by Rosie Harper
Often I find myself wishing that I was in Tony’s arms instead of laying next to Rafael every night. I knew that Rafael had been cheating on me for a long time. It was obvious the way he would come home with female’s perfume and lipstick on his clothes. I sat there and took every moment of it because that is how I would rather do things instead of facing the truth. I didn’t want to be alone and leaving somehow meant I failed.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My dress hung to my body and showed off all my curves. In Rafael’s eyes, I wasn’t supposed to wear dresses because I wasn’t perfectly built. I wasn’t a ‘stick’ I was ‘curvy’. He hated that about me and it seemed like every holiday or birthday I got another gym membership from him, as he told me how much he loved and appreciated me.
I was hoping to meet up with some friends today at the corner bistro. My friends would go on and on about their life, which most of the time made me feel empty. Every now and again as we sat and I listened how great their life was, I would catch a glimpse of Tony walking around as he would have a business meeting there. It is in those small slivers when I saw him, my heart would skip a beat. Rafael no longer held that feeling over me anymore.
My cell phone rang and I looked down to see it was one of my friends that I was meeting up with.
“Hi Gabby, I promise I am on my way!” I said as I grabbed my keys off the sideboard.
“Good! I can’t wait to see you! Everyone has been wondering where you have been hiding! I bet we won’t even recognize you since it has been so long!” Gabby joked.
“Gabby, it has only been two weeks since the last time you saw me.” I pointed out.
It was hard to meet up with anyone when you sported a black eye. My husband seemed to have quite the right hook, which he often used to keep me from going places. Since he was a lawyer he knew every single law and would have ruined me. I knew this without having to be told by anyone, perhaps it was because he often reminded me of the fact he would often.
My friends had mixed feelings about Rafael. Most of my female friends loved him and thought he was the greatest thing. Tony was one of the few hated him.
Today would be no different than any other time that I went with them to the bistro. My friends would ask about Rafael and how he was doing and then proceed by telling me how their life was going.
“I am sure tonight you will join us for lady’s nights and catch up in one of the clubs.”
I rolled my eyes. I hated going to the clubs. I wasn’t as young as I was used to, and besides Rafael didn’t like me going to the clubs. I was on a very short leash that Rafael restricted me often doing stuff.
I put my little silver sports car in gear.
“When are you going to get here?” Gabby asked.
“I will be there in less than ten minutes Gabby. Geez, will you be patient? I am driving down Sunrise Boulevard right now.”
Half the conversation that Gabby was rambling on about, I wasn’t even listening to. I was just agreeing every now again so it made me sound like I was listening. I pulled into the parking spot next to the bistro and got out.
“You look stunning, Naomi!” Gabby screamed, which was in surround sound since she did it both in the phone and ten feet away from me.
I smiled at her as I hung up the phone. Gabby always seemed to be the one that had everything going for her. Her face seemed to be perfect, she was well stacked in the chest department and had just the right about of booty to make guys stare at her.
“You look amazing as well! It looks like you lost some weight.” I said.
Gabby smiled as she wrapped me up in a hug. Most of the time you could tell how happy she was because she hugged everyone when she was happy. Her long fingernails seemed to embed themselves into my skin as she squeezed me.
The rest of my girlfriends smiled. I really hadn’t been looking forward to this moment of gathering and listening to everyone voice how they had a perfect life. I felt as if I didn’t even fit in any longer.
I painted a fake smile that painted on my face which was accompanied by the knots in my stomach.
“It has been such a long time since the last time we saw you! We were wondering if you would even show up!” one of my other girlfriends, Vanessa, said.
I slightly glanced at her and smiled. “I guess I surprised everyone being here.”
“We were talking all about the good times and the places we have been together. It made me think we all need to take a road trip or vacation again that are just for us.”
“I guess we should take a trip together again. When was the last time we went on a trip together? It had to be before Maria got married. Remember how we went to the Bahamas? Oh, that was such a fun trip.” Vanessa went on.
I nodded. “It seems almost like a lifetime ago. We weren’t all working crazy jobs and starting our own families back then. It would be nice if we could go back and start visiting places around the worlds while just it being us again. Where should we go this time?”
“We have to go somewhere that we can wear our bikinis while sitting in lounge chairs and basking on the beach.”
I watched as the bistro began filling up with the typical lunch crowd. Outside I heard the familiar sound of Rafael’s voice. I spun my head around to look out to the parking lot where I spotted Rafael’s car, but I couldn’t see who he had been talking to since the parking lot was already packed.
“It must be very exciting that Rafael won that high profile case.”
I looked back at Gabby. “What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Didn’t your husband tell you that he had been trying to attack the corruption in this town? I thought he would have said something since the case has been all over the news. I am sure you would be very happy of him trying to set this city right.
I tried hard to think of any high profile cases that were in the news lately, but couldn’t recall any. It wasn’t a very big surprise that Rafael didn’t tell me anything. We seemed to be more like roommates compared to being married to one another.
“Of course I am happy for him with all the cases that he seems to win. He shows me every single day how justice prevails.”
“Rafael told everyone at the office how you two are selling the house. I was a bit shocked at that one. I was going to ask you when you were going to tell me.” Vanessa pointed out.
I stared at her for a second trying to figure out when she began working for the same firm as Rafael. She hadn’t told me that she had been working with my husband.
“When did you start working there?”
“Oh, I was sure I told you. I have been working there for about six months now.”
I tried hard not to say a word, but instead I bit my cheek. It wasn’t a big surprise that she seemed to think this was not important. She had been trying to seduce Rafael since I started dating him.
“When were you going to tell everyone that you are going to sell the house?” Vanessa asked again.
I let out a hollow laugh. “I would tell you when I knew about it. Last I knew, Rafael and I were keeping the house and there was no discussion going on in moving or getting another house.”
Vanessa smiled at this. “I am sure you will be quite happy with the move. I am sure he is only keeping it a secret since it will be a gift or something.”
I did everything I could not say anything about this. How can a house be a gift? It was something major that she has been discussed! I didn’t want to move again! It was bad enough that people seemed to know more about my personal affairs than I did, but finding out I was moving when I wasn’t seem to be preposterous.”
“What do you do at the legal firm?” I asked.
Vanessa smiled. “I am a paralegal. I get to follow Rafael all day and help assist him throughout the day. It is very awarding being able to shadow a lawyer like that.”
I tried hard not to gag on the glass of water I had been drinking. The only thing about Rafael’s assistant was the fact that he slept with them and spoiled them with lavish gift
s.
“Why don’t you tell us everything that has been going on? I am sure there is something that has been going on that you haven’t been telling us.”
I started laughing as I tried to hide the tension I was suddenly feeling as I glanced at the door to see Tony walking in. My heart began to beat a little faster as we both made eye contact. He flashed me a quick smile and my face lit up.
“I am working as an accountant now and I feel like everything is going well in my life,” I said lying. I tried hard not to bring up about my husband. Why would I want to talk about him since he nicely left a mark to remember when he gave me a black eye?
I watched as the waitress seated Tony a couple tables away. I would have done anything to sit next to him compared to here with the girls. At least Tony I could be someone that wasn’t afraid of showing who I really was.
“Do you see what I mean, Rebecca?” the familiar voice of Rafael filled the other side of the bistro.
My heart suddenly dropped again as I looked through the crowded bistro to figure out who he was with and what he was up to.
“Who are you looking for?” Gabby asked.
“I keep hearing Rafael.” I pointed out.
“I am sorry, but I hate to point out the obvious I haven’t seen Rafael.”
I let out a sigh. I knew somewhere in this bistro that my husband was here, but I just wasn’t sure what he was up to. I seemed to fall silent as the girls continued to talk to one another. I knew if I could have just got up and walked around, I would have been able to find Rafael in this crowded bistro, but I knew the girls wouldn’t allow me to do that. Half the time it felt as if they were more his best friend then my friend at all. They always seemed to be covering for him, at least this past year they had been. Every time I was about to catch him cheating, they would divert the attention to one of them while Rafael snuck away.
“I have to admit my life would suck if it weren’t for you guys that are so damn amazing! We have made such great strides in our friendship and our lives that it seems hard to believe how long we have known each other.” Gabby pointed out.
“Gabby, you say this every time we get together. Can’t you calm down? The rest of everyone will be in tears before you know it!” I mumbled.
*****
My life hadn’t turned out exactly the way I had imagined it. I had been married for five years and yet every single day brought a new hell. My husband was becoming more and more of a stranger.
I looked in the mirror at the bruise that he had left from his last rampage. I hated to go out like this, let alone meet my friends while looking like this. I couldn’t keep telling them I was sick or I was busy or they would be here at the house. I didn’t want that either.
I quickly attempted to put concealer on to cover the purple bruise I had that still stung every time I touched it.
Rafael was my husband for five years. We met when I waitress at a diner. We seemed to have a whirlwind relationship back then, and now all we seemed to do was argue. This week seemed to be one of the worst weeks for our fighting. I wasn’t exactly sure why everything that I did would set him off, but it was. I knew that he had been cheating on me and perhaps that was a part of what was going on, but every time I tried to confront him it only caused a bigger fight.
My green eyes seemed as if they were ready to cry as I tried hard to rub my foundation and concealer in to make it look as if I had the perfect natural skin. At least it covered the bruises, but still I didn’t like the feeling of how I had to live with makeup all over my face because I was being hit at home. I cringed as I touched my bruised, which was a painful reminder that Rafael, my husband, had a very good right punch.
I knew reality was that he would come home saying he was sorry and that he would try to hug me. I wasn’t sure how many more times I would take him back and forgive him. Everything always followed the fact that if I was a good girl or a good wife that this wouldn’t have happened.
My life was far from simple. I had encountered a lot in my life but never did I think that Rafael and I would end up like this. It horrified me to think that I was married to a monster who seemed to try to hunt me down by slapping my face every time he thought I did wrong. He never showed remorse for what he did, but he threatened that if I tried to get a divorce he would ruin me or even kill me. I was scared of him. He never should any remorse for his action which petrified me even more. My heart told me that I deserved better, and I knew that I deserved better too, but I was afraid I would lose my life.
My eyes caught the wedding picture we had on my dresser. Rafael was a lawyer and seemed to live up to the part. He seemed to be able to justify how he treated me for the fact that I dissevered this. I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. His black slick hair and freshly shaved face in the picture was just a mask for a monster that was hidden behind it. His dark hollowed eyes reminded me that he had no soul. Never once during our wedding did he smile. I had been smiling nonstop back then, but I guess that was the fact I didn’t really know what was in store for me. He looked like he was more dressed for a funeral and someone he loved died. I guess that day as we had said our vows someone did die and that was me.
Both of my parents told me at a very young age to find someone who would take care of me. Rafael was willingly able to do that. He had been the type of man that was successful in their eyes since he was a lawyer. I look back now and realize that he could never take care of me. My heart didn’t even belong to him anymore.
I quickly put my black dress on and tried hard not to touch any of my bruises. Before I met up with my friends this afternoon at lunch, I had to go to work. I wasn’t really thrilled about this, but at least I got to spend time with Tony.
Tony had been my best friend since I could remember. He was the opposite of Rafael, but I loved him. Every now and again we would start an affair, but lately he knew there was something more going on. I walked into work late and hoping no one noticed that I had been.
The boardroom was filled with the meeting going on for the investment firm that Tony had run. Although he was a self-made billionaire, this investment firm was only a front to cover the fact he was really one of the head thugs in the area. Success came with a price and the price seemed to come with the territory of blood washed hands.
His short black hair was perfectly shaved and I loved to rub my hands threw them whenever we had been in bed together.
The new deadlines were just a guarantee of why I should have been there earlier, but as Tony’s eyes spotted me, I didn’t want to deal with the fact that I was in a drastically bad mood or the fact I was late. I didn’t want to deal with the circumstances.
I realized that at work my main responsibility was to make sure the drug money that was coming through the warehouses and making sure both the drugs and the money disappeared. Most of the time, I was the one that handled the shipments and pickups since Tony said that I was the only one that he trusted with the information. I had made it look like it was imported coffee coming for a high-end client.
“Good morning, Naomi. Where have you been hiding?” Tony asked.
“Would you like to tell me why you are late this morning?”
“Tony, can you leave it alone. I have a lot of things I am trying to cover. I don’t think I really need to explain why I am late right at this moment. I have a coffee shipment coming in and if our clients don‘t get it, we will all be in really big trouble.”
Tony let out a sigh. “This has to stop Naomi! You can’t keep letting him do this to you. This isn’t the way anyone should be treated.”
My face flushed with sudden embarrassment.
“Stop it, Tony!”
I tried hard to focus on the coffee and drugs coming in and to make the pickup and delivery become smoothly. I didn’t need the cops finding out so every detail had to be planned over and over.
“Naomi, I would like to speak to you after you finish that pickup and delivery sheet.” Tony said.
My stomach instantly twisted in
to knots. It never was a good sign when Tony said something like that. I knew this time he wasn’t going to take me in his office where we would have a love tryst going on.
I nodded as I held my head in shame. I didn’t seem to be able to meet his eyes but instead kept trying to do what I was doing.
I watched as everyone else went back to work. I finally put my papers down and went into his office. Tony was sitting behind his large mahogany desk that seemed as almost overkill.
“You really need to be on the ball, Naomi! I knew everything is going hectic, but the cops are crawling everywhere. If we make one fatal mistake it is all of us! Can you at least pay attention instead of what you have been doing? We have to hide the drugs and money. I know you haven’t been on the ball at all, but I would hate to have to get rid of you.”
I knew Tony’s lecture was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. There was I was nodding and knowing that he had been right, even though they hit home. I knew I was close to being fired because Rafael and I had been fighting again. There was nothing I could tell Tony that would change his mind, he knew how Rafael treated me and constantly he asked if he wanted him to off Rafael.
I swallowed hard as I looked up at him. I couldn’t tell him what exactly was going on at home or he would have killed Rafael and I would have lost him too. I loved Tony, even though it was an affair. I tried hard not to keep him in the middle of what was going on at home.
He looked at me as if waiting for my reply. I was sitting in the chair staring at him. I knew whatever I told him wouldn’t be good enough. He hadn’t been just my boss and lover, but he was also my best friend. He entrusted me in stuff that he never entrusted with anyone. I guess trust was hard to come by when you were a self-made billionaire and thug.
“I am sorry, Tony. It won’t happen again.” I stuttered.
“What exactly is it that has been bothering you, Naomi? I hate to get rid of you; you are a good employee when you actually have your act together. This isn’t like you! Is it Rafael again?”