by Rosie Harper
“I have things going on at home that I don’t want to talk about.”
“Did Rafael give you that bruise on your cheek? I know you keep telling me it isn’t my place to worry about it, but I love you Naomi and I don’t want to see you getting hurt. I can make arrangements to get you out of this situations. I keep telling you that you are too good for this. I wish you honestly would listen to me!”
For a thug and a billionaire, Tony could show empathy and compassion when he wanted. I often saw a side of him that he didn’t show anyone.
“I will make sure we aren’t caught by the cops,” I whispered.
“Naomi, I am more concerned with your well being compared to what is going on here. I know you will cover your tracks with the drugs, but I am afraid that at home you aren’t able to handle it.”
I began up to walk out and looked at the reflection of myself in the mirror he had in his office. My makeup had not come off. It was amazing since to the naked eye you would have never known there was an underlying bruise.
“Tony, how did you know that I had an underlying bruise?” I asked.
“Naomi, how long have I been your best friend? I have been sleeping with you for years. I know how to strip away your makeup and see what you are hiding. Your body indicates what’s really going on by the body language you tell me.”
I knew if I didn’t leave his office quickly, I was going to break down and cry as he had seen right through the fact I was trying to cover another bruise.
I nodded as I walked out the door without saying another word. I could feel his eyes still staring at me, but I refused to turn around. He often did this when he wanted me to turn around as if he wasn’t finished yet with the conversation.
It was hard to believe that someone that was a thug could see right through everything. Rafael, my husband, could never do that. Although we had our share of problems, we did once have a good beginning. I used to think that everyone had their share of problems, but our problems kept going.
It began as he told me that I was overly sensitive and I need to stop acting that way. That was the beginning of a downhill spiral in which I wasn’t expecting in our relationship. To please him, I eliminated many things from my life including my friends and family. Don’t get me wrong, I was allowed to hang around the ones I was positive he was sleeping with. I changed my whole life to suit Rafael but the more I changed, the fewer privileges I was allowed. It all led up to this day where our problems weren’t even able to be voiced in a civil manner. In his eyes, all of our problems were my fault. I was the one that blew everything out of proportion.
I guess that was what had pushed me into sleeping with Tony in the first place.
I sat at my desk scheduling the pickups and deliveries.
Tony’s eyes seemed to follow with every move I made as I continued to work. I could see him staring at me from his desk. It used to mean that he wanted me to come in for a quickie, but today his face was spelled with concern.
How could I tell him about Stacy, or the fact that I couldn’t handle any of it anymore. I knew he was at the bistro and he probably saw the same thing as I walked out. He probably saw Rafael sitting in the corner booth with a blond named Becky on his lap and nibbling his ear.
*****
The house was incredibly silent, deathly silent when I got home. I knew Rafael was hiding somewhere as he waited for me to enter the room. I had seen his car in the driveway, and I was sure he was trying to smooth everything over with Becky or try to threaten me.
It was already dangerous enough that I couldn’t escape what was going on at home any longer. The past couple days with everything going on, including what happened at the bistro.
“Where have you been? I was wanting to talk to you about what you saw.” Rafael screamed from the top of the staircase.
“Rafael, I am home early!” I said pointing at the clock.
“I am sure that’s the time you have told me for years to cover up your tryst with your boss.” Rafael pointed out.
Everyone seemed to know the tryst I had been having with Tony, although I didn’t want to admit it to anyone.
“I can prove that I was working by the work that I have accomplished today. We have shipments of coffee coming in tomorrow.”
Although I barely remember working, the drive home had been more of a blur. Tony offered me a ride home, but at the moment I was glad he hadn’t dropped me off at all.
Rafael face filled with anger and someone I didn’t know.
“There is still a lot for me to do to make up for the time you wasted since you decided to hit me this morning. It takes the time to apply makeup! I screamed. Besides, look at you with your affair and all you can do is point your finger at Tony and I? I don’t even think you should be accusing me of anything except working my ass off for my boss.”
“Give me a break Naomi! Everyone knows about yours and Tony’s affair! It isn’t a secret.”
“What do you think you want for supper?” I asked.
“Do you really want to know what I want tonight? Naomi, I want you to stop playing these mind games! I am tired of it all Kaitlin!” Rafael screamed.
I was appalled by this since I wasn’t even the one who had been playing mind games.
“I will be in the kitchen making supper if you need me,” I said as I walked to the kitchen.
My eyes began to water as I tried hard not to break down and cry. I thought when I married him I knew what love was, but that seemed to change when I began the affair with Tony.
Rafael often tried to show me that he was the saint and I was just a washed up whore that had an affair.
I knew if I started crying at the moment Rafael would scream at me for being a ‘crybaby who started this fight and couldn’t deal with reality’. I didn’t need any more screaming tonight, I just wanted to breathe.
I quickly wiped away the tears from my eyes when I heard his heavy footsteps coming back towards me.
Tonight Rafael was looking for a fight and no matter what I did, he would scream. I already knew this. I was trying hard to focus on the ingredients I needed so I could prepare supper.
“You are making that? I don’t want baked chicken tonight. Are you stupid or do you just not listen?”
I looked at him. “I asked you what you wanted for supper. You never answered me.”
“If you listened to me you would have heard me tell you that when you got home,” was his reply.
I knew he hadn’t said anything, but this was the game Rafael loved to play so often. He had said that I was the one that played mind games. Our relationship didn’t just lacked love, it also lacked respect, which he thought since I was his wife, I was his legal slave. This was how my life had been for the past five years since we got married.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you at the bistro with Becky. You seemed pretty happy with her.” I pointed out. I should have chosen my words a little more wisely because I felt a coffee cup shatter under my feet. When I began to cry in fear, Rafael slapped my face.
I knew this was just the beginning for tonight and I was tired of it. When I turned around to ignore him, I was greeted by Rafael backhanding me.
“A wife isn’t supposed to disrespect her husband at all,” he growled.
“Rafael this isn’t working anymore between us. This doesn't love and I am tired of how you hurt me. I am tired of all the other girls and I am tired of always be treated like your legal slave.” I said as I reached up and touched the back of my head.
I craved to be respected that Tony showed and gave me. I wanted to be a team like Tony and I, but with my husband, not the fact I was his ‘wife’ and his definition meant a legal slave.
“What are you saying, Naomi? Come out and say it, I dare you!” he screamed inches from my face.
“Rafael I want a divorce! I am tired of you constantly hurting me! This isn’t the way love is and should be. I don’t love you anymore and you don’t love me.”
“Do you think anyone could
put up with you Naomi? I did you a favor all these years being married to you.”
A slur of cuss words followed by the words of ‘money hungry’ and another slur of cuss words followed. My eyes began to start watering. Rafael had no idea who I was, not even after five years. I didn’t want his money or belongings. I wanted love and respect; something money couldn’t buy. I knew this, but I found it with Tony.
*****
A DEATHLY SILENCE FILLED THE TABLE AS WE ATE. EVEN THOUGH THE QUIET WAS DIFFERENT FROM HIM SCREAM, I KNEW THAT IN A SECOND HE WOULD TURN AGAIN.
“I AM GOING TO GET READY FOR BED,” I SAID AS I FINISHED CLEANING OFF THE TABLE AND PUTTING THE DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER.
RAFAEL NODDED WITHOUT REPLYING TO ME AS HE WENT INTO THE OTHER ROOM.
I NEEDED TO UNWIND, BUT THAT LOOKED AS IF IT WASN’T GOING TO HAPPEN. I WAS GRABBING MY NIGHTWEAR FROM MY DRESSER WHEN RAFAEL TOOK ONE OF HIS MASSIVE HANDS AND COVERED MY MOUTH. HE SLAMMED ME AGAINST THE WALL AND PINNED ME. WITH HIS OTHER HAND, HE BEGAN TO STRANGLE ME AS I STRUGGLED TO TAKE EVERY RASPY BREATH.
“IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE ME, I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU.”
THE WORDS RAFAEL JUST SAID TERRIFIED ME. I KNEW I HAD TO LEAVE TO GET AWAY FROM HIM AND THE ONLY PLACE I WAS SAFE WAS WITH TONY. RAFAEL HAD BECOME A LUNATIC ONCE AGAIN. I NEEDED TO FIND A WAY TO LEAVE HIM PERMANENTLY.
THE SOUND OF THE STRUGGLE IN EACH LABORED BREATH I TOOK HAD SCARED ME AS I KNEW I WAS SLOWLY DYING IN THE GRIP OF HIS HANDS. I KNEW WITH ONLY A TIGHTENING OF HIS THUMB ON MY NECK; I WOULD DIE TONIGHT IN MY BEDROOM. MY EYES WOULD PERMANENTLY SEE THE MONSTER THAT HAD KILLED ME THAT I ONCE LOVED. MY HEART WAS RACING FASTER AND FASTER.
I KNEW BETTER THAN TO BITE HIM, BUT I ALSO KNEW IF I DID, HE WOULD SQUEAL IN PAIN THAT MIGHT GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE.
THE SHRILL OF THE PAIN FROM THE BITE WAS EAR PIERCING. HE LET GO OF ME AS HE WAS EXAMINING HIS HAND THAT I LEFT MY MOUTH IMPRINT ON. THIS GAVE ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE AS I GRABBED MY KEYS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR.
I HAD NO CLUE WHERE I WAS GOING, BUT I KNEW I HAD TO GO SOMEWHERE FOR HELP AND THAT PROBABLY WOULD END UP AT TONY‘S. WITH THE SUDDEN RUSH OF ESCAPING, I LEFT MY PURSE AND CELL PHONE ON THE TABLE AND I KNEW IF I COULDN’T OUT DRIVE RAFAEL, I WOULD BE SCREWED.
AS I DROVE TOWARDS TONY’S HOUSE I HEARD THE SUDDEN ACCELERATION OF A CAR AND HEADLIGHTS BEHIND ME. I COULDN’T MAKE OUT WHAT THE VEHICLE WAS, BUT I KNEW IN MY HEART IT WAS RAFAEL.
THE GATE SUDDENLY OPENED TO TONY’S HOUSE AND IT CLOSED JUST AS MY CAR BARELY GOT INSIDE. I KNEW WITH ALL THE GUARDS AND DOGS, RAFAEL WOULD NEVER MAKE IT INSIDE. EVER SINCE WE BEGAN OUR AFFAIR I HAD A KEY TO THE DOOR, ALTHOUGH THE HOUSE WAS PITCH BLACK.
“NAOMI? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” TONY ASKED AS HE SWITCHED ON THE LIGHTS.
“NAOMI GET OUT HERE!” RAFAEL SCREAMED.
*****
RAFAEL FINALLY LEFT BY A POLICE ESCORT, WHICH ALLOWED TONY AND I TO TALK AS THE NIGHT BURNED ON. HE REFUSED TO ALLOW ME TO LEAVE AS MY MIND COULDN’T FOCUS ON SLEEP. I WAS TONY’S T-SHIRT AND SWEATPANTS HE HAD THROWN AT ME WHICH IS SOMETHING I HAD OFTEN WORE SINCE WE BEGAN OUR AFFAIR.
“I GUESS THIS MEANS YOU ARE REALLY GETTING A DIVORCE THIS TIME,” HE ASKED.
I NODDED AS I PLACED MY HEAD ON HIS CHEST. “HE SAID IF I WENT THROUGH WITH IT THAT HE WOULD KILL ME OR RUIN ME IN THE COURTROOM.”
THAT NIGHT IN TONY’S ARMS, HE MADE ME FEEL SAFE AS I ALLOWED MYSELF TO REPAY HIM THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW. MY HEAD WENT DOWN AS I BEGAN TO LAP AND SUCK BEFORE STRADDLING HIM.
TONY DIDN’T ARGUE AND DIDN’T MIND AT ALL. IT SEEMED TO RELAX ME AS I ROCKED BACK AND FORTH AS TONY GRABBED MY HIPS AND BOUNCED ME FASTER AND FASTER AS I WAS CUMMING.
IF ONLY TONY WAS MY HUSBAND AND I WASN’T HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HIM COMPARED TO BE MARRIED TO HIM.
I FELL ASLEEP AFTER THAT, BUT IF I STAYED AWAKE AND STARTED YAWNING TONY WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT THIS WAS A JOB WELL DONE.
THE HOUSE WAS BARELY LIT WHEN FIVE IN THE MORNING ROLLED AROUND WHEN I USUALLY GOT READY AT THIS TIME.
“I HAD A FEELING YOU WOULD BE WAKING UP HUNGRY AFTER THAT SEXATHON YOU HAD LAST NIGHT,” TONY SAID BRINGING IN A TRAY WITH MY BREAKFAST ON IT.
THE SMELL OF FRENCH TOAST FOR BREAKFAST WAS INTOXICATING. I WISHED I COULD DO THIS EVERY DAY, BUT I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO BRING UP WHAT HAD HAPPENED BEFORE OUR LITTLE SEXATHON.
“I AM HOPING YOU FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AND CONTACT THE DIVORCE LAWYER ABOUT RAFAEL AND WHAT HE DID.”
I GROANED AS I LOOKED AT HIM. “I PROMISE I WILL DO THAT AS SOON AS THE LAWYER OPENS UP.
AT THE MOMENT, I DIDN’T CARE THAT TONY WAS MY BOSS BECAUSE HE WAS ALSO MY BEST FRIEND AND PROTECTOR. FOR HIM TO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAD LED UP TO FINDING ME LAST NIGHT IN HIS HOUSE WAS BAD ENOUGH. I WAS ALREADY ASHAMED THAT HE HAD FOUND THE BRUISE ON MY CHEEK FROM THAT MORNING.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW WE MADE LOVE LAST NIGHT.”
THAT WAS TONY. ALTHOUGH HE WAS A THUG, HE ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT OUR SEX WE HAD TOGETHER WAS LOVE. I WASN’T SURE IF THAT WAS THE TRUTH SINCE IT WAS AN AFFAIR. HE HAD BEEN A TRADITIONAL DEFINITION OF A PLAYBOY WHO USED TO LOVE THEM AND LEAVE THEM. THAT ALL STOPPED WHEN WE BEGAN OUR AFFAIR. I BEGAN SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME AT HIS BACHELOR PAD.
“I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PROBLEM.”
“IF YOU DO THAT, YOU BETTER NOT GET CAUGHT!! I DON’T THINK THAT I COULD HANDLE LOSING YOU!” I POINTED OUT.
TONY STARTED LAUGHING. “I NEVER GET MY HANDS DIRTY. THAT’S WHAT I SEND MY MEN TO DO. THEY DO THE DIRTY WORK WHILE I STAY HERE AND LOVE YOU A LITTLE MORE BEFORE I HAVE TO HEAD TO WORK.” HE SAID AS HE BEGAN TO KISS MY NECK. HE KNEW IT WAS MY WEAKNESS.
TONY HAD ALLOWED ME TO WORK FROM THE HOME OFFICE AS LONG AS I COULD MAKE SURE THIS DEAL WENT SMOOTHLY. HE ALSO PROMISED HE WOULD TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING FOR ME.
IT WASN’T LONG I SAW THAT RAFAEL HAD AN ACCIDENT ACCORDING TO THE NEWS. I WASN’T REALLY SURPRISED SINCE TONY PROMISED HE WOULD MAKE SURE TO KEEP ME SAFE. THIS WAS WHO TONY WAS AND I WAS SURE HE CONFIRMED THAT RAFAEL WAS DEAD. HE HAD A KNACK OF OFFING PEOPLE THAT HURT THE PEOPLE HE LOVED. THE COURT WOULD DROP THE DIVORCE CASE SINCE IT LOOKED LIKE RAFAEL LOST CONTROL BEFORE HITTING THE EMBANKMENT.
I SAT THERE IN MY LINGERIE WAITING TO THANK TONY AS HE WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” HE ASKED WITH A SMILE AS HE CAME RUNNING TOWARDS ME WITH HIS ARMS OU.
I LOOKED DOWN AND SMILED. WELL, I HAVE TO PAY YOU SOMEHOW.” I REPLIED.
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO REPAY ME LIKE THIS, BUT I AM LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I LIKE MORE, WITH YOU WITH THAT CUTE BOW ON YOUR BUTT, OR YOU NAKED.” TONY SAID AS HE SCOOPED ME UP IN HIS STRONG ARMS AS HE CARRIED ME OFF TO THE BEDROOM.
I STARTED LAUGHING. “HOWEVER I CAN THANK YOU FOR FREEING ME, I WILL.”
*****
“I thought after this we should take a vacation. We both deserve it.”
I started laughing. “Are you going to give me a hint where our vacation might be?”
Tony let out a naughty laugh and lightly tapped me on the nose. “I am the type of lover who may love you but loves to keep some things a secret.”
It was shortly after we had sex that Tony had blindfolded me and we were venturing out once again into the night air. I had been scared that Tony was driving to some secluded place, but I wasn’t exactly sure where that would be. As long as he didn’t show me where Rafael crashed, we would be good.
I peeked from under my blindfold t o where the desert met the horizon.
“It was the first place I ever took you on one of our dates.”
“It still so is so beautiful!”
“Are you joking Naomi? We haven’t even gotten there yet! Just like the first time, you took off your blindfold early.” Tony said chuckling as he turned onto a dirt road that was hidden from the desert trees and went half way around a small mountain. The rest of the way he carried me onto a footpath where it ended on a ledge looking out at the desert as the sun was setting.
“You are right, this is still amazing! I never wi
tnessed anything so beautiful compared to that day you brought me here. It changed my entire life.” I whispered.
Tony smiled as we began to listen to nature.
“Good, because what I am about to do is going to scare the hell out of me. I have been thinking a long time now that there is nothing more than I want to be married to the right girl. I have found that girl in you. We both know what it is like with the operation I am running and how I try to hide it as an investment business. You don’t care. You launder the money anyways.”
“I would do it again for you! It is pretty much normal by now to do something like that. I love you.” I pointed out.
“That’s my point! I love you too and right here on this rock was the first place I took you to watch the stars and to have sex that night. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you so strong that you would mess up my life completely. I wanted to run and hide at first, but I knew I would do anything for you and I always would.
His hands started to shake as I looked at him.
“Tony, what are you up to?”
“I finally found the person whom I want to become my business partner with me. We both seem to be running from the same demons and I want everything in this world to make it up to you for the fact that I never told you how much I love you until now.”
My eyes suddenly lit up and I smiled at this sudden strong romantic streak that Tony began to have since he started describing how he felt as he held my hands. I had always wanted someone not just to tell me how they felt, but to show me how much I meant to him. Luckily this time around, I got my wish.
“I believe you truly are my soul mate and partner in crime, literally. Most people search their whole lives for something that they don’t even know if it even exists. Our affair has had its ups and downs, but I can safely say that I finally been able to express to you I how truly feel. I am lucky that you are in my life. You fill the void that my heart desires something more out of life. I promised that I will always protect you and I always will. Although I live quite the fascinating life as I dodge cops and peddle drugs as well as rough people up, I want to make sure to clarify that to me, you were never my mistress. I always loved you and always will love you today. I want to clarify what I mean as because there is so much assumption in this world. I rush home or rush to work every day just to see your smiling face as you look at me. Your eyes seem to peel away all that has happened to me and I look at you as if there is nothing you can do that will taint my image of you. I will give you my strength, my love, and my honor. I ask you today as we look at the same horizon and watch the sunset that we did so many years ago if you will marry me.” Tony asked as he slipped a ring on my finger.