The Reluctant Princess

by Raye Morgan

  “She’s here.” He frowned. “She’s in a bit of a fragile state, though. Be gentle. Be kind.”

  Pellea looked insulted. “Am I ever anything else?” Then her gaze sharpened. “Why do you care so much?” she probed, pretty sure she already knew the answer to her question.

  He hesitated and she laughed, her eyes sparkling with delight.

  “Never mind. What I want to know is, has she told you why she wouldn’t come back to us?”

  He nodded, considering just what to say. “She feels betrayed.”

  Pellea frowned. “In what way?”

  “She felt abandoned and forgotten. She reached out and no one responded.”

  Pellea shook her head thoughtfully. “We were trying to get in touch with her the whole time.”

  “You’d better find a way to prove it to her. She’s pretty bitter.”

  “Oh, I hate to think of how hurt she must have been.” Pellea was distressed. “But don’t worry. I think I’ve got some evidence that will convince her.”

  His frown was dark and brooding. “I hope it’s good.”

  “And you?” she asked. “How are you getting along with her?”

  He looked surprised. “Fine. And none of your business.”

  She laughed. “Oh. Good.”

  “Now about the baby,” he said earnestly.

  “Yes. I’ve heard Kimmee is very worried about her, but isn’t sure what is wrong.”

  “Exactly. She’s been searching for a decent pediatrician for months with no luck.”

  Pellea nodded. “I’ve already sent for the best we have. It’s a bit of a struggle, being the holidays and all, but I think I’ve got four who have promised to show up by tomorrow afternoon. If they can’t figure out what’s wrong, we’ll send to the continent.”

  “Great. That will be a big relief to her.”

  “And to you.”

  “But I need to warn you. I’m going to have to go back over to the other side.”

  “Why?”

  “I know where he is.”

  “Who? Leonardo?”

  “Yes.”

  She gripped his arm. “Jake, let the guard take care of it. There’s no reason for you to risk your life.”

  He covered her hand with his own. “Pellea, there’s every reason for me to do it. I have to do it. I’ll go before dawn, the day after Christmas.”

  “At least take a few of the guard with you.”

  He shook his head. “I’ll make better time on my own.” Leaning forward, he kissed her again. “Don’t worry. I’ll be careful. I’ll be safe. And I’ll be back.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  JAKE returned in a few minutes with Dede in his arms and Kim in tow.

  “Here she is.”

  Pellea came forward, her heart beaming from her dark eyes. “Kimmee! Oh my darling Kimmee! I feel like I’ve waited forever for this.”

  Kim was looking a bit stiff, but Pellea ignored that and threw her arms around her. “I’m so glad to see you.”

  “I’m…I’m glad to see you, too.”

  After a few seconds of hesitation, Kim hugged her back, but gingerly. Pellea pulled back to smile into her face.

  “I know you have some resentments and I think we should air them fully right away. We can figure out what caused the misunderstandings and come to grips with them.”

  She hugged her friend again, then stepped back and looked serious.

  “But first I need to tell you a few things. We spent a lot of time away from you, I know. We were on the continent, preparing for the invasion, and that took up all our time. And then there was the wedding.” She looked into Kim’s eyes, shaking her head with regret. “I wanted you in my wedding.”

  Kim blinked, wishing she didn’t still have these feelings of doubt. “But you didn’t send for me.”

  “Kim, I sent a request. In fact, we sent many requests. And every time, the Granvilli government refused. They said you couldn’t be spared. And by then, most of the people I could trust seemed to have disappeared. I couldn’t find anybody to use to get a message to you. We had to go ahead with the wedding without you. I had to have one of Monte’s newfound cousins stand in for you. Look.” She pulled out a beautiful wedding announcement card, printed on fine linen paper and decorated with elaborate calligraphy and showed it to her. There on the face of it she saw “Mandy Kraktus, standing in as Maid of Honor for Kim Guilder.”

  Kimmee stared at the card. She couldn’t deny what it meant. Her eyes were shining when she looked up at Pellea again.

  “Leonardo went insane when he heard you had married Monte,” she told her.

  Pellea shuddered. “So I’ve heard.”

  “And then you invaded and everything went crazy.”

  “Yes. People start to feel like it’s every man for himself and then you don’t know what they’ll do.” She hesitated, then looked at her friend sideways. “They say that you went into hiding with Leonardo.”

  Kim’s short laugh was bitter. “That’s one way to put it, I suppose.”

  Pellea’s eyes flashed and she reached out to take Kim’s hands in hers. “He took you to the chateau, didn’t he?”

  Kim nodded. “Yes.”

  “And kept you there for…”

  Her hands tightened on Pellea’s. “Pellea, believe me, I didn’t go willingly. But I’m not going to talk about what happened there.”

  “Oh, Kimmee…”

  “What he did to me was mostly out of anger, rage, frustration at how he was losing his country. All things being equal, I would have loved to see him punished. But that can never be. Leonardo is my baby’s father. And that is that. If I have my way, she’ll never know even a fraction of what happened. It could only hurt her and scar her life. And I won’t allow that.” She took a deep breath, her gaze steely. “In fact, this is the last time I will ever speak of it. From now on, it’s a lost chapter in my life.”

  Pellea had tears in her eyes and she hugged her friend tightly. “Oh, Kimmee. I’m so, so sorry. But I completely understand you on this and I promise to comply.”

  “Thank you.” Kim looked over her shoulder at where Jake held Dede. He was looking at her with a strange light in his eyes and she blinked, trying to get a fix on it. Suddenly she realized what it was. Sympathy. Compassion. Understanding. And most of all, love.

  Her heart jumped. Was she imagining it? No, there was something in his gaze that seemed to put a protective shield around her. He wanted to keep her safe. She could almost see his determination. She smiled, but he didn’t smile back. Still, the connection between them was strong and real. A certain joy filled her and tears began to threaten again.

  She turned back to Pellea as her friend reached out to touch her cheek lovingly. “How did you get away?” she asked.

  “He got tired of me at last and let me go. He’d found someone else and lost interest in making my life a misery. And I left quickly and never looked back.”

  Pellea nodded, her eyes full of tragedy, but a smile fixed on her face. “Of course.”

  Kim closed her eyes as though putting all that behind her, then opened them again and looked more accusingly.

  “And I want you to know that I sent you letter after letter telling you what was going on. Why didn’t you answer? I would have given anything just for one answer, just to know someone understood.”

  “Kimmee, I didn’t get any of those letters. I had no idea what you were going through until we got back here, and even then it took some time. We’d been back for weeks before one of the maids came to tell me she’d found a stack of letters in a cabinet in the library—letters to me that she thought I should take a look at. Come with me. I’ll show you.”

  Kim followed her
a few doors down the hall to the residential library. Pellea threw open the cabinet to reveal the letters. Only one had even been opened.

  “I wanted to leave them this way so you would see that I never got them.”

  “Oh.” Kim sank into a chair, tears rimming her eyes. “Pellea. And all that time I thought…” She shook her head. “I feel I’ve wronged you terribly.”

  “No, darling. We’re the ones. We were on the edge of invasion and things were so confused and chaotic. What little communication we managed didn’t get through to where you were. We should have known, we should have tried harder.”

  “Hush.” Kim rose and hugged her best friend. “It’s over.” Then her face changed. “But beyond that, all this talk of DNA and my being a princess—tell me it doesn’t mean a thing.”

  Pellea’s beautiful eyes were wide with innocence. “But it’s all true. That’s what’s so amazing.”

  Kim stared at her. Somehow it didn’t seem so ridiculous when Pellea took it seriously.

  “But never mind that now. We can talk about it later. What’s important right now is that you understand how much we all love you.” She kissed her cheek and smiled into her eyes. “And even more important, where’s that little girl of yours? I want to meet her.”

  Jake was holding her and he stepped forward.

  “What a duckling you are!” Pellea cooed, pinching her cheeks gently.

  Pellea had heard all about Dede’s problems. Jake had filled her in.

  “We’ve got four pediatricians coming to see her tomorrow,” she told Kim. “We’ll see what they come up with. Surely at least one of them will know something.”

  Kim choked up. She couldn’t even get out the words to say how grateful she was. Meanwhile Pellea showered Dede with love and admiration, and Jake gave Kim a look that said, “See?”

  Kim did see. A bubble of happiness was growing in her chest, but she wasn’t sure if she dared let it keep on going and fill every corner. She had to keep it contained, a little bit to the side, a little bit safe. She still wasn’t sure she believed all this niceness and love. She had to keep herself just a little bit protected.

  A little later, when she told Jake how she felt, he chided her.

  “Kimmee, would you stop looking a gift horse in the mouth? Of course they love you even more now that they have found out you’re their sister for real. It’s only human. You can’t fault them for that.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “Why do you keep looking for the worm in the apple? I say, bite the apple and don’t look.”

  She smiled. “Okay, Jake. You seem to have all the answers.” She stretched her arms out above her head, feeling suddenly safe and luxurious, all at once. They were in the courtyard garden that was a part of her new chambers, and for the first time in months, she had a feeling things might work out after all. “We’ll do it your way.”

  Dede was asleep. They were sitting on the huge sectional couch that filled one corner of her room. It was late. Jake would be leaving soon for his own rooms. And Kim realized, suddenly, that she didn’t want him to go.

  “Thanks,” she said to him, almost shyly.

  He raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

  “For making me come back here.”

  He reached out and brushed hair back off her cheek, then let his fingers cup her ear. She looked at him, at his crystal-blue eyes, at his dark, slightly wavy hair, at the scrape on his face that was almost healed, at the full, sexy shape of his lips, and she knew what it was like to melt a little.

  He moved toward her and she lifted her face. He kissed her lips softly, once, twice, and then one more time. She closed her eyes and yearned toward him, but he pulled back and the next thing she knew, he was lying on the couch with his head in her lap.

  “How did this happen?” she asked him with a smile, threading her fingers through his thick hair.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Sometimes you’ve just got to do what comes naturally.”

  “Oh no, you don’t,” she said, teasing him. “I prefer a little civilization.”

  “Phony,” he murmured at her.

  She sighed and leaned back, enjoying the feel of him so close, enjoying the night. Was she in love? Was life calming down to the point where she could let herself be? She did love a lot of things about him. She loved that he was such a tough guy, and yet he was never harsh with her. She knew he wanted her. She wanted him. And yet she also knew he would take it easy, wait until she was ready. It all seemed so right.

  And yet…

  There was one ugly obstacle to everything and it was huge. Leonardo. She knew how he felt about the man. She felt the same way. But she also knew he couldn’t get past it. There were feelings in him that he couldn’t seem to get beyond. And that might mean they would never be able to get together the way they both might want to.

  They talked softly for another half hour, and then it was time for him to leave. They lingered at the big wooden gate. His good-night kiss went on and on, until they were both out of breath and clinging together as though they couldn’t bear to be apart. And when he finally left, Kim missed him before he even disappeared from sight.

  Christmas was a lovely day with celebrations in the chapel and a feast in the main hall. There was a dance and plays performed and an old-fashioned jousting tournament. But through it all, Kim was anticipating the afternoon when the pediatricians were due to arrive. And though she enjoyed the festivities and soaked up Jake’s growing signs of affection like a kitten in the sun, her focus was Dede.

  At one point, Pellea took her into the library again to show her the documentation on the DNA evidence.

  “There’s no getting around it, Kim. It’s all here in black and white.”

  “I don’t get it. I never had a moment’s doubt that Lady Constance was my mother.”

  “Then she did her job well.” Pellea took her hand. “It was all done for your benefit, you know. They were all so afraid the Granvillis would kill you if they knew.”

  “Okay, tell me how you know that. How do you know what they were thinking at the time?”

  She shrugged. “We have Queen Elineas’ diary. She wrote it all down in her own hand.”

  “You mean…?”

  “This was found a few months ago when tearing down a wall near what was the burned-out area from the original invasion. A worker found the diary in a small hiding place. You’ll have to read it.”

  What a treasure! “I plan to.”

  “The queen tells of how she kept her pregnancy a secret, then enlisted Lady Constance to help her hide you. She was so afraid all her other children would be killed. She wanted one to carry on the name. And she thought that one might be you.”

  “Poor lady,” Kim murmured. She wished she could feel closer, emotionally, to the old queen who might possibly be her real mother. But a lifetime of propaganda was hard to dispel so quickly.

  “Indeed. Read the diary. I think you’ll start to appreciate being a part of this family.” She gave her an impish grin. “I know I have.”

  And she left, on to other duties, just being a queen. And Kim stayed and did some reading.

  But finally she was in the examination room with Dede while four physicians in white coats nodded gravely over her child and began to confer. Jake had come with her. She held his hand tightly and thought about how much his support was beginning to mean to her.

  There were tests, tests and more tests for Dede. They needed to check internal organs and for that she had to be sedated. Kim didn’t like it, but she gave permission. Then she had to leave her baby, which was very hard, and Jake took her away to have lunch in her courtyard. Pellea stopped by for a quick visit, and so did a couple of other friends from the old days. But her heart was with her child. It was late in the afterno
on when they let her see her baby again.

  And then, the verdict.

  “Your baby has a low-grade infection and has had it for some time. It was perceptive of you to realize it was different from the normal baby complaints. It would have been better to start treatment long since, but all we can deal with is what we have before us. Ordinarily, we would check her into the hospital for a ten-day period of controlled antibiotics. But since you have such appropriate facilities in your living compound, we should be able to attend to her right here in the castle. With constant professional oversight, of course.”

  Kim’s head was spinning.

  “Don’t worry,” the pediatrician told her kindly. “This is eminently treatable. Left alone, it could prove debilitating in time. But you’ve brought her in and we’re going to get to work on it. She’ll be fine in no time at all.”

  Relief flooded her body and she hugged Jake as the doctor left the room.

  She had to leave Dede in recovery for now. She and Jake took a walk around the viewing level and talked softly, first about Dede, then about Kim’s reaction to Pellea, and finally, about Jake’s plans.

  “I’m so glad you’ve been here to help me through all this,” she told him. “I can’t thank you enough.”

  He was silent for a moment, then he said, “Then I’d better warn you. I’m going away for a few days.”

  She turned in horror. “What? Why?”

  “I have something I have to do and I…”

  Her blood ran cold. “You’re going to find Leonardo, aren’t you?”

  He took a deep breath. “Yes.”

  This was what she’d been dreading, even though she hadn’t let herself focus fully on it. This was how the past could reach out and ruin things in the future. It wasn’t fair. It made her want to scream.

  “Jake, I hope you understand,” she said carefully. “If you kill Dede’s father, we can never be together.”

  The truth of that statement seemed to resonate in the cold air. And the central situation was starkly clear. Kim wanted Jake. She’d never known a man who seemed so right, so real for her.