To Love a Texas Cowboy

by Julie Benson

  For a second, she considered pretending she wasn’t home, but decided against that strategy. She knew she’d have to fess up sooner or later, however she’d hoped it would be later when she was prepared.

  More pounding made her race through the house as she yelled, “I’m coming.”

  A minute later when she opened the door to find Ty, a scowl darkening his handsome features and his gaze steel hard, she wished she’d hidden in her office until he left. “You know.”

  He nodded.

  “I was going to tell you as soon as I figured out how.”

  “You had no right to do what you did, but I’ll pay you back. Every damned cent.” Then he turned to leave.

  That was it? She hadn’t expected him to thank her, had in fact anticipated him being upset, but she never imagined he wouldn’t let her explain.

  “How is what I did different than you paying my salary out of your own pocket?” she yelled at his retreating form. “You didn’t ask me if I wanted to be your little charity project.”

  That got him. He froze, turned, and stalked back, his posture rigid, his eyes blazing with blinding anger. Resisting the urge to retreat, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down, refusing to be intimidated. She’d always believed in the saying it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Now she wasn’t so sure.

  “Aubrey’s been telling tales.” He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “You don’t get it, do you? Or don’t you care that you’ve made me a laughing stock?”

  “I’ve done no such thing. No one except Aubrey and John at the bank knows what I did.”

  He laughed. The brittle sound grated her ears. “In a small town nothing stays a secret.”

  A twinge of guilt rippled through her because she hadn’t considered that. No one knew anyone’s business in New York, but he was right. Small towns were different. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first. I should have, but if I had, what would you have said?”

  “I’d have told you I take care of my finances, and I don’t need my girlfriend bailing me out of trouble.”

  “Why is it okay for you to help me, but not the other way around?” He didn’t answer, but she hadn’t expected him to. They both knew her question was rhetorical. “You’re afraid people will see you’re not perfect and like the rest of us mere humans who occasionally need help.”

  He stiffened as if she’d slapped him. Why was her helping him such an insult? Did he even know the reason?

  “This wasn’t your problem. You should’ve stayed out of it.”

  She almost staggered from his verbal blow. How could he say after everything they’d shared that something causing him such worry and pain had nothing to do with her? The razor shards of her shattered dreams sliced into her skin. “Silly me. I thought we relied on each other. But if we don’t have that kind of relationship, if we aren’t equal partners, than we have nothing.” And they never would, and she refused to accept less.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “There’s nothing else to say.” Not when he’d made his feelings for her brutally clear. All she could do was salvage the remainder of her pride. “Grace’s client made an offer on the inn, but I turned it down. Today he came back with a higher one. Ella’s doing much better now. I think she can handle moving. Considering the response I’ve had with my recent artwork, being in New York would be best for my career. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m taking the offer. Ella and I will leave when school’s out in three weeks.”

  She waited, praying for him to say something, but he remained stubbornly silent. She swallowed the lump in her throat, ignored the pain expanding in her chest, and pushed forward. “I’ll send you the paperwork, but don’t fight me on selling because I’ll hire a lawyer if I have to.”

  “I won’t.”

  The last of her hope died. Until this moment she hadn’t realized she’d counted on him fighting the sale to show her he cared and to give her time to fix things. His acquiescence meant there really was nothing left between them to salvage.

  “We can deal with Ella’s finances on the phone and by email.”

  He had to be kidding. Before when her relationships ended she moved her ex into the friend zone. She’d been able to do that because her heart hadn’t been involved. But Ty? She wanted all of him or nothing. Every time she heard his voice on the phone the wound would be reopened. She’d never heal. Never be able to move on. Dealing with him via email would do the same. Though she couldn’t afford it, she lied and said, “I’ll hire an accountant to work with you.”

  Then afraid she’d fall apart or beg him for another chance and to love her just a little, she stumbled into the house and slammed the door behind her. Once there she leaned against the sturdy wood as aching loss washed over her. Her knees threatening to buckle, she sank to the floor as tears burned a path down her cheeks.

  What Ty said about his father ran through her mind. I figured if he walked out on me and Mom, then to hell with him.

  Ty gave people one shot and if they betrayed him he cut them out of his life. As far as he was concerned, that was what she’d done, and he’d never forgive her.

  *

  Ty shoved the pitchfork into a pile of hay and slung it into the horse stall. He hadn’t seen Cassie since he’d confronted her about paying off his loan. He thought the ache in his chest would lessen, but, instead, every day he missed her more. The wound inside him grew and festered.

  When he’d been left him at the altar he hadn’t hurt like this. He’d been embarrassed, but not much else. He never felt empty and as if his world had fallen in on top of him.

  He never loved Lauren. Not like he loved Cassie.

  Because of that, he’d expected more of her. That was why her going behind his back sent him reeling and the void she’d left in his life had become unbearable. She’d stopped helping with the tours. Now, instead looking forward to them, they’d become something to endure. Cassie no longer brought Ella to the ranch after school. Aubrey did. Lord, he didn’t know what he’d do when he lost Ella, too.

  Silly me. I thought we had the kind of relationship where we relied on each other.

  He’d been relying on her since the first time she helped with a tour, and he’d been an idiot not to realize that. More importantly, it was what he wanted. What he needed.

  “Need help?” AJ said, joining him in the barn.

  Ty shook his head and nodded to his friend’s spotless uniform. “We can’t have the chief of police getting horse manure on his uniform.” He tossed more hay into the stall. “With all your important duties what brings you out here?”

  “I want to talk some sense into you. Word around town is Cassie’s selling the inn.”

  “I know. As Ella’s financial guardian I have to sign the papers at closing, but they’re moving before that once school lets out.” In one week. Seven days. That was all he had left before they walked out of his life forever.

  “You’re really going to let them move to New York? You’re not going to patch things up with Cassie?”

  “You don’t know what she did.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Course you do. The damn news spread through town like a brush fire.”

  “I get why you’re mad,” AJ said. “She should’ve talked to you first, but if she had, you wouldn’t have accepted her help. You could’ve come to me, Zane, and Coop for help, but I bet that never occurred to you because you never ask for help.”

  “I didn’t have the chance,” he lied. “Cassie went behind my back and stuck her nose into something that wasn’t her problem before I could ask you.”

  “I’m calling bullshit, buddy. You wouldn’t have asked anyone for money. That means you were willing to risk losing the ranch you promised your grandfather on his deathbed that you’d keep in the family because you’re too proud to ask for help. Instead of complaining, you should thank her for saving your ass. Set up a payment plan to pay her back to salvage your pri
de, but don’t let her go.”

  “It’s not that simple.” Ty remembered the first time he’d ventured into town after Cassie paid his loan. Embarrassment and anger rolled over him again. “The last time I stopped in the feed store Trevor Miller asked me what it felt like to be a kept man. Everyone had a good laugh over that.” Ty rubbed the back of his neck, the rough suede of his work gloves scraped against his skin. “It’s damned hard to think of a good comeback to that.”

  “If anyone gives you shit, look him straight in the eye, and say they should be as lucky as you are,” AJ said. “You say you have a woman who not only had the funds to help, but loves you enough to use them. I’ve heard about Trevor’s wife. She wouldn’t lift a finger to help him up if he fell, much less bail him out of financial trouble. She’d move on to greener pastures.”

  He stabbed the pitchfork into the hay pile and leaned against it for support. Even if he let go of his anger and disappointment in Cassie, how could he ask her to stay when she admitted being in New York was better for her career? If he asked her to stay and by some miracle she agreed, he’d always wonder when she’d say she didn’t need him and an east Texas cowboy didn’t fit with her image.

  Part of him insisted Cassie wasn’t like that. After receiving the twenty grand she hadn’t quit working with him at the ranch. Instead she’d created a schedule to meet her art deadlines while running the inn and helping him with the weekend tours.

  Then the rest of what AJ said sank in. You have a woman who not only has the funds to help, but loves you enough to use them…

  Cassie in love with him? No way. If she’d loved him she wouldn’t have gone behind his back. She wouldn’t have betrayed him. How could he trust her again after what she’d done?

  “My life was fine before Cassie turned it upside down, and it’ll be that way again when she leaves.” His words churned up the acid eating at his stomach.

  “You’re about to let a damned fine woman, who’s the best thing to happen to you in years, walk out of your life because a couple assholes made fun of you? I never thought I’d say this about you, Ty, but you are one stupid shit.” Then AJ stalked away, shaking his head.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ‡

  Though Ty insisted he didn’t believe in the wishing well, he found himself there the day Cassie was to leave town. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his grandfather’s silver dollar.

  After AJ chewed out his ass, Ty realized his friend had been right about so many things, but mainly his unwillingness to accept help and what he owed Cassie. With the money Aubrey borrow still tied up, if not for Cassie, he’d have been forced to cash in all his investments and sell part of the ranch to stay afloat. And the longer it took to recoup the funds Aubrey invested, the worse their financial situation became. They could’ve lost everything. If not for Cassie.

  He thought about when he’d stayed at the inn. He’d been happier there than he remembered being since Aubrey’s father died. He’d possessed a balance and sense of belonging as if he was part of something special. Like a family.

  But sometimes family had to make sacrifices for each other.

  Why would an artist who could sell a sculpture for thousands of dollars want to live in little Wishing, Texas? Cassie had the chance to make it big with her art and being here would hold her back.

  He rubbed the coin as he had so many times since his grandfather had given it to him. The metal grew warm under his fingertips. Praying using this coin would bring extra luck, he dropped it into the well. “I wish Cassie all the success she deserves, and that she finds the perfect man to share it with, one who won’t hold her back.”

  Leaves rustled behind him. “If you think you’re holding me back, then you’ve got a hole in your head and half your brains have fallen out.”

  He turned to see Cassie walk into the clearing. Her long, full orange skirt billowed around her, revealing her cowboy boots as she strode toward him.

  He couldn’t believe she was here, talking to him, and looking so wonderful it hurt. Despite her smart-ass comment, he grinned. “I’m getting tired of people saying I’m stupid.”

  “Oh?”

  “AJ called me a stupid shit for letting you go.”

  She smiled, lighting up his world the way the sun did after the morning clouds burned off. “AJ’s a smart guy.”

  His friend was right, Ty thought. I need to thank her for saving my ass and my ranch. If I don’t do that now, I’ll never have the chance to tell her face to face. A sense of calm filled him as he barreled forward. “I owe you an apology. I was too proud to ask for help, and you knew that. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d have been forced to sell off some land to pay everything I needed to.”

  She nodded toward the well. “Did you mean what you said?”

  “Every word.”

  “You said you wanted me to find the perfect man to share in my success. As far as I’m concerned I have.”

  He shook his head. She couldn’t be more wrong. “Living in New York is better for your career. You said that yourself, and my life is here. I love you too much to ask you to stay. You need to make the most of the opportunity you’ve been given.”

  She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. What the hell could he have done wrong now?

  “I’ve changed my mind. Three-fourths of your brains have leaked out.”

  “Wait a minute—”

  “Couldn’t you tell I was mad when I said being in New York was better for me? My pride wouldn’t let me say I was leaving because I couldn’t live here if you and I weren’t together. Sure, I’ve got a great opportunity, but it’s only because of you. I told you the idea for the sculpture came to me at the lake when I saw you on your horse, but I didn’t tell you the entire series is about you. You and this land are my muse, and that’s why I’m doing the best work I’ve ever done.” She paused and her eyes widened. She placed her hand over her heart and her lips trembled. “Did you say you love me?”

  “I thought you missed that part. When you get all fired up, you don’t listen too well.”

  “That’s not true.” She swatted him on the arm, but then wrapped her arms around his waist. “I love you, too.”

  He drew her close. The scent of turpentine and linseed oil filled his senses, fueling his desire as his lips covered hers. Talk about an odd aphrodisiac. The emptiness he’d felt over the last weeks disappeared as joy over his good fortune consumed him. When he pulled away from her a minute later, he searched her expressive face. “Are you sure you want to stay? The tourist business and ranching don’t provide the most financially stable life, and maybe you could make it big in New York.”

  “With overnight shipping and the Internet, I can have a solid art career here, and that’s good enough for me. Pair that with the ranch and tourist business and I think we can make a decent living. Plus there’s more than one kind of stability. Chloe and Jack’s death taught me that.” Tears glistened in her beautiful green eyes. “Life was so overwhelming after they died. I was grief stricken and scared, but you were there for me through the worst of it. That’s the kind of stability that really matters. I know when times get rough I have someone who loves me. Someone I can count to help no matter how bad things get, and I’ll never face anything alone. And I promise the same for you.”

  His fears that she wouldn’t need him or that he would hold her back evaporated.

  “I’m not good with accepting help, and I’m worse at asking for it. I can’t promise I won’t forget and shut you out sometimes, but I rely on you and trust you more than anyone else.”

  “If you forget, I’ll remind you.”

  “I’m sure you will.” Thank goodness he couldn’t get rid of her that easily.

  “Now that I’m staying, can I back out of selling the Bluebonnet Inn? I have to admit it’s home now. Plus, you were right the first time I brought up selling it. The inn’s Ella’s legacy. She should be the one to decide what to do about it some day.”

  “I’
ll talk to the buyer and explain the situation. Unless he’s a heartless bastard, he’ll let us out of the contract.” He explained how they’d have to return the down payment and earnest money. “We could be required to pay expenses he’s incurred, including his time costs.”

  “What kind of money are we talking about?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together,” he said with certainty. She gazed up at him with love and trust. His heart love for her swelled as he brushed her tears away. “We won’t let Ella lose the inn. If I need to, I’ll ask AJ, Zane, and Coop for a loan.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “In a New York minute.”

  “Very funny.” She playfully swatted his arm again before her gaze darkened with worry. “But what if he won’t let us out of the contract? Grace said he wants to buy a B&B and retire in Texas. He wants the Bluebonnet Inn enough—”

  “Maybe we can help him find another one. The Talbot sisters have been talking about retiring for years. Could be I can sweet talk them into selling.”

  Cassie laughed so hard her eyes started watering.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Gloria says how your butt looks in jeans makes her need an extra dose of heart medicine.”

  “I sure as hell wish I didn’t know that. Now I won’t be able to look her in the face again.” He shook his head as heat rushed up his neck into his face.

  “While making you blush is fun, it’s not why I mentioned what she said. I brought it up because if you wear your tightest jeans and bend over a few times you could probably talk the Gloria and Betty into selling their souls to the devil, so let’s hope getting them to sell the B&B is easy.”

  “Then the question becomes what do we do with two houses once we’re married?”

  She titled her head, stuck out her chin and crossed her arms over her chest. “Married? I don’t remember being asked to marry you.”

  The minx wouldn’t make this easy for him. “You’re right, I haven’t.”

  He wanted to give Cassie more than a spur of the moment proposal. The last time he’d proposed, he’d planned it for months. How could he give Cassie less when he loved her more?