“Should we be here? What if they come home?”
“Leo’s not allowed to leave the club until further notice. No one will bother us here tonight.”
The first raindrop falls and lands on my shoulder and then the heavens opens and we’re rushing to the porch and we’re standing under the shelter.
A crack of lightening lights up the shadows around the cabin as Zach unlocks the door and I don’t care that we’re entering someone else’s home. It’s not like they’re strangers to him, she’s his sister.
Taking hold of my hand, he pulls me inside with him and he closes the door on the heavy rain assaulting the cabin.
“I think you got wet in the rain,” Zach says, backing us up into the living room.
“I felt one splash,” I say, confused.
“I’m pretty sure you need to take your dress off.”
A cold hunger takes over him and I catch on to what he’s getting at. Dropping one strap from my shoulder, the second follows suit and the fabric covering my body floats to the floor.
“Are you going to rush out of here when we’re done,” he asks, keeping his distance.
“I came here on your bike, I won’t be rushing anywhere, Zach. Are you going to leave me standing here in my underwear?”
I want to cross my arms over my chest, but I stop myself from doing so.
“You know what I mean, Nina. The last time we did this-” he says, flicking his finger between us, “-You kicked me out and told me we were a one-time thing.”
“Is this payback then? Did you bring me out to the middle of nowhere just to get me naked and do nothing about it?”
He steps closer but stops two feet away from me.
“I want to be clear about this. I don’t have the head space to work out what you want from me.”
“Right now, I just want you.”
Or I’m going home. He has three seconds to move this along or I’m putting my dress back on and calling a cab.
With a second to spare, he’s closed the gap between us and winding his arms around me.
The rain is coming down harder and I soak in the chilled atmosphere around us. Zach lit the fire a couple of hours ago and found a bunch of blankets in one of the upstairs cupboards. The heat hits my arms and Zach’s cheek is warm to touch as I run my finger along his jawline.
“Tell me one thing about you that no one else knows.”
I run my fingers up his cheek and up through his hair, scraping my nails over his scalp, he closes his eyes and relaxes between my legs.
“I’m lost, and I don’t know how to find myself again.”
“Perhaps you’re meant to say goodbye to him and be who you are now.”
“Maybe, but I don’t know who that is either,” he admits.
“You’re lucky you found me then,” I smile, and he lifts his head.
“I’m starting to believe that.”
Rolling onto his front, he climbs up my body, leaning on the cushions around us.
“I don’t like losing what I find,” he growls, nipping at my neck.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
And I mean every word.
Zachery
PAST
This room has been my sanctuary for as long as I can remember. It didn’t matter how long my school day was or how many nights we stayed at the club, every time I stepped into my bedroom I was home. It was like a second skin to me; every inch was of my design.
Not anymore, now it’s suffocating. The four walls don’t appear as a sanctuary, they are simply walls shrouded in false appearances. It’s all a lie. It makes my skin crawl to think they played happy families around me while I hid away in here. I came back to talk but now I’m here, I’m not feeling it.
“Zach?”
She calls through the door before she pounds her fist on it.
“Please open up, I know you’re in there. I heard you come in.”
Storming across the room, I throw open the lock and yank the door open. She’s been crying again, but they are not sad tears she sheds, they’re tears of guilt. It’s a little insulting she’s pretending, I’d rather she just be honest with me.
“What?” I shrug, lifting one shoulder.
“Come downstairs, we need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you, I wouldn’t trust a word out of your mouth,” I sneer, unable to stop myself.
This woman gave birth to me and for what, to make her life complete or some shit. She’s fucked my life with her lies and her need to maintain her perfect little life.
“Of course you can trust me, don’t be so absurd, Zachery. I’m your mom, and I always will be.”
“But Slade isn’t my dad, is he? He never fucking was, you were all playing house because you had no other choice.”
“That’s not true,” she gasps. “My choices were always to protect you and to give you the best life I could.”
“Lies bring nothing but pain, and I’m done. You, Slade and Indie can all live here, and be your best version of perfection. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, isn’t it, mom?”
Tears pool in her eyes and it does nothing to me.
“You’re my perfection,” she sighs and steps into my room.
Backing up, I remember this isn’t my sanctuary anymore. I should have moved out a while ago, but I didn’t because I liked being here. Not anymore. Shoving my boots on, I pull out an old holdall from under the bed and throw my shit in it.
“Where are you going?” she shrieks, pulling on my arm.
She snatches the bag from me and out of the little respect I have left for her, I don’t react and snatch it back.
“I’m not doing this. I’m saving you the trouble of having to explain it all again, give me the bag back.”
She shoves it behind her and sets her jaw tight.
“You’re not leaving.”
“Let’s face it, it’s time I left anyway.”
“Where will you go? Oh, to the club,” she says, coming to her own conclusion. “I don’t want you living there, I want you here or we can…”
“We can what? What? You’ll arrange my life to suit yours once again. You chose to be with Slade, you chose this town for us to settle down and you chose that I would call him dad under the pretence that you all knew he wasn’t. He was your choice, but did you ever think what my choice might have been?”
She has nothing to say now, and she drops my bag to the floor.
“He’s been good to us, to you. He’s never let us down and he’s given you everything from a good life to his time whenever you’ve needed it. Don’t be blinded by the pain you’re feeling now. Sticking together as a family is how we’ll get through this.”
Shoving the last of my things in the bag, I reach for my keys but mom gets there first.
“At least wait for your dad to get home, he’s on his way, he should be here soon.”
“Oh, he’s risen from the dead has he? I wonder how long it’ll take him to walk from the local cemetery?”
Her hand is a blur as it slices through the air and stings my cheek after a sharp slap.
She has not once struck India or I, she much preferred to take our things away as punishments as kids. This is new, and she immediately regrets it. It’s written all over her face.
“Don’t disrespect the dead, Billy isn’t walking anywhere and just because you didn’t know him, doesn’t mean you can speak like that. Slade is your dad and he chose to be because he loves us, we are his family, the same as we are yours. It will never change. If you want to go, you go, but no matter how much distance you put between us, the patch you wear keeps you bound to this town and by god, I won’t let you go any further.”
Whatever.
Brushing past her, I don’t say another word and jog down the stairs to find India sat on the bottom step. I come to a stop as she stands but she doesn’t move out of my way.
“Please don’t go away,” she pleads, and I push past her.
“Stay out of it, India.”
I reach the front door as it opens, and Slade blocks the exit. He’s quick to grip onto my chin and scans my cheek. Mom must have left a mark, it sure fucking feels like she did.
“You do this, Indie?” he growls, and she tuts.
“No, him and mom were fighting. He’s trying to leave.”
I’m not trying to leave. I am leaving.
“I can see that,” he says, letting go of my face. “Are you going to the club?” he asks.
“Like I have anywhere else to go.”
He moves to the side and I don’t waste a second, I leave the house listening to India kicking off.
“Dad! You can’t let him leave.”
“It’s not your business, India McCarthy. Get inside,” he barks at her and it’s the first time I’ve heard him admonish his princess.
“He won’t ever come back if you let him go, you know that, don’t you?” she tells him, not caring that she’s pissing him off.
She never does, and she can get away with it. I would have been sent to my room by now, but not her, never her. This is my fight, I don’t need her in my corner. I stop and turn around.
“Do as he tells you,” I grunt and she scowls at me.
“You do as he says,” she throws at me and it’s my turn to scowl at her.
“I’m not his kid, I don’t have to.”
“You’re acting like a child,” she spits and then Slade stands between us.
“If you’re going, go, but this isn’t finished. I’ll be by the club tonight.”
He takes India by her arm and they walk inside as she argues with him and then the door closes, shutting me out, just how it feels inside.
Pushing my arms through the bag straps, I climb on my bike and bring it to life. Slade is back on the doorstep and mom is at the window. I can’t bring myself to feel anything for them. As I pull away, Slade puts his phone to his ear, no doubt calling a brother at the club to keep an eye out for me.
The brother Slade called must’ve have been Sparky because he’s the one waiting for me when I ride through the gates to the club.
He comes over as I kill the engine and slaps me on the back. This man knew the truth about my parentage and he said nothing, I know it’s not his place to, but no one said nothing, not even hinted about it. They patched me in, all the while keeping their mouths closed as to the man who never got his patch.
“Your dad’s been on the phone, he’s asked that I make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I grunt, climbing off my bike.
“You should have been here half hour ago, where did you stop off at?” he asks, and I know he knows already.
“I stopped to get a smoke, and now I’m going to find a room where I can stay for a while and get high.”
He cares because he’s close with my…with Slade, but he’d rather be with his old lady. Bonnie is his life, and everyone fucking knows it.
“You’re holding a lot of anger, Zachery, and it’s not good for the soul. You smoke your shit and while you’re off up in the clouds, you think seriously about what your life has been because of Slade, and then you drag your ass back home and life will be all roses and fucking glory. Don’t make me regret going home and leaving you here, hopefully your momma hasn’t given you a concussion with that slap.”
I flip up my middle finger and he laughs, walking away and leaving me the hell alone.
“Oh, room two is empty. It’s yours for as long as you need it, but hopefully you don’t need it for long.”
I doubt I’ll ever go home now. If I don’t go back there, I’ll be getting my own place. Maybe then I’ll be able to get some peace and quiet.
Inside the bar, I go up and dump my bag in room two and grab the key from the bedside table before jogging back down to the bar. I perch on the end bar stool and slam my hand down the wooden bar top, demanding the prospects attention.
He finishes what ever the hell he is doing and comes over, already reaching for the tequila bottle behind him.
He shoves a shot glass in front of me and pours the first of many drinks. The sharp alcohol works fast and clouds my mind and all I achieve is making myself sick. I open my eyes and I’m in the bathroom and hovering over the toilet. When the fuck did I get here?
Yanking on the chain, I haul myself up and splash cold water on my face before looking up into the mirror.
I look like shit and I feel even worse. Stumbling outside, I fall onto an old chair and light up a smoke. That’s what I originally came to do and was side-tracked with tequila.
I no longer feel nauseated when the weed hits my system. I relax and kick my feet up on the rickety boxes someone’s left out here.
For tonight at least, fuck the world and everyone in it.
She lays so still when she sleeps, it must be nice to own such inner peace. I keep forgetting her mom died last month, she hides her grief so well from everyone I think she’s hidden it from herself too.
Her lips are slightly swollen from my kisses and her cheeks are a nice pink hue. If it’s possible, I think I’ve fucked her into heaven. I smile at my own ego and know she is bringing this out of me. My smiles, and my goofy ass attitude. I can’t remember the last time I felt so alive and happy to be here on earth.
With a swift shift in her breathing, her eyes flutter open and then she’s stretching. She becomes alert when she sees she’s not at home but still at the cabin and then her gaze rests on me and she grins.
“Were you watching me?”
“Yes.”
I don’t bother to lie.
“Creep.”
“Too fucking right.”
“Good morning.”
“Good morning. What’s the time?” she asks, looking around for a clock.
“What are your plans for today?” I ask instead of answering her.
“I have to figure out what I’m doing with my life.”
“How’s that been going so far?”
“So far? I’ve been having sex with you instead of sorting out my house back in Salt Bay and I’m yet to speak with my mom’s landlord.”
“Do you have to do that today, or can it wait another day?”
“Why? What do you have in mind?”
Skimming the tips of my fingers across her back, she shivers from the touch and closes her eyes.
“Spend the day with me and I’ll make sure you figure your life out tomorrow.”
“I think you’re too distracting for me, what if I just want to have sex with you all day tomorrow?”
Her eyes are still closed but her lips are spreading wide into a strikingly beautiful smile.
“Then I will fuck you and be a distraction any time you god damn want.”
The hunger in my voice is evident to the both of us and I don’t care if she hears it. I’m hungry for her and I’ll fuck her any time she needs me.
“Do you plan on having sex with me all day today?”
“To be honest, I have no idea what we’re going to do apart from you not leaving my side, that’s how far I’ve got.”
“You must have been distracted watching me sleep.”
“Yeah, must have been that.”
She lays beside so still and peacefully, I almost start to believe she’s fallen back to sleep. Keeping her eyes closed, she says, “I like sex with you.”
“Yeah, I like sex with you too,” I chuckle.
It didn’t take long to fix up our mess in the cabin and get dressed. A part of me is silently sending Leo the middle finger, he’ll return home at some point and never know I’ve been fucking Nina where he watches TV, where he eats his food in the kitchen and where he takes his showers.
We rode into town and to her place so she could change before going to the club to pick her car up.
Nothing was out of place, no one was snooping through her windows, everything was still and quiet.
I held her hand on the short walk from my bike to her front door and only let her go when she needed both h
ands to search for her key in her bag. The thing was tiny, I really don’t understand how it took so long for her to lay hands on the key.
“Is it always like that on your bike?”
I don’t have to ask her to explain, I know what she’s talking about. Slade first taught me how to ride when I was nine, much to my mom’s horror.
At the back of the clubhouse, the land that is never used, Leo, JJ and I learned how to ride during summers and when we all grew older, our fathers spent hours and days working on our bikes with us.
Which is why I knew how much me smashing Leo’s bike up would’ve hurt him. I know how it would’ve hurt me if anyone touched my bike with a bat.
“Yeah, it is. Go get changed and we’ll get out of here.”
I help myself to a bottle of water from her fridge and my phone vibrates in my pocket with a message.
Digging it out, I’m not bothered who it is because I’m already with Nina. It turns out, it’s from India and she’s warning me Cas and Slade are pissed I left last night alone. I feel bad for Cas because he’s sick, so I’ll take his ass kicking and not argue with him.
I’m about to put the phone away when it goes off again. This time JJ is sending me a message. I pull the conversation up and he’s letting me know Harper is all good and they’re doing okay.
I type back, like I give a fuck, and smile knowing he’ll call me a prick and his attention will fall on Harper within seconds. Leo gets pissed when I’m a prick to him, but JJ takes it on the chin, not giving a fuck. Another message comes through and it’s the middle finger emoji and this time, I smile.
Be safe, brother, I text back and slide my phone back in my pocket. Twisting the cap off the water bottle, I throw back half the water down my neck.
“Zach?”
The water settles uneasy in my stomach hearing the wary warning in her tone. I’m moving through her house and find her standing in front of her dresser in her bedroom.
“What’s up?” I ask, not seeing anything that would worry her.
“Did you somehow manage to get me flowers and hide them and then put them in here?”
His Ride or Die : Sons of Lost Souls MC Book Three Page 11