Dangerous Crush: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 2)

by Crystal Kaswell

  "Why?" I ask.

  "When you look like this, the camera begs you to strip." Joel chuckles. "If you were a Dangerous Noise fan, wouldn't you want a half-naked picture of one of us on the wall?"

  "Ethan and Mal are my brothers," I say. "You do realize that."

  "Okay, say Sinful Serenade." Joel cocks a brow. "I've seen you checking out Pete. Tell me you wouldn't want a poster of him giving you fuck me eyes on your wall."

  I shake my head. "He'd be watching me study and sleep and... do other things in my bed."

  "Masturbate?" Joel offers.

  Mal shoots him an incredulous look.

  Joel shrugs.

  "Yes. It's weird," I say.

  "They sold well." He looks to Kit. "What do you think. Did your virgin have one? That's got to be quite the fangirl win, fucking a guy who's poster was on your wall."

  Mal looks to Kit. "Do I want to know?"

  "Of course." Joel jumps in. "Kit bailed the other day. Claimed some virgin was booty calling him. Never did say if he popped that cherry." Joel's eyes fix on mine. "What do you think?"

  "Have you ever considered that nobody wants to share the details of their sex life with you?" Mal asks.

  "Oh, Malcolm, I just know that isn't true." Joel shakes his head with mock outrage. "The things you've told me about what you've done—"

  Mal motions to me. "This is Piper's party. How about we save my sex life for another time?"

  "Oh, you want to talk about Piper's sex life?" Joel teases.

  I try to stay cool. The drummer is fucking with me. With us. That's normal for him. What's not normal is me having something to hide. "Why would I have an opinion about Kit taking some girl's virginity?"

  "You're a girl. You were a virgin once." Joel leans back, effortless. "Just making conversation." Joel raises a brow. He shoots me an I know you're hiding something look.

  "I don't see what a big deal it is being a virgin," I say. "If it was a girl who'd had sex even one time, you wouldn't think anything of it."

  "She's got you there," Mal says.

  "No. It's a big deal, being the guy to introduce a woman to getting off with a partner. That's a huge responsibility," Joel says.

  Mal shakes his head at Joel. His cell's ring interrupts Joel's laugh.

  Mal's expression shifts as he pulls out his phone. He frowns. "Order your first course. I have to return this call."

  Mal makes a point of keeping business out of his free time.

  This call must be urgent and personal.

  But Mal isn't close with anyone except present company and Ethan. I guess he has his fuck buddies, but they don't usually call unless they know Mal is in town.

  Who the hell is he calling?

  Joel makes a show of treating Mal's now empty chair as a footrest. He looks to me. "See, this virgin booty call, at first, I thought it was a lie, a bad lie. No offense Lockhart, but I've been through this rodeo before. Even six months out of rehab, people fall off the wagon. Lie to cover shit up. Throw everything away to stay high. But I've been watching Lockhart like a hawk and he's still clean as a whistle."

  I clear my throat. "Do you have a point?"

  Joel looks between us. "Do you two think I'm an idiot?"

  "My personal life is none of your business." My voice is defensive. On edge.

  Joel looks to me. "I get that this isn't fair to you, Piper, but it's the way it is. If Mal or Ethan finds out you and Kit are fucking, that's it. He's out of the band."

  Frustration flares in Kit's dark eyes. Then sympathy. Or maybe it's pity.

  He agrees with Joel.

  But that's ridiculous.

  "This is bullshit." I can't help myself. I raise my voice to a much too loud for this very nice, very expensive restaurant volume. "I'm an adult."

  "I'm on your side." Joel motions for me to lower my voice. "But this is how it is."

  "This must be Piper." The waiter stops at our table. He nods hello to Joel then turns to me. "You wouldn't believe how many women he brings here."

  Actually, I would. I offer the waiter my most polite smile. "Joel has quite the reputation."

  The waiter chuckles. "He wines and dines 'em."

  "Really? I took him more as a tequila man." I stare daggers at Joel.

  The server takes in the tension as he sets our carafe of water and glasses on the table. "I'll give you a few more minutes to look at the menus."

  "Thanks." My eyes stay fixed on Kit's

  His eyes stay fixed on the white tablecloth.

  The server leaves.

  "Excuse me." I push myself up from the table. I need a minute away from this awful conversation.

  Joel's serenity breaks. He looks worried. Terrified actually. His eyes fill with concern. His shoulders slump. I want to hate him for his attitude, but I can't.

  He's looking out for his best friend. How can I hate him for that?

  I slip through the lobby and hide out in the women's bathroom. Between the silver fixtures, the modern paintings on the walls, and the model types making sure their dresses are taped to their fake boobs, the place screams of money.

  The model types look at me like I'm crazy. They laugh and whisper to each other on their way out of the bathroom.

  I'm as good as alone.

  But I don't feel any calmer.

  Okay, I need to think here.

  Joel won't rat us out.

  As long as Mal doesn't know, it's okay.

  No, it shouldn't matter. Kit and I are adults. If we want to fuck, date, whatever, that's our business.

  I go to fix my makeup but my purse is at the table. Fine. I do what I can with my hair instead.

  There. My heart is screaming but I look serene. I look like I belong here.

  I can do this. I march to the lobby.

  Only now Mal is leaning against the host's stand with a concerned look on his face.

  He nods to the side door. "Come on, Piper. We have to talk."

  Chapter 17

  Piper

  Fuck.

  A deep breath does nothing to ease the tension in my chest.

  I hate that I'm worried about this.

  So what if Mal finds out Kit and I are... whatever we are. I should be able to fuck Kit without it mattering to anyone but me and Kit.

  I know that isn't the case.

  I know Joel is right. Maybe he's not right about how bad things will get, but he is right about this causing a shit storm.

  As much as I hate that anyone has an opinion, I care about Kit, and I don't want to fuck things up for him.

  I'm going to throw up.

  Mal's eyes are filled with frustration. It's not like him. Usually, he's stoic. Usually, he hides everything that upsets him.

  I take even steps as I follow him out the side door.

  We're in a narrow alley. It's quiet. It's particularly clean.

  I guess Beverly Hills even has classy alleys.

  My brother looks taller and broader than normal.

  He'd beat Kit in a fight, hands down. Not that Kit would punch back.

  My heart is thudding against my chest. Another deep breath does nothing to calm me.

  Mal's shoulders stiffen. His entire body locks up. He stands as straight as an arrow.

  His eyes bore into me.

  I brace for the I know about you and Kit and he's already out of the band.

  Instead, Mal's voice drops. His eyes go to the street. "That was Mom."

  What? I study my brother's expression. There's no menace in it. His knuckles aren't bloody or bruised. His voice is even.

  "We haven't talked about Mom in forever."

  "They're happy for you. About school." He smiles, but he isn't selling it. "They're going to be home next week."

  "That's nice." I should be relieved that Mal doesn't know about me and Kit—not that there's anything to know—but I'm not. Already, I taste acid in my throat.

  "They're winning a science award."

  I stare back at Mal.

  "They
want us to go to the ceremony."

  "Good for them."

  "I'm going. Ethan's going—"

  "Bullshit."

  Mal pulls out his phone and shows off the evidence— a one word text from Ethan.

  Ethan: Fine.

  I fold my arms and hold my brother's gaze. "He seems enthusiastic."

  Mal stares back at me.

  "They couldn't interrupt their last research trip to make it to my high school graduation. I'm not going."

  I should be jumping for joy that Mal only wants to talk about our parents. That I haven't fucked up shit for the people that matter the most to me.

  But I still feel sick.

  "It will be three hours. Go." Mal's expression gets hard.

  "No."

  "Piper."

  "Malcolm."

  His eyes turn down. "Don't you want to be a family?"

  No. Not with Mom and Dad.

  Mal stares back at me.

  I stare back at him.

  The alley is so quiet I can hear my heavy exhale. I can hear Mal's calm inhale.

  One street over, there's a car turning on and pulling away.

  Here, Mal waits patiently for me to come to my senses.

  He stares with that intense I know best stare of his.

  I try to hold his gaze, but I can't quite manage it. My eyes go to the asphalt. To the sky. To the side door.

  Fine. I'll break the silence. "There's nothing you can say to convince me to go."

  "Then you're not going to Europe with us."

  My stomach twists. How can he lord that over my head after making such a big deal about inviting me?

  "Piper."

  "Fine. Then I'm not going to Europe." Who wants to see Paris, London, and Madrid anyway? It's not as if I'll have time for a vacation if I'm scurrying to move the fuck out of my asshole parents' house. "They've never gone to a Dangerous Noise show. Not one. It was the same for all the other bands. For Ethan's talent shows. For your high school graduation. And you're loyal to them?"

  "They're still family."

  I shake my head. They're not. "I'm not having this conversation." I take a step backwards. "I'm leaving."

  Mal's expression gets concerned.

  "I'll call a cab." I take a step towards the street. "But I'm not going home. Not tonight."

  "Piper—"

  "I'm not changing my mind about this."

  I expect him to fight me, to follow me, to insist I'm being a fool.

  He doesn't.

  He lets me go.

  I should be relieved about that too, but I'm not.

  I'm halfway to the valet when I realize I don't have my purse.

  I move into a boxer's shuffle (difficult in heels) and psych myself up to march back into the restaurant.

  A tear rolls down my cheek. Mal is siding with our parents. Ethan is siding with Mal. Joel is loyal to Kit.

  Nobody is loyal to me.

  This boxer's shuffle is exhausting. My ankles are killing me. I lean against the concrete wall. It's cold against my butt and back.

  Another tear rolls down my cheek.

  This time, I wipe it away. If I'm going to cry, I'm going to do it someplace sensible. I have to hold it together for long enough to get someplace sensible.

  Okay. I can do that.

  I steel my nerves, turn the corner, and march to the door.

  And there he is, stepping outside.

  Kit.

  He's holding my purse.

  His other hand is in his back pocket.

  His dark eyes are still filled with frustration.

  He slides his arm around my waist and whisks me around the corner. A camera flashes in my eyes. A paparazzi. This place is a celebrity hang out.

  Kit ignores it. He leans in to whisper in my ear. "You want to talk?"

  "Not here."

  His grip on my waist tightens. He pulls me closer. Then his other arm is around me and his breath is warming my neck.

  God those arms feel good.

  I rest my head on his chest and soak in all the warmth of his body. A million questions fill my head— what the hell does this mean? Did he say anything to Joel? Does Mal know he's out here with me? Holding me?—but none of them seem as important as how good it feels in his arms.

  "I can't go home right now." I press my lips together. "I can't even look at Mal."

  He nods. "You can come home with me." His voice is caring, not seductive, but the words still set my body on fire.

  "But Mal and Joel and—"

  "I'll take care of it." He pulls back enough to look into my eyes.

  There's an apology in his gaze.

  But the words I'm sorry don't fall from his lips.

  Neither one of us says anything. But it's not like the stare down with my brother in the alley. This isn't a power play. This isn't full of who knows best tension.

  This is not at all familial.

  Or platonic.

  Kit is staring into my eyes like he's staring into my soul.

  Like my happiness means more to him than anything else.

  He brushes a stray hair from my eye. He leans close enough to kiss me.

  His lips go to my ear instead. "I came in a cab."

  I nod. I don't care how we leave. Just that we get to his place.

  Alone.

  Kit pulls back enough to hail a cab.

  I'm getting ahead of myself.

  But that doesn't stop my head from filling with ideas of his body locked with mine as I slide into the backseat.

  Chapter 18

  Kit

  Outside the cab, the city whizzes by.

  Inside, Piper rests her head on my shoulder. She wipes her tears on my sleeve.

  I try to keep my hands to myself, but my right hand finds hers.

  We're holding hands.

  It's like high school.

  Except this isn't a high school crush.

  My nerves have nothing to do with her being a pretty girl.

  They have nothing to do with how adorable her innocence is.

  I care about her. Deeply.

  I hate that she's hurting. That I have anything to do with her hurting.

  She squeezes my hand. Her breath is steady now. It's not strained. She's comfortable in my arms.

  Comfortable with this silence.

  It's different.

  Good different.

  I hold her for the entire twenty minute drive.

  Piper stays calm as we get out of the cab and step into my building.

  I slide my arm around her waist to lead her into the elevator.

  She wraps her arms around me and buries her head in my chest. "Promise me something."

  "Yeah?" I run my hand through her hair.

  She lets out a soft purr as she tilts her head back. Her voice is low, needy. "You can't run off again."

  I drag my fingers through her long hair. "I promise."

  The elevator's ding announces our arrival.

  My hands are trained enough, they're steady. I lead her to the apartment then lock the door behind us.

  The high ceilings feel low tonight.

  The big, open room feels small.

  There isn't enough space in here for how badly I want her.

  For how deeply I care about her.

  I break our touch to move into the kitchen. "You must be hungry."

  She shakes her head. "Not anymore." She moves to the couch, takes a seat, and slips out of her heels.

  "You should eat."

  "Later. I'm too angry right now." Her eyes go to the floor. "Or maybe too disappointed."

  Fair enough.

  I pour two glasses of water and bring one to her.

  She looks up at me as she wraps her fingers around the glass.

  Her lipstick leaves a pink stain on the glass.

  I shake off my thoughts of where I'd like her lips.

  "You want to talk or you want to find some TV show that will drown out your thoughts?" I take the middle cushion on the couch
. I'm close enough my knee touches hers.

  "No TV. My head is buzzing." She downs half her water and sets it on the coffee table. Her eyes meet mine. "Did Joel say anything else?"

  "Nothing important."

  "Oh." She folds her hands in her lap. "I... I don't know where to start. I should be relieved that Mal didn't announce he was kicking you out of the band."

  "Don't worry about me."

  She shakes her head. "You're my friend. That's what friends do. And with everything... I don't want to get in the way of your life."

  She doesn't. Right now, she's the best thing in my life.

  But that doesn't mean this should happen.

  "Tell me what happened with Mal," I say.

  Her gaze fixes on the downtown skyline. "It was a stupid fight. Mal took our parents side. I don't understand that. They bailed as soon as he was old enough for it to be legal. They skipped his graduation. And mine. They didn't even notice Ethan dropping out. They haven't been to one of our events since I was ten. Younger even. And Mal was willing to uninvite me from your festival tour—"

  "Mal invited you to come to Europe with us?"

  "Then he took it away." She pushes herself to her feet and moves to the window. "This is why I need to do something practical. Like Violet, studying math."

  "Violet loves math."

  "Yeah. She's lucky. I'll have to find a way to love something practical." She presses her lips together. "As long as you rely on someone, they can hurt you. They can lord everything they have over you."

  "That doesn't mean they will."

  "I didn't think Mal would. He gave me a suitcase and a card then he took it away to get what he wants." She sighs and takes a seat on the windowsill. "I have to move out. I can't live at my parents' place anymore. Not after this."

  "Give it the weekend."

  "Maybe." She presses her back against the window as she turns towards me. "They pay my tuition. All my expenses. Everything."

  "It's okay to rely on people."

  Her blue eyes find mine.

  "Not if it means I have to pretend it's okay they abandoned me." She blinks back a tear. Then another. "The only job that will pay enough for rent and tuition involves a pole and platform heels."

  "Over my dead body."

  "You can't stop me from stripping."

  I push off the couch and close the distance between us. "Yes, I can."