Not like I need the reminder that my parents had their shit together once.
Not like I need the reminder that we aren't a family anymore.
The master bedroom is still at the end of the hall. I'm sure Mom's stash is somewhere in her bathroom.
I roll my shoulders back. An opiate high has a certain appeal— it's warm, comfortable, safe—but I still don't want it.
It's not just that I don't want the consequences.
I don't want to be high. I don't want to be out of it. I don't want to be running away from my thoughts.
I turn. It's four steps to my bedroom and the door is already open.
What the hell?
There's a woman in my bed.
I've had crazy fans before, but none got into my house. Or maybe they did and I was too high to realize it.
But there's no way anybody found my parent's place and got past the security. This is a gated neighborhood.
I flip on the light.
The woman stirs.
Shit.
That's not any woman. That's Piper.
She blinks a few times then her blue eyes are fixed on me. She pushes her messy dark blond hair behind her ears. "Hey."
"What are you doing here?"
"Working on my booty call skills." Her voice is half teasing, half tired. She lowers it to something half teasing, half seductive. "Come lay next me. I'm not wearing any panties." She gives me a long once-over. "You're not wearing much either."
"Piper—"
"Joel grabbed the spare key. From the turtle? I'm not sure. We drove all night. All morning I guess."
"Joel's here?"
"In the guest room."
"There are two."
She laughs. "He suggested otherwise."
I chuckle too. Joel fucking with me is something I can count on. It's annoying but I appreciate the consistency. Makes me feel normal.
Every part of me wants to get in bed with Piper. But I'm not going to play with her feelings.
"You realize I dumped you." It's blunt but that's necessary.
Her eyes get fierce, determined. "I'm here as your friend."
I cock a brow.
"Okay, I guess friends don't make booty calls, but you can't blame me. You left before I could finish." She blushes. "I'm still wanting."
"It's been twelve hours."
"More." She presses her lips together. "Someone should be here for you."
"Joel is."
"Joel won't hold your hand."
I'm not sure about that, but I see her point.
"Joel won't let you cry on his shoulder."
That, I know she's wrong about. "I'll sleep on the couch."
"If you want." She rests her head on the pillow. "I can't keep my eyes open much longer. But I... I'd like it if you joined me."
I want to, but this can't change things. "Piper, you know—"
"I know."
"Don't want to lead you on."
"Any physical contact will be strictly of the booty call variety." She looks up to grin then her head hits the pillow. "I don't want to play this card, but Mal and Ethan tried to talk me out of coming here. So you'd be proving them wrong if you thought it was a good decision."
I chuckle as I sit on the bed. "You really should think about getting into law, PR, or marketing. You've got good spin."
"Thanks." She arches her back, shifting on the bed to make room for me. "I'm feeling a little desperate, so I won't ask again."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You already did." Her voice drops to a low murmur. "But I forgive you."
"Yeah?"
"That's what friends do."
"You didn't forgive Rory."
"She's a bitch." Piper laughs. "Plus, she's not as hot as you."
"And you still want to get in my pants?"
"I'm only human." She arches her back and lets out a needy sigh.
She wants my body next to hers.
Hell, she still wants to come on my hands.
Fuck, the things I could do to her...
I'm not gonna fuck, Piper, but I am going to hold her. Maybe we'll feel worse tomorrow. Right now, it's what we both need.
I slide my arm around her waist and pull her body closer.
She lets out a low sigh.
It's an I want you sigh.
My cock begs me to take over.
I tell it to get lost.
I want to fuck her, yeah, but I want to hold her more.
She nestles into my body. "Is your mom okay?"
"Right now."
"Are you okay?"
"I will be."
"Good. You... what was it you said that night? 'You're my friend and I'd hate if something happened to you.'"
"Something like that."
"It's true." She interlocks her fingers with mine. "I really would hate it if something happened to you."
Her breath slows as she falls asleep in my arms.
Chapter 35
Kit
It's afternoon when I wake. Piper is still in my bed, in my arms.
I push aside my concerns about how fucked this is—if we aren't together, I shouldn't be holding her like this—for long enough to drag myself out of bed, get dressed, and head to the kitchen.
Joel is sitting at the oak dining table, nursing a cup of coffee. The brightness of his grey-green eyes suggests this is his third or fourth cup.
He nods to the coffee maker. "More where this came from." His voice is even.
Unusually even.
Joel's being normal.
That's fucking weird.
I pour myself a cup of coffee and drink it black. Joel turns towards me, his eyes on me.
"You let her sleep in your bed," he says.
"Yeah."
"Why the fuck did you do that?"
"Why'd you tell her to sleep in my bed?"
"Cause you're a fucking idiot."
I arch a brow.
"Everybody knows what's happening now."
"I figured."
"She told me everything on the way up. Probably said more than she wanted to. It was late and we were tired."
I nod. "Figured that too."
"Then you know why I put her in your bed."
"I don't need your help."
"Yeah you do." He takes a sip of his coffee. "You care about her. She cares about you enough to drive with me all night. And we both know how fucking annoying that must have been for her."
I have to chuckle. Joel can be overbearing, but he wears it with pride.
"Pretty embarrassing for me, singing along with all her CDs." He shakes his head. "Fuck knows there's a reason why I don't sing backup."
Again, I chuckle. Talking like this with Joel feels normal.
He looks up at me. "I get that you want to protect her. She's a sweet girl. I want to protect her too. But she loves you, Kit. Or something close. She's not a fucking child. You need to let her make that decision for herself."
I say nothing.
"Unless that was bullshit." He mutters under his breath. "Sounded like bullshit to me." He shakes his head and looks back to me. "If it was bullshit, and you were too fucking cowardly to own that you didn't want to be with her... then fucking own that."
"It's not."
"Then you're a fucking idiot." He gets up and pulls me into a hug. "I get it." His voice gets serious as he steps backwards. "But fucking fix it. Or I'll be the bandmate who kicks your ass for breaking Piper's heart."
After Piper wakes, we have a quick breakfast slash lunch and take her car to the hospital.
Joel hangs a few steps behind us.
Piper stays close. She squeezes my hand as we walk through the automatic doors.
This time, we're in the right waiting room. With the soft afternoon light bleeding through the windows, the place isn't as bleak or blinding.
It's visiting hours. We go straight through the double doors, to my mother's room. My phone is still dead—never did find my charger—but Dad should k
now we're on our way. Joel took care of that.
We stop outside her room, in the hallway. Dad is sitting in one of the chairs against the wall, his back to us. Mom is sitting up in bed, in a hospital gown. She's awake now. She looks better than I'd expect. Her chestnut hair is messy and her skin is pale, but she doesn't look sick. She doesn't look like someone who nearly died yesterday.
Piper rubs the back of my hand with her fingers. The affection in her touch breaks up the tension in my shoulders. Joel was right about one thing—she cares about me, maybe even loves me.
Maybe he's right about the rest. I'm a mess, yeah, but if she knows that... if she knows I might weigh her down... then how can I tell her she shouldn't choose to be with me?
I want to be with her.
I chose to be with her even when I knew it might be the end of being in Dangerous Noise.
She rises to her tip toes to whisper in my ear. "You ready?"
Never going to be ready. I nod anyway.
She offers me a you can do it smile as she pulls the door open.
"I'll wait out here." Joel nods to a chair in the hallway then he takes a seat.
Everything else falls away as I step into the room. It's like things are moving at slow motion. I can hear every beep of the heart rate monitor. I can see every place the sun is casting glare.
I can see every expression flitting over Mom's face.
"Christopher." Her voice is shaky. "Your father mentioned you were coming. But I didn't..."
The implication is clear. She didn't think I would come.
I nod. "We got up late."
"He was here all morning." Dad offers his hand to Piper. "Keith. Nice to meet you."
She shakes. "Piper Strong."
Dad shoots me an attaboy look. He turns to Piper, offering her a charming smile. "It's nice to meet a friend of Kit's. Or are you two—"
"Not the time," I cut in.
Dad smiles. "True." He turns back to Mom. "Do you want me to catch him up?"
She shakes her head. "I will." She sits up straighter. Her dark eyes fix on mine. "I had my psych evaluation this morning. I'm going to be released soon, probably tomorrow."
Figures. My heartbeat picks up. I don't like the implications.
Piper moves closer. She rubs the back of my hand with that same affectionate touch. It's like she's telling me it's going to be okay.
Somehow, I believe her.
Mom purses her lips. She looks to the blanket on her lap. "It was an accident. The psychiatrist could see that. She recommended a treatment program. I said no at first. But..." She looks up at me. "I'm starting in a few days."
What? I blink a few times. Mom is going to rehab? But...
"I'm not sure that it will work. The first time, I only made it three months." She looks to me with a weak smile. "How long has it been for you."
"Eight months now. Maybe nine." I press my palm against Piper's. It sounds like an eternity but it's gone fast.
Mom blinks back a tear. Then she's wiping her eyes with her thumb.
Dad offers her a tissue.
She nods thank you, takes it, and dabs her eyes. "I'm so proud of you, Kit. You..." She shakes her head. "You shouldn't be the one inspiring me, but you are." A tear rolls down her cheek. Another. She stops trying to catch them. "I'm lucky to have such a strong son."
I shake my head, but I manage to keep my mouth shut.
"She's right," Piper says. "You are strong. And you take your recovery seriously. I'm never in the fray, but I've been on the sidelines for a long time. I've seen Mal and Ethan lose other friends..." She presses her lips together. "But I never worry that will happen to you."
Mom's eyes are streaked with tears. She looks to Piper. "I'm glad my son has such a supportive girlfriend. Honesty is important. That's what Keith and I... that's what did us in."
That and his inability to keep his dick in his pants.
Mom motions to Joel. "He can come in if he wants." Her eyes get wide. "Joel looks the same as always. Is he the same?"
I nod. "Only with more notches on his belt."
"You shouldn't talk about that in front of your girlfriend," Mom says.
Piper blushes.
Mom smiles. I'm sure it's because she thinks Piper is my girlfriend, but I'm glad she's smiling all the same.
Is this really happening?
Is Mom really going to rehab?
It's hard to believe she's making an effort. Harder to believe that she'll really be okay.
"There are a lot of practicalities to discuss," Mom says. "Your father is going to be home more."
"But I still have to travel for business," he says. "We're thinking about a sobriety companion."
That is serious.
"I have another meeting with my counselor soon." Mom looks from Piper to me. "Why don't you buy your girlfriend a cup of coffee? Or dinner. We need a few hours." She stage whispers. "She's very pretty."
Again, Piper blushes.
"She's smart too. And talented. She's an actress." She's a lot more than pretty, though she is fucking beautiful. And, more importantly. "We're not—"
"Coffee would be great." Piper looks up to me. "If you need some time alone, I can get one with Joel."
Mom shakes her head. "Don't give her a chance to realize how charming Joel is."
Piper laughs. "He definitely has a unique charm."
After a few rounds of goodbyes, and a setting a post-dinner meeting time, we step into the hallway.
Joel looks up at us and raises a brow.
I'm about to go explain when Piper leans in to hug me.
She wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight.
I'm shaking.
I had no fucking idea I was shaking.
"Are you okay?" she whispers.
No. But, for the first time, I believe I'm gonna get there.
After we update Joel, he makes an obviously fake excuse about needing to make a call.
Piper and I get coffee at the cart in front of the building, mine black, hers full of cream and sugar.
She lets out a sigh of pleasure as she takes a sip. "I need this caffeine." Her lips curl into a smile. "Is there anything better than coffee when you're dead tired?"
A few things. The smile on her face, for starters. The way my body feels light and warm around her. The way she blows away all the ugly grey clouds obscuring the blue sky.
It's a nice day today. Warm. Sunny. Not a single cloud in the blue sky.
I know she can't control the weather, but it feels that way.
She stakes another sip of her coffee and lets out another sigh. "Yours good?"
It's okay coffee. Her company makes it great. "It is."
"You must be tired. You only got a few hours of sleep."
"You too."
She nods. Her blue eyes fill with affection. She looks at me then looks to the courtyard around the corner. "Should we sit?"
"Sure." I take her hand to lead her down the concrete path.
The courtyard is tiny—two concrete tables with concrete benches, half a dozen rows of purple and pink flowers—but it's perfect. It's like her, a bright spot in an otherwise dreary day.
I know it's a gorgeous, sunny day, but this whole fucking thing is ugly and grey.
She's been the sunshine in my life all year.
I left her place thinking my heart was dust. It's okay. If anything, the glue holding it together is fused in place.
I'm in one piece.
I really believe I'm going to stay that way.
Maybe that's enough...
She takes her seat on the concrete bench, sets her coffee on the table, and pats the spot next to her.
I sit. Even through my jeans, the concrete is cold. But she's warm. She takes my arm and rests her head on my shoulder.
Her voice is soft, sweet. "You should be the one with your head on my shoulder."
"I like it like this." I run my fingers over her palm, reveling in the way it makes her lips twitch with need.
> "Still, I should be the one supporting you. Helping you."
"You are."
"Good." She looks up to the sky, taking in the sun, and lets out another sigh of pleasure. "It's a nice day."
It is now.
She looks up at me. "I hate to ask what you're thinking. Okay. How about you tell me, so I don't have to?"
"Think that counts as asking."
She laughs. "Technically—"
"You said 'how.' That's a question."
"Maybe."
I chuckle. "You sure you don't want to get into law?"
She nods. "Positive."
I run my fingers over her palm and up her wrist. "We were a family once. It was a long time ago, but I remember it. Remember we were happy."
"I'm sorry you don't have that now."
"Yeah." I turn so I'm looking into her eyes. "If I could erase all this, every fucking thing, I don't know that I would."
Her brows knit. "Huh?"
"Say erasing the happy times would also erase my mom using."
She nods. "Say it would."
"I don't think I'd do it."
"That would erase a lot of pain. You wouldn't have to think about it?"
"I'd have to think, yeah, but I wouldn't take anything away. I don't think she'd do it either."
Piper is staring into my eyes, following my every word.
"If erasing the last seven months talking with you was the only way to erase some shitstorm that comes ten years from now... I wouldn't do it."
"What do you mean?"
Words aren't getting the point across. Words aren't enough, period.
I bring my palm to her cheek, I lean in, and I press my lips to Piper's.
Fuck, she tastes good. Like coffee and sugar.
And home.
She melts into the kiss, all that affection pouring into me.
It's clear as day. I need her. I won't fucking survive without her.
When she pulls back, she stares into my eyes.
"Fuck, wrong order." I need to explain this.
She smiles. "I'm okay with that."
I run my fingertips over her cheek. "I love you, Piper. I love that you're sweet and stubborn. I love that you see the good in people. I love that you came here even though I told you not to."
Dangerous Crush: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 2) Page 25