Dickensen Academy

by Christine Grabowski

  The next several hours were a blur. I still had to get through a scaled down version of the Dream Review Checklist, so in the back of my mind I worked out a revised plan.

  After Skylar’s nap, I gathered some paper, markers, and crayons and called the kids over to the dining room table. “Let’s draw.”

  Using her whole fist to grip the crayons, Skylar scribbled what might be a house and flowers.

  Aware her attention span was short, and thus, my time limited, I said, “Maybe we should all make some animals.”

  Skylar soon began drawing stick figure cats around the house. Hmm, a penguin might be kind of tough. Better try Plan B. I drew several penguins and outlined them in black like a coloring book, then I slid my paper her way. “Hey, Skylar. Do you want to color these penguins in for me?”

  She grabbed the black and white crayons and colored all but one penguin. Soon she picked up a red crayon and made a few dots. Then she picked up the blue and colored a few more. My heart raced. Next came the green, then the purple, and finally the yellow before she proudly announced she was finished.

  “Skylar. Your picture is beautiful. I love the colors.” I attempted to keep a straight face. “But why did you draw this one with colored polka dots? Penguins are black and white.”

  “It’s Polka Dot Penguin.”

  I could’ve jumped up and down right then and there. I probably would when I replayed the conversation with Ben later.

  Alex looked up. “That’s nice coloring, Skye. You did a good job staying in the lines. It looks like the one in the book.”

  Skylar nodded.

  I froze. How did Alex know about the book? Did the dream convey to her too? Her bedroom was next door to Skylar’s, so it was possible. Wow! Two people at once. I should’ve started with children.

  “I liked that book too,” Alex added.

  I turned to Alex. “Really? When did you read The Polka Dot Penguin?”

  “I didn’t. Josh did.”

  My heart about stopped. “When?”

  “Maybe a month or two ago. You were away at your new school. Josh got it from your bedroom. He must’ve read it three or four times to her. She loved it. I thought it was pretty cute, even if it was for a baby.”

  My elation disappeared like candles blown out on a birthday cake.

  ****

  When I arrived to babysit at our neighbors, the Davidsons, a few days later, I barely recognized one-year-old Roxanne. In the past four months, she’d gone from a happy, cooing baby to a toddler who’d finished the crawling stage and was now practically running. But as soon as five-year-old Brady saw me, he bounded into my arms and demanded my full attention.

  It turned into an exhausting evening. Not only did Brady want to play, but Roxanne did too. She constantly got into his way, knocking over his Legos, derailing his trains, or grabbing his trucks. Memories of Alex and Skylar when they were younger passed through my mind.

  It took forever to get them both to bed because Roxanne refused to take a bottle and kept screaming like an alarm with no snooze button. By then, I was ready to burn my babysitter’s certificate. Once they were in their bedrooms, I laid on the couch ready to zone out in front of the TV. But then I jolted back upright. I’d forgotten the conveyance. The primary reason I’d offered to babysit.

  As soon as they were quiet, I tiptoed into Brady’s room and crouched by his bedside, willing my heart rate to slow. It took a while, even with a relaxation exercise. I concentrated on his sweet face. Then I went through the steps, running through the dream in my mind. When I came to the story within the story, I picked up my book and mouthed the words once down south, far across the sea, penguins huddled, trying not to freeze…

  When I finished, I leaned over and gave Brady a peck on his cheek, as if a kiss might help seal the dream inside of him.

  ****

  I broke dream review protocols the following day. Since it was impossible to be at the Davidson’s house when Brady woke, I didn’t have a choice but to merge the two reviews and hope I could somehow get him away from his parents. Mid-morning, I took Zoey for a walk toward their house. Please be home. Lucky for me, sounds of screaming kids greeted me before I even reached their front porch.

  Mrs. Davidson opened the door. “Autumn, good morning.” It didn’t look like she was having a good morning. Her hair stuck up on one side, and dark circles had formed under her eyes.

  “Hi, Mrs. Davidson. I think I might’ve left my purple scarf here last night.”

  “Oh yes, you did. I found it on the couch. Just a sec.”

  So far, so good.

  A moment later, she returned with the scarf.

  “Thanks so much. Um…so I’m taking Zoey to the park and thought maybe I could take Brady off your hands for a little while? I know he loves dogs. I bet he’d like to play fetch with her.”

  She pressed her palm to her heart. “He’d love to. Roxanne has been fussy this morning, and I haven’t been able to give him much attention. Give me a moment. I’ll bundle him up.”

  Relief flowed through my body. I wasn’t sure what I’d have done if she’d said no. Besides, it felt good to help her out. Mrs. Davidson had always treated me well.

  Brady and I strolled along the sidewalk while Zoey tugged us faster, as if she were pulling a sleigh in the Iditarod. Brady giggled at her doggy antics while I held her leash firmly.

  “I sure had a blast last night with you and your sister,” I said. “Did you have fun too?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What was your favorite part?”

  He considered my question for a while. “Playing with my trains.”

  “Uh-huh. What else did you like?”

  “Playing Legos.” Then he frowned. “Until Roxy knocked them over. She’s always getting in my way.”

  “That was tough. But someday, she’ll be big like you and can help you build towers and spaceships.” He brightened at that prospect. “So did you like the story I read?”

  His eyes glazed over. “What story?”

  “You know, the one about the animals?”

  He shook his head.

  I had a bad feeling, so I gave him more hints. Maybe he couldn’t differentiate yesterday from last week. “Have I ever read you a story about penguins?”

  “Maybe…I have a zoo book Daddy reads me.”

  “I meant another story. Have I ever read one about baby penguins?”

  “Maybe.”

  What the heck does that mean? “Well, do you remember the color of the penguins?”

  Brady looked at me like I was crazy. “Of course, silly. Penguins are black and white.”

  “Yes. And baby penguins can be gray. Were there any different-looking penguins in the book?”

  “Penguins are always black and white. I know. I’ve seen them on Animal Planet.”

  So much for that.

  Ben was so lucky he had a brother, who was young enough to receive dreams and old enough to discuss them. I’m the one who needs a Calvin to practice on, not Ben. The logistics to arrange babysitting and follow-up visits were too complicated. I tried to console myself with the fact I had made some money, but all I could do was dwell on the entire month of December being a total waste.

  For a day I moped about, not even bothering to change out of my flannel pajamas. Mom kept asking what was wrong, but there was no way to explain.

  The following day I forced a smile upon my face. We were squeezing several activities into the week before Christmas to help make up for the three weeks of December I’d been away, so I had to get dressed and out of the house. And I’m a girl who loves Christmas. Within a couple of hours, the excitement of the holidays won out and helped push all those negative thoughts to the side…at least for now.

  ****

  My parents always rented a condo in Whistler, British Columbia for the week between Christmas and New Year’s—one of my favorite traditions. I had breathed a sigh of relief when we drove away from our house. After being on my own for four months
, being back home was stifling. It’s not like I had many more rules, but I felt the same tension that hung in the air in the days leading up to finals. Dad would often grill me about school or suggest I pull out my textbooks so I wouldn’t forget anything. At Dickensen, I had the freedom to manage my own schedule, and I’d done a darn good job. But I rarely pushed back or argued because excelling in school seemed to be the best way to prove I was worthy of his love.

  Dad was different on vacations—more relaxed—and Mom had persuaded him to allow me to leave my books behind. She’d always acted as our buffer and frequently reminded me Dad loved me as much as he loved Josh. I wasn’t naïve. Parents often fed their kids that kind of crap. And she was probably telling the truth. But no doubt, Dad would like me better if I performed to his high standards.

  This year we skied together in the mornings, but in the afternoons I’d take off with Josh. Long ago, we’d passed our parents’ abilities. We preferred the challenge of the black and double-black diamond runs, whereas Mom and Dad were more cautious and content to remain on the groomed, blue runs.

  It was fun to spend time together on the lifts without our parents hovering nearby. I chatted about Dickensen, while Josh went on about his upcoming high school graduation and college. He’d been accepted into a couple of schools, but he’d have to wait a few months to hear from the rest. He planned to follow in our parents’ footsteps and go on to medical school straight from college.

  During one of our lift rides, Josh announced, “I’m going to accept at the University of Washington, if I get in.”

  My eyes bulged. “UW. Why?”

  “It’s a great school, and my counselor said chances are high I’ll get in based on my grades and test scores.”

  “But what about the schools where you applied early action? I thought those were your top choices?”

  “They were, but now I’m leaning toward staying closer to home. I can always go farther away for med school.”

  “I thought you wanted to go away?”

  “I did. But now I’m thinking it might be best to stick nearby. Most of my friends plan to stay in state. Besides, I don’t know if Mom and Dad are ready to have two kids far away.”

  That hit me like a well-spiked volleyball. He must hate me. I had to turn away and focus on the skiers below for a moment before responding. “So you’re saying I’m the reason you want to remain in Seattle?”

  “Not exactly. But it opened my eyes to how it’d be. You’re not around for so many things. Plus eight years of school will be expensive. Mom and Dad have saved for college, but med school is on me. If I go to UW, they said there’d be money left over from my college fund to apply toward med school.”

  I let out a long breath, the vapors visible in the frigid air. “Now I feel guilty.”

  Josh shook his head. “Don’t. I’d never go there if it wasn’t such a strong school. Besides, Mom and Dad know so many doctors in the area, they’ll be able to arrange volunteer opportunities. Hospital experience is nearly as important as your GPA for getting into med school.”

  “I guess that makes sense.” My stomach still felt sick. I was the reason for his change of heart, even if there was logic behind it. “I always assumed you wanted to get away to have more freedom.”

  “You’re confusing me with you. You and Dad are like oil and water. He leaves me alone because I actually want to become a doctor. I’m not faking it, like you. And it’s not like I’d live at home. I’d stay on campus.”

  “What do Mom and Dad think?”

  “Mom would love for me to be a Husky like her. I don’t think she really wants me to go away. Dad gets my rationale. Besides, he’s always looking for a good deal. And remaining in Washington is so much cheaper. It’s where you graduate from med school that’s most important.”

  The lift neared the summit, and we pushed up the bar and prepared to dismount. The wind was biting, and it was hard to see much of anything here in the clouds.

  “Of course,” Josh said, “I haven’t gotten in yet. But I’ve applied to a few others in the Puget Sound area.”

  Josh seemed set on UW. I agreed it was a well-thought-out plan. But would he have reached the same decision if I still lived at home?

  When we arrived at the top of Seventh Heaven, Josh yelled, “Can’t catch me!”

  Thoughts of college disappeared. I was one hundred percent focused on making it down the steep run Josh had picked and didn’t want to lose him in the white haze. Maybe I could even beat him. Yeah, right…only in my dreams.

  Chapter: 26

  The bus trudged up the mountain pass, packed with students chatting quietly or napping. Snow fell outside the large windows. The timing was perfect for a ski trip since we’d only been back in school a few days, and I wasn’t yet in the studying groove. Moreover, my initial joy at seeing my friends after the winter break had been replaced with jealousy as I learned about so many freshmen’s recent conveyance successes.

  Ben had made progress with his brother. He conveyed Dream Three in which Calvin saw Santa Claus unpack gifts and place them under the Christmas tree. In the morning, Calvin gushed about his dream, and it didn’t arouse any suspicion since he had been talking nonstop about staying up to see Santa.

  As for Aditi, she had sent Dream Two to her younger brother and sister. However Aditi could only confirm the dream had made it to Rohan. She skipped the dream review with Shilpa because Aditi was scared her sister, at nearly fourteen, might somehow figure it out.

  At least Ben and Aditi were nice enough to downplay their successes in front of me, but I couldn’t say the same for some others, including Caitlyn. She somehow managed to brag to the entire class as she asked Mr. Robbins a carefully phrased question.

  But luckily today, as I shared in the anticipation of a fun-packed day, those awful jealous feelings melted away. I needed to think more like Ryan. Although he continued to have difficulties, even with all those younger siblings to practice on, he remained positive.

  Ryan leaned forward from where he sat with Ben and popped his head between Aditi’s and my shoulders. “The snow’s going to be fantastic! They’ve gotten eleven inches in the past twenty-four hours!”

  Ben grinned. “Yeah. And the temp is supposed to peak at twenty-nine, so it should last.”

  “Twenty-nine degrees?” Aditi wrinkled her nose. “Isn’t that a little cold?”

  I shook my head and chuckled. “You should be plenty warm in that outfit.” Aditi wore four thick layers and had a scarf wrapped around her neck, and she hadn’t yet put on the ski jacket she’d borrowed from a classmate.

  The bus made a slow, wide turn and bumped over a pot-holed, gravel-and-ice-covered road. We passed a sign reading Stevens Pass Ski Resort, and the busload erupted in a chorus of cheers.

  “I’ll meet you guys at the end of your lesson,” I said to Hannah and Aditi. Then I joined the rest of the experienced students as we collected our equipment from the side of the bus.

  Ryan was mind-blowing on his snowboard—no surprise—as he tore it up in the terrain park. Ben was a skier like me. Having grown up in the Northwest, he’d also skied for years, so we were compatible on the slopes. Point number twenty-seven for Ben as a potential boyfriend…not that I was keeping a list.

  Near the end of the day, in a moment of good intuition, I asked Ben to help me take Hannah and Aditi up the beginner chairlift. Ryan admitted he’d be little help on a board—just as well since the chair was two-person. I rode with Aditi, while Ben rode with Hannah.

  Right before we arrived at the top, Aditi announced, “I’m really not good at this.” Sure enough, she collapsed in a heap the moment her skis hit the snow. The lift operator had to stop the chair while he picked up her scattered equipment, and I helped her scramble away from the exit ramp. She cringed with embarrassment.

  A minute later, Ben and Hannah skied toward us. So far, Hannah remained upright.

  Ben nodded at me. “Why don’t I stick with Hannah, and you head down with Aditi?”<
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  Aditi and I went first. I led the way, checking over my shoulder every so often while she attempted to stay in my tracks. On the second turn, she wiped out again. I covered my mouth with my glove to hide my reaction. I hadn’t skied with a beginner in ages and had forgotten how difficult skiing could be at first.

  “I’m so sorry, Autumn.”

  “You’re doing fine.” I plopped down in the snow near her boots. “Let me hold your skis in place while you stand up.”

  Meanwhile, Ben and Hannah skied past us. She was able to complete some basic wedge turns behind him.

  He shouted over his shoulder, “We’re skiing to the chair! Let’s meet at the rental shop instead!”

  “Okay!” I called as he sailed away.

  “I’m so sorry you have to stay with me,” Aditi said.

  “No worries. I’ve skied all day. You’ll get it.”

  We continued down the bunny hill. It was slow going, and every few turns she fell. Skiing straight to the rental return instead of the chair seemed like a better option because I doubted there’d be time for a second run. Besides, Aditi looked beat.

  As I was helping Aditi out of her skis near the shop, Ben and Hannah skied toward us. Hannah made a controlled wedge stop in front of me. “That was so much fun!”

  “Hannah was amazing!” Ben said. “We did the run three times, and each time she improved. She’s a natural.”

  Then he noticed Aditi, soaked through with snow, and grimaced as if he’d bitten into a lemon.

  No one else said anything. Poor Aditi. She wasn’t a natural. If only we had a better way to teach her.

  Chapter: 27

  “I don’t get what I could be doing wrong,” I complained. Ever since I’d returned from winter break, I’d been trying to convey Dream One to Aditi, and it was the same each time: failure.

  Hannah, Aditi, and I huddled around a table in the corner of the game room playing Ticket to Ride. Although the room was crowded as usual on a weekend, the constant noise gave us privacy. My friends’ eyes offered sympathy, but I just wanted to scream in frustration. They had no idea what it felt like.