by R H Tucker
“Eight thousand dollars!” she screams.
“It’s not that much,” I try to counter.
“How can you say it’s not that much? Eight thous—”
“Z, there was stuff in there that costs three times as much. This thing was a bargain.”
“No.” She shakes her hands and reaches for the pendant. “No, I can’t accept this. Derrik, that’s too much. I can’t—”
I reach over, putting my hand over hers. “Please.”
She looks up at me, her face distraught with unease. She needs to know I didn’t get her the necklace because of the price. I didn’t set out to find something expensive to prove anything to her. I saw it and thought it was gorgeous, and it reminded me of her. She needs to know all of that.
But the words escape me. Right now, sitting next to her, my hand on top of her, I lean closer. My eyes move from our hands to her lips and then her eyes. The mocha brown eyes that I’ve never been able to forget or find in anyone else. I lean closer and want to kiss her. This is it. Tonight, we’ll finally get everything out in the open. I’ll tell her why she was the last girl I kissed, and why I want her to be the last one I’ll ever kiss again.
Raising my hand, I run my fingers along her jaw, then through her chestnut hair. We’re inches away from our lips meeting. I feel her breath against my chin and my heart racing. Just as my eyes close, a knock at the door jolts us both. She jerks her head back, and her eyes flash over to the doorway. I let out a long breath, keeping my eyes on her.
Another knock at the door and she gets up from her couch, walking over to it.
“Oh, hey,” she says behind me.
“Hey,” I hear Becca reply.
I turn around and see Becca walk into the room, who then sees me. She looks back at Zoey. “I can come back.”
“No.” Zoey shakes her head. “It’s okay.”
I gape at Zoey. Seriously? Is that it? Zoey looks back at me, then gazes at the carpet in the suite. “Can you give us a minute, Derrik?” she asks, keeping her eyes on the ground.
I stay where I am. I have no clue what’s happening here. I thought we were just having a moment. Or about to. Looking over at Becca, I realize she offers no help. They both seem uncomfortable, and I don’t have a clue why.
“Uh … yeah. Sure,” I finally reply and get up from the couch.
Walking over to the door, there’s a small sliver of hope inside that whatever’s going on and whatever they need to talk about, that I’ll still have an opening later. It’s not super late. We still have time to talk later tonight. Unfortunately, the hope is instantly demolished when I open the door just as Danica opens hers.
“What are you doing in there?” she asks.
“Nothing,” I reply, and it stings. “Just … hanging out.”
“I was just gonna knock on your door. Did you know Maddox is deejaying at a club tonight?” I nod. “Come on, let’s go party with him!” She hurries over to me, grabbing my arm.
I look back into the room. Becca keeps her eyes to the floor, and Zoey looks at me, offering a small, defeated smile. “Yeah. Okay,” I answer Danica.
14
Zoey
“Did you know Maddox is deejaying at a club tonight?” I hear Danica ask Derrik while he stands in the doorway. He nods. “Come on, let’s go party with him!”
Hurrying into my view, Danica grabs his arm, almost in the same giddy way the girl did earlier today when she took a picture with Jade. Derrik looks over at me, and I smile. What else am I supposed to do?
“Yeah. Okay,” he answers, still keeping my gaze.
Danica pulls him out into the hallway, and as my door shuts, I make eye contact with her. If I’m not mistaken, she’s scowling. If it’s not a scowl, it’s definitely a look of annoyance. I don’t know if she knows the history I have with Derrik; he probably hasn’t mentioned it to her. Or maybe he has, I don’t know. What I do know is she just saw him coming out of my room. It doesn’t matter if Becca is in here now, I’ve seen girls try to mark their territory in school. She’s definitely going to be doing that now, even if she only has a hint of something between us. Maybe that’s for the best.
Becca heads over to the couch and falls down on it. Trying to focus on the matter at hand, I take a seat on the other end of the sofa, folding my legs under me. I still can’t believe I called her a bitch earlier today. But she was right, I did mean it.
She’s just been so pushy about Derrik and me, and I guess it’s been building. I probably should’ve had the talk I had with Jade with her a long time ago. She’s my best friend, I should’ve at least told her my concerns. But I didn’t. I kept it all bottled inside.
“Where were you?” I finally ask. Ever since she left the coffee shop, she’s been ignoring me. She replied to Jade after a while, so at least we knew she was okay.
“Did you know that Portland has a labradorite statue near Hawthorne Bridge?”
“Oh.” I stare at her, unsure what I’m supposed to do with that information.
“Yeah.” She nods. “Apparently it was made over a hundred years ago. The story goes, two sisters worked on it. It was supposed to resemble a fish. But they got into an argument over something, and one of them smashed it in the middle of the night. It was already half the size of a car, though, so the city left it there, unfinished. Neither of the sisters ever went back to finish it, and they were never paid for it. It’s a shame. If one of them would’ve just apologized, they could’ve finished it, but no. They never spoke again, and now there’s this thing in Portland that people wander over to, and it’s become a huge spectacle.”
I’m pretty sure she’s being passive-aggressive the only way Becca knows how, but I go with it. “Well … I mean, it’d have to be a pretty big issue to just throw a relationship like that away.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “But who does that? Talk about issues. If someone’s gonna flip out on someone else, you might want to have all your screws in place first.”
The shot does not go unnoticed. “You can’t say one was crazy. People have issues, Becca. You can’t fault them for that. And you really shouldn’t push your agenda on someone else.” Pausing, I bite my lip nervously and then try to connect it to the story. “I mean, the sister should’ve seen the other one’s point of view.”
“Who says she didn’t?”
“The entire thing!” I blurt out, getting to my feet. “You said they got in an argument and the other just went off. Then smashed the statue! Who knows what was really going on in her mind? She can’t read her sister’s mind!”
“She doesn’t have to!” Becca yells back at me, getting to her own feet. “If it was that important, and they were that close, she should’ve told her.”
“Sometimes it’s not that easy! You agree with what they might be saying, but you know it’s not going to work. Just because it’s something you want and something you think would be amazing, doesn’t mean the person in the actual situation feels the same. You don’t know what’s going through my mind.”
“Then, why didn’t you tell me?”
“How could I?” I yell back at her. “You were always going on and on about Derrik this and Derrik that. About how we went out and about the times we double-dated. And you always, always, tease me about Landon. You think I don’t feel bad about not being head over heels for him? I do! I want to be. But that doesn’t mean I dislike him either. He’s good.”
“How can you say—”
“Becca!” I throw my hands in the air, feeling wholly overcome with annoyance and shock. “I’m sorry if you think he’s going to do the same to me that he did to his ex. I’m sorry that you’re the one who can’t get over it. And I’m sorry that you can’t see how I really do believe him and I’m giving him the chance to prove what he did was a mistake. Okay?”
“But you don’t love him!”
“Says who?”
“You!”
I fold my arms over my chest. “I’ve never said that.”
“Not
with your words, Zoey. With your actions. With everything you don’t say, you say it.” I want to reply and counter her argument, but I can’t. And she knows it. “I’ve seen you two together. You seem more like brother and sister than you do boyfriend and girlfriend. And if I’m completely honest, I don’t even blame that on him.”
Her honesty shakes me. Taking a seat back on the couch, I wrap my arms around myself.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t blame the fact that you two seem like siblings with not a hint of romantic spark there on him. It’s you, Zoey. That’s why I know you’re not in love with him. You smile quietly. You laugh at his jokes that aren’t funny. When he calls or texts, sometimes you ignore them.”
Her words hit a new round of emotions inside. Everything she’s said is true, and I feel guilty about all of it.
“Tell me; take everything off of the table about Derrik and being in the band and being the stupid King of Hearts. Tell me to my face that you’ve felt an ounce of what you felt with Derrik with Landon. You can’t. That’s how I know.”
Silence falls around us. I keep my head low, between my shoulders. Picking at the couch cushion, I can’t bring myself to look at her, even as the cushion dips, and she takes a seat next to me. Reaching over, she grabs my hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“Don’t be.” I shake my head and hold on to her hand like it’s a life raft, and if I let go, I’ll be lost in this sea of emotions. “You’re right. And I’m the one who called you a bitch earlier. Becca, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”
“I understand why you did. I know I’ve been harping on this for so long, it’s just that I can see it. And you can, too, but you’re afraid.”
I nod. “You’re right. I’m terrified. But I don’t think you know exactly what I’m terrified of. I’m not scared of my feelings for him, Becca. I’m not scared of him being this teen idol. I mean, it’s part of it, but it’s not that I think it wouldn’t be amazing with him. I think it would. But he’s pulled in so many directions. Look at him right now with Danica.”
“Danica’s fake, Z. Every single thing about them together is fake. You’re real.”
I find the power to shake my head. “No. Is it staged? Sure, but I can’t call it fake. Because they’re two puzzle pieces that would fit together perfectly. Landon’s my puzzle piece. I told Jade after you left, Landon will be there. I can have a normal relationship with him. He won’t get called off for tours or red carpets or talk shows. He’s … safe.”
Sliding her arms around me, she looks up. Turning to meet her gaze, I can see the confusion cross her face. I know she’s going to try and counter my argument, but after my talk with Jade earlier, I’m resolved. I have to stick to it. It’s best for everyone.
“Isn’t love supposed to make you feel something more than safe?” she finally releases her counterpoint.
“Not just safe for me.” Her eyes narrow in confusion. “If we got together, and for whatever reason, I didn’t think I could take this crazy life he has … he’d leave it. For me.”
She shakes her head, her eyes narrowing in confusion. I let out a disheartened chuckle and look down at the necklace Derrik just gave me. He was absolutely honest when he told me the cost didn’t matter to him, and I believe it. He’d buy anything for me. He’d do anything for me.
“I know he loves me, and he’d give up anything for me. That includes the amazing life he has now. I know it. As much as he loves music and performing and being with his brother and Jade and Maddox, I know he’d give it up if things got too hard for me. How can I do that to him, Becca? How can I let him just give up his dream—his entire life—for me?”
She shakes her head. “You don’t know that.”
“I do. He told me he would.”
Shock covers her face. Her hand slowly rises up to her mouth, her light green eyes wide open. “When?”
“Last year. Just before their second album came out and things really blew up for them. He said maybe he should call it quits. He said some things are more important than his dreams. It’s why I broke up with him. And it’s why I did everything I could to smile through it all and act like it wasn’t a big deal.”
She nods slowly. “I always wondered why you seemed so content about that. Almost happy. It’s the reason it’s aggravated me for so long. Like, how could you—”
“Exactly. How could I? He says I was his last real kiss. Well, he was the first boy I ever … did everything with. Everything we shared … it tore me apart to end it. But I knew if I showed him any hint of how much everything meant to me, that he’d do it. The Kings wouldn’t be where they are now. How could I do that to them? To him?”
Squeezing my eyes shut, the tears that have been building up finally leak out. Becca’s start to fall also, and she wraps her arms around me tighter.
15
Derrik
Last night is hazy, and it’s not because of alcohol. Before Danica dragged me out of Zoey’s suite, I was almost positive that we were onto something. Then Becca knocked at the door, and there was some kind of weird vibe in the air between them. I was a little surprised Zoey asked for a minute to talk to her. Even though I didn’t want to leave, I figured it’d be okay. They’d talk about whatever they had to discuss, and Zoey and I would get back together a few minutes later.
The hotel has a gorgeous patio balcony on the roof, and we could’ve gone up there and finished whatever we were about to start. I could finally explain to her that there’s no reason for us to not be together. It was finally happening, and we were going to clear the air. Then Danica happened, and we were off to check out Maddox’s set.
The band has been to a couple guest DJ spots Maddox has had, but it’s a thing he likes to do by himself. He loves being part of the band as much as any of us, but I know he likes his own thing, too. As different as he and his sister are, they are very much alike in the way that they enjoy working on other creative projects alone.
When we got to the club, the place went wild the moment they saw Danica. And she made sure to let everyone know I was around, taking videos and photos to post on social media. My phone was going off like crazy after a couple of hours, with at least a dozen posts going viral.
When Maddox parties, he parties with a capital P. But when he performs, he stays pretty straight and narrow. That doesn’t include talk shows and things like that, because to him those things are celebrity gigs. They aren’t musical performances, they’re musical performances. He always emphasizes the appropriate word for each event. So, when he deejays, he makes sure to take it as seriously as he does when we’re playing in front of ten thousand people.
He was happy to see us but didn’t pay either of us much attention after the first couple of minutes. Danica got us a VIP lounge spot where she continued to socialize by taking pictures, popping bottles, and living the Danica Parker life that I’ve grown accustomed to seeing.
All three of us close down the club, and by the time we get back to the hotel, Maddox and Danica are both tipsy. She tries pulling me with her, and Maddox eggs it on, pushing me toward her room. Laughing, he slips into our suite, closing the door behind me, leaving me in the hallway with her as she fumbles with her keycard.
“Give me that.” I take it from her. Opening the door, I help her inside to a similar suite as ours.
“Come with me.” She tugs me along, the door shutting behind us. I follow because what else am I supposed to do? It’s not like I’m going to do anything, but with Danica it’s better to not put up a fight.
Pulling me closer as she lies on her bed, I keep my arms extended. “Okay, you’re in bed,” I tell her. “Time for sleep.”
“No, stay with me,” she responds but begins to crawl under her blankets. “Please?” she adds, her glassy eyes staring up at me as she juts out her bottom lip.
“That’s probably not the best idea.”
The fake pout vanishes, but she still keeps her eyes on me. “Why don’t you like me, Derrik?”
The que
stion catches me off guard. She doesn’t ask it with a playful tease, or even the two-year-old tantrum that I’ve seen from her. I kneel down to her, and she locks our fingers together. “I do like you.”
She shakes her head wildly. “No. Not like I want you to.”
“Oh,” I respond, finally breaking our eyes apart.
“See?” She lets go of my fingers, sliding her arm under her pillow, but keeps her eyes on me. “I’m pretty, right?”
“I’ve already told you that you are.”
“To you?” Reaching out, she runs her fingers along my chin. “Am I pretty to you?”
A light chuckle falls out. “Yes, Dani. You’re pretty to me.”
With no more complaints or prodding, she smiles and closes her eyes. “I’m going to get you, Derrik Tyler,” she mumbles through a yawn. And that’s my cue to leave.
By the time I get back into my room, it’s pretty easy to fall asleep, and when I see Danica the next morning, she’s already on the move. Leaving the hotel, I know she has her schedule lined up to meet with some other people in the movie and TV scene. The band has a couple of guest spots to do radio shows, then the sound checks and everything for the show tonight. Which is what I’m doing now.
All four of us stroll into the elevator of the building of the most popular radio station in the city. Each of us has a regular morning routine; Jade sips on her iced coffee, scrolling through her phone. She lets out a huff, and I know it’s either because she’s trying to get a lyric right in her mind, or her boyfriend texted her again, asking when his band can open for us. EJ and I shrug Bret off whenever his name gets mentioned, but Maddox doesn’t like him. They’ve actually gotten into a fight. Thankfully, no one was around to take any pictures. Bret craves fame so much he never brought it up, told our manager, or went to any media outlets.
Speaking of Maddox, he wipes the sleep from his eyes, tapping his thumbs away on his leg. His shaggy hair is tucked under a black baseball hat, and his head bobs around as he listens to music with his earbuds in. Even though I had all the craziness going on around me and in my brain last night, I remember listening to his set. The guy is super talented.