“You’re such an ass,” I grumbled.
“But you still want me.” He laughed as he opened the back door and went outside with the kids, leaving me there reeling in the aftermath of what he’d done.
Chapter 24
Savannah
Today was the day. Danny and I were checking into Dalton Memorial for his final round of chemo. The doctors would start his treatment this afternoon, and in four days, he’ll get the transplant. Micha said he was planning to come by tonight, but he doesn’t check in until we’re sure we’re ready for him. Dr. Bentley assured me that four days would be enough time to condition Danny’s system, but sometimes things don’t go as smoothly as we want. In order to make sure that the marrow is still viable, we need to wait until the last possible second to take it.
“Did you pack my Chase jammies?” Danny tugged at my hand as I passed the clipboard back to the receptionist.
“Yep. I’ve got all the special ones.” I smiled as I ushered Danny over to the waiting area. This was the part I hated the most. The waiting. It seemed endless, and every time we were getting somewhere, there was more waiting.
Danny climbed up on one of the chairs, and I handed him his tablet. I never let him use it except when we had hospital stays. It gave him something to look forward to, and kept his mind off of what was really happening.
“Miss Lucas?” A nurse stepped toward us. “We’re ready for you.” She motioned for us to follow. I took Danny’s hand in one of mine, and grabbed his suitcase with the other.
As we made our way down the children’s wing, there were bright colors everywhere. Utah’s children’s hospital where Danny had his other treatment had a cartoon theme. Each room was designed after a cartoon character. Danny was none too happy when his first stay was in a princess room.
“Lwook, Mommy.” He tugged on my hand. “Theys gots Mickey!” He pointed at a large Disney mural that stretched down the hallway.
“I see.” I smiled knowing his excitement was going to end rather quickly. By tonight, he’d be throwing up hourly and I’d get very little sleep. His body was going to be put through the wringer, and I’d have to watch knowing there was nothing I could do to help him.
“Here we are.” The nurse stepped back. “I’ll give you a minute to get settled, and then I’ll be back to get vitals. Dr. Bentley has the chemo ordered for noon, so we’ll be getting you set up pretty soon.”
“Thank you.” I closed the door behind the nurse, and then went to work setting up Danny’s room. I placed his stuffed animals on his bed, plugged his chargers into the wall, arranged his favorite books, and made a mental note to request a DVD player for the TV. After helping Danny into his pjs, I pulled out the required gowns and mask I would need once the treatment started.
It wasn’t long before things were under way. I sat calmly by his side as the yellow bag hanging above him dripped the poison into his veins. I knew the end result was good, but this process sucked. Danny laid in the bed quietly watching his tablet, and dozing off.
As late morning turned into afternoon, I watched Danny sleep. He’d finished the first IV bag. There would be one more in the morning, but so far things weren’t going that bad. He’d been sleeping most of the day, but the nausea soon hit.
“Mommy!” he cried as he abruptly sat up in bed with a look of panic on his face.
“I gotcha, buddy.” I grabbed the pan sitting on the counter and rushed over to sit beside him in bed. Within seconds his breakfast reappeared. His little body heaved a few more times before it relaxed. “You ok?” I rubbed his back lightly.
“Yeah.” He nodded as he wiped his mouth. “Water, please?”
“You got it.” I moved the barf bucket back to the counter, and handed him his water cup. After a few sips, he laid back down and settled, curled on his side. He looked so tiny in the hospital bed, and my heart broke for what he was going through.
We spent most of the afternoon repeating the same few steps. Danny would nap, wake, get sick, and go back to sleep. I was used to this process from all the times he’d been hospitalized. I knew that within a few more hours, he’d settle, and by morning we could watch cartoons and relax some.
“Hey.” There was a knock on the door around dinner time. Danny was still fast asleep. Micha stood there staring like he wasn’t sure what to do.
“Hey.” I waved slightly as I stood from the chair. I grabbed a gown and rushed over to him. “You gotta gown up to come in here.” I handed it to him.
I watched as Micha fumbled with the paper gown before he stepped into the room. He stood there looking a little lost as he clasped and unclasped his hands. “I feel like I don’t know what to do,” he mumbled.
“You can sit if you want.” I motioned to the chair beside me. “He’s been out for a while, and probably will be for a few more hours. Chemo is exhausting for him.” I frowned as I watched Micha’s confused expression.
“It’s working though, right?” Micha lowered himself into the chair.
“Sure.” I shrugged. “He has to be conditioned. This is the only way that can happen. Tomorrow will be easier.”
“What’s tomorrow?” Micha took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Rest day. We’ll watch TV and play on his tablet, then more chemo the next morning.” I shifted in my chair. “After that, it’ll be your turn.”
“That’s why I’m here. I had to have pre-op stuff done. Figured I’d come see the little guy before I went home.” He fidgeted in his seat before standing, and moving closer to the bed. I watched as Micha placed his hand on Danny’s head. He rubbed lightly, causing Danny to shift in his sleep, but he didn’t wake. “It’s gonna be ok. I’m gonna protect you,” he whispered as what I thought looked like a tear escaped from his eye. He straightened his posture, and turned toward me. “I meant what I said. I’m gonna do whatever it takes to protect him.” He cleared his throat before moving toward the door.
“Micha,” I called out, stopping him. He turned with expectant eyes. “I know you will.” I pressed my lips together and nodded.
“I’ll come by tomorrow.” He waved as he stepped outside.
I watched through the glass as he removed the gown and shoved it in a waste container. He stood there for moment and then leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees. I’d never seen him so vulnerable. His shoulders shook with silent sobs as he covered his eyes with one of his hands. When he stood, he wiped his face, glanced back at the door, and then walked away. I understood what he was going through. The first time Danny had a treatment, I was wreck. As bad as it sounds, I’ve become rather numb to it now. This was Micha’s first though, and hopefully his last.
ooooooooo
Micha
“He looked so tiny and frail lying there in that bed.” I shook my head as I sipped the water my brother had offered me. I’d come to his house rather than going home because I couldn’t get the image of Danny lying there out of my head. I’d wanted a beer, but the doctor said no alcohol.
“It was normal through, right?” Max sat beside me drinking what I really wanted.
“But it shouldn’t be. He should be running around and playing like Nora,” I growled.
“You’re right, he should. He got a raw deal. It happens to some kids, but it won’t last too much longer. The doctors are optimistic that everything will take.” He bumped my shoulder. “This isn’t like you. Be positive. Don’t worry until there’s something to worry about.”
“You’re right. I’m going to go home and try to get some sleep.” I stood up and stretched.
“Speaking of going home. When are you going to get your own place? You’re still sleeping in your childhood bedroom. If you want Savannah to date you, don’t you think you need to move out?” Max waved his arms around like he thought I was going to build a house or something. I didn’t have time for that.
“I haven’t really thought about it. I like not having to worry about anything.” I shrugged.
“You mean, y
ou like Mom still taking care of you.” Max snickered.
“That’s nice too.” I laughed. “Maybe I’ll look at some rentals this weekend. The doctor said my recovery time wouldn’t be too long, and as long as I’m careful I shouldn’t be too sore.”
“I’ll help if you want, or you can take Hailey. She knows what girls like.” He grinned.
“I know what girls like.” I pointed at my chest.
“Apparently not; she’s not dating you yet.” Max laughed.
“Shut up!” I slugged him in the shoulder. “Thanks for the water.” I set the cup down on the kitchen counter. “Next time I come, I want double beer to make up for this,” I grumbled as I left.
As I stepped off the porch and began the walk home, I thought about what Max had asked. I did need to get my own place. Somewhere not too far away and close to Savannah’s apartment. I needed a room for Danny. Even if things didn’t work out with Savannah, which I knew they would, I wanted him to have a room. I’d decorate it with Paw Patrol and fill it with toys. I’d find a place that Savannah liked coming to and I’d show her that we could be a family. After all of this transplant stuff was over, I’d show both of them how right we were for each other.
When I climbed the stairs of my parents’ home, I knew that my night would be filled with dreams of the future I once wanted. All those dreams I had for Savannah and me all those years ago were finally coming true; I just needed to get her on board now.
Chapter 25
Micha
It didn’t feel like they said it would. I was told I’d be sore. I thought maybe a few aches and pains like I get after a long day at work. Nope. This was a different kinda sore. I felt like someone took a baseball bat to my hips. I could move, but I kinda limped when I did it, and sitting was worse. I’d been using a pillow for support, and I felt like an old man.
This was supposed to be an in and out surgery, but apparently I don’t heal well. It’s been two days since I was released, and I’ve finally been given the go ahead to see Danny. He had the transfusion last week, and now it’s just a waiting game.
“Are you ready yet?” I growled from the doorway of my office. Max was supposed to give me a ride to the hospital. It hurt to drive, and I really wasn’t supposed to yet.
“It’s amazing what a few days resting on the couch seem to do to you.” Max chuckled as he stood and closed his laptop. “How much extra are you going to pay me for hauling your grumpy ass around?”
“I am not grumpy.” I scowled; was I?
“Come on.” He pushed past me and strode to where his car was parked. I did my best to keep up, but ended up limping most of the way. He was being a jerk. He knew I couldn’t go that fast. “’Bout time.” He laughed when I got to the passenger side, grimacing and out of breath.
“You’re an asshole,” I growled as I jerked the door open.
“You were an asshole to me first, little brother.” Max tipped his head and stared me down, daring me to challenge him. I shrugged and kinda fell into my seat.
ooooooooo
The ride to the hospital was short. When Max pulled up to the front door, he grinned. “Go get her.”
“I’m not here for her.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m here for my son. She doesn’t want me, remember? You’ve been pointing that out for weeks.”
“She wants you.” Max laughed. “No one tries that hard to hate someone unless they want them. She wants you so much that she doesn’t know what to do with herself.”
“We’ll see.” I pushed open the door and heaved myself out. I stood there a moment gathering my balance before turning to thank my brother for the ride.
“You want me to come back later and pick you up?” He leaned over the center console.
“Only way I’m leaving is with them.” I pointed up at a random window towering above me.
“Well, when you’re in pain later, text me and I’ll come get you.” He sighed, waited for me to close the door, and then pulled away.
He may have had a point there, but I wasn’t going to let him know. I was at a hospital, a place that was full of doctors and medicine. I figured I’d be fine, and if I wasn’t, there were plenty of people here that could help me.
I stepped inside and followed the signs to the pediatric wing. When I reached Danny’s room, I could hear laughter. It was a good sign. I stuck my head around the door to see Danny sitting up in bed, laughing at Savannah’s terrible impersonation of a dog.
“Mind if I join you?” I shuffled into the doorway and looked for a gown. We still had to be careful around Danny until his system recovered.
“Daddy!” He grinned at me and made a fist pump motion in the air.
“Hey, buddy. I thought I’d come hang with you some. It’s boring at home all day watching TV alone.” I made a fake pout as Savannah extricated herself from Danny’s bed to grab me a paper gown. “Thanks.” I smiled at her as she handed it over. She nodded and then went back to where she was sitting. “I’ve missed talking to you, but I hear you’re getting out of here soon.”
“Just two more days.” He held up two fingers and grinned even wider. “The dwoctor says I’ms doing gwreat.”
“That’s awesome.” I tried to hide the discomfort I was in, but I really needed to sit. I began to limp towards the chair in the corner and grimaced in pain.
“Why don’t I go get us a snack to share? You guys can catch up.” Savannah stood from her spot on the bed. “Take my seat.” She motioned to the bed.
“Thanks.” I nodded as I moved closer.
“No problem. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.” She smiled tightly before rushing out of the room and turning down the hall.
I slowly lowered myself beside Danny. He scooted to the side to make more room and handed me a book. “Can we rwead this?” He batted his eyes at me and how could I tell him no.
“Sure.” I took the book from his hands and turned to lie down beside him. As I thumbed through the pages reading of how dragons love tacos, Danny yawned. I was tired too, but I didn’t dare let him know that. I’ve spent the better part of the last week sleeping. I wanted to savor my time with him, but my body had other plans. When I reached the final page of the story, I glanced toward his face. His eyes were closed and peacefulness filled his features. Despite being so small, I felt like I could already see improvements in him.
I set the book off to the side and lowered my head to rest on the inside of my arm. I figured I’d just rest my eyes until Savannah got back with our food. I wanted to talk to her about me getting my own place. I sighed as a yawn escaped me and then I drifted off, much like Danny had.
ooooooooo
Savannah
It felt good to get up and walk. I’ve been moving between the chair in the corner and Danny’s bed for days. I packed a bag when we checked in here and I’ve practically been living here ever since. I know where the best vending machines are, the best coffee, and the best place to grab breakfast is. This afternoon, I decided to venture farther away. Micha is upstairs, so there’s no need to rush back.
My neck hurts and back aches. It’s something I’ve grown used to from so many hospital stays. The makeshift bed I have is better than what I used before we moved. I’d be lying though if I said I wasn’t dying for the next two days to fly by. I want to get home. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want Danny to have a normal childhood.
When I stumbled into the eatery on our floor, I began taking stock of what I could carry that would be a treat. Danny’s been eating whatever they bring him, but I know he wants normal food. I walked along the warming bins and grabbed a piece of pizza, then made my way over to the cooler. They had all kinds of ice cream. I grabbed a couple of different ones. I figured Micha and I could eat what he didn’t want. After tucking a sandwich or two under my chin, I went to pay.
The walk back didn’t seem to take as long. I guess it was because I knew where I was going. “I wasn’t sure what you’d…” the words died on my lips as I saw them. There in the child-sized be
d was Micha curled around Danny and sound asleep. I pressed my lips together as my chest tightened. I had longed to see moments like this since the day he was born. I just never thought it was a possibility.
I made my way over to the chair in the corner and slowly sat. I set the food on the counter beside me and quietly unwrapped a sandwich. I knew the ice cream might melt before they both woke up, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to disturb this moment.
As I munched on the turkey, I contemplated why I’d been fighting this so hard. It was obvious that Micha loved Danny. He’d been trying to be in his life ever since the moment I’d told him he was the father. Things had just been so hectic in my life for so long, I wondered if being with Micha would be any different. Was loving him really that simple? Would things be like they were, or was I destined for pain? Micha’s always said we’d end up together, but I’m not sure I’m ready for what that means.
“Are you going to share that, or continue to eat in front of me?” His gravelly voice startled me.
“I didn’t know you were awake,” I whispered.
“I haven’t been for long.” He yawned as he slowly extricated himself from around Danny. His mouth twisted down as he shifted.
“You’re still in a lot of pain, aren’t you?” I set my sandwich down and reached for the one I grabbed for him.
“It hasn’t been bad until today. I think I just overdid it. I’ve been up walking around a bunch and I’m not supposed to be doing that.” His eyes flared when I handed him the sandwich.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want.” I shrugged as I handed it to him.
“Anything at this point. I didn’t eat lunch today,” he mumbled around the bread as he took a bite.
There’s ice cream for after if it isn’t soup yet.” I laughed lightly as I too began eating again.
One Last Time (The Stanton Brothers) Page 16