Twin Cowboys for Tamara

by Gigi Moore

  “You should be, especially as it concerns you.” Jess caught her around the biceps and pulled her closed. “Why have you been avoiding us?”

  “I’m not avoiding you.” She averted her gaze, the act belying her words.

  Jax couldn’t speak for his brother, but it hurt to see her running from them.

  This same woman had taken them inside her body and cuddled between them not much more than a week ago, acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world to her. But obviously it wasn’t natural, at least not enough for Tamara to accept it as their due.

  How could they convince her father and theirs that they all belonged together when they couldn’t even convince Tamara that they all belonged together?

  “Look at me, Tamara,” Jess growled.

  The hairs on the back of Jax’s neck stood up so he could imagine what his brother’s voice did to Tamara.

  She tilted back her head to look Jess in the eye and then looked at Jax behind him before glaring at Jess. “I want you to know this double teaming wasn’t fair when you were kids, and it certainly isn’t fair now.”

  “All’s fair…” Jess closed his eyes and lowered his head to cover Tamara’s mouth.

  Jax wanted to argue that they would get nothing accomplished falling into bed, yet again, but he couldn’t stop his breath from hitching in his chest as he watched Tamara close her eyes and part her lips for Jess. He couldn’t stop his heart from skipping and speeding when Jess slipped his tongue into her mouth and groaned deep in his throat.

  He’d been hard from the moment he stepped into the room and caught a whiff of Tamara’s sandalwood scent, but watching them together instantly made him harder. And when Tamara’s arms came up to curve around Jess’s broad back, Jax’s entire body heated and tingled as if her arms had come around him, as if her breasts pressed against his chest, and he could feel her hard swollen nipples poking his bare chest through her skimpy spaghetti-strap top.

  Unconsciously, Jax circled around the pair until he stood behind Tamara, all but salivating as her sweet musky aroma tickled his senses. He reached out his hands to grasp her hips, drawing her back against him. His cock strained against the front of his pajama bottoms. He wanted inside her in the worse way, to feel skin on skin, sweat on sweat and heat on heat.

  She reached back a hand as if reading his mind, rubbed his erection through the material of his pajamas before she slipped her hand into the open fly and thumbed the pearl of liquid gathering at the head of his penis.

  His moan echoed hers and he pressed closer, sliding his hands from her hips to squeeze the round globes of her ass and make her whimper into Jess’s mouth.

  Jax moved his hand down between her legs, sliding under the leg of her shorts and cupping her warm crotch. He pushed a finger inside her, thrusting deep as she gyrated and pumped her hips against his hand. He explored her wetness and warmth as if uncharted territory he wanted to experience for the first time. He enjoyed the clutch of her inner muscles as she sucked him in and released, sucked him in and released.

  Tamara caught his wrist as if to guide his movements and Jax twisted his finger inside her, joining it with a second and stroking her slow and intense.

  She tore her mouth away from Jess’s, breathless as she clamped down on Jax’s fingers, shuddering hard as an orgasm seized her.

  Jax gladly accepted her weight as she leaned back against him, cradling her head against the crook of his shoulder, still writhing in his grasp.

  Jess kissed is way down her face to her breasts, moving the straps of her top down her arms to give him better access.

  Jax watched his brother lazily circle his tongue around each hardened nub, a tremor of lust riding him as Jess pulled a nipple into his mouth and sucked like a baby nursing.

  “Oh God, I want you! Why do I want you both so much?”

  Jax would have been full of himself if there wasn’t such pain and conflict in her words.

  “You can see we want you too,” Jess murmured against her chest, pulling back to step out of his pajama bottoms and stand before her naked and fully erect.

  Not to be outdone, Jax got out of his own pajama bottoms before coming back to Tamara to remove her satin shorts. The sight and feel of the soft green material sliding down her even softer skin to pool around her delicate ankles before she stepped out of them made Jax’s cock throb painfully.

  Tamara slid her top over her head then stood between them, caramel skin shimmering beneath the soft light of the room, beckoning.

  Jax licked his lips as she stood on her toes and curved an arm around each of their necks, French-kissing them each in turn. He didn’t know how, but he managed to pull away and glare at her. “We didn’t come here only for this.”

  “At least you’re truthful enough to admit that you want this.”

  “Tamara…”

  “I know you didn’t come here just for this. But can’t we have this now and talk later?”

  “If you promise we’ll talk.”

  “We will.” She looked at Jess then back at Jax. “I promise.”

  Not that either of them could guarantee what she would say.

  * * * *

  Tamara slid the condom down over Jax’s rigid, pulsing cock with shaky hands and nervously bit her bottom lip as she turned to see Jess’s just as impressive erection already sheathed and ready for her.

  Her nipples stood at attention, swollen and hypersensitive, had been on the alert ever since Jax and Jess stepped through the door earlier. She was thoroughly wet too, juices trickling down the insides of her thighs with need, her body all but humming with anticipation.

  She felt like she prepared to have them both for the first time again, each instance with them an exciting and fresh experience—each instance an enlightening and disturbing experience.

  That she could be so turned on by two men was one thing. She didn’t want to consider love and giving up everything she’d worked for. The thoughts alarmed her too much so she wouldn’t. But it’s what she had been thinking about for the last several days, going over the logistics in her mind of what she wanted and what she needed, plotting and planning a way to make things right for all of them. That she loved them couldn’t be the point. She did not want to make a decision based on love or, worse, her hormones. She had to be rational and weigh all the pros and cons.

  She needed a reality check and toward this end had already planned to call the partners this morning to inform them that she’d be returning to work no later than the beginning of next week. She couldn’t let her boys talk her out of it, no matter what happened here this morning. She had to at least maintain her own sanity, much less her pride which had suffered more than a few major blows since she’d been home.

  This couldn’t end well, definitely not happily.

  As for her father, leaving would be the best thing she could do for both of them, the best way she could think of to salvage what affection still existed between them. She wasn’t doing anyone a bit of good staying, least of all her dad. He looked better and more robust every day and walked without his crutches.

  Why Jeremiah had felt the need to have her rush out to help a man, who clearly didn’t want it, least of all from her, escaped Tamara.

  But in the back of her mind she kept hearing the words coward and running away playing on a continuous loop. She refused to listen. She wasn’t being a coward, she told herself, just being practical for all concerned.

  “Come here, darlin’.”

  Her knees weakened at Jess’s lazy drawl, and Tamara didn’t hesitate to walk into his open arms. She sensed the power shift as he took control of the moment, and Jax fell in step behind him. Or should she say behind her since she felt him there, at her back, hands on her waist and grinding his pelvis against her rump as Jess pulled her into his arms.

  This was only one of the myriad things she loved about them, the way they worked together and were willing to share. That she loved their intelligence and kindness, and a dozen other quirks and f
oibles she couldn’t even begin to name went without saying.

  Did they attract her so much because of their sameness or did she just love the men they had become? And how would they react when she told them she had to go? Would they be as accepting? Or would they mount one of their infamous, sensual assaults to induce her to stay?

  Tamara pressed her cheek against Jess’s chest, closing her eyes as she listened to his strong heartbeat speed up, reveling in his spicy masculine scent and the feel of Jax, enticing and solid, sandwiching her between him and his brother.

  Other women would probably kill to be in her place, satisfied to be cared for, to be the object of two younger men’s affection and lust, but not her. She wanted to run.

  Tamara held tight to Jess as if in an attempt to ward off the thought.

  His cock pushed against her belly as he hugged her back, burying his face against her neck and taking a deep whiff like he wanted to fortify himself with her fragrance. “I love you, Tamara. Do you know how much?”

  She shook her head in denial and response.

  “We both love you and want you to stay,” Jax said.

  They did just what she’d been afraid of—double teamed her. It wasn’t going to work. She couldn’t let it.

  She didn’t know she cried until Jess licked the tears from her cheek.

  “Is it so painful to hear?” he asked.

  “We thought you’d be thrilled.”

  “It’s not that simple,” she said.

  Neither of them said anything for a long moment. Either they knew no matter what they said, it wouldn’t be right or enough or they tried to formulate the perfect comeback.

  “I can’t settle for pieces of you,” Jess finally said, his intent clear. “I won’t.”

  “Neither will I.”

  “Why does it have to be all or nothing?” She looked from one stern face to the other, her stomach heaving with emotion. They really weren’t going to make this easy for her, but did she really expect them to? She wanted all of James too, but he hadn’t been able or willing to give her that. And instead of her walking, he had.

  When had she become so willing to settle for half the package, especially when the full package existed right here in front of her?

  “I don’t have any more to give,” she whispered.

  “You have so much more to give than sex. It’s just easier for you to throw the dogs a bone, isn’t it?” Jess said.

  “Now wait a minute—”

  “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

  “If that’s what you want to think.”

  “Do you love us?” Jax asked.

  Tamara’s head spun constantly bouncing her attention back and forth between brothers.

  What would it be like, day in and day out, with them? Working and living and playing together? Having kids together?

  God, where had that just come from? Why did she entertain these thoughts? She wasn’t that old, of course, but kids? And raising them with two men? Her dad would have a heart attack!

  “Yes,” she said and closed her eyes, feeling the tears seep down her cheeks.

  In the last few weeks she’d had more of these emotional outbursts than she wanted to count. She hadn’t been this weepy since she’d been a girl.

  “Then stay with us. Be with us—as a family,” Jess said.

  “Do you hear what you’re saying?” She couldn’t believe she stood here, naked no less and so turned on her body ached, calmly discussing an impossible future!

  “You said you love us,” Jax said.

  “I do, but I can’t just give up my life to come live here with you two on a whim.”

  “You wouldn’t be giving up your life, just changing it, hopefully for the better.”

  She couldn’t help the warmth that flooded her body at his grin—so earnest and sweet.

  How could she refuse him, either of them, anything?

  Tamara dragged herself back down to earth with a violent shake of reality, her father’s voice in her head urging her to think how hard life would be living it as the black woman of two white men. It didn’t matter that the ranch made up an insulated community onto itself and everyone treated everyone else like family and tolerant. She lived in the real world and in the real world a relationship like theirs wasn’t desirable on too many levels.

  They love you.

  That’s not relevant, not part of the equation. You have a life in New York.

  “Why am I the only one giving anything up, the only one making a sacrifice in this scenario?” she blurted.

  “It’s not like that, Tamara, and you know it,” Jess said, and his self-righteous tone set her teeth on edge.

  She decided to go with the anger. It was much safer to revisit what she’d felt when she found out he’d lied to her about his identity. She could burrow in the feeling like a well-worn blanket and let it fuel her rather than think how they loved her. “How is it not?”

  “We’re ranchers, cowboys. Where in New York City can we ply that trade?”

  “Oh, and I should just up and move because I can practice law anywhere?”

  “Well, it’s true.”

  “If that isn’t the most arrogant, wrong-headed, chauvinistic bullshit I’ve ever heard in my entire life, I don’t know what is! How dare—”

  An abrupt knock on the door interrupted her tirade, and all three of them turned to stare at the door as one.

  Had they been talking that loudly?

  Tamara grabbed her robe off the foot post and quickly donned it as Jess and Jax scrambled into their pajama bottoms.

  She went to the door and warily opened it to see Maria standing on the other side wringing her hands and already dressed in her apron.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, Tamara, but it is your father. He is…he is on his way to the hospital with Jeremiah.”

  Chapter 24

  “Glio-what?”

  “Glioblastoma multiforme or grade IV astrocytoma.”

  “English please.”

  “It’s a malignant brain tumor.”

  Tamara slumped toward the floor, and Jess caught her under the arms, wrapping his own around her and guiding her to the sofa in the waiting room where she, he, Dad and Jax all listened to the doctor’s official diagnosis.

  Tamara took a seat willingly, almost too willingly. Jess didn’t think he had ever seen her so meek and vulnerable, not even as a kid.

  “But I thought he suffered from diabetes,” she croaked, looking up at the doctor like a lost child.

  The doctor shook his head. “Your father is terminal, Ms. Carpenter. He didn’t want his family to know before now just how ill he was, I mean is…”

  Before now, Jess thought, focusing on the doctor’s words, his first time hearing the hard ugly truth about Bailey’s condition up close and personal. So the man had finally decided to come clean. Probably because he just didn’t have a choice anymore.

  The doctor continued addressing Tamara. “But I assure you it’s not diabetes.”

  “The seizure—”

  “The previous and most recent seizures were side effects from brain edema or swelling. We’ve been treating Mr. Carpenter with a various course of therapies including steroids, anticonvulsants, radiation and chemotherapy, but despite our best efforts and your father’s fortitude, this type of tumor grows and spreads aggressively.”

  “Surgery?”

  “Isn’t an option in his case. I’m sorry.”

  “How long?”

  “Matter of days, a week at the most.”

  Tamara gasped, and Jess saw the tears in her eyes, felt her struggle not to shed them before she finally asked, “How long has he had cancer? When did you diagnose him?”

  “As I said, your father is a fighter. Initially, about a year ago, we gave him six, maybe eight months tops and—”

  “That can’t be. Why wouldn’t he tell me this? Why?” Tamara asked, almost to herself then aimed her gaze at each man in turn.

  Jess’s heart flipped over and sto
pped for the moment her eyes found his. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, praying she didn’t put things together, praying she didn’t ask why Bailey hadn’t told him, Jax and Jeremiah about his condition, praying that she wouldn’t soon see him as an enemy to despise and mistrust.

  “So what you’re telling me is he’s dying.”

  Jess heard the defiance in her voice, as if she marshalled her strength for a fight. Definitely Bailey’s daughter. She didn’t let anything get her down for too long.

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Tamara shook her head, stood and began to pace. “But you made a mistake once. He’s lasted much longer than you gave him.” She looked at all of them in turn before peering at the doctor as if for confirmation. “He’s been up and around roping and riding like usual. He wouldn’t be able to do that and look so healthy if he were this sick, would he?”

  “Some people often undergo a surge of vitality before the end. It’s like the calm before the storm, but it doesn’t change the final outcome or prognosis.”

  “There must be something else you can do, something you haven’t already tried.”

  “We’re making him comfortable. That’s the best we can do.” The doctor put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Go to him.” And just like that, he left, his job done.

  But theirs had just begun, Jess thought, glancing at his co-conspirators and wondering who would break first.

  Tamara shook her head, flopped down onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands. She sat like this for several moments, quiet and still. Her shoulders didn’t shudder, and Jess couldn’t detect a sob or a cry. She remained so quiet and still, in fact, he wondered if she had fainted or otherwise lost consciousness.

  Then she took her face out of her hands to look at each of them, exercising the gentle force of her dark gaze, making Jess squirm just a little.

  She knows, he thought. She knows and now she’s either trying to figure out how much we know or how to confront us about that knowledge.

  Dad sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she looked at him with surprisingly dry eyes.

  Jess waited anxiously, didn’t know what to do except take his father’s lead.