make it any better. It still hurts.”

  He stared at her, at a loss for words. He wanted to grab her and kiss her pain away, but he knew that wasn’t going to work. It might make him feel a whole lot better, but it probably wouldn’t do much for her.

  “Go back to the castle,” he said shortly. “Talk to Pellea. I’m sure you two can work things out. I know how much she cares for you. There has to be some reason.”

  “Forget it.”

  He looked at her, a bit exasperated. “You may not be able to forgive those who have hurt you, but your baby shouldn’t have to pay for that.”

  “Oh no,” she said quickly. “You’re absolutely right.”

  She looked at him, realizing they had left his own heartbreak behind to talk about hers. And really, his was so much worse.

  Gazing at him, she was suddenly filled with a warmth she didn’t expect. Here he was trying to make her feel better. And what had she done for him? She’d criticized his handling of the meeting that had resulted in his beloved family dying. Nice person she was.

  “Jake,” she said, getting his attention. “Stay still.”

  Leaning toward him, she kissed his warm mouth. His lips parted in surprise and she took advantage of him, flicking her tongue inside and teasing him. She heard a growl, deep in his throat, and then he was kissing her back, wrapping her in his arms and leaning her back onto the couch. She began to laugh, and he kissed her harder. He tasted like red wine and he felt like a gladiator, all muscle and hardness. Except for his mouth. And for a moment, she couldn’t get enough of it.

  But they both knew the dangers they were courting, and they drew back easily, laughing in each other’s eyes and pulling away. It was late. They needed sleep.

  But Kim was glad she’d provoked a little romance for the evening. And now she had a kiss to build a dream on.

  CHAPTER NINE

  DEDE woke up early, and that meant that Kim woke up early as well. Kim got up to feed her and play with her, so she had time to think over what had happened the night before. Despite all the stories and experiences they had related to each other, all the emotional turmoil, it all meant little when you got to the bottom line.

  And the bottom line was Dede. She needed to see a real doctor, and that was all that mattered. Kim was resigned. She was going to the castle. Getting the menacing note from Leonardo had put the seal of certainty on it. There was nothing else to do, and no other way left to do it. She would have to face Pellea and all her old friends—the ones who had turned their backs on her.

  But she wouldn’t play their game. She was going to tell them that even if the DNA said she was a DeAngelis, that didn’t make her a princess. She didn’t want to be one. They could put her on the lists and put her picture on the wall and announce her name at balls—but she wouldn’t appear in person. No participation awards for Princess Kimmee. She had other things to do with her life.

  Still, she had to admit, the things Jake had said were eating away at her tough-girl stand. Maybe there were explanations for what had happened. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so quick to decide she’d been left behind because no one cared about her. Maybe her resentment had been simmered in too thick a sauce of self-pity. Just a little.

  She wasn’t really as frightened anymore at the prospect of seeing Leonardo as she had been the night before. Just the thought that he’d been inside her little cottage gave her the creeps, but there was nothing for it but to move on. What was done was done. Time to pick up the pieces and find a new way.

  Oh, who was she trying to kid? She was still terrified that the man would try to take Dede from her. And that was a big part of the reason she’d decided to go to the castle.

  She looked around. She loved her cottage but she was afraid it might be a long time before she would be able to come back to it.

  She had Dede in her highchair and was feeding her creamed peaches when she heard the front door open. She jumped up, her heart in her throat, sure it was Leonardo arriving early. What was she going to do?

  “Hey, anybody here?”

  It was Jake’s voice she heard, and she let the air out of her lungs with a rush, half laughing, half annoyed, but completely filled with relief as she turned to greet him.

  “I thought you were still asleep,” she said, her hand over her heart.

  “I got up early, so I went out in the snow.” His smile was full of mischief. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  “What have you got?” she cried.

  He reached back out the door and brought in a little cone-shaped tree with a wooden base already hammered on.

  “I figured, as this is Dede’s first Christmas, she needed a little Christmas tree. So I went up to the woods and cut her one.”

  It was perfect, a small conifer shaped exactly like what was needed. He set it in on the table and reached into the pockets of his coat, pulling out items he obviously planned for decorations.

  “We have here some red berries I found in bushes growing along the side of the road,” he said. “And some little pine cones that look almost golden. In the right light. And a garland of holly-like vine that was growing down by the stream.”

  “Perfect,” she said, her eyes shining. “I’ll get some yarn to make hangers for them.”

  “And I have o
ne more thing,” he said, reaching back into his pocket. “Just for Dede.” He pulled out a little mechanical Santa Claus, all dressed in red with a big white beard. “Look Dede. What do you think of this?”

  The baby laughed and clapped her hands with delight. Jake made the little Santa dance for her, bringing on peals of laughter.

  “Where did you get that?” Kim asked him, loving the way he made her baby laugh.

  He gave her a sheepish look. “To tell you the truth, I stole it,” he admitted.

  Her jaw fell. “What?”

  “Well, there aren’t too many stores open at this time of the morning.”

  “But to steal it! Where? What did you do?”

  “It was in a yard over near the church.”

  “Right in front of the church you stole something!”

  He was laughing at her and he reached out and touched her golden hair. “Will you listen? It was in a yard, half buried, as though kids had been playing with it yesterday and forgot it when the snow started. So I picked it up and brought it home for Dede to see.”

  “Jake!”

  “I’m taking it back,” he said defensively.

  She had her hands on her hips. “When?”

  He shrugged. “When Dede is tired of it.”

  She was exasperated with him, but still, she started to laugh. “Next thing you know, one of the town elders will be banging on the door, wanting your head on a spike. You can’t do these things in small towns. Someone is bound to have seen you.”

  “Don’t worry. They’ll never connect it with you. I made a lot of maneuvers on my way back here.”

  “Wonderful. I’ll bet you looked guilty as all heck from the lookout area on the town hall bell tower.”

  He gaped at her. “Why would anybody be up there at this time of the morning?”

  “Trust me. Someone saw you. They always do.”

  She began to work on hanging the home-grown ornaments and he watched her, enjoying her ready smile and the way her eyes flashed with humor at the slightest provocation. Was it just the proximity that was making him like her this much? Was it just the heightened excitement of the journey they were on?