Chapter 18
According to all movies everywhere, the next morning was supposed to be a haze of golden light and naked limbs, but apparently Jack hadn't read the script because when I woke up the next morning I was alone in the bed.
But don't feel too bad for me, I got at least one movie moment the night before. See, during the night I had woken up and, without even saying anything, Jack and I turned towards each other. We had stared at each other for a long while and then Jack had gently kissed me and gathered me against him. How movie-like is that?
I think I enjoyed this second time with Jack even more than the first as the whole thing was so soft and silent. I was floating in a strange world where I felt both asleep and yet wide awake. It was the asleep part which had me moving slowly and languorously against him, without any need for conversation (something very rare for me!) simply enjoying the quite murmurs of pleasure from us both. Which means, I suppose, that it was the awake part which made me first turn to him, wrap my legs around him and, oh yeah, remembered to grab a condom out of the drawer.
It's funny how much difference one night can make, isn't it? I mean yesterday my having sex with Jack was still hypothetical and now…well now I'd done it twice!
It had been different from how I had imagined it, isn't everything? But when I'd thought about how my first time would be Jack had seemed like a shadow, almost as if he wasn't really there. In reality, however, he had been so present, so completely there in a way that he never used to be.
Having said that, you will remember that as much as Jack had been present during the night he certainly wasn't there the next morning.
I lay still for a moment, wrapped tightly in his doona, allowing a whole range of emotions that I couldn't identify to flow through me. I felt almost serene, as if allowing the emotions to simply race past without trying to catch and inspect them had allowed me to be at peace with them. I'm sure that doesn't make sense so, in layman's terms, suffice it to say that I was feeling pretty good about myself and my decision the night before, oh alright I was smug!
Eventually stretching and turning my head, I saw a folded piece of paper propped against Jack's lamp. Feeling my heart skip a beat I reached out and plucked it off the cabinet. Opening it I read: Had a lecture at 9 and didn't want to wake you. Call me if you need anything. Jack.
I read the note three times over and eventually a slow grin spread across my face. It was just so Jack!
Realising that he wasn't the only one who had a lecture to get to I dragged myself out of Jack's bed and then froze as muscles I didn't even know I had pointed out that they’d had a hard night and would much prefer to just rest up for a while. Being the stoic little bunny that I am, I ignored these muscles and proceeded to wince my way through my morning toiletry routine and even managed to get to my lecture on time.
I had a great day as even the aches and pains turned out to be a blessing in disguise, providing me with a constant reminder of the activities of the night before. Perhaps it wasn't really the best thing to be thinking about during my lectures and tutes but it ensured that they weren't nearly as boring as they usually were!
I was obviously looking so pleased with myself that, as we walked out of the last lecture of the day, Adam asked me what my secret smiles were all about.
I shrugged, "I guess I'm just happy," I replied vaguely.
"Really?" he asked. "Because I'm feeling vaguely suicidal after that lecture."
"Poor, Adam," I said, patting his arm sympathetically, "Never mind it's the mid-semester break next week so you'll have some time to recover."
"Yeah," he agreed, holding a door open for me as we exited the Law building and started walking up towards the centre of campus, " what are you going to do on your week off?"
Thinking about how the first Monday of that week would be the 20th of September the smile fell from my lips. "Probably just go home and hang out with the folks," I said, realising that Matt, Jack and I hadn't really discussed what we were planning on doing. Still, it was obvious that, at least on Monday, we would have to go back up to Bridunna.
"That's probably what I'll end up doing too," Adam said easily, obviously not having noticed my subtle change in mood. He suddenly laughed and nudged me, "Hey, what kind of uni students are we? On our week off we just want to go home and see our parents. How sad is that?"
"Pretty sad," I laughed with him.
And we were both still chuckling and thinking up ideas about how much sadder we could make ourselves (including turning down a Rory party for a cheese and wine gathering, and Adam dropping out of the band so he could use that time to learn to knit) when we rounded a corner and smacked straight into a couple approaching us from the other side.
Grabbing onto Adam to steady myself I didn't realise who we'd run into until a horribly familiar voice asked, "Talia?"
Jerking my head up so quickly I think I may have got whiplash, I said, "Brad?"
And there he was, standing there looking just as shocked as I felt, with his arm around a girl I'd never seen before.
"How are you?" Brad asked, and he actually sounded discomfited.
"Good," I answered shortly, although I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just so surprised to see him. I'd completely forgotten about Brad over the last week or so.
He looked at me closely and I squirmed uncomfortably, feeling as if he actually knew what I'd done the night before. "Yeah you look good," he said quietly before seeming to realise what he was saying and pulling himself together. "This is Chloë by the way," he said, squeezing the girl next to him tighter against his side.
"Hi," I said, forcing a smile upon my face and hoping that it didn't look too fake.
There was a pause and then Adam cleared his throat and I blushed a deep red, realising I still basically had my arms around him from when I'd lost my balance. Straightening up and stepping slightly away from him I gabbled, "Oh sorry! This is Adam."
"Hey." Adam's voice sounded like Matt and Jack's had on the night he came to pick me up for the Kung Fu marathon and, when I looked up at his face, I saw that he was virtually scowling at Brad. A quick look at Brad confirmed to me that the negative feelings were entirely mutual and I barely managed to repress an exasperated sigh, honestly sometimes you wouldn't think men had evolved past the cave man stage.
"I didn't know you'd got a boyfriend," Brad said, hostility fairly radiating out of him. I stared at him for a long time, trying to figure out what his problem was and, also, whether he was picking up on some vibe that I had going. You know, an 'I slept with someone last night' vibe that made him say what he had. Deciding to play it cool I said slowly, "Well I suppose that makes two of us."
There was a pause as Brad looked at me in complete bemusement and then Adam piped up.
"I think he's talking about me," he said, and I laughed loudly in surprise and relief.
"Adam’s a mate of mine," I said, still chuckling.
"Oh." Brad looked annoyed at himself and then said, in an unnecessarily loud voice, "Well Chloë is my girlfriend."
The poor girl looked extremely embarrassed at this and I felt a bit sorry for her. All this angst wasn't really anything to do with her, so I took pity on her and smiled amicably.
"Yeah, I guessed as much, you two make a cute couple."
Before Brad could make some idiotic comment Chloë smiled prettily and said, "Thanks, well we've got to go now so…"
Picking up on her lead I nodded, "Yeah, us too. It was nice meeting you Chloë, bye Brad." Before grabbing onto Adam's arm and hustling him away.
When we'd rounded the next corner and were well out of ear shot I released Adam's arm and smiled at him apologetically.
"Sorry about that," I said with a grimace, "Apparently there isn't enough room on the planet to avoid an awkward meeting with an ex-boyfriend."
He smiled his gorgeous wide smile and shrugged. "No problem," he said easily, his tone in stark contrast to the one he had used with Brad. "So I take it that was the guy you'd broke
n up with on the Wednesday before my gig?"
"Yep," I replied shortly, before adding, "And if you're thinking 'why the hell would she go out with that wanker?' then the answer is 'I have no idea.'"
We continued walking for a little bit longer until we came to the fork in the path where we always parted ways; me going along the pavement which led towards the apartment, he going down to the rooms where the band practiced.
It was strange but the meeting with Brad, far from making me annoyed had, in fact, raised my spirits to the highest they’d been all day and, as I have already said, they had been pretty high beforehand. You see the most wonderfully momentous thing had occurred to me as we’d walked away from Brad and his new girlfriend. And this wonderfully momentous thing was that I didn't care. I couldn't give a damn about his new girlfriend or him come to that. I'd once heard someone say that you know a relationship is truly over when you feel nothing for the other person, no love and no anger, and that was exactly how I felt about Brad.
Which has truly fantastic implications for what had happened the night before. When I had first asked Jack to enter into the arrangement with me he had been worried that I was doing it to get back at or with Brad. I had been sure that it wasn't the case and now I had proof! I wasn't doing anything because of Brad, my motives were entirely pure. I could have sung!
So Much to Learn Page 33