"Everyone else told me not to."
"I fucking love that about you." My smile spreads over my cheeks. "You knew what I needed. I hate that you put that in front of what you needed, but—"
"No." She shakes her head. "I needed to know you were okay. I needed to be here to hold your hand. That's what I needed."
"I dumped you."
"You were still my friend." Affection fills her blue eyes. "I'll always care about you."
"I still think I'm a mess. I still think you'd be smart to find a guy who isn't as fucked up, but that isn't what I want anymore."
"What do you want?"
"I want you to be mine."
She takes in my words with a nod. Then her eyes are fluttering closed and she's pressing her lips to mine.
Her tongue slides into my mouth. Her hands dig into my hair. She kisses me hard and deep, like she knows this is where she belongs.
She pulls back with a needy sigh. "Wrong order." She laughs.
"What comes first?"
She drags her fingertips over my cheeks and along my chin. Her eyes get bright. "Maybe you're a mess, but I'm a mess too. And maybe you're right and I'm better off finding someone else. But I don't believe that. And I don't care. I don't love some other guy." She smiles. "I love you, Kit. I want you to lean on me, because I know, one day I'm going to have to lean on you. That's love—two people helping each other get through everything life throws their way."
She leans in and kisses me again. It's a deep, steady kiss. It's the kind of kiss that inspires love songs and sonnets. It's a kiss that convinces me I deserve her.
Epilogue
Piper
It smells like coffee downstairs, but that isn't my favorite thing about waking up here. The artfully decorated Christmas tree, with its homemade ornaments and its rainbow string lights is a strong contender.
And that Kit's parents are upstairs in the guest room.
Our guest room. It's our apartment now, even if I technically crash at my parents' place on nights when I stay at school late.
My favorite thing about waking up here isn't the tiny present under the tree, the one with the raspberry wrapping that perfectly matches my rolling duffel.
It's the sight of Kit. He's standing in the kitchen in jeans and a snug t-shirt, a cup of coffee in his hands, a smile lighting up his expression.
It's the way he still looks at me like I'm his favorite thing in the world.
I also like seeing that couch, the place where we had our first kiss and our first fuck, every day.
But nothing can compare to all the joy in his expression.
He moves close enough to hand me a cup of coffee and plant a kiss on my lips. "You look cute in those pajamas."
I do look cute in my hot pink flannel pajamas, but that's not why I'm blushing. It's the tone of his voice, the way it reminds me that he still doesn't sleep in pajamas.
That I'm only sleeping in these pajamas because his parents are staying with us.
Fuck, he's looking at me like he's thinking about ripping off my pajamas.
"Thank you." I take a long sip of my coffee. It's good black. I add enough cream and sugar to make it perfect. It's so perfect I let out a low, deep moan after my next sip.
He cocks a brow. "Should I be jealous?"
"Maybe." I take another sip. This time, I play up my moan.
Kit pries my fingers off my cup, one by one. He takes the mug and sets it on the counter. Then he's pulling me into his arms and planting a slow, deep kiss on my lips.
His tongue slides into my mouth.
His palms press into my lower back.
He's so much better than coffee.
I sigh as our kiss breaks.
He smiles, triumphant, and nods to my mug. "Careful with that thing. My parents are upstairs. And I know you're incapable of keeping it down."
Heat spreads over my torso. The man knows how to play me like an instrument. He should. He has his hands on me nearly as much as he has them on his bass guitar.
"I could try." I polish off my coffee. "But I doubt it's going to happen."
He brushes a stray hair behind my ear. "You're my expressive thespian."
"No one says thespian."
"Teenage boys say it."
"Because it rhymes with lesbian."
His smile widens. "They still say it."
"And I'm the one who should be a lawyer." I leave my cup on the counter so I can get both my hands in his thick hair. I look up into Kit's dark eyes. "This is already my favorite Christmas ever and it's only eight-thirty."
"Mine too."
"Really?"
He nods.
I melt. I'm so gooey I can barely stand up straight. I've hated all family related holidays since my parents went MIA, but this year my first thought wasn't Mom and Dad still aren't around. It was I get to spend Christmas with my boyfriend.
With the man I love more than anyone.
That's the best Christmas present I've ever had, hands down.
And it gets better. Ethan and Mal are really here this year. And Violet. And Joel. We're all having Christmas dinner. Here, in Kit's apartment.
With his parents. They've been staying with us for a few days. They're not exactly crazy in love, but they're happy and they're doing well. His Mom has been out of rehab for months. She's been sober for nearly half a year.
I know he has his doubts, but it seems like she's going to be okay.
Kit leans down to plant another kiss on my lips. This one is just as deep and slow, but it's also more demanding. His tongue claims my mouth. His hands slide to my ass and pull my body against his. Fuck how I want to continue this. I want to throw him on the couch and remind him that it's my favorite place to make love—and yes, I really do think of it as making love now.
But his parents are upstairs.
He pulls back with a knowing smile. "You want to get dressed so we can take a walk?"
"Are we walking to someplace where we can have sex?"
He chuckles. "I can arrange that."
"Yes, please." I plant another kiss on his lips then I run upstairs to change. According to my phone, the weather is set to be warm and sunny with blue skies and no clouds. All of my friends from out of state—I've made so many friends in my acting classes—find the whole sun in December thing absurd. But to me, blue skies and sunshine feel like home.
This apartment feels like home.
Being with Kit feels like home in a way that being alone in my parents' house never did.
Just because I can, I put on a dress and sandals. Okay, and a cardigan sweater. I still look like the perfect college good girl, but I don't mind it anymore. There's something kind of fun about looking sweet and feeling dirty.
And god how Kit makes me feel dirty in the best possible way.
Maybe I can stay quiet. I contemplate the matter as I sneak down the stairs.
Kit is leaning against the kitchen counter, coffee cup in one hand, cell phone in the other. His dark eyes are wide with surprise.
I move close enough to steal his coffee. Okay, yes, I do drink what's left of it. Then I look up into his eyes. "Should I be jealous?"
"Joel is bringing his wife to dinner."
"Joel has a wife?"
"He does."
"But Joel has never spent a second night with a woman. Who the hell did he..." I take the spot next to Kit so I can read his phone. The text from Joel is quick and to the point. I need an extra seat at dinner. My wife is coming. "He must be joking."
"It happened a few days ago. In Vegas."
That makes more sense. "He married a stranger in Vegas?"
"Yeah."
There's something in his voice...
"You knew about this, didn't you?" I ask.
"He swore me to secrecy."
"You kept a secret from me?"
"Joel's secret." He sets the phone on the counter face-down. "I had... nevermind why." He pulls me into his arms. "It's a mess. In a week, he'll get it annulled and for
get it ever happened."
"Want to bet on that?"
He nods. "A hundred dollars says it's officially over by the time your semester starts."
"You're on." As much as I can't believe Joel is married—seriously, what the fuck?—I know the drummer enough to know he doesn't go into anything unless he's intending on seeing it through.
Kit runs his fingers through my hair. "You still good with a walk?"
"Are we still walking someplace where we can have sex?"
He chuckles. "If you make one more blunt request."
I shake my head. "I've asked enough. It's your turn."
He plants a kiss on my lips. "I'm going to take you someplace where I can make you come, yes. But more coffee first."
"That's good too."
He smiles, but there's still something about his expression. It's not Joel's secret, though that is a whopper of a secret. It's an expression I almost never see on Kit.
He's nervous.
He's actually blushing.
It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. No, the hottest thing I've ever seen. No, it's both.
"You ready?" He slides his arm around my waist.
"I am." I follow him out the door.
It's a beautiful day for a walk, even if it is chilly this early in the morning. I stay close to Kit, letting the heat of his body warm mine.
According to the sign in the window, the coffee shop down the street is open. But we aren't moving towards it. We're stopping.
Kit slides his arms around my waist and pulls me onto a concrete bench. There's something familiar about it.
Oh.
It's the bench where we had that lunch, where he told me he was a mess and that I shouldn't waste my time sorting it out. He completely failed to convince me, but then I don't think anyone could ever convince me that Kit is anything less than sweet and loving.
I run my fingers through his hair then lean in close enough to kiss him. He tastes good, like Kit and like coffee, and his kiss makes me warm everywhere. Not just hot with desire but warm with affection.
He smiles when he pulls back. His eyes are still filled with nervous energy, even as they go to the bright blue sky.
I really like him nervous, especially when I know it has something to do with me, with us.
"This has been the best year of my life. And it's the first year I've spent completely sober in a long time." He places his palm on top of mine. "I never thought those things would go together. Maybe they don't." He brings his gaze back to me. "It's because of you, Piper. You're brighter than that sun. Hell, you are the sun in my life. You are the thing that warms me, that brightens my days, that makes it possible for life to bloom and grow."
I stare back into his eyes. There are still hints of nerves, but mostly his expression is full of earnest affection.
He takes my hand. "Since that day at the hospital, I haven't had a single doubt. I want to be with you forever."
Kit lowers himself onto the ground.
Onto one knee.
Holy shit.
He pulls something out of his pocket, the present with the raspberry wrapping paper. He hands it to me.
I peel off the wrapping. My eyes go to his. Is he really doing this?
Are we really...
He pulls open the ring box. "Piper Strong, will you marry me?"
The ring is modern, a round stone in a twisting band.
It's huge.
It's huge and it's beautiful.
I bring my gaze from the ring to Kit. "What about Mal and Ethan?"
"Already got their blessing."
"Really?"
He smiles. "And a few choice words about what will happen to me if I break your heart."
Now, I'm smiling too. I can't believe my brothers are okay with this. Not that I'd let their disapproval affect my decision. "Everyone is going to say I'm too young."
"Do you care?"
"No." I stare into his eyes. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."
He slides the ring onto my finger. It's the best thing I've ever seen, my left hand adorned with Kit's engagement ring.
Then my gaze goes back to him, to the expression of joy on his face, and that becomes the best thing I've ever seen.
I pull him up, into my arms, and I kiss him. Our kiss is the best thing I've ever felt.
I don't have any doubts. Wherever life takes me, I know I want Kit by my side.
Want More Dangerous Noise?
Sign up for the Crystal Kaswell mailing list to get the extended epilogue to Dangerous Crush. You’ll also get bonus scenes, teases, and updates on new releases.
Dangerous Rock, Joel and Bella’s story, is coming in March 2017.
Want more hard-headed alpha rock stars? Check out the Sinful Serenade series. Miles, Drew, Tom, and Pete each have their own standalone novel. But be warned: the Sinful Serenade series is known to cause sleepless nights and melted Kindles.
Sinful Serenade
Sing Your Heart Out - Miles
Strum Your Heart Out - Drew
Rock Your Heart Out - Tom
Play Your Heart Out - Pete
Sinful Ever After – series sequel
Author’s Note
After I finished this book, I sat down in the coffee shop down the street and I started writing an author’s note about my favorite song. Okay, favorite is the wrong word. Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner is not my favorite song. It’s not even my favorite Fall Out Boy song. (On second thought, it absolutely is. I don’t think I can understand how much the album From Under the Cork Tree means to me). But it is a song that struck me somewhere deep the first time I really listened to the lyrics. Teenage Crystal listened to this song on repeat. Okay, and early 20s Crystal. It’s all about thinking you’re a mess but wanting someone’s love enough that you’re willing to drag them to your level.
Kit is only a little younger than I am, at least assuming this book is taking place as I’m writing this letter. I’d like to think this song struck the same chord in him.
In my head, this story has always been about loving someone enough that you trust them that you’re worth the trouble. This book has been very personal to me, and not just because I’ve listened to Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner more times than I care to count.
I’ve seen the devastation of addiction. The addict in my life had a happy ending. But that isn’t always the case. Ends for addicts are often tragic and fast. Way too fast. The downward spiral wrecks lives, families, jobs. It’s ugly.
If you are struggling, please get help. If a loved one is struggling, please seek resources to help the two of you.
It is hard to write about mental health in a way that offers shades of grey. If you’ve read my books, you know that I’m not afraid of tackling difficult subjects. I always hope to present them in a realistic way, without judgement or sugar coating. But the nature of romance is that the books tend to be romantic. Love conquers all. Everyone gets their happy ending. In reality (and hopefully in my books too), love can’t cure mental health problems. But I’d like to think that love can be enough to inspire someone to start to fix themselves (with or without professional help).
Okay, with all of that said, let’s move on to the rest.
Thank you for joining me on Kit and Piper’s journey. Thank you for joining me with this Dangerous Noise series. I love the Dangerous Noise guys as much as I loved the Sinful Serenade guys. (If you loved this book, you’ll love Sinful Serenade too. Start with Sing Your Heart Out, cocky playboy Miles Webb’s book.) I can’t wait to share Joel’s book Dangerous Rock with all my readers. It will be out in March 2017. I still plan to keep you captivated with tales of tattooed rock stars with big hearts and bigger personal demons for years to come.
Sign up for the Crystal Kaswell mailing list if you’d like to stay in touch. You’ll get a bunch of Sinful Serenade and Dangerous Noise bonuses, as I can’t seem to stop writing about these guys.
You can also find me on Facebook.
You can find more of my
books here.
Acknowledgments
My first thanks goes to my husband, for his support when I’m lost in bookland and for generally being the sun in my sky. The second goes to my father, for always encouraging my love of reading and for taking me to the bookstore when I was supposed to be grounded.
Athena Wright, you are the best author BFF a girl could ask for. Thank you for your feedback, for being my chat buddy, and for always being there to give me the perspective I need. And thank you Molle, for fangirling over pop-punk albums with me, and for reminding me that loving my work matters as much as all the marketing money in the world. To my cover designers, Skyla and LJ, thank you for your work in making my rock star series perfect. To my editors, Tonya and Nik, thank you for whipping the story and the prose into shape. And thanks to Giselle at Xpresso and to all the book bloggers who helped get the word out.
As always, my biggest thanks goes to my readers. Thank you for picking up Dangerous Crush. I hope you’ll be back for the rest of the Dangerous Noise series.
More Books by Crystal Kaswell
Dangerous Noise
Dangerous Kiss – Ethan
Dangerous Crush – Kit
Dangerous Rock – Joel – coming spring 2017
Dangerous Touch – Mal – coming summer 2017
Sinful Serenade
Sing Your Heart Out - Miles
Strum Your Heart Out - Drew
Rock Your Heart Out - Tom
Play Your Heart Out - Pete
Sinful Ever After – series sequel
Sign up for the Crystal Kaswell mailing list to get the extended epilogue to Dangerous Crush. You’ll also get the extended epilogue to Dangerous Kiss and a bunch of Sinful Serenade bonus scenes.
Dangerous Crush: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 2) Page 26