Stabenow, Dana - Liam Campbell 03 - Nothing Gold Can Stay

by Nothing Gold Can Stay(lit)

  And she loved him. Tim, oh Tim, please, please be all right. Please let whoever this crazy killer is miss the fish camp. Please let him be lost and stumbling around a hundred miles from here, or on his way to Acapulco. Please let this goddamn fog lift.

  The marine forecast for Area 6 had been less than encouraging. A storm warning, south winds at fifty knots, seas at twenty-two feet, rain. The low was a hundred miles north of Dutch Harbor and moving up the Alaska Peninsula. Oh joy.

  Oh fog. Oh fucking fog. She was flying blind but for the digital readout mounted to the control panel. She watched it more than she looked through the windshield because the view through the windshield never changed, fog and more goddamn fucking fog. The little green numbers ticked off steadily, one at a time, reassuring her that she was on course and nearing the location she had punched in, that she was maintaining her altitude, that her ground speed was a hundred and five. She believed the readout. She believed it implicitly. Her faith was committed, fervent, and necessary. She might even buy stock in Geo Star. If they got out of this alive. Which of course they would, because she believed.

  The minutes inched by a second at a time, with more minutes stretching ahead.

  “Im sorry, she said suddenly.

  It took him a minute to respond, she suspected because he was too terrified to open his mouth, afraid that the physical act of speech might somehow affect the motion of the aircraft and send them plummeting down. “What for?

  “For not telling you sooner.

  He did look at her then. “Jesus, Wy. Thats not why Im pissed.

  A strong gust blew the tail around to the left. Wy corrected the attitude of the plane automatically. “Then why are you?

  “Because you didnt trust me enough to understand.

  “It wasnt that. She risked looking away from the GPA for a moment to meet his eyes. “Liam, think about it. We havent known each other that long, weve been together even less than that. I

  “I know all I need to know, he said.

  “Evidently not.

  A gust of wind shook the craft. Liam set his teeth and stared out into the whirling white maelstrom. “So youve been married before. So what?

  “If thats how you feel, why the attitude? she demanded.

  “It was Gary, wasnt it? Jos brother? The guy I met on the river last month?

  “Yes.

  He thought of the good-looking man, of his proprietary air around Wy that had so irritated Liam. “The divorce wasnt his idea, was it?

  “No.

  “Hed still be married to you if he could be.

  Her capable hands adjusted the throttle, fine-tuned the prop pitch. The Cessna seemed to respond, their passage through the vortex smooth out an infinitesimal amount. “I dont know. Probably. She risked another glance. “But. You will notice that he is not. Things end. We move on.

  “Youre starting to sound like Moses, he muttered.

  “I was pregnant, she told him suddenly.

  “What? He stared at her. “What did you say?

  He is thinking about something other than a fiery plane crash now, she thought with a flash of grim amusement. “I was pregnant, thats the only reason Gary and I got married. I liked him, I loved Jos whole family, but I had plans for what I wanted to do with my life, and they sure as hell didnt include marriage and children, not then. But I got pregnant, and I made the mistake of telling my parents, and they insisted on marriage. So did his. Pretty traditional people, both sets of parents.

  “What happened?

  The plane hit an updraft and they were borne irresistibly upward, a hundred feet in a snap of the fingers, magic. She coaxed the plane back to fifty feet, then wiped her palms on her jeans, one at a time, and tried to put her hands back on the yoke with something less than the grip of a dead man. Liam, she noticed, was looking at her instead of monitoring the altimeter. She wasnt sure hed even noticed the updraft.

  “I lost the baby, she said. “In the beginning of the sixth month. She took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out, one slow molecule at a time. “They let it rot inside me. Just rot away, into nothingness, nonbeing. My belly got smaller and smaller. And then it was gone.

  His eyes were stricken. He tried to say something, failed, had to start over. “God, Im sorry, Wy.

  “The marriage, such as it was, didnt last much longer. Gary didnt fight me on it.

  “But hes always there, waiting, Liam guessed, and smiled humorlessly when he saw the acknowledgment in her eyes. “Smart, good-looking guy like that. Why didnt you stay with him?

  “Because I was more in love with his family than I was with him, and after the baby died I realized that. It was a girl.

  “What?

  “The baby. It was a girl. They told me after one of the tests.

  He was instantly overwhelmed by the vision of a tiny Wy, all dark blond hair and big gray eyes and dimples. “Goddamn it, he said. “Goddamn it, Wy.

  Her voice was strained. “Afterward the doctor talked to me. He said something went wrong.

  “What?

  She shook her head. “He used a lot of medical terminology, but what he said was, I couldnt have any more children. She turned to meet his eyes. “Not ever, Liam. No babies out of this belly. Not ever.

  They stared at each other.

  The GPS beeped, loud enough to be heard over the wind buffeting the plane, and they both jumped. Wy looked down and saw the coordinates of the Portage Creek airstrip flashing on the digital readout. She peered through the windshield. Nothing but fog. She checked the altimeter. Fifty feet, sixty feet, fifty-five feet, she couldnt maintain a steady fifty in this wind.

  The GPS stopped beeping. Theyd overshot the strip. Climb and bank or just bank? Fifty feet in the air in winds gusting to forty was not the place to indulge in turns, however gentle, and however flat the terrain. She increased power and pulled back on the yoke. The wind slammed into the side of the plane and the tail crabbed around, but they climbed to a hundred feet. “Hold on, she said, unnecessarily because Liam would have been holding on with his teeth if he could have, and put the plane into a full-power left turn.

  The rudder fought her for every degree of turn. The wind howled its delight, slapped the underside of the right wing with all its force, the right wing came up and for a moment Wy thought the Cessna was going into a snap roll. She increased power, kept her stranglehold on the yoke and her feet firm on the rudder pedals, and prayed that the rudder wouldnt rip off. The wind had them by the scruff of the neck and they were being shaken and tossed and jostled and jarred and jolted all over the place, their seat belts and a minimal amount of centrifugal force the only things keeping them in their seats.

  They hit another updraft, a small one but strong enough to jerk the plane up five feet. Liams head banged against the window with the sudden movement. “Jesus Christ, Wy! This is gonna tear her apart!

  “Dont worry! Shell hold together! You heard me, baby, she thought. Hold together.

  The Cessna came around, slowly, screaming in every seam and rivet, but she came around. This time Wy didnt screw around, she took it down to the deck, twenty feet off the ground, flying every foot of the way, hopping the tops of trees, fighting her way around torn wisps of fog, straining her eyes in search of eighteen hundred feet of gravel strip, thirty feet wide with spruce and birch and alder and cottonwoods crowding the sides and one end ending in the Nushagak River.

  It appeared suddenly out of the mist, so like an apparition and so much what she wanted to see that for a moment she doubted it.

  “There! Liam yelled.

  “I see it, she said, and went in for a full-power approach.

  The first time the wind blew so hard and so steadily down the airstrip that the Cessna had too much lift to land.

  “I cant get her down at full power, she shouted to Liam. “We have to go around.

  “Do what you have to, he said. “Never mind me, just get us down.

  She risked a look at him and saw that his face was white but
determined. He looked like he thought he might die, but that there was nothing he could do about it.

  “Were fine, she said.

  “I know. Nothing he could do but trust her.

  They were coming off the end of the runway now, gaining altitude but not enough to lose the airstrip. They went into another left turn and the wind slammed into them again. This time they were more ready for it, braced. Wy felt like she was riding a bucking bronco, only higher.

  “You ever go sailing? Liam shouted.

  “What?

  “Sailing, like on a sailboat.

  “No, she said, working the yoke and the rudder in subtle movements, trying for the best altitude to produce the most forward motion and the least turbulence. The horizon, a mass of dark green intersecting with a mass of dirty white, tilted up.

  Liam kept shouting. “When the winds blowing, the sailboat heels over, to the right or to the left, depending on the tack the boat is taking into the wind. Why doesnt the boat go all the way over and swamp, you ask?

  She was bringing the Cessna around to a southwesterly heading before the storm blew them to Anchorage, but she shouted back, “Why?

  “Theres a part of the hull that sticks down like a sword out of the center of the keel. Its filled with lead. Ballast.

  “Oh. Right. Good. Their airspeed kept fluctuating, and she had no idea what their true ground speed was. Her biceps were beginning to tremble from the strain of hauling so long and so steadily on the yoke.

  “I never think theres enough ballast, he shouted.

  “What?

  “I never think theres enough ballast on a sailboat. I always think its going to go all the way over. It never does.

  They were lined up with the runway again, although they kept sliding north and Wy kept having to correct. She came in full power again because she didnt dare do anything else. This time the gear touched down, not just once but three times, hard enough every time so that it felt like the struts were going to come up through the wings.

  Trees flashed past, the gravel strip screamed beneath them, the Cessna keeping on the straight and narrow only when it was crossing it.

  “Wy? Liam said.

  The end of the runway was fast approaching.

  “Wy? Liam said.

  So was the Nushagak River.

  “Wy!

  She waited until the last possible moment to cut power. When she did, they had maybe a hundred feet of runway left. She pushed in the throttle and kicked right rudder simultaneously. The Cessna pulled hard right. A gust of wind came screaming down the runway and hit the tail. It raised up, enough to pull the plane up off its right wheel. The left wingtip dipped toward the ground. They were still rolling.

  “Wy?

  The gust seemed never-ending, pushing, pushing, pushing. The left wing of the plane dipped lower and lower, and they were still rolling, right toward a stand of three large cottonwoods. She cut power completely. The prop stopped straight up and down.

  “Wy?

  Momentum kept them moving. Ground loop, she thought, goddamn it a goddamn groundloop, well be okay but what about my goddamn plane goddamn it. “Well be okay Liam well be okay wellbeokaywellbeokay oh shit!

  The Cessna paused, poised on nose and left gear, the left wing barely a foot from the ground. It seemed that everything was holding its breath. Wy, Liam, the Cessna, even the wind.

  The wind died. Just like that. Stopped in mid-roar, for that precious second the Cessna needed to recover. The tail settled down, the right gear fell back on the runway with a thump, and the left wing came up.

  They were still rolling. Wy hit left rudder hard, swerving to avoid the cottonwoods, only to run into a stand of alders. Smaller trees, but still trees. The Cessna hit them hard enough to bury its nose up to the leading edge of the wings. They bounced back once from the impact, and stopped.

  They sat there for a moment in silence. The wind as suddenly started up again, a long, angry howl.

  “Youre a good pilot, Wy, Liam said finally, in a conversational tone.

  “The best, she said in a very faint voice.

  “I wonder if my heart is ever going to get back to normal sinus rhythm, he said, still in that same conversational tone.

  “I wonder if mines going to start beating again anytime soon.

  They sat for another moment, trying to grasp the fact that they were still alive, and trying to remember what it was they were supposed to do next.

  Tim. Thats why they were here. Tim. There was a crazed killer on the loose who might hurt Tim. Moses. Bill. Amelia.

  Wy stirred. “Wed better get going, see if we can find a boat. She unstrapped her seat belt with hands that did not seem to belong to her. The door was hard to open against the alder branches crowded up against it, but once the wind caught an edge she had to hang on so it wouldnt be yanked out of her grasp. On the other side of the plane Liam was having the same problem. A branch caught at his uniform, ripping a hole in his sleeve, and he cursed.

  Wy tugged a backpack from the cargo compartment and pulled it on. Liam did the same with his. They were both wearing heavy boots and jackets. She forced the smaller door shut and turned to leave.

  “What about the plane? Liam said.

  “Leave it, she shouted back. “Those alders are probably better than a tie-down in this wind. Come on.

  He paused, looking up.

  “What? she shouted.

  “Did you hear it?

  “Hear what?

  He stared over her shoulder. “Nothing. Any sensible bird out in this wouldnt waste time croaking out hellos, hed be keeping his beak shut and his head down.

  They staggered down the strip, bent double into the wind. It wasnt very cold, Wy thought dimly, and noticed that the four inches of snow that had fallen overnight had almost completely melted away. “Chinook? she yelled.

  “It feels like it, he yelled back. “Did the forecast call for it?

  “No.

  “Figures.

  The runway ended in a small berm overgrown with more alders and salmonberry and raspberry bushes. The red and yellow fruits seemed almost incongruous on such a day, hanging in fat succulent clumps from stalks bowed beneath their weight. Bears, Wy thought suddenly. “Bears, she said out loud.

  “Shit! Where?

  “Berries, she said, pointing. It was hard to get words out, the wind snatched her breath away.

  “Oh. Yeah. Right. Wheres the dock?

  “Over the berm.

  They found the path and struggled down it. It terminated in a dock, a rectangular pier surfaced with one-by-twelve wooden planks. There was no boat.

  “Shit!

  “Well, great, Liam said, more tired than annoyed. “What do we do now?

  “There has to be a boat, there has to be. Its September, theres nobody left on this part of the river except Moses. She turned and let the wind blow her ashore.

  “Where are you going? Wy, wait, wait for me! He lumbered after her, to find her wading through the brush along the river. “What are you doing?

  “Im looking for a boat, she said. There was a crash of brush ten feet to her right, a hasty scramble of feet and big body, a panicked breaking of branches; Wy didnt even look around. Liam never did see what creatures hiding place they disturbed. “There has to be one, Liam, a lot of people with fish camps leave their boats here over the winter. They pull them up on the bank and She stopped, so suddenly that he ran into her.

  He looked over her shoulder, and there was an old wooden skiff, about twelve feet long, he estimated, lying hull up on a trampled patch of ground.

  Wy was already bending down and hooking her hands beneath the gunnel. He moved forward to stand next to her. “Ready? One, two, heave!

  The boat was heavy and went over reluctantly, but Wy was determined and over it went, landing with a thump and rocking a little on its rounded hull before coming to a rest. She went to the bow and found the bowline threaded through a crossbar nailed inside the prow. “Come on, she said, and star
ted hauling.

  He picked up the pair of oars that had been lying on the ground beneath the boat and tossed them in. He pushed from the stern, going knee deep into mud. Great, there went his uniform pants. It wasnt twenty feet to the edge of the river and the boat slid easily into the water.

  The surface of the river was choppy, and the current was strong. They began drifting downstream immediately. Oarlocks dangled from twine and Liam slipped them into their respective holes. The oars went in. “Do you know how to row?

  “No, Wy said, the wind ripping the words out of her mouth almost before they were said. “It cant be that hard, though. She sat down on the thwart and grabbed both oars, pushing forward. The blades dipped in the water, skimmed the surface, splashed a lot of water around and didnt provide any thrust. She looked up, surprised.

  For the first time in days Liam felt like smiling. “Here, he said. “Let me try.

  “No, she said. “Ill get it, I just need to

  “Wy. Get up.

  Something in his voice made her comply. He remained standing, face forward, and the oars dipped, rose, dipped, rose. The chop hit the bow with regular taps as they moved smoothly forward.

  “Youve done this before, she said.

  “I like boats, he said.

  “Better than planes.

  “A whole hell of a lot better than planes.

  “Im going to teach Tim how to fly, she said.

  “Are you? Good.

  Wavelets slapped at the hull. Liam felt a coldness around his feet and looked down to see that they were taking on water. Not a lot, and not very fast, but there was some in the bottom of the boat that hadnt been there when they shoved off from the airstrip. “Wy?