Sugar, Mine (Mine Series Book 3)

by Kay Maree

  "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Breathing deeply, I rest my head against the cool tiles and slam my hand against it when I realize I didn't need to jerk off to come. Her image was enough to bring me to my knees. Taking a moment so I can get my bearings back, I finish washing and clean the shower wall. Stepping out, I wrap a towel around my waist. Bending forward, I look at myself in the mirror. I have to regain control of myself, she's been through enough to last a lifetime and she doesn't need my uncontrollable ass all over her. After toweling myself off, I grab the clothes I'd put in here after my workout last night and throw them on. I need to get back downstairs, see what Theo has found out and make sure Kirsty at least tries to eat something.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Kirsty

  I'm not exactly sure what just happened but I saw the moment I froze in his eyes. I didn't mean to, it's reflexive, but as the tip of his finger touched my cheek I felt something zip through me and the nervousness of Theo being here disappeared. How can one simple touch set off so many emotions when for so long I haven't wanted anybody to touch me and when they did, I blocked it out? One simple touch from this tatted up mountain of a man has me wanting to beg for more. I jump when music starts to play and swing around to see the television is on.

  "I didn't mean to startle you, but it was too quiet and I need background noise when I'm working," Theo says with an apologetic look on his face.

  "It's okay," I whisper before turning back to my food. I pick up a piece of toast and take a bite, closing my eyes when the taste of strawberries explodes in my mouth. It's been so long since I've tasted anything so good, not since I was taken. I'm used to water and plain food like rice or bread. I must have moaned at the taste and hear a low chuckle. I feel the heat creep up my neck, not wanting to turn around, I fix my eyes on the plate.

  "I'm sorry, Miss Kirsty."

  I feel bad that he thinks he needs to apologize, that he thinks he has done something wrong. I focus on the plate and explain. "It's okay, you have no reason to be sorry. It's been many years since I've tasted something so good."

  Silence hangs between us before Theo asks, "How long?"

  "Um.. shit, um…" I'm not sure if I should tell him.

  "You don't have to tell me, but the more I know, the better my chances of finding something that may help."

  I'm confused by his words, his offer to, but I answer him anyway.

  "About ten years." The only sound for a moment is the music in the background.

  "Fuck," he growls.

  I'm not sure I want to answer anything else he might ask. I jump off my stool, grab the glass of water and make my way towards the back door. I want to enjoy the fresh air and sit in the sun for a little bit. I stop in my tracks when he speaks again.

  "I'm sorry this happened to you."

  I nod, not knowing what to say. I'm sorry too because no matter what happens next, I'll never get those ten years back. Pushing through the back door, I make my way onto the lush green lawn and sit down. I look around and see patches of dandelions, a smile pulls at my lips. Reaching over I grab one and study the white puff. Playing with it in my fingers, I can't help feeling that maybe all the times I wished for survival and a normal life, maybe it was what brought me Sergio. He's not a white knight riding in and saving the day, but a man with a kind heart who swept me into his arms and saved me from the life which had been forced on me.

  Gazing into the bright sun, I bathe in the rays warming my skin. I take a deep breath and soak it all in, being here is almost surreal. I hear a voice from inside, it's one I don't recognize. I shake my head when it dawns on me, it's a voice from the television announcing the next song –I want to know what love is by Foreigner. The music floats through the air and I fall back to the grass and listen to the words. The lyrics flow through my muddled mind and I question whether I will ever know what love is.

  It's hard thinking you are in a home filled with love, only to be given away on your fifteenth birthday after being told you were only born to repay a debt.

  A tear slides down my cheek but I quickly wipe it away. I turn my attention back to the sun and clear blue sky, not wanting to think about the why's and what if's. It's time I took back control and if everything Sergio has been saying is true, this is a place where I can do that. Somewhere safe where I can prove to myself, and everybody else, that I'm stronger than the marks on my body. I can overcome the words which were thrown at me, the taunting and cruelty. I glance down at my chest, at the bandages there and promise myself one thing - I will not be that person again. I roll to the side and pluck out another dandelion. Closing my eyes, I wish for strength and the willpower to never look back, to always push forward. I open my eyes and watch as the puff's float away in the light breeze.

  ***

  "What are you doing Sugar?" His voice comes from behind me and I jump at the sound. I was so caught up in my own head, I hadn't realized he was standing close by.

  "I'm sorry." I scramble to my feet, but I don't bow my head in terror. Instead, I lock eyes with him and dare him to tell me I can't be out here.

  "You have no reason to be sorry, I told you last night to treat this place as your own."

  I open and close my mouth, not sure what to say to that. I'd been ready to do battle with him.

  "Do you want to sit back down?"

  I nod and sit, but I don't relax as I watch his eyes track everything I'm doing. He sits next to me and I try not to flinch away.

  "I'm sorry the lawn hasn't been mowed, I'll get Demetri to come over this arvo if you want." He waves his arms in the air as he speaks.

  "It's fine."

  "Si." He nods "But, if you want to lay out here I would rather you be comfortable and not be laying on weeds." He points towards the dandelion patches.

  I feel a sudden panic at their possible loss and grip his arm. I try to ignore the rush which hits me when I touch him. "Please don't cut them, they aren't weeds, they're dandelions."

  He glances down at my hand for a moment before covering it with his own larger hand. He squeezes a little and I think he's going to move it, but he leaves it there and warmth floods me. When I gaze into his eyes, they are shining and the intensity reaches deep inside me.

  "Why does it matter if they are cut?"

  "They're like little wishes." I snap my mouth shut and peer at my lap when I realize I've spoken aloud. Shit I can't seem to control my mouth this morning. I feel his fingers on my chin and fight the need to pull away. I lock eyes with him and notice how soft they have become. Dropping his hand back over mine, I realize I still haven't let him go.

  "It's okay, Sugar, can you show me how it works?" He smiles and my stomach performs summersaults. Nodding, I reach over with my free hand and pick one up. "You bring it to your mouth like this…" I raise the white puff to my lips. "…close your eyes, make a wish or think of something you want to happen and then blow." I blow out a deep breath.

  When I open my eyes and look towards Sergio, there is a strange expression on his face and his eyes are fixed in the region of my mouth. I lick my lips and wonder what it would be like to be kissed by this incredible man. From the corner of my eye, I see his hand reach towards me. I don't move, stiffen or flinch, instead I sit calmly while he runs the tips of his fingers down the side of my face.

  "You're a beautiful woman, but when you smile and this dimple appears…" he touches said dimple before running his finger across my bottom lip. "….you take my breath away."

  Well, that knocks the wind from me. No-one has ever spoken to me that way. When he removes his finger, I feel my lips tingle and suck it into my mouth. I want the feeling to last forever.

  "I'm sorry, Sugar." He blows out a deep breath. "I won't touch you again without asking. I just can't seem to be near you without wanting to have you in my arms." Without another word, he stands and heads towards the back door.

  I don't know what to say, I seem to have this problem a lot when he's around. I stay silent. Where the hell would I begin to explain to this ma
n what he does to me? Laying back on the grass, I close my eyes and wonder if what I'm feeling is real or just my head telling me to latch on to this man who has shown me kindness for the first time in years.

  After burying my feelings for so long, refusing to allow them to come to the surface, can I allow myself to start feeling now? I'm confused, the only thing which is clear to me right now is, I need to get stronger. I need to take things one step at a time.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sergio

  I let the screen door close under its own weight and stand peering back out to the yard. Kirsty is lying on her back, staring up at the sky, the hint of a smile on her face. It's obvious she's not used to being outdoors, I guess she probably would have been in deep shit if she'd been caught outside.

  "Is she okay?" Theo asks from behind me.

  "Yeah, she's just enjoying the sun."

  "Sergio, she spoke to me before she went outside."

  I turn to face him. "And?"

  "They had her for ten fucking years." The way he growls, it's not hard to hear he's angry.

  I feel anger well within, rage at the thought of what they did to her when she was still only a kid. Marcella flashes into my thoughts and the last time I saw her alive. I couldn't do shit to save her, but I sure as fuck can make sure nobody touches my girl again.

  "You said you found something?" I change the subject needing to calm the anger swirling within.

  "Si." He nods and we move to where he has his computer set up. He takes a seat at the table, clicks a few keys and looks up at me.

  I round the table to see the screen showing the picture of a pudgy little man, probably in his late fifties and with next to no hair.

  "Bruno J." Theo taps the screen with his finger.

  "Piece of shit!"

  "Si, Fratello. I managed to find this and a few newspaper articles about him. I'm still searching for his last known whereabouts. He was last arrested in 2008, made bail and appears to have vanished. I'll search until I find him."

  "Bene." I study the screen, committing his face to memory. When I hear the screen door close, I glance up to see Kirsty has entered the house.

  "I'll go up to my room." Her voice is agonizingly soft.

  I clench my fists, determined someone will pay for the harm done to my woman.

  "Si, Sugar. I spoke with Doc earlier and he'll be here in a few hours to check you over."

  "Okay." Her head is bowed as she walks from the kitchen.

  I rub my hands down my face before dragging one through my hair, a piece of dandelion catches my finger. Visions of how she looked when she held it to her mouth and the peace which seemed to wash over her, fill my mind. I want nothing more than to see that look of calm on her face every day for the rest of our lives.

  Watching her knocked the air from my lungs, I wanted so badly to kiss her but, it's too soon and I can't betray her trust in that way. The last thing on her mind is being mine. I need to clear these thoughts and focus on finding the assholes who did this to her.

  ***

  It's been two fucking weeks and we still can't find a damn thing on that cazzo, Bruno J. Kirsty barely speaks a word about what happened to her and I don't want to push her but we are coming up empty without her help.

  Dominic is demanding answers I can't give him. Theo is working his ass off but, despite having tried everything he can think of there's still nothing. We've hit a brick wall and I hate that I can't give Kirsty the peace she fucking deserves.

  I hit the bag harder, sweat drips down my face but it's not enough to settle this anger within me. It's fucking killing me to keep my distance from her, I haven't touched her since the day in the back yard. I feel like an addict needing a fix and have to keep reminding myself, I can't do anything to confuse her anymore than she already is. But, fuck, her sweet scent hangs in the air around me and I'm hanging on by a thread. I'm not sure how many nights I've gone to bed hard as fucking steel or how many times I've dreamed about that first night with her sleeping in my arms.

  I hear her whimpers and cries in the dark of night but, like tonight, I can't do shit about it. So, I'm down here hitting this fucking bag to stop myself from going into her room, gathering her into my arms and just fucking holding her.

  "Fuck," I growl before lashing out left, right and center. I don't give a shit about technique, I'm just fucking hitting.

  I'm not sure how long I've been down here but, my arms feel heavy as fuck. I stop the movement of the bag and lean my head against it, sucking in gulps of air.

  "Sergio."

  I swing around at the sound of her soft voice.

  "Sugar."

  We stand staring at each other, not moving, not speaking, just staring. She's a fucking vision of loveliness, her long hair swept up in a messy knot on top of her head and wearing a pair of sweats and a shirt which Brooklyn gave her.

  "I can't sleep," she whispers.

  Her eyes roam over my body.

  I feel myself harden, turn away to grab the towel off the seat in the corner and the water bottle. I try to focus my attention anywhere except on her. I guzzle down the water, wipe the sweat from my forehead, compose myself and turn back around.

  "Would you like to lie under the stars?" I know she loves being outside, it's when she's at her happiest so, I had Nico and Demetri bring over a daybed today so she could spend as much time out there as she wanted.

  I always left her alone but would watch from my bedroom window. She'd smile up at the sky, the sun, the moon as if seeing it all for the first time. Fuck it makes me angry knowing she was denied this simple pleasure.

  When she'd fall asleep under the stars, I worried about her getting sick so, I'd pick her up and carry her into her bed. At first she would startle and shy away but for the past week, she hasn't woken and she actually snuggles against me.

  "Yes."

  "Si, but it's cool so if you fall asleep I'll bring you back inside." I drop the towel and water bottle and head back to the bag. It's going to be a very long night.

  "Will you lie with me?" Her voice is so soft I barely hear her.

  Before she can change her mind, I nod and move closer to her. I follow behind when she heads for the kitchen door which leads into the back yard. She heads straight for the bed while I start to grab a chair from the veranda.

  She turns to see what I'm doing. "I want you to hold me. Please?"

  I suck in a breath and gaze deep into her eyes, I need to make sure she understands what she's asking. Her eyes sparkle in the moonlight, there's a peace and calm I haven't seen there before. I let go of the chair and head for the bed with her. When she reaches for my hand, the now familiar warmth from her touch shoots through me.

  I climb onto the bed and lie on my side, she lies down on her back beside me.

  "Doesn't the sight take your breath away?"

  She's talking about the stars and moon, I'm talking about her when I answer. "Si, it does.

  She turns to find my eyes fixed on her and knows it was her I had in mind. She sucks in a deep breath. I remain still when she reaches out and runs her fingertips along the side of my face.

  "Earlier, when I was upstairs and trying to sleep, I realized something."

  I remain quiet when she pauses.

  "I look into your eyes and they're so kind, I feel like I'm awake for the first time in my life, not trapped in a nightmare. I never want that feeling to end."

  "Sugar." She runs her fingers over my lips to stop me from speaking.

  "I'm not sure when I'll be ready for sex…"

  I open my mouth but she shakes her head.

  "I spoke with Brooklyn about how I feel when I'm around you and she kinda sorted out all the muddled-up things in my head. I know t's not fair of me but, having you touch me the way you do is about all I can handle for now. Oh, and this."

  She leans up and places her lips over mine, I freeze for a moment when I feel softness. Snapping out of my shock, I move my hand to behind her head and graze her bottom
lip with my tongue. When she gasps, I take the opportunity to slip inside. I groan at the sweetest thing I have ever tasted, it's as if pure sugar shoots through my veins.

  Kirsty moans, I pull back and rest my forehead against hers while we both catch our breath.

  "Sugar, I don't care if this is all we ever have."

  "What?" Her question comes out breathy.

  "Knowing I can have your touch is enough for me but, I know when you're ready you'll tell me."

  "What if I'm never ready?

  I kiss her forehead and she squeezes her eyes shut.

  "Sugar, I just need your touch, I'm lost without it. This right here, what we're doing, it centers me."

  I watch as a smile curls her lips.

  "Hold me, Sergio."

  "Always tesoro mio." I lay back on the bed, wrap my arm around her waist and she settles against my bare chest. I gaze up at the stars and can't help but feel content for the first time in what feels like forever. Having her in my arms is all I need.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kirsty

  My eyes flicker open when bright rays of sunlight stream through the window. I snuggle back against the warmth and safety of Sergio's hard chest and my thoughts drift to last night, the stars above, his arms wrapped around me. Protecting me.

  It took me all afternoon and a conversation with Brooklyn to start seeing what was right in front of me the whole time.